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2 books in 1: Sex positions for couples and tantric sex, kama sutra and dirty talk. Complete sex guide for beginners and advanced

 

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SEX POSITIONS FOR COUPLES AND TANTRIC SEX

Exciting techniques for beginners to experience maximum pleasure and boost your energy. A guide for couples with tips on Kama sutra and tantric positions

Introduction 4

 

Chapter 1.  Couple Relationship

Chapter 2. Sexual Positions For Beginners And Advanced Chapter 3. The Differences Between Male And Female Orgasm Chapter 4.  Couple Sex For A Pregnant Woman

Chapter 5. Tips To Overcome Anxiety And Insecurity Chapter 6.  Sexual Fantasies And Fetishism

Chapter 7.  Oral Sex On A Woman

Chapter 8. Find Out Why A Relationship Needs Sex And New Positions Chapter 9.  Top Sexual Fantasies

Chapter 10. The Best Sexual Positions

Chapter 11. The History  And Origins Of Tantric Sex Chapter 12. The Tantric Psychology

Chapter 13. The Basis Of Tantric Sex Chapter 14. How To Practice This Discipline

Chapter 15. Techniques To Learn How To Do Tantric Massage Chapter 16. Tantric Sex Positions

Chapter 17. Attainment Of Ecstasy

Chapter 18. Female Orgasm, Multiple Orgasm

Chapter 19. Improve Your Performance Thanks To These Tips Chapter 20. Intense And Prolonged Coitus

Chapter 21. The Importance Of Your Breath Conclusion

KAMA SUTRA AND DIRTY TALK

How to improve you sex experience with amazing positions for couples and tantric techniques. A sex guide for beginners for improving your intimate relationship

Introduction

 

Chapter 1. Compatibility

Chapter 2. Things to Know and Best Positions for Your First Time Chapter 3. Sex Toys for Beginners

Chapter 4. Mind and Body Intimacy Chapter 5. Oral Sex Techniques Chapter 6. Anal Sex

Guide to anal sex

Chapter 7. Best Kama Sutra Position

Chapter 8. How to Be Free from Anxiety  and Insecurity Chapter 9. Erotic Massages and Sexual Fantasies Chapter 10.  Sex During the Menstrual Cycle

Chapter 11.   How Exciting It Is to Talk Dirty

Chapter 12. The Best Things to Say to Your Partner Chapter 13. Sexual Tension Increases with Dirty Talk Chapter 14.  Unleash Inhibitory Restraints

Chapter 15. Talking Dirty to Fulfill All Your Fantasies Chapter 16.  Dirty  Talk Phrases

Phrases to say during foreplay Phrases to say during intercourse Phrases to say  during orgasm

Chapter 17. Sexual Communication and Erotic Massage Chapter 18.  Importance of Communication

Chapter 19. The Psychology Behind the Language of Lust Chapter 20.  Foreplay

Chapter 21. Building Your Carnal Confidence Conclusion

Introduction

 

Yes, it is true as there certainly are a number of ways of having good sex and then you certainly have a number of best positions that might satisfy both of you. You have to discover the best sex position for you can help to hit the G-spot. It is of prime importance for you to understand that having sex with your partner for three to  four minutes is never going to satisfy her. You have to, in fact, try and search online for the best sex position and try to implement them when having sex with your partner more often. It is very much important that you try and communicate with your partner, so you are sure to be present on the same page and understand that everything is just working out fine.

You have to keep in mind that the G-spot is a region that is present behind the pubic bone, and the moment this is stimulated, it allows your women to experience a mind-blowing orgasm. So, before you actually get inside your women, it is important that you try and play with her for some time. This simple exercise might also help in discovering her G-spot and its exact location. Exploring is a good option, but when trying out Best Sex Positions, you certainly have to be very gentle to her. When having the best sex with your women, there certainly are a number of best sex positions  available that might help in reaching the G-spot climax that you are, in fact, looking for.

When you are making use of standard missionary style, you just need to ensure that you lift your girl's hips to a much higher elevation so you can enjoy maximum penetration inside her, giving her more pleasure. When on top you should also try to put more amount of weight on her so she can feel you. There are a number of men who try having sex without actually shifting their weight on her with an

 

aim to maintain Best Sex Positions You have to keep in mind that most women enjoy weight, so don't just keep it to yourself. Always bear in mind that women like having their men on top of them, and when they feel the pressure of pelvic against her, this might be the right time to hit the G-spot.

When working for the best position, it is important that you try out different positions and then decide on which is the one that might stimulate her. When having sex with your women, it is important that you try and locate her G-spot soon, or else she might just lose all interest in having it with you. Try to increase her intensity by using the best sex position, which she is comfortable with.

To have good sex is the priority of lovemaking a couple, and if the male partner knows the right positions, then certainly it is going to give his female counterpart a good orgasm very fast. The same is true with your female counterpart. Using different positions for sex is going to make an unforgettable experience for both. By using these positions, one can make the experience really pleasurable and enjoyable.

It will be interesting for you to note that traditional positions are great things to experience. But one can be bored with these positions and will go for new positions in greater demand. You can try some of the classic position which includes

Doggie style

This position remains the ideal sex position because of the pleasure it gives to women. If you want to satisfy your female counterpart, then nothing else, then this doggy style position will help you in having sex with her. The style will certainly make her crazy and will

 

demand more. Although there are a number of positions providing pleasure, but nothing can beat a doggy style position. You can make changes or incorporate new things into it to make it more enjoying, and you will be really happy in the end. You know that when you are armed with the best knowledge, nothing even you can wrong. You can certainly be going to experience which you had not done earlier and can make me feel really very happy.

The missionary position is the first and foremost position that allows the face to face contact. In this position, you can use many variations to make her happy and getting her desirable early orgasm. If you will be able to satisfy her demand, then she will be asking for more. In the missionary position, you take the command, and your female counterpart follows the course to get her orgasm. By taking a missionary position, you can enjoy intercourse and can change to other positions also and will not face any problems either.

Creep

Profound infiltration can be accomplished with the lady on every one of the fours and her accomplice bowing behind her. This position offers the two sweethearts the chance to push against each other, and the man may likewise touch his accomplice's bosoms, hindquarters, and clitoris. Back passage positions like this one are perfect when the two accomplices are in the disposition for lively as opposed to delicate lovemaking. A variety is for the two accomplices to remain with the lady bowing forward and supporting herself against furniture.

Cross

 

Here the lady lies on her back on the bed, and the man lies corner to corner over her. She opens her legs to enable him to enter, and he shakes tenderly from side to side. She can direct his developments with the weight of her hands. This position is, to some degree, simpler to keep up if the man lies underneath on his back, and the lady is in charge.

Cuissade

This position is known as 'Cuissade', from the French cuisse, meaning thigh. The lady lies on her back, with the man next to her. She raises the leg closest to him and lays it on his body, and he enters from under her thigh, with his closest leg crossing her body. They can hold each other and kiss, and the position is an extremely private one, perhaps as a result of the 'cryptic' type of passage. The lady can apply a specific measure of limitation with her thigh, which can make it all the more energizing.

Cunnilingus

In cunnilingus, the man animates his accomplice's vulva and clitoris with his lips and tongue. For most ladies, cunnilingus gives the most flavourful exotic delight and is the ideal method for peaking. It is additionally incredibly exciting for her accomplice.

It is sensitive expertise, requiring tolerance, practice, and commitment to take care of business, yet any lady you figure out how to do it directly for will welcome all of you the more for it.

What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-everybody is unique, requiring an alternate touch to fulfil its proprietor. Yet, not many instruments can rise to the tongue for the measure of delight it can convey to a glad vagina.

 

How quick would it be a good idea for me to go?

This isn't an assault. Try not to pursue the clitoris like a firefighter assaulting a fire. Regularly from the start, the clitoris is unreasonably touchy for direct incitement. Lick around it, invigorating the hood, prodding her internal labia, tasting her. Take as much time as is needed and hear her out. A few ladies make clamour, and some don't. It will be some time before you realize precisely what your sweetheart lean towards to the extent oral sex is concerned. A few ladies may like extra incitement - a finger or two into the vagina, or maybe even the rear-end. She may need your hands to reach up and play with her bosoms, or she may need your fingers to hold her labia separated so your tongue can get at her vulva all the more straightforwardly.

I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste great

In the event that the taste or smell irritates you or is a worry, request that her wash first. A great many people who appreciate cunnilingus concur that a perfect vagina is a decent, whenever obtained, taste. As a lady approaches her peak, she may need more straightforward incitement. When all is said in done, quick, cadenced incitement is best at causing peak - yet there shouldn't be a race to arrive. Take as much time as necessary and figure out how to acknowledge what you can accomplish for her.

Shouldn't something be said about cunnilingus during a monthly cycle?

A few people are especially skilled at the recommendation of cunnilingus during the feminine cycle. In the event that it is a worry to you, at that point, pause. A tampon may well keep the blood down,

 

as will a stomach, yet a few men can't stand the taste in any case. In the event that your accomplice is solid, in any case, there is no specific threat in menstrual blood, and a few ladies find that climaxes during their period's alleviated cramps.

Fellatio

In fellatio, the lady sucks licks, kisses, and strokes her accomplice's penis. Flawlessly fulfilling for the man, fellatio can likewise give huge sensual joy to the lady as she detects his reactions and his complete relinquishment to her.

Fellatio is the demonstration of applying your lips to a man's penis to give him delight.

There are scarcely any tips to fellatio that can be given other than training. The lips and the tongue are the significant wellsprings of incitement, and it is with the lips and tongue that you ought to apply the consideration regarding make him feel better. The two people react well to weight and cadence. A relentless, solid stroke will be sufficient to get the response you're searching for.

Imagine a scenario in which it doesn't smell or taste pleasant.

In the event that the smell isn't something you appreciate, at that point, guide him to go wash up! While this is something you're doing principally for his pleasure, that doesn't mean you need to endure if he's inadequate in cleanliness! What's more, in case you're stressed over germs, your mouth has millions a greater number of germs than a perfect penis.

What is "profound throating?"

 

Profound throating is the demonstration of bringing the penis down past your muffle reflex. In all actuality, this specific sexual experience is very misrepresented. The ideal approach to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, accepting just as much as you can without choking. Nonetheless, for those that need to know, the fundamental exercise is still practice. At that point, ascend off of it similarly as gradually.

Are there any extraordinary spots on the penis?

Each penis is unique, and everyone has its soft spots and its favoured methods for being taken care of. Tune in to your sweetheart. The sounds he makes, and the vibe of his body straining are your best hints that you're going this right.

Using hands, Is it OK?

Don't hesitate to get a handle on with your hands whatever of the penis you can't fit into your mouth. Numerous men like; however, much incitement as could reasonably be expected, and the vibe of a wet mouth and a spit slicked hand is sufficient to send them to the edge of climax rapidly.

What are 69?

A few people feel that the best position to perform oral sex is the 69 position, where each accomplice lies with their head by the other's privates. For fellatio, this even bodes well - most penises bend upwards, towards the head, and in this position, bend coordinates the bend of the throat. However, it is hard to both perform and acknowledge oral sex simultaneously. Attempt the position, or bow by his body, however at any rate before all else does each thing in turn.

 

My beau needs me to swallow. What do I do?

Which carries us to a touchy issue: gulping discharge, for some men, this is critical to them- - they like to feel that by gulping their semen, you complete this demonstration of lovemaking and acknowledge a piece of themselves into your body. Be that as it may, numerous individuals don't care for the flavour of semen and can't bring themselves. Discussion about this in advance let him know whether you can't deal with it and that it's not closes to home.

As a rule, nutritionist’s state that antacid based nourishments, for example, meats and fish produce margarine, fish taste.

Dairy items, which contain a high bacterial festering level, make the foulest tasting liquids by a wide margin. (Difference: nearly everybody I know says that there is one more terrible than high-dairy content- - asparagus. You can't miss the flavour of asparagus-bound semen.) Acidic natural products, for example, desserts, organic products, and liquor, give natural liquids a wonderful, sugary flavour. Synthetically prepared mixers will cause a very acidic taste, be that as it may, so in case you're going to drink liquor, drink high-calibre, normally aged lagers (Rolling Rock or Kirin) or purpose.

What are the substances of semen?

The subject of semen content emerges particularly among people who routinely swallow semen, as in fellatio, and who are worried about calorie consumption and nourishing substances.

The caloric substance of a normal discharge is assessed to be around 15 calories.

There is just one genuine approach to do fellatio, and that is with excitement. You  need to cherish what you're doing to him, either    in

 

light of the fact that you love him, or you love sucking cockerel. Cherishing both is ideal! Faked climaxes have nothing on  dull fellatio.

Fireside

In this comfortable position, which can pursue cunnilingus, the lady sits easily in a rocker with her hands and legs around the man, who enters bowing before her. On the off chance that she reclines, he can bolster himself with his hands on the rear of the seat, which will permit him more push.

Futon

For this position, you have to evaluate all your furniture to discover a bit of the right tallness. The lady lies on the edge of a table, futon or bed secured with blankets and cushions, and spreads her legs wide. This bears him a lot of control, and the edge of infiltration is steep.

 

hapter 1.       Couple Relationship

Relationships require maintenance and constant work for it to succeed and turn into a long, loving, and happy relationship. People are often taught that love just happens, and sometimes they are even told that for a relationship to be successful, love is all that is needed. However, relationships are much more than that and love is not enough. Love can be the first spark that ignites the relationship and is how it came to exist. To build a long-lasting connection with another person, you need to think in more realistic terms when it comes to defining love. Expanding on the simplistic view, or fairy- tale, you dreamt of when you were young is the first step.

For a happy relationship, you have to actively work on it and make the best of everything you encounter on your path to happiness. Having a happy relationship means making conscious choices that will work towards that happiness, even if sometimes the decisions you make seem difficult and challenging.

Everyone makes mistakes when it comes to relationships, and we aren’t referring to solely romantic ones. Even with friends, our behaviour might influence how much they trust us, rely on us, and how much we will connect with them, and on what level. The fact we all make mistakes doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do about it. There is actually a lot! There are actions both you and your partner could take to avoid mistakes, manage them if they  already happened, and bring happiness to your relationship:

Your partner is your equal: This is something people often forget when they are bossing each other around. Do you recognize yourself

 

or your partner while reading this? Instead of being the leader of the relationship, try collaboration. Work together, listen to your partner, and be as supportive as possible.

Be respectful: Spending a lot of time with one person can be indeed exhausting, especially if you live with your partner. Sometimes, it may seem like your partner is triggering your nerves or anxiety, and you may feel anger or resentment building up. You may end up lashing out even if he or she isn’t entirely at fault. No matter how you feel, how angry you are, your partner needs to learn about such emotions respectively. Communication plays an important role here as well as self-control. Practice both of these even outside of your relationship, and you will see only the positive influence it leaves on people.

Spend quality time with your partner: Back when your relationship was fresh and new, you spent so much time together, and you did everything together. Where did all of that go? Well, life happens, children come, people focus on their jobs and careers,  home, chores, and so on. Some may lose all of their free time that they used to devote to their partners. Even so, for a relationship to succeed, you need to make that time even when it’s scarce. Happy relationships demand you to push yourself and your partner and do something together. It is not enough to talk to each other at the end of the day about work or various problems. Quality time means getting to work together on a project. For instance, you can repaint your home, build a dollhouse for your kids, go hiking or exercising together, volunteer in an animal shelter, and so on. By working together  on  something  that  you  are  both  interested  in,  you   will

 

reconnect and even learn new things about each other. It is a satisfying and enriching experience.

Learn how to forgive: It is essential to know how to forgive your partner's mistakes, but you also have to be willing to forgive yourself. Empathy plays a significant role in forgiveness. It helps you feel your partner's emotions, understand their behaviour, and make room in your heart for real and unconditional forgiveness. Be the same towards yourself. Learn self-compassion and practice it. It is a great skill that will not just heal wounds created by mistakes, but also teach you not to repeat them.

Expectations: When you commit to someone, it doesn’t mean you are supposed to rely on him or her to make you happy. Young couples often make this mistake. Your partner is your companion through life and not just an accessory. Do not expect your partner to completely understand you or know you as this can rarely be achieved by anyone and it will only cause you various feelings of anxiety. Remember that you are two individuals with your own experiences, and you are supposed to complement each other. He is not entirely responsible for your happiness. Just being with your partner should bring you relief and joy, and if you want more from your relationship, it is up to you to make it happen. If there is something your partner could do and it would make you happy, be open about it, and say it clearly. People cannot read minds and relationships often fail simply due to the lack of communication, which stems from having unclear expectations and making assumptions.

Confidence, Honesty and Loyalty

 

The three most desirable traits people seek in their love interests are confidence, honesty, and loyalty. But they do not come naturally to everyone. Some gain them during their childhood, while others have to learn them and stay true to them to build a healthy, stable relationship.

Confidence

We quickly develop low self-esteem if you are hurt in a previous relationship. It may be difficult to win back your trust, but it is not impossible. Confidence should be strong yet yielding, as overconfident people can be inflexible and bad listeners. However, the right amount will improve your relationship, the way you react in stressful situations, and it will positively affect your health. There is a series of exercises you could do every day to build your confidence, such as the following:

Have a clear picture of what you want to be: Visualizing your goals is a fantastic technique to build motivation. It will keep you going and remind you of your aspirations and goals. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you want with friends, family, and especially with your partner. They can help you get there, with proper advice or with support.

Affirm yourself: It means you need to vocalize positive statements and opinions regarding yourself. It may sound silly at first,  but hearing it, even hearing yourself saying it out loud, will help you believe it. The human brain tends to accept statements more quickly if they are in the form of a question. Instead of saying, “I am good with money,” try asking yourself, “why am I so good with money?”

 

Challenge yourself: Once a day, do something that scares you. In most cases, the best way to overcome fear is to face it. Anxieties often stop people from performing simple, everyday tasks like making a phone call, going to the bank, or meeting new people. Doing things that scare you will push you to realize that you can improve yourself. Going through the challenge may even boost your self-confidence and in time help you get over some of your anxieties. Just be sure to make a ritual of it and challenge yourself every day.

Approve of yourself: People with various anxieties will often criticize themselves due to the impossible standards they have in place. However, this behaviour usually leads to a great deal of anxiety and strain on a relationship. Instead of listening to your inner critic, try approving of yourself instead. Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, instead of overthinking whether you performed well enough. Offering yourself this approval is not easy, especially if you’re low on self-esteem. Now ask yourself, is there evidence that proves you are not a failure? Write everything down, go over your lists and focus on the positive rather than negative. It’s enough for just a small dose of positive thinking to outweigh and overwhelm the negative thoughts.

Start small: Many people fail because their goals are too challenging. Some people are perfectionists, and any small error will be considered a failure. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to take your time and set small goals that are easy to accomplish. These small goals will build a stream of success that boosts confidence, and you will feel ready for larger ones because now you know   you   can   reach   them.   Remind   yourself   of   your     daily

 

accomplishments, as they will keep you motivated and confident enough to accomplish anything you set out to achieve.

Honesty

Being honest is so much more than telling the truth. It also means not keeping any secrets from your partner, caring for others, and having integrity. Being honest means your partner can fully rely on you, trust you with his whole heart, and be proud of you. Take note, that even small “white” lies can generate relationship problems, mistrust, and anxiety, for yourself as well as your partner once he or she learns the truth. If you find yourself telling small lies due to your stress, you may need to practice honesty. Here are the steps you can take to learn how to be completely honest without being anxious:

Understand why you lied: Did you fabricate things to make yourself look better? Or to avoid embarrassment? Understanding why you lied is a big step forward to changing the things about you for the better. People lie for various reasons but being aware of those reasons will help you deal with them in other ways. Maybe you need to work on your confidence, or you think you deserve more respect. Try to earn it with honesty instead of making up stories about yourself. People often lie out of shame or out of a lack of confidence and self-esteem. For instance, if you did something you aren’t proud of, you may be tempted to cover it up with lies. Many people even lie to themselves in an attempt to get rid of that feeling of shame. Instead, be responsible and accept your bad behaviour because acceptance allows you to take the steps needed to correct it. This way, you will show others that you can be honest and possibly someone to trust and rely on.

 

Change your behaviour: Guilt is a powerful feeling, and any behaviour that has led you to experience it will cause anxiety. When you are found guilty by others, you may also  lose  their respect. Being guilty and admitting it will more often bring understanding instead of judgment, especially when it comes to your partner who loves you. However, you should not rely on knowledge alone. Try to change bad habits and behaviours and avoid putting yourself in a situation that will make you feel guilty and that will make you lie to your loved ones.

Don’t compare yourself to others: In our attempt to be better and earn respect, we often lie about who we are. You need to accept who you are and to learn to live with it, even if you see yourself in a negative light. Don’t forget that anxiety often makes people overly critical of themselves, and you might not be as faulty as you think. Improve yourself, work on your personality, and become who you want to be instead of lying about it. Instead of making up things about yourself to impress your partner, let your honesty impress him. It will build a connection between the two of you, and it will make your relationship stronger.

Avoid lying for others: Sometimes, our friends and family will put us in stressful situations and ask us to lie for them. Let them know  this is not an option for you and that you are an honest person. If they want you to keep a secret for them, be sure you can do it, and don’t give in to the temptation of gossip.

Loyalty

When we think about loyalty in a relationship, it usually means as not cheating.  But  loyalty  also  implies  devotion  to  your  partner, being

 

faithful, committed, and honest. Loyalty is so much more than just fidelity. It means opening yourself to your partner and sharing all of your emotions, thoughts, and opinions. Here’s what you can do to show and prove your loyalty to your partner:

If you want to be truly loyal to your partner, you have to be honest with yourself. Practice transparencies get to know yourself and be aware of who you are. We often have the wrong image of ourselves, and if you don’t know yourself, how could you offer to be connected to someone else. How can you share yourself, and commit?

Be open with your partner. Not just honest but let them read you. Share your emotions and opinions at the end of your day. Sit down with your partner and spend time talking about your day. Include all the events and express how it made you feel and how it has influenced you.

Don’t put yourself in the position that will make you hide something from your partner. Don’t hide events, experiences, and don’t hide your emotions. Keeping secrets is postponing the inevitable. Secrets always come out one way or another and your attempt to hide them will just cause pain for you and your partner.

Be supportive. Be there for your partner through the good and bad. We all have our moments when even the slightest tantrum will trigger anxiety. Don’t judge your partner. Don’t tell him or her how to behave or what to do. Support them with understanding and care. Don’t say things like “There is no reason to be angry”, say it “I understand why that would make you angry”.

 

hapter 2.       Sexual Positions for Beginners and Advanced

Beginners Positions Man, on Top

Man, on Top is not the dominance of man to woman, but  an equitable way of pleasure for both partners. It allows them constant eye contact and easy access to kissing, licking bodies and sucking boobs. Plus, it is quite relaxing and enjoyable to put the man on control and lie down, being on top of her and going deep inside, spicing the experience of both partners up. It allows the  man to adjust his body towards her navel so that his penis gets deeper and deeper into the vagina, proving a strong stimulation and a rubbing experience to the inner lips of the vagina. This could be varied by small movements, like straightening the legs and allowing him to shallow or bending knees by either of the partners. Or even by allowing the male to stay on feet and go straight and deep with friction into the vagina. Many variations are possible with enormous hidden joys. Variations will crave both partners to indulge deep into sex and experience unforgettable joys.

Missionary

This sex position, famously known as missionary, is one of the most desirous situations to get the most out of sex and guarantee satisfaction for you and your lady. It allows both male and female counterparts to lie down, with the man on top and full exposure of the figure. Bodies are joined tightly, providing sensible, emotional and feeling exposure, with male’s back hold tightly by female counterpart and legs in between the wide opened legs of the  female

 

partner. Its enthusiasts to go deeper inside of the vagina with an elegant face, lips, neck, and breasts kissing due to the full exposure of figure, not only for the male but also for the female, gifting an adventurous climbing with deep penetration. This is one of the few positions that guarantee frictionless and thorough penis inclusion inside of the vagina. As a consequence of this, it guarantees a mild experience until you wish to move on. Being generous with your lady will reward you both with a marvellous enjoyment.

Lying Missionary

Being another desirous sex position, lying missionary is the best to get more fun with the ease of doing since it guarantees enormous satisfaction for both counterparts. The female partner lies straight on her back with the man face-down on top of her, getting full exposure of her body. This position is more desirous due to its simplicity, elegance, comfort, and high level of intimacy. Initial aiming could  be a bit difficult for the male, but support from the female counterpart could make it more enjoyable and ensure ease of doing. It gifts both partners an enormous exposure with extreme kissing experience of the bodies and deeper penetration of the penis inside of the vagina, guaranteeing strong stimulation of the clitoris and preventing premature ejaculation. Both partners could malign their bodies deep with face, neck, breasts and chest licking, kissing together with a strong hugging experience. This position provides enthusiastic experience to both partners, by being generous with each other, and wild experience, by being rough with each other.

Folded Missionary

 

As another subsidiary of the missionary, this position is also quite simple and demanding among the foes due to its higher legitimacy, ease of doing, expressive figure persona and enormous satisfaction for both counterparts. The woman lies down on her back with arms around the back of the man. The only difference is the folded legs of the woman. This allows her to push the hips upward, towards the male partner, to feel and enthusiast deeper vaginal intercourse. Man, being on top, lies face-down on her, going deeper into the vaginal hole till the root of his penis, providing joyous treat of licking and sucking of body parts. For beginners, this is a priority position thanks to its enthusiastic gift of deep penetration, strong and physical vaginal intercourse and intermingling of bodies. This allows kissing and feeling the counterpart with comprehensive outbreaks of hugging. This position delights both partners with unending joy and remembers able sex experience. That is why it drives millions of partners to have sex most of the time in this position.

Tucked Missionary

As a dear relative of folded missionary, tucked type differs  in female’s legs position, that is bent on the knees, lied towards the abdomen and positioned outside of the male’s body. This benefits man by reducing the strain of leaning more and getting tired early. It also encourages man to get more physical and smoother towards the woman by getting frictionless, deeper vaginal penetration, with no barriers across the way, as legs are farther apart. It allows both partners to feel the thorough legitimacy of facial expression reading, hugging tightly, kissing and licking every part of the partner’s body, plus a strong inclusion of sex organs. This position allows deeper penetration,  with  mild  experience  of  frictionless  travel  and clitoris

 

journey, with favourable experiences for both partners. It allows partners to mingle their bodies with fuller instincts and an extensive experience of kissing and praising the female body as man is on top, lying straight and leaning forward by applying some weight on the female’s body. This experience is quite enthusiastic  and satisfies both partners.

Wrapped Missionary

This is another most demanding sex position for beginners or efficient partners to get indulge in the mild experience of sex. To get involved in the wrapped position, the woman lies down on her back and wraps her legs around the back of the man, inclusively pressurizing him to stick to her body and feel hot with generous deep penetration. On the other hand, man is kneeling, lying face-down on her with bodies tightly joined, feeling the boobs on his chest and playing with her body by sucking boobs and kissing her face, neck and upper body parts, caressing her hairs and allowing her to hug him tightly and feel the moment with deeper instincts. As you deeply get involved in this position, you will experience an undeniable and unforgettable joy that will last longer and could steer both of you towards sex. The woman also raises her legs and tilts her pelvis, allowing him to smoothly penetrate the vagina, and uses her legs to guide him towards her joy as much as she likes.

Kneeling Missionary

Another desirous position out of the cluster of missionary sex positions is the kneeling missionary. This is closely related to the closed missionary, featuring the male’s legs on the outside  of women. This is not as efficient as other missionary positions. As  this

 

doesn’t allow males to go deep into the vagina and vaginal intercourse, it is quite not efficient enough to fully satisfy the male counterpart. The female partner hugs the male and hangs on her hips to his thighs to feel the deeper intercourse but doesn't guarantee as always. Being a difficult angle of penetration, this is not the most efficient use of man’s length. On the other hand, it benefits the female partner by allowing enormous clitoral stimulation by friction and rubbing of the penis with the inner lips of the vagina, satisfying her with mild joy. This position benefits especially the females who haven’t got deeper yet in the vagina.

Woman on Top

This category of positions involves a little dominance of the woman if allowed by the male side. It fills both partners with joys and adventures due to its uniqueness, verities, and enthusiasm. It  gives a real sight to the vaginal intercourse, anal gaping and licking or sucking with extreme instinct. No matter in what situation woman remains, being on top of his penis, permits him to pet her breasts, kiss her lips, hug her tightly or hold her buttocks firmly. It also may allow slapping on her ass gently to turn sex into a rough one and increasing the delights with the harsh approach. It is up to the partners to opt either of the two. These positions make her able to control the pace and deepness of entry into her holes and let him observe the female movement with beautiful sights of the  penis going in and out of the vagina and anal gap.

Lying Cowgirl

Being a marvellous sex position from the horizon of the woman on top, lying cowgirl is acknowledged by those who give equal voice   to

 

their lady. It allows both male and female partners to lie down with the woman face-down on the male partner who is lying on his back. The woman’s legs are right above the man’s legs and provide less mobility for both partners as man is beneath the woman and less able to deeply penetrate his penis in and out of the vagina. A higher degree of intimacy is guaranteed due to rubbing and extreme intercourse of the penis with the vagina. It also allows both partners to feel and enthusiast sex with unlimited kissing joys and licking adventures. The best pleasure could be gained with the woman positioned a little up from the male’s body, allowing him more space to thrust upward with gentle pushes. It gives both partners full exposure with elegant kissing, feeling tightly joined bodies and sucking breasts, guaranteeing marvellous joys and adventures.

Closed Cowgirl

A more joyous sex position with the man lying on his back, straightening his legs, and woman on top with legs closed inside the legs of the male partner. Bodies are bonded tightly with the woman hugging him strongly, providing a sensible and elegant experience with a full vaginal provision and strong clitoris stimulation. Male partner pushes her forward to give deep vaginal intercourse by hands lying on the female’s ass. Whereas the female partner encircles her hands around the neck of the male,  creating adventures of extreme kissing and licking.

Advanced positions

• Swing- For this position, the man kneels up, puts his feet on the ground, and reclines on his back. He then lifts his hip only to be supported by the shoulders, the head, and his feet. He may

 

choose to put his hands underneath behind him to act as additional support. The woman stands on top with legs apart the man's knees and then gradually sitting for penetration. This acrobatic location requires a strong back for it tends to be tiresome.

• Wheelbarrow- This position derives its name from the depiction that the couples make as they use it in sex. The man stands upright while the woman stands in front with her hands as support. The man lifts her by the ankles and positions her lips on his sides. The man is left between the woman's legs, making it easy to make a deep penetration and experience a wild and animalistic feeling. It is worth to note that the position requires upper body strength and ability. There is a variation of this position known as the advanced cow, but in this case, the man holds the woman's waist bringing her closer to the groin. This way, the man can control the pace of movement as well as the depth of his thrusts.

• Squeeze- It is a position that makes both partners participate and change roles. The woman lies on her back, facing up and placing her feet on the partner's chest. The position is similar to one formed when you step on the wall while lying on your bed. Chiefly, it puts the man on the wall position facing the woman. Women enjoy this position for it makes them feel relaxed. Men may choose to spice-up this position by rising on their knees, raising the woman's hips off the ground. However, women find this version uncomfortable for it leaves them resting on their upper back. In general, the position is popular for its stimulation of the G-spot.

• Luxurious Lap- The position starts by both partners sitting while facing peachy other. The woman sits between the man's legs and raises her feet to put them on the man's shoulders. Both

 

lean behind placing their hands behind them as support. After the formation, the man draws his partner close to him to find the best angle of insertion. It is a relaxing position for physically fit couples and ensures that they maintain eye contact.

• Web - While it may sound more of a position, the web position is more of a physical feat. It positions the woman in what looks like a mega spider web in a manner that could allow different forms of penetration. The numerous sexually available ways make the man feel free to work; however, he finds fit. The artistic nature of the web makes it easy to create a different sexual position. However, the web may be costly or require extensive maintenance.

• Crab- As an advanced sex position, you must be sure that this one too requires physical fitness, especially on your hands. The man starts by lying while facing upwards and raising himself to support by hands and feet. The woman then sits on him and lies on his lap and stretching her hands out to reach the ground for support. If she is tall enough, her feet may reach the ground under the man’s butt. She then lowers onto the penis and raises her pelvis. Through teamwork, you should get a real workout.

• Ladder- In this position, the woman hangs on the man who comes from behind. The position requires a degree of manoeuvres. The man stands behind the woman holding her hands towards him. The woman then steps just above the man's knees as he bends to make her feel comfortable. They then adjust their bodies to allow for a smooth slip. Notably, couples engaging in this position should be sure of their stamina and keeping of balance.

 

• Arc Love- The position requires that the man sits on a flat platform extending the feet in front of him. The woman should then crawl up to him on her knees and start straddling him. She should make herself comfortable and arch into a back end while lowering into the erect penis. Proper caution should be  taken to avoid straining the lower back too much. The woman could also rest her head between his feet and grab his ankles. At this time, the man should lean forward and start the action.

• Propeller- As the name suggests, this position requires one partner to act as a propeller. The man starts by lying on top of the woman in the traditional missionary form. After complete penetration, the partner then starts rotating around like a propeller as the woman supports and guides him in the spin. The position requires partners to have sheer coordination to avoid hitting each other's head or similar incidents. The woman should be sure to lift the feet as they pass over her head as the man is busy screwing things up.

• X-shaped- It is a position that required a degree of control and coordination. The man should lie face up while the woman straddles on him as she turns around. The women back should be pointed towards him and should lower herself to position well on the penis. Her legs should be extended towards the man' shoulders while relaxing her torso between his feet. After ultimately forming the x-shape, the woman should then slide up and down and utilize his feet for enhanced thrusting.

• Head Squeeze- It is one of the games considered as not suitable for the faint-hearted. It is a challenging one and starts by lying flat and face up. As a woman, you should use your hands to

 

support the back while making a perpendicular inclination while feet lifted high. The man should kneel and grab your hips up as he brings his knees close to your shoulders. The position allows you to be steady as you expose the most critical area of the moment. By holding on to his thighs, you can adjust and leverage your pace and position.

• Booty- The position provides a challenge of gaining momentum but provides a smooth sexy ride once mass. The man sits stretching his feet in front of him. The posture allows the woman to face downwards and lies between the partner's feet, pulling her feet behind the man. She then lowers herself to access the erect penis. The position is excellent for its association with freedom and ability to engage the hands for killer workouts and biceps.

• Vixen- Depending on your flexibility, you could use this position to go a long way. It provides a deep penetration making it worth trying. The man should stand upright in front of the receiver. The woman puts her hands around his neck and his arms around her lower back. He then helps her prop her two feet on  his shoulders. The man may opt to make a knee bend to make a full-on jaw-dropper on this move.

• Stairs- The position brings a new meaning to sex and romance. The woman kneels on an elevated platform such as a staircase while the man kneels on the lowercase. Both  face the stairs while the woman's behind locks with the man's groin. The man holds her hips to penetrate her from behind as she reaches up to stairs or the banister.

 

• Profound Impact- The fact that the position requires the woman to prop her legs makes it most preferred for men who like going as deep as they can. The woman gets on her side and lifts one of her legs while the man straddles the other. The man should kneel and make her discover the hidden spots in her. On trying this position, you will enjoy not only the relaxation but also the easy access to the clitoris.

The extensive list proves that sexual positions could be varied to offer new and more refreshing outcomes. A relentless mind and a go-getter mentality would be critical in attempting these techniques. Nevertheless, numerous trials and practice are a sure course to perfection.

 

hapter 3.       The Differences Between Male and Female Orgasm

The orgasm is the culmination of a sexual relationship, a climax that produces a pleasant feeling of a sudden release of accumulated tension from the moment when the excitement phase begins. It is at that moment that a series of intense muscle spasms are generated that are highly pleasing, which helps the release of endorphins that occurs simultaneously.

Women experience orgasm in different ways, but usually, this is characterized by the fact that the acceleration of heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure reach their highest level and the vagina, uterus, anus, and muscles Pelvic bones contract between five and ten times at intervals of less than one second. However, some women may feel orgasm throughout their body and even multiple orgasms.

In the case of men, we must bear in mind that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same. You can ejaculate without experiencing orgasm. As in women, with orgasm, heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure are accelerated to the maximum, and muscle contractions occur in the pelvic area, as well as the prostate and seminal vesicles to produce the expulsion of the semen.

The orgasm lasts only a few moments and then enters what is known as the resolution phase in which there is a general relaxation of the whole body, normalization of blood circulation and breathing, and with it a feeling of great placidity, tiredness, and even drowsiness.

 

The lack of control over ejaculation, as in the case of premature ejaculation, can make a man unable to reach orgasm. Similarly, many women confess not to reach it regularly and even never (anorgasmia). It is very important that the couple talks about it because experimentation and information can improve their sexual practice and learn to control ejaculation in the case of men and enhance their excitement in the woman. Couples therapy can be a good option to solve this sexual dysfunction.

How Are Male and Female Orgasms Different? The female orgasm

Contractions start at 0.8-second intervals and their number can vary greatly, decreasing after intensity, duration, and  frequency.  More than a localized response in the pelvis, it is a total response of the organism. Imagination is directly related to orgasm; the brain has a lot to do with it. With the penetration, the entire vulvar pyramid is mobilized synchronously, and the G-spot and the clitoris are stimulated. Every woman has the physical ability to experience orgasms.

These are the symptoms of female orgasm: Greater increase in heart rate.

Increase in breathing Increase in blood pressure.

The subjective sensation of the explosion of pleasure. Contraction of the uterus.

Contraction of the orgasmic platform.

 

After the orgasm, there would be a recovery in the woman prior to the excitement. Although if it is restimulated before the sexual tension decreases, the woman is able to present several successive orgasms.

The Female Orgasm:  Keys to Reach It

The female orgasm is not only achieved through penetration. It is highly recommended to explore the female body to discover erogenous zones that facilitate the task. In the case of sexual intercourse, preliminaries, oral sex, and other pleasurable practices can be the perfect vehicle to achieve an unforgettable orgasm. Meanwhile, it is also essential:

That your partner knows how to "work" better to "play" and experience things with you

to know oneself through self-exploration. So, if you want to enjoy your body and your areas of pleasure, try one of these useful toys.

Physical manifestations of female orgasm During orgasm:

the clitoris retracts,

the vagina, the perineum and the uterus contract due to shaking the nipples harden

the heart accelerates the blood vessels dilate.

Everything is stimulated during this supreme pleasure with which women (and men, in their case) go mad. And it is normal because the orgasm involves secretion of endorphins, the molecule of happiness, which provides a feeling of unequalled well-being.

 

How to achieve a female orgasm

In general, most women achieve orgasm when they stimulate sexual areas alone or in pairs:

Preliminary caresses: activate your brain preparing for the  moment of intercourse. These movements increase the pleasure much more and reach orgasm before.

cunnilingus: is one of the techniques that most excites women and that will favour that if you have anorgasmia you can get to reach orgasm.

masturbation: whether you do it yourself or your partner will get the genital area excited more easily.

penetration: through the penis the woman also reach orgasm. It is one of the most essential parts that lead us to intercourse, to the female orgasm, and also to the ejaculation of man.

But the best way to reach orgasm is knowing the body of one. We have different erogenous points that are able to make us feel in the seventh heaven, but you have to find them!

The solution: start in the discovery of the body: alone or as a couple,

with sexual toys

without them, to detect the most moving areas. Different female orgasms

Vaginal orgasm: is achieved by stimulation of the Gräfenberg  point or more commonly called "G-spot", located about 4 cm from the entrance of the vagina. It has a ball shape of less than one centimetre and increases in size with stimulation. It is located next to

 

the bladder, so it is not strange that after a vaginal female orgasm we feel like going to the bathroom. To sensitize, stimulate it regularly with gentle and repeated pressures with the point of the finger or with the help of a sex toy. Try these toys if you want to get an incredible vaginal orgasm:

Massager vibrator with 30 different modes.

Chinese vibrating silicone balls with remote control. Vibrator with heat effect for women.

Clitoral orgasm: is achieved by stimulation of the clitoris. That is a small button located between the lips, anterior to the vagina. It is accessed very easily. It is very sensitive. You can reach orgasm with delicate caresses. Here we leave you a few positions that will facilitate the pleasant task. These are the best sex toys to stimulate the clitoris:

Satisfier Pro, clitoral sniffer.

Clitoral massager with cunnilingus effect. Vibrator clitoris massager.

The female orgasm, in figures

Clitorian orgasm: according to a study 95% of women come to him through masturbation and less than half, 45% share it with the male penis.

The vaginal orgasm: there are few women who manage to reach this orgasm. Only 30% have the pleasure of experiencing such pleasure. Although we all have a G-spot, we have to get "wake up" with multiple movements in this area. For this, there are positions that favour it: the missionary, with the legs of the woman on the back of

 

the man or the greyhound, with which a deep penetration is facilitated.

Female multiorgasm is possible

Although for some it is only a fantasy, the truth is that multiorgasm exists and is easier to achieve than it seems. The key is in:

know your own body, know what is possible put our mind on it,

lengthen the sexual climax (many times we do not achieve it because our partner lasts less than we would like),

go changing stimuli and erogenous zones choose postures that really work with us The Male Orgasm

There are between 3 and 10 contractions with an interval of 8 tenths of a second between each one, depending on how intense the response is. This means that an orgasm lasts on average between 4 and 8 seconds. Man experiences this physiological reaction as a wave of pleasurable sensations.

These are the symptoms of male orgasm: Contraction of the penis, urethra, and sphincter. Expulsion of semen abroad.

After the orgasm, in man, there would be the recovery of the state prior to the excitement and the refractory period would begin, by which the man will not be aroused again after some time, something that can vary according to each person.

 

The Male Orgasm:  Keys to Reach It

Orgasms during sex are better than during masturbation.

Orgasms during sex are significantly better than those  experienced in solitude through masturbation.

Ejaculating usually reduces the risk of cancer

Men who ejaculated more frequently (about 21 times a month) reduced their risk of prostate cancer by 20 %. This benefit is since during the orgasm, different hormones are released, such as oxytocin (known as lowering blood pressure, for example).

Is there a "dry" orgasm?

Yes. The dry orgasm or retrograde orgasm occurs when the man reaches the sexual climax but without ejaculation since the semen instead of being expelled by the penis stays inside the bladder due to a malfunction of the muscle. This type of orgasm is more common among preadolescent children than in adults.

The male and female orgasms are more similar than it seems

Despite the difference in orgasm between men and women, there is no variation between the duration and intensity of  orgasm concerning sex. What does offer opposition is that the orgasms are different in each person and can be divided into two main types: the usual orgasm, the most common, consisting of about 6-15 high- intensity contractions for about 20-30 seconds or orgasm prolonged, in which regular contractions are experienced after the initial orgasm, which can last between 30 and 90 seconds.

Male ejaculation is as fast as ...

 

The average speed of a man's ejaculation is 45 kilometres per hour. Taking into account that Usain Bolt runner holds the record of 44.72 kilometres per hour, the rate of ejaculation is faster than the fastest man on the face of the Earth.

Men can have multiple orgasms

Most men who can achieve multiple orgasms need at least a refractory period of 30 minutes between each sexual activity. However, some men can reach orgasm without ejaculation, as in the case of dry orgasm. According to experts, the key to achieving this is training.

The Male Organs

Building an impressive performance in bed is like grooming a movie star. It always starts with the talent. You get to know him, his strengths and weaknesses, as well as what gets him excited, what makes him tick, and of course, what he’s made of.

So, gentlemen, we start by getting relatively familiar with the star of the show, the reproductive system.

Many, if not all, adolescent boys only recognize the two external parts of the reproductive system, which are the penis and the scrotum. This is understandable as these two parts alone can give you the pleasure most desired. However, hidden inside the male genitalia are a series of complex mechanisms that contribute to the overall well-being and overall ecstasy derived from sex.

The penile head is the seat of sexual pleasure, as is the clitoris in women. Its shaft is made up of spongy material and filled with blood during sexual stimulation that it enlarges and becomes rigid. It is the main tool by which a male is to deliver his sperm to a female.

 

At the root of the penis hangs the scrotum. It houses the testes, where the factory for sperm production is found—a man’s genetic heritage. This is connected to a set of tubules where the immature sperm stay for approximately 20 days before they are  mature enough to travel forth.

The sperm is otherwise known as the gamete or male sex cell. Each testicle is capable of producing at least 4 million brand new sperm every single hour! The testicles or testes hang outside of the body for a very good reason. For sperm to develop normally, they must be kept at a temperature that is approximately two degrees cooler than body temperature. It can take between four and six weeks before sperm matures and they do this while they are traveling from the testes to the to a tube that is coiled on the outside of the testes, known as the epididymis. Sperm is often called tadpoles because that’s what they look like and the use their little tails to propel themselves while the head of each sperm is where the genetic material is housed.

The main character, of course, always has his support staff—the accessory glands. Their role is to produce the semen, where the sperm is mixed in. They activate the little tadpoles, giving them nutrition to travel through the acidic environment of a woman’s body.

When sexually stimulated, an initial release of a thick, clear mucus- like substance is made from the male organ’s supporting staff.  This is to cleanse the passageway of any remnants of acidic urine. The passageway of urine and sperm converge into only one duct. The passage of urine and semen, however, cannot happen at the same time.   There is a valve regulating the entrance to the duct such   that

 

during intercourse, it prevents the entrance of urine. The same is true during urination.  The entrance releasing the sperm is closed.

Shortly thereafter, a series of wave-like movements and muscle contractions occur to propel the vitamin C-filled semen into the ejaculatory tubes, where soon, they find their release into their promised land.

How this happens is that smooth muscles start to contract during sex and push the mature sperm from the epididymis through the vas deferens, a long tube inside the body, just underneath your bladder. The sperm is them mixed up with a fluid from the seminal vesicles, full of nutrients, and a milky secretion that comes from the prostate gland. Mixed together, this is what we call semen and that is responsible for doing three things:

Providing an environment of watery fluid for the sperm to swim in once they exit the body

Providing the necessary nutrients for the sperm – vitamin C, amino acid, and fructose

Protecting the sperm by neutralizing the acids that are found in the usual tract in the receiving female

As soon as the semen has been made, it will pass through your urethra, inside the penis, and exit the body through the tiny slit at the top of the penis in the process we all know as ejaculation. On average, one ejaculate will contain about one teaspoon of this seminal fluid and only one percent of that will be sperm itself.

This release of steaming hot sexual tension cannot be done, however, without the act of sex itself—or the simulation of it. This entails   the   penetration   of   the   penis   into   the   vagina, position

 

notwithstanding. Friction is then created to build up tension which results in an orgasm.

The superstar is healthy and in good shape. All that is needed now is an effective supporting star to give that ultimate performance: the pubococcygeal muscle or PC muscle.

This muscle located in the pelvic floor of the human hip appears to be a sheet hanging from the pubic bone to the tail bone. It controls the sphincters, or the valve which releases or holds in the urine or feces, during urination and defecation. When in good shape, this muscle contracts to enhance sensations while having intercourse.

The PC muscle is the muscle that you squeeze while running to the restroom when your bladder is full. To identify the muscle, stop the flow of your urine midstream. The muscle you contract to do this is your PC muscle. Furthermore, you may touch the star when you insert your finger into your anus, feeling around the sphincter as you contract the muscle.

A healthy package, an efficient supporting staff, and a competent actor will ensure that you are well on your way to last longer in bed.

 

hapter 4.       Couple Sex for A Pregnant Woman

When women are pregnant, typically, their sex drive increases. This can be a bit of a problem the farther into the pregnancy the female is. Finding a position that is comfortable can seem impossible. Obviously, not everyone will work for every person, but it will give you a look at some positions that you can use that will help keep everybody comfortable and ensure that orgasms continue to happen throughout the entire pregnancy.

There are definitely some positions that you should avoid. The missionary position may be OK during the 1st trimester; however, after that, it should be avoided. With the man on top, it puts a lot of pressure on the woman and comma intern comma the baby. Additionally, positions where the woman is lying on her stomach should be avoided. They are oftentimes uncomfortable and could lead to some problems.

It is important to note that you should check with your doctor and make sure that having sex is OK. Some pregnancies will require that the couple avoids sexual intercourse during some or all of the gestation. Naturally, following your doctor's orders is the best thing to do. It will make sure that both the mother and the baby are safe.

For couples that like to experiment, pregnancy can be the perfect time to do so. As long as both people are comfortable, just about any position will be OK. Keep in mind there are definitely positions that are going to be better for the female when she is farther into her pregnancy.

 

Having sex from behind, like in the doggie style position, is going to work very well. You can use pillows to support the woman's stomach, or the man can even hold on to her to add additional support. Keeping her stomach supported as she will be very important. It will help to keep her comfortable so that she can truly enjoy the sexual pleasure her partner is providing her.

The doggie style position is best suited for the first 2 trimesters. By the time she reaches the 3rd trimester, her stomach will be quite extended, and being on all fours will likely become uncomfortable. So, you will want to utilize this position as long as you can. Keep in mind comma the adding pillows for extra support can make it possible to do this position while she is in her 3rd trimester. You will simply need to keep open lines of communication to make sure that she is comfortable and that there is not too much pressure on her belly or her bladder.

Another great position or positions to use during the 1st and 2nd trimester are positions where the female is on top. Hitting all the right spots in the vagina is easy when the female is in control. Many pregnant women find that deep penetration becomes uncomfortable during their 3rd trimester. This means that the female on top may not be the best. We say this because it leads to exceptionally deep penetration; However, because the female will be in control when she is on top, she actually can limit the amount of penetration, making it possible to use these positions even in the 3rd trimester.

The standard spooning sex position is going to be fantastic for every phase of pregnancy. It offers a high level of intimacy, which is great when your female's emotions get a bit out of control. Additionally, it is going to work well, even when her belly is quite large. She won't

 

have much pressure put on her, which will allow her to be present at the moment and truly enjoy the interaction between her  and her lover.

There are a lot of variations to the spooning position. When she is exceptionally pregnant, sticking to the standard spooning position is most advantageous. It will definitely help to keep her more comfortable and allow both parties to enjoy sexual interaction without pain, discomfort, or distraction.

Reverse cowgirl is another position that is great for pregnant women. It can be used throughout the entire pregnancy quite easily. This position works during the last trimester because her sensitive stomach won’t be coming into contact with anything. Additionally, she will have a good amount of control, so if deep penetration is painful, it can easily be avoided.

In the reverse cowgirl position, the man usually has his legs stretched out in front of him. If your female is pregnant, have the man bend his knees. She will then be able to support herself on them, which can make things a lot easier. Also, if she is tiring out quickly, he can help support her butt and take over some of the motion of this position. It is quite versatile and typically stays comfortable throughout an entire pregnancy.

Standing positions can also workout fairly well, depending on the woman. Pretty much everyone will be able to continue withstanding positions through the first two trimesters. Once the female enters into the 3rd trimester, her tummy will become heavy, and it may be difficult for her to maintain this position. If you find that standing positions are the most pleasurable for your female counterpart,    you

 

can absolutely throw in a few minutes of it at the end of a sex session.

it is important to note that frequently standing positions will incorporate something for the lady to stand on so that you can easily combat major height variances. If you are having sex in a standing position and your partner is pregnant, you should avoid this. Obviously, keeping your pregnant female safe is the number one goal. Standing on something like a chair could lead to a fall or a spill that should absolutely be avoided, so if you cannot get into a comfortable standing position without a chair or other surface, they should realistically be avoided until after she has given birth.

There is a position commonly referred to as the floating pregnancy position. It can be great during the late part of pregnancy. You  have to remember that when a female is near the end of gestation, it is likely that her libido will be lower than normal. She is going to be uncomfortable and simply ready to have the baby outside of her body. This position may not lead to orgasm, but it can be a sensual time that is very comforting for her.

To accomplish the floating pregnancy position, the man will lie flat on his back with his knees bent so that they are facing the ceiling. The woman will straddle the man, and her feet will be out in front of her. This is going to provide her with the best level of comfort. From there, the motion will mostly be grinding. You will be able to see each other, and both sets of hands should be free. She may be using one or both to help keep balance in this position. If that is the case, no big deal, as the man’s hands will be free. He can stimulate her clitorally as long as she isn’t too sensitive, and the connection between the two will be enhanced.

 

There is one small problem with this position. It can lead to exceptionally deep levels of penetration, which can be painful to a pregnant woman. If you find that the penetration level is too deep, it can be adjusted quite easily. If the man draws his knees together, he will not be able to insert himself as far into the female. This should relieve some of the pressure and comma, in turn, make it less painful for a pregnant female.

Any sexual position that puts your female on her side is going to work out well. This is especially true at the end of her pregnancy. When a woman lays on her side, her belly has the support of whatever is underneath her. Obviously, this is going to make things more comfortable. She won't experience as much pressure and comma in turn. She shouldn't experience any pain.

So, regardless of the side position that you prefer, they should absolutely be utilized. You may need to make some tweaks to accommodate her growing belly, but this is simple enough to do. You certainly want to keep lines of communication open so that if she is feeling uncomfortable in any way, the action can stop.

you should also talk to your female counterpart to see what you can do to make her feel more comfortable. More often than not, it's all going to be about supporting her belly and keeping pressure off of it. If there are ways or positions that work better, stick to them. You need to be able to roll with the punches and let her take control. In the beginning months of pregnancy, your sex life will likely be pretty normal. It won't be until her belly starts to get large that you run into problems. Don't get frustrated; just keep trying things until you find the perfect fit to ensure that you can both enjoy each other intimately and comfortably.

 

Oral sex will always be a great go-to when your female partner is pregnant. Regardless of what trimester she is in, she will be able to participate in this without the worry of pain or excessive. So, guys, even if it is not your favourite thing to do, you should up your oral game when your lady is pregnant. She will absolutely appreciate it, and it will allow her to attain orgasms throughout her entire pregnancy in a way that is comfortable.

Anal sex is actually a really good thing to do during pregnancy, as well. If your female is into anal pleasure, it can be just the thing when she is feeling exceptionally sensitive in her vagina. Keep in mind that if you and your partner are going to have anal sex during pregnancy, it will probably take a bit longer than normal. You may usually only spend five or ten minutes warming up the area before attempting penetration. When a woman is pregnant, everything is going to be more sensitive and take more time. So, when entering into anal play with your pregnant female, you should intend on spending fifteen or twenty minutes warming her up.

It is always important to remember that whether you are stimulating her anally with your tongue, fingers, a toy, or your penis that you should never go from her anus to her vagina. This is insanely important during pregnancy. You do not want to introduce bacteria from her anus to her vagina; it can lead to a plethora of problems for both the mother and the baby. All you need to remember is to wash up after any sort of anal play, and everyone will be safe and ready to move on to whatever sexual stimulation is wanted afterward.

There may be a point in your partner's pregnancy that sex of any sort is completely uncomfortable. This can be a bit of a burden, especially if both parties are feeling aroused. If you are both    feeling

 

aroused, but intercourse is not possible, there are other things that you can do. Obviously, comma, the man will be able to easily provide his woman with oral stimulation, but he has to keep in mind that it may be difficult for her to find a comfortable position to reciprocate this.

There are some other things that you can do to satisfy your sexual desires, even when intercourse is not possible, as well. Using sex toys on each other can be a great option. Your female may not be able to take the pressure of intercourse, but she can more than likely handle clitoral stimulation. So, breaking out the toy box and finding her favourite vibrator can be the perfect way to go. As you stimulate her with a sex toy, you can also stimulate yourself. This can be extremely erotic and lead you both to orgasm quite easily.

Another thing that you can try is mutual masturbation. Watching each other as you self-stimulate can be extremely intimate and erotic. It should allow both of you to reach climax in a way that is comfortable for your pregnant female. It won't put any pressure on her, and you will both be able to share a good level of intimacy while working on attaining orgasm.

Keep in mind that your female's emotional levels will be increased while she is pregnant due to the hormones that are coursing through her body. so, using positions that are intimate and sensual can truly work in your favour. She is going to want to connect to you on a deep level, so using positions where you are facing each other,  and a lot of body contact as possible will be advantageous.

One last thought for the men that are dealing with a pregnant female be patient. What she wants this minute could change the next.   With

 

patience comes understanding, and that is exactly what  she will need while carrying a baby. Intercourse is not off the table unless she says that it is, in which case you will need to handle your own business. Don’t worry. Her sex drive will come back after the baby is born; it just takes time.

 

hapter 5.       Tips to Overcome Anxiety and Insecurity

Worries, we all have them, and while we deal with them on our own most of the time as we go about our daily routine, the bedroom is a different matter. Anxiety and insecurity are not going to affect you alone. It’s going to hurt your partner too and kill the intimacy of the moment. Worrying about your performance in bed is stopping you actually from performing. Why? Because you’re distracted. You’re too busy caught up in your own worries that you’re completely missing everything else that is going on. You're not present in the moment, and when that happens, you’re missing out on the opportunity to interact and bond with your partner.

Yet, despite this, many people still continue to worry anyway. It’s almost as if they can’t find the off switch in their brain, and the worries only seem to get worse each time they feel like they have failed to live up to expectation. Negative thoughts start to creep into your mind and make you wonder if you really are as awful as you thought and what your partner is going to think. Performance anxiety is real, and it happens each time you catastrophize situations that may or may not be real. Within the sexual context, performance anxiety happens when you’re worried about failing to perform sexually and start to visualize all sorts of catastrophic and disastrous consequences that are going to happen (even though they have not and may not happen).

Why do we worry so much? Why do we firmly hold onto the belief that a man must have hard, strong erections that last a long time to be  considered  good  in  bed?  Why  do  we  firmly  believe  that  if a

 

woman can’t achieve an orgasm with every sexual experience, there must be something wrong with her? Where are these expectations coming from? Do you really believe they make you any less of a man or woman if you fail to achieve either of these? Most of the time, when you experience sexual performance anxiety, you’re not  afraid of your own shortcomings. You are more concerned about what others may think. In this case, your partner. You’re so afraid that your partner is not going to be attracted to you, or think you’re sexy anymore, or worse, find someone else because you failed to live up to their sexual expectations.

We are all human, but we forget that. What is supposed to be a meaningful, loving, intimate moment for two people to connect suddenly becomes full of pressure, stress, and anxiety. So much so that instead of growing closer to your partner, you end up pushing each other away. You’re not a machine; you’re human. You have feelings, you think, you desire, you sense, and your body sometimes your body does not always do what you think it will. Anxiety and insecurity make us forget all that because our worries seem larger than life. Nothing else matters at that moment, and eventually your worries are going to grow so big you shy away from any sexual encounters altogether. It is not the end of the world if a man can’t maintain his erection for long or if a woman can’t get aroused enough. It is not a big deal if a man ejaculates prematurely at times, or a woman can’t achieve an orgasm. It happens. We all feel anxious and stressed sometimes. Look at the lives we lead. There’s a lot going on and a lot to deal with, and anxiety can be a debilitating condition that negatively permeates all the other aspects of our lives if we don’t keep it under control.

 

Sexual performance anxiety is going to:

Affect Your Self-Confidence – Would you want someone to see you naked if you were insecure? Probably not and getting intimate with them is going to be the last thing on your mind. The prospect of intercourse when you’re feeling insecure is daunting; even worse, when you’re trying it for the first time with a new partner, you may not know all that well yet.

Diminishes Libido – Even during a non-sexual moment, when you’ve got a major worry on your mind, it’s all you can think about. In the bedroom, that worry is going to diminish your libido. To be clear, a “normal” libido does not exist. Everyone has a different experience, but when you add anxiety and insecurity into the mix, your sex drive is going to take a hit, and it might be impossible to even  feel aroused.

Cause Vaginismus – Anxiety can lead to all sorts of other symptoms. From sweating, panic attacks, and heart palpitations, anxiety is real, and it manifests itself physically. A man dealing with anxiety might deal with erectile dysfunction. A woman dealing with anxiety might deal with vaginismus, which is a sexual dysfunction where your pelvic muscles tighten involuntarily, literally stopping you from having sex.

Numbing Your Orgasms and Sensations – Orgasms among women happen only 57% of the time with their partner. A man’s orgasm happens 95% of the time. If you’re stressed and anxious? It might not happen at all. You’re not even going to enjoy being touched intimately by your partner when you’re too busy worrying about what they think or how you’re doing.

 

What Can I Do to Overcome This?

The first thing you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself. You are perfect the way that you are, and you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Worrying will never bring any good. It won’t change anything for the better, but it will make things worse. The occasional worry every now and then is normal, and if you are dealing with anxiety and insecurity, you need to talk to your partner about it, so they know where you’re coming from. It takes two to tango in sex, and two people can’t expect to be in sync if they are on completely different pages. Talk to your partner and let them now this is what you’re going through. Help them understand, let them know you’re trying to work through it, and what they can do to help.

As for what you can do to help yourself, you can begin by not defining how good you are based on whether you can achieve an orgasm or not. Or whether you can help your partner achieve an orgasm. They are not the be-all and end-all of sex. You and your partner are more than your orgasms, and you need to respect yourself and each other as human beings. The beauty of being human is there is no such thing as perfection, but life and its experiences can be beautiful regardless.

Calm your anxious thoughts by taking a deep breath. Focus on your breathing and challenge your thoughts by asking yourself, why am I worried? Is there a genuine cause for concern? Or are your worries based on assumptions and scenarios you think are going to happen? Do you have any proof? If you can’t answer yes to any of these questions, keep breathing and tell yourself it’s going to  be okay, count to five and give yourself all the time you need to come down.

 

Focus instead on what you can control to improve your sexual experience.

You don’t have to worry about whether you’re “good” or “bad” in bed. There’s no performance rating here, and you’re only placing unnecessary pressure on yourself when you try to rate your own performance. What matters more is the experience you are sharing right now with a partner you love and care about. Any kind of pleasure is great because you’re doing it with the one that you love.

Sex Positions to Overcome Anxiety in Bed

Anxiety is not going to magically vanish overnight, but in the meantime, your sex life doesn’t have to pay the price. It may take a while before you can fully overcome your nerves and anxiety in bed, so while you work on getting there, these positions help make minimize the stress so you can focus on the pleasure of being connected with your partner instead.

Banana Split Position

This yummy dessert is the name of an equally delicious sex position, and it is a good one to try if you’re with a new partner for the first time and not ready for them to see the “sex face” you make in bed. The woman turns around and lies on her belly, so you’re facing away from your partner and free to make any kind of face you want. Be free and expressive. Imagine that no one is watching. Your partner can see your face anyway, and that gives a sense of “privacy” somewhat during sex, which might help soothe your anxious nerves. It’s a win-win for both partners, and the deep penetration you get from this angle is only going to heighten the pleasure. The woman will wrap her legs around the man while she is lying face down in this

 

position. Men who like going at it from the back are going to love this position because they’ll be free to smack, grab, or squeeze the woman’s buttocks with each thrust.

Rocking Lullaby Position

A sexually narcotic experience can be achieved in this position that there is no way either partner can feel bad about themselves when they are too consumed with the pleasure they feel. Both the man and woman begin by facing each other on their side. The woman then uses one leg to wrap around the man and instead of thrusting, grab the man’s butt, back, or shoulders and then rock him against her body. Both partners can take turns rocking each other, and when they’re ready, the man penetrates the woman while carrying on in this rocking motion. Being this close to someone face to face and connecting with your bodies before your genitals first help bring the focus to the intimacy aspect of the experience.

Heart Connection Position

The woman will kneel on the man’s lap in this position, with her legs positioned on either side of his. With slow, controlled moves, look into each other eyes, and synchronize your breath as you move together in unison. Take your time building up to the moment when you feel connected as one. You will know when it happens. Gazing into your partner's eyes is an intense experience. You’re looking into each other’s soul and communicating all the love you have for each other through your eye contact. Nothing else matters at this moment expect to gaze into your partner’s eyes. Let the intensity of your passion build as you rock together as one.

Primal Scream

 

Put your insecurities about being bad to be with the Primal Scream position. Maybe not scream literally (unless you want to, or it happens at the moment) but moan your partner’s name as loud as you can so both of you can reach that deep, primal place within yourselves. The woman will be positioned on all fours with this one like the Doggy style, but this time her back is going to be arched so her buttocks will be tilted upwards, making it even more primal and animalistic. As for the man, go deep and embrace your inner animal.

Duck and Cover Position

The man will be on his knees in this position as he sits back on his feet. The woman will be in front of him. She will position herself in the classic duck and cover pose, which will allow her to ride the man by moving her hips. The penetration in this position is insanely deep, and the “cover” part of this position gives a sense of “escape”. For that moment, you can imagine you’re escaping all your worries as you surrender to the pleasure of feeling your partner so deep within you.

 

hapter 6.       Sexual Fantasies and Fetishism

What is a Sexual Fantasy?

A sexual fantasy is something that a person imagines or dreams of doing or taking part in. This fantasy is of a sexual nature as it usually will involve something you would not regularly have the chance to do. For example, it could be something like having sex with  a teacher as their student. In this case, this is not something you would likely do, but you fantasize about doing it as it arouses you.

What Is a Fetish and What Is a Kink?

The lines between Kink and Fetish can blur, as the level and degree to which you enjoy something sexually can vary greatly. The things that turn people on are different for every individual and every couple, and so the definitions of kink and fetish must be somewhat flexible as well.

A kink is something that arouses you that is not considered to be the norm in your sexual culture. What is considered a kink can vary from culture to culture and between different eras in time. The terms kink and BDSM can be used somewhat interchangeably these days. Kink generally includes some type of power dynamic and dominance versus submission element. Kink is the opposite of vanilla or basic sex.

Fetishes are different than kinks in that the fetish will be more prominent to you in your arousal and pleasure. The fetish will often be more important than the person that is helping you to carry out your fetish. What this means is that a sexual fetish is a sexual attraction to an object or a body part that would not normally be

 

associated with sexual pleasure, and this becomes a bigger focus in many cases than the partner themselves do. A fetish is required to be played out in one’s sexual encounters in order for them to get off and even become aroused in some cases.

Oftentimes, you will see the terms kink and fetish used interchangeably, and this is because it all depends to what degree a person enjoys something.

How to Discover Your Sexual Fantasies and Fetishes

You are now aware of what sexual fantasies and fetishes are, but you may now be wondering if you have any personally. Everyone has sexual acts or themes that turn them on, but you must get in touch with this part of yourself in order to find out what your personal ones are. We are going to look at how you can discover your sexual fantasies and fetishes.

First, though, we will look at some specific types of sexual fantasies so that you can get an idea of what you are looking to discover. Under the umbrella of sexual fantasies is included the following, among others.

• Roleplay

If your sexual fantasy or kink is role playing, you likely become aroused when you imagine playing a certain role in the bedroom with your partner like a homeowner, and he is a plumber coming to fix your pipes.

•

Domination and Submission

 

If your kink or fetish is domination and submission, you  likely become turned on by playing a certain role in bed- either being dominated by your partner or being dominant over them.

•

Specific Sexual Acts

Your kink could also be related to specific sexual acts. These can include spanking, hair pulling or Piss Play.

There are so many things that can be included in these categories and so many more categories of their own. Many categories will overlap and cross over each other. For example, a police and convict role play fantasy could cross over into domination and submission play as well. By getting an idea of what is out there, you can begin to explore what you like the idea of and what you don’t like sexually.

Look Inward

The first part of determining anything about yourself is to look inward and get in touch with your inner thoughts, feelings, and desires. If you are not used to looking inward and examining your feelings, it may take some practice and getting used to before you are able to determine what your fantasies, kinks or fetishes are. In order to  get in touch with your feelings and thoughts, set aside some time to get quiet with your own mind.

Start to begin letting yourself fantasize about sex in general and see where this takes you. The main thing here is to let your mind go wherever it goes without trying to control it. By allowing it to drift anywhere and everywhere, you can begin to see what lies hidden in your subconscious mind.

 

Avoid Self-Judgement

Self-judgement can sometimes creep in when you become sexually aroused by something that is deemed unacceptable in society. When you have a sexual fantasy, it is important to remember that there need not be any shame involved- having a specific sexual fantasy does not mean that you would actually act it out in real life. Because of this, you can put your self-judgments aside and enjoy your fantasy without thinking of yourself as some sort of deviant.

Masturbation

As you are giving yourself a quiet moment to explore your mind and your desires, you may find yourself becoming sexually aroused. This is great, as it means that you have found some things that are sexually exciting to you. As this happens, you can begin to touch yourself if you wish. Masturbation is a healthy part of anybody’s sex life, and there is no shame in this either.

As you begin touching yourself, allow your mind to explore your sexual fantasies, kinks, and fetishes more deeply as you become aroused. By doing this, you will be much more able to let your subconscious take over you. This is where your desires and your deeper wishes are held. Most of the time, these remain in your subconscious unbeknownst to you. It is only when you are able to access this part of your mind that you can become aware of what lies there. By doing this, you allow yourself to unlock a different level of sexual adventure and exploration. This is something you can then share with your partner, and they can begin to know you on a much deeper level.

Research

 

As I stated earlier, you may not even know what sexual fantasies and fetishes are out there. By doing a little bit of research, you can figure out what is out there, what is encompassed by these terms, and what you specifically find pleasure in.

You can do research in different ways. You could explore different articles on the internet of The Most Common Sexual Fantasies or Stories of the Weirdest Sexual Fetishes. You could also look at different types of porn as there is an unlimited amount of porn available on the Internet, and within this, there is a wide array of fantasies and fetishes included. The one thing to keep in mind when looking at porn is you want to make sure you are not taking the sex you see in porn as reality. While the ideas of fantasies and fetishes can be informative to you, porn can also set unrealistic expectations for viewers related to things such as average penis size or breast size as well as how to please a woman. As long as you keep this in mind, porn can be a useful tool for exploring kinks and fetishes you never knew existed.

Even if you only find out what you are not interested in sexually, this research will still have proven to be informative.

Talk to People

Talking to your friends or people who you meet that are open about their sex lives can be another great source of information for you. The benefit to this as well is it can give you a more realistic view of these things than you may be able to find on the Internet.

You could begin by asking people about their sexual fantasies, or if they are aware of them at all. You can ask them also if they have shared these with their partners. By initiating a conversation like this,

 

you can learn a lot about other people and their sexual fantasies or kinks.

Once you have begun to explore your sexual fantasies, kinks, and fetishes, you will be able to begin exploring them. Exploring your fetishes is a lifelong process, as your likes and desires may change over time. Once you have found out how to be in touch with this part of yourself, you can continue to let it enlighten your sex life forever.

How to Discuss Your Fetishes with Your Partner

It may seem quite intimidating opening up to your partner about your kinks or fetishes or even your sexual fantasies as they are very personal to you. You may fear judgment or disgust, and you may fear that your partner will not be interested in taking part in your sexual fantasies or fetishes. I will guide you through how you can discuss these things with your partner in an open and honest way without shame or fear.

You may be self-conscious about what turns you on and unsure of how your partner will feel about it. If you have been in this relationship for a while now and you still have not discussed these with your partner, your anxiety about bringing them up has likely only increased with time.

At the beginning of a relationship, you may be hesitant to bring up things that please you that you deem unusual or not-so-vanilla. This is completely understandable, and we will discuss how to bring these topics up in conversation, regardless of how long you have been in your current relationship or marriage. The other reason could be you have just recently discovered a new kink, and that is okay as well.   If

 

you have never acted on them before, talking to your partner about trying them can be done as a conversation about mutual exploration.

Keep in mind that many of us think our kinks are odd and embarrassing, but they are probably not as off the wall as you think they are. Fetishes may also be embarrassing to discuss, but if you are so into a certain thing that you require it in order to be pleased, your partner will surely be interested. As your partner, they are invested in your pleasure and should always be wondering how best to please you.

So how do you initiate a conversation about your kinks or fetishes with your partner or spouse? The key is entering the conversation with the intention of not only explaining to them your own desires, but of listening to and understanding your partner’s kinks and fetishes as well.

Begin by asking your partner if there is anything, they have been interested in trying in the bedroom, or if there is anything new, they have wanted to explore sexually with you. This will initiate an open dialogue about sex and desires in general. Listen with an open mind. Your partner may be into something that you are also into!

Next, they will likely ask you the same question back. Explain to them that you have wanted to try something new in your sex life with them. Explain to them what it is and how it makes you feel. Maybe you have explored this in a past relationship, and maybe that is where you first discovered this specific thing that turns you on. Maybe you have never tried it with someone else, and you would like to begin exploring it with them.

 

If this person loves you, they care about your pleasure. Even if they may have reservations about trying something new, they are likely to be open to giving it a shot for you. Be open to exploring your kink or fetish at a beginner level if your partner has never tried it before. Sex is all about comfort and pleasure and as long as you are both feeling these two things, preferably by meeting in the middle, a good time is sure to be had by all.

When explaining your kink to them, be sure to explain how it makes you feel and how it could make them feel. Explain what exactly you enjoy about it. Explain how exactly you enjoy it and what role you like to take in it. Do you like to be the dominant one? The submissive one? Allow them to ask questions and be curious. the ability to have an open conversation about sex in a relationship is essential to having a positively evolving sex life as your relationship grows and progresses. You want your sex life to grow and change along with the both of you.

We will now look at an example of this and how this conversation may go for you, in order for you to feel more secure when bringing this up. For example, say your kink is rough sex. You and your partner may have been having soft, gentle, and loving sex up until this point because you know that’s what they like, but you have learned through a past relationship that you love rough sex. You may not have tried this or brought it up in conversation before because you were afraid that your partner would have been turned off or afraid. In order to bring this up to them in conversation, you can begin by saying something like, “I used to get very turned on by having rough sex, and I would like to try it with you.”

How to Try New Fantasies and Fetishes for the First Time

 

When talking to your partner about your fetishes, they will likely be open-minded and willing to try it with you. This is great! In order to do this for the first time, there will be some things to keep in mind.

New Fantasy, Kink, or Fetish for Both People

If you have just discovered a new fetish or a new kink you wish to try and you have discussed this with your partner, you can now begin to introduce this into your sex life. The positive thing about neither of you having done it before is it can be an experience you share with one another. By doing this, you can both evaluate as you go and decide what you like and what you dislike.

For example, if you are wishing to try out a role play, you can begin by getting into the roles and using dirty talk as your characters, while ensuring you have a safe word to use just in case  someone becomes uncomfortable. A safe word is a predetermined word you or your partner can say when one of you wishes to put the play aside and become yourselves for a time. You can use this to tell your partner you wish to stop, to change something or to tell them something out of character. This can be used for any kink, fetish, or fantasy you are playing out.

New Fantasy, Kink, or Fetish for Your Partner Only

If you have experience with the kink, fetish, or fantasy, but your partner does not, we will look at how to try this with your partner for the first time here.

If you are bringing up your fetish with your partner and this fetish is rough sex, there are many ways you can begin to introduce this into your sex life with your partner without going straight to BDSM, as they may be a little afraid in the beginning and wish to ease into it,

 

though they are open-minded. This is completely okay. There are many degrees of roughness in sex, and it will be easy to start out by just dipping your toes in the world of rough sex to see how your partner feels about it. You can explain this to them as well.

Once they are comfortable with the idea and are wanting to try it with you, you will need to take the lead. Your partner will probably not know where to start, and you will lead them through it for their first few times. To teach them as you go, try using dirty talk to make it sexier than if you just gave them a lesson in kink like a lecture at school. Begin by explaining to them whether you enjoy being in the position of masochist (pleasure from pain inflicted on you) or sadist (pleasure from inflicting pain on another person). For example, you may like having your hair pulled or having your partner dig their nails into your back when you make them feel good.

Begin by having sex as you usually would, and when it comes time when you would like it to get a little rougher, tell your partner (using dirty talk) what you want them to do. Say something like the following: “pull my hair baby” or “spank me like you’re punishing me.” This will make your directions sexy and fitting for the mood. Your partner may be afraid to hurt you if they do not have experience with rough sex.

 

hapter 7.       Oral Sex on A Woman

Oral sex is a sexual practice in which the male and female genital organs are stimulated with the mouth, lips, and tongue in order to give pleasure to the couple. At present, this practice is carried out by both heterosexual and homosexual couples.

How to do Oral Sex for her

The language, yes, but not only. Use your hands to touch the parts of the body gently or, if the passion is extreme and overwhelming, use them to touch the intimate parts of the woman. Miss vagina will thank you

The slowness with which you lick the vagina can play in your favour. But also no. It is good to find the right balance between what can be done with more delicacy and slowness and what instead deserves and asks for a more passionate frequency

If the woman is still not too wet, it means that something is going wrong. Better to ask her at this point: "Tell me what you like, and I'll do it. " You will see that the woman will relax more and accompany you to discover her pleasure

Let her go as she wishes. Lying, standing, above or below. You will see that this will increase your chances of reaching orgasm only with your tongue and your hands

The clitoris is very delicate. Not everyone likes to use it to play persistently. It can be annoying or even cause pain: here it is good to move slowly both in movement and in pressure

The Best Oral Sex Positions for Her

 

The Face Sitter

Also known as the ‘Hovering Butterfly’. Technique: You lie down, and she straddles you.

:

• If you like being the dominant partner, you may feel constrained by with position. • Breathing can be tricky in this position, make sure you come up for air!

When giving oral sex to a woman, this involves the mouth of her partner stimulating her erogenous zones, including her clitoris, her labia and her anus. As you learned earlier in this book, a woman can orgasm from two main places- the clitoris and the G-Spot. Since you are not able to stimulate the G-Spot with your mouth, oral sex involves the clitoris. Stimulating the clitoris with your tongue is the best way to give oral sex to a woman.

The best way to do this is to gently move your tongue around the clitoris and the vulva area. By starting out slowly and increasing speed gradually, this will get the woman’s pleasure increasing at a steady state, which is the best way to make her reach orgasm. While you do this, you could touch her in other places like her vagina by inserting a finger. Some women enjoy the combination of these different types of pleasure.

Positions

There are many positions in which you can give oral sex to  a woman. I will introduce one of these such positions that will be sure to give the woman great pleasure.

The Kivin

 

If you are a woman and your partner give you oral sex that feels nice, but that just doesn’t quite push you to orgasm, this position may be perfect for you. Sometimes it is hard for the person giving a woman oral sex by stimulating her clitoris with their tongue to keep their tongue moving up and down fast enough to make the woman reach the type of clitoral orgasm that she would reach with fingers instead. The way to make this easier is with the following position.

Kivin is a position that allows a person to orally please a woman with a greater chance of helping her to reach orgasm than the traditional position of the head between her legs that most people are used to.

To get into this position, the man will have his partner lie on her back. He will then position himself lying perpendicular to  her  body, his head close to her vulva. Begin to touch her clitoris with your tongue and lips, gently moving your tongue back and forth over top of it. Turn your head to the side every once in a while, to see her face change as she is pleased. Move your tongue in small circles or use your lips to suck on her clitoris. Using your free hand, you can also reach up to her breasts and massage her nipples.

Giving her oral sex in this position places his tongue over her clitoris moving in a side-to-side motion, rather than an up and down motion and will give her greater pleasure because it allows his tongue to move over her clitoris at its most exposed angle. Trying it this way, she is sure to feel clitoral pleasure and will be likely to be able to reach orgasm.

It isn’t enough to just tear right through her undies and lick the soft spot. That will be super boring don’t you think.

 

➢ Flick the clitoris! It is always sensational when you flick the clits with your tongue. The touch of your tongue is softer on her clits. Remember it’s got a natural lube and it is super sensitive. Those things can spark an electricity in every inch of her body, so, go for the clit!

➢ Penetrate: Did you assume penetration is meant for just the penis and some machines? Come on… The tongue can spice things than you can imagine! As long as it is fine by your partner. Dig the office as deep as you can, taunt and stroke till you catch that look on her face. There it is you win! It doesn’t matter whether she is pregnant or on her monthly flow, as long as it is fine by her, ride on with your lips.

So, what are the best positions you can try with her?

Flat style: Often most times, it is pretty easier if you lie flat and allow your partner to do all the exploration himself. Simply lie on your back, with your legs straddle of course. While he explores just a bit above you.

Flat Style 2: Pretty different and crazy. This time, it is his turn to lie flat on his back. His kneels should be edged at about 45 degrees. Kneel a bit above him and place the booty right above his mouth. He should use a pillow to prop his head if there is a need for it. In this position, you have an unfettered access to taste the thighs beside the booty.

69: Ever heard about 69? A really hot style. You are both going to lie by your sides on the bed, by each other’s sides. You know the freaking part? You are lying opposite each other! Your head is turned towards his toes and your toes, hers. Imagine what you both are

 

opening to each other. It’s just a grand way of licking each other at that same time. I can imagine that mountain of pleasure!

1) Mutual pleasure: the 69 position

Another myth of eroticism. 69 is the sublimation of being together: letting oneself go to one's own sensations while giving to the partner sensations that are as strong. The man is lying on the bed, the woman is on top of him and offers him her genitals. At the same time, she leans forward and introduces the penis into her mouth, sucks it, licks it, caresses it with her tongue, simulating penetration into the vagina. This position leads man to orgasm and ejaculation. He licks her sex in a kind of lingual penetration and excites the nerve endings of the vulva, clitoris, entrance to the vagina and the anal area. Even better if, besides kisses, you add caresses to the whole body, and the orgasm arrives simultaneously.

Sex tip

The natural smell of sex, genitals is very important for both partners. It's good to wash and take care of personal hygiene, but without abusing it.

2) Commitment and ability: the reverse 69 position

This is the position of 69 but upside down, reverse, actually, because it is the woman who lies supine on the bed or another surface. The man is on top of it and works hard at kissing all the erogenous zones inside and outside the vagina. With this position, the woman may have some difficulties keeping his penis in her mouth. She should, therefore, be helped to assume the most comfortable position to take it in her mouth and that allows her to suck it and kiss it. On the

 

surface it seems a simple practice, but in reality, it takes so much effort and skill.

You will like it because, for the couple, this position represents the maximum enjoyment, the one that makes you completely lose your head. Obviously, it is very pleasant, especially for the emotional excitement it manages to create, without forgetting the smells and tastes of sex that are particularly stimulating.

Sex tip

Intimate deodorants or lubricating gels alter the natural odours of the genitals. It would be better to avoid them for satisfying oral sex.

3) Dream or reality: the angel position

It is one of the most dreamed positions by men. The male stands  in a dominant position, she kneels down with her arms clinging to his sides and her mouth sucking his penis, glans and testicles. All this while she looks up at him and he caresses her head and leads her in his movements. The woman is the main protagonist.

You'll like it because the woman will enjoy letting her man go crazy

4) Erotic food: the doggy position

It is a very naughty position. This position exploits the animal instinct of every woman and the erotic power of her genitals. The woman is in a doggy style position and her partner behind her has a complete view of her genitals. He licks her in the anal and vaginal area so as to excite and stimulate all the various nerve endings and bring her to orgasm.

Sex tip

 

The best cunnilingus is obtained when the female genitals are slowly licked upwards and downwards and with slight lingual penetration.

5) Run to pleasure: the cowgirl position

The man is lying down. She is on top of him with her genitals in correspondence of his mouth. He slips his tongue in and out and she begins her march towards pleasure and orgasm. She, excited, can move forward and backward with slight movements of the pelvis and rub all the erogenous zones on her man's face.

With her hands, she can caress her breasts, hips and thighs or caress her partner's hair, head and face.

You will like it because oral sex helps to strengthen the bond of the couple and allows you to discover and learn more about your body and that of your partner.

6) Erotic variable: the stool position

He is sitting on the edge of the bed or on a stool, she is kneeling and with her head on his genitals. She sucks his penis and testicles and touches him with her hand, caresses him and masturbates him.

She can keep her lips tighter to put pressure on the penis and lick the glans during extraction. A good trick of oral sex is to vary the intensity of stimulation suction.

You will like it because oral sex is one of the best weapons of female seduction and it allows the woman to exercise enormous power over the man.

7) The gates of heaven: the bliss position

This position provides a mystical experience. She is semi-lying with her thighs wide open and one leg raised. After the stimulation,   even

 

manual, the clitoris is turgid and pulsating, while the big lips have reached the maximum expansion, wet and dilated. He licks her varying in intensity. The tongue enters her and moves in a rotating direction. It goes up to the clitoris and gently rubs it against parted lips.

Sex tip

To make her go crazy, while he licks her, he can insert two fingers into her vagina and stimulate the G-spot.

You will like it because the orgasm is assured. The rhythm and skill of the partner will be decisive for achieving pleasure.

8) Erotic tale: the lady position

She stands up like a lady and lets herself be covered with kisses and cuddles, with caresses. He will satisfy every erotic whim of her. The man kneels at her feet and licks her intensely. He rubs his face on her mons pubis, kisses her groin, and titillates her clit with  his tongue. With his hands, he caresses her hips, belly, buttocks until reaching her breasts. She grabs his hair and head, directs him to the points that give her more pleasure.

 

hapter 8. Find Out Why A Relationship Needs Sex and New Positions

Sex might mean different things to different people, but the bottom line is that it is a very healthy and natural activity that everyone enjoys and find meaningful even with all the different meaning by different people. Sex is not just about vaginal intercourse; sex can be anything that feels sexual which could be vaginal sex, anal sex, hugging, kissing, oral sex or any sexual touching. Sexual activities are very important in a relationship whether one is straight, a lesbian, and bisexual, queer or gay or in any kind of sexual relationship. So basically, sex is any sexual activities that we engage in with our partners for sexual pleasure and gratification. We all know that there will come a time that it might become boring or like a routine if we do not spice things up and this is where sex positions come into play.

Sex positions are the different sultry styles and ways of having orgasmic sex, sex positions should be used just like outfits where different ones should be used at different times. Imagine having sex that makes it looks like you are in your honeymoon stage all the time. This is possible if you are acquainted with all the sex positions and its techniques. The fact is that with this, you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands away from each other.

• Tips and tricks to help you love adventurous sex positions

It is one thing is to know about the different hot pleasurable sex positions and orgasmic thrilling styles that can be adopted in the bedroom but the hardest part is being in the mood to explore and to try the suggestions and the new ideas out. The fact is that    stepping

 

up and trying something new might be terrifying, scary or uncomfortable for you but there are a lot of ways you can help raise yourself to your sexual height to stop sex drought. If you always need loud moaning, the bed squeaking and having passion sex with your partner then you need to use and love different sex positions. Because it is only this way that you will be able to heighten the fire, the excitement, passion and mind-blowing orgasm that have diminished in your sex life. So, to rediscover your lost sexual desires and yearning for having sizzling sex. You can follow the under listed tricks and tips to get yourself to always be in a best mood for new steaming sexual positions.

• Get yourself a sexy masseur or masseuse

So, you can get yourself in the mood by first wearing a kinky or sexy stuff to be more attractive, and then ask your partner to use hot oils to give you good soothing massages all over the body. This will help to reduce tension and as tension reduces from all part of your muscles, it will put you in a better mood to try your new sultry sex suggestions and positions.

• Keep installing the sex ideas in your mind

You will find yourself horny and needing good sex when you keep seeing an erotic sex picture in advance and how you will be having explosive sex under the sheet when you try out some very kinky sex positions. Make some noises, say sensual things and whisper sweet nothings in your partner ears ahead of time. Just go all naughty with your partner and talk dirty to prepare your mind for some very crazy sex positions that you will be expecting from your partner in the

 

bedroom. All these will add up and make you want to try out hot sex positions and be in love with them.

• Spring up a surprise anywhere

There is something sensual and steamy about having a surprise sex anywhere else in the house especially in the shower and a lot of couples likes sexual encounters in the shower, so you can skip the boring bedroom routine for the time being and try other places and most importantly the shower. Surprise your partner maybe in the shower with erotic kisses, demand some fingering from your partner and totally move your hands all over your partner’s body and let your partners reciprocate same till you get in the mood.

• Flirt and play around with your partner

You can get yourself in the mood for some kinky sex in advance by sending suggestive but subtle text messages to your partner to let him or her know what’s on your mind. You can flirt with sending romantic and sex appeal messages to their phone; you can also sound naughty and dirty as possible to give them a clue about your moves. All of these will add to make your sexual advances more persuasive and alluring to your partner and they will respond in a crazy way that will put you in the kind of sex mood you needed.

• Take the initial sex initiative

No need waiting for your partner to be in sexual mood by his or herself, because this route might take longer than you thought. Your partner might not be vocal about it but he or she will definitely appreciate if you take the bold step. You need to supercharge in the bedroom and then create a sexy atmosphere around your partner, he or she would feel aroused and attracted to your body. So, go

 

ahead and let them know you are really for sex with them and introduce the sex position you want to try out.

• Introduce porn videos

This could be the key you need to arouse yourself and be in the mood for a new sex position. Porn videos helps to introduce new sizzling sex positions and how to use them, there are a lot of porn videos now you can stream online or download to watch, just get the ones in accordance with your sex fantasies and you can watch it with your partner together. Watching the porn videos together can instantly arouse your partner and you both can practicalize what you are watching or just watched immediately, this will even help to make the experience more adventurous.

• Raise your self confidence

Sometimes you might feel insecure and may have low self-esteem and this might lead to you not having physical connection with your partner. You will need to work on this aspect of your sexual life. so you need to remind him constantly that you have a banging body, that your partner will still find your body irresistible and hot, apparently, you need to keep arousing him or her with hot kisses, fondling, cuddling etc to make them feel desirable by you too. So, all these will help you be desirable by partner and your partner will also be irresistible to you too and which will open you up to try out the new sex positions you have in your head.

Outstanding gains of using different sex positions in a relationship

If all you think is a kiss and quickie after a long day of work that will just satisfy your partner, then you are in lalaland because your partner thinks sex with you is very boring. Your sex life should be

 

explosive that of fun, passion, multiple orgasm and thrills. Your bedmatics skills should be hot and irresistible that your partner will love and be eager to be part of, and as such it always good to spice up your sex life to ignite the gone chemistry or heightened the passion that already exist. So, it is expedient for you and your partner to learn how to unstick from a sexual routine that must have engulf your sex lives. Give different sex positions a shot to kill boredom that will aid to spark the sexual flames and ignite all the intense feelings for love making. You might not have known but the below points are some killer reasons why you should learn and try out different sex positions in your sex life.

• It will emotionally connect you both

Nothing beats the good old benefits of emotionally connection with a partner after having fantastic bomb sex with one another. You two will stay connected to one another; there will be this subjective feeling that will bond both of you together. This kind of connection will help to arouse strong feelings which will enable you to value mind and soul of your partner and makes you have deep and meaningful conversations with them.

• It will increase intimacy

Introducing new sex positions in the bedroom all the time will keep away unfriendliness and aloofness from partners, so to have a moment of greatest pleasure or rush of sexual excitement with your partner. You must know how to keep things spicy and hot in the bedroom. Good amount of intimacy is needed to keep  the connection very strong.

• It offers immense sexual pleasure

 

Working with some new ideas and sexual suggestions will make you and your partner rediscover yourselves, this is like finding the best options that will build on already existing pleasurable zones.  By trying new sex position, you will discover more pleasurable options you will have to explore and of course the end result is more excitement and enjoyment during sex et al. Again, this will enhance deep penetration for the man and a better thrusting for the woman and these add up to make the sex experience heavenly. This is like finding both G-spot and what can give you both the ultimate satisfaction.

• Easy orgasm for the partners

Nothing is as frustrating as not being able to climax, in fact it shouldn’t have a place in your bedroom or a very abnormal thing to experience. I believe orgasm is an experience that no couples want to exclude from their sex session because this is the explosive  part of love making and it helps couples to love themselves better after a wow sex session. So, using different sex positions in the bedroom can actually help you achieve this explosion effortlessly. It is all about going with the ideal positions and ideas that will give the best result. Of course, if one doesn’t experiment with the sultry  positions learned, it might be counter-productive if one only gets  to know about them without exploring and experimenting with them.

• It makes couples to be flexible

Knowing different sex positions and willingly to use them enable you to have several and numerous sex options to explore. Switching things up in the bedroom using the different sexual suggestions provided here will help spice up things in the bedroom. This will  help

 

you and your partner stop seeing sex as a routine or chore that needs to be done for the sake of it but what they look forward to having for immense pleasure, getting freaky and exploring another pleasurable zone. Using different sex positions available will have sex for couples or partners be more of a necessity and what should be done to make life more alluring for partners.

 

hapter 9.       Top Sexual Fantasies

Overcoming the hurdles at the beginning of a relationship involves developing your ability to express yourself through dialogue, vocalization, and body language. This can take weeks, months, or for some people, longer, depending on personal circumstances. Once a couple becomes comfortable and open to trying new sexual experiences, many adults begin to divulge their fantasies to their partner. This can be a big step for some people who may feel embarrassed or unsure of how their partner will react to learning about secret fantasies, which may include fetishes or unique ideas that may come as a surprise.

If your partner divulges their innermost secrets about how they would like to experience pleasure, listen to them and make them feel comfortable about expressing them. If you are surprised to hear explicit details about a fetish or unexpected ideas for the bedroom, take it in stride and be attentive. Your partner will carefully observe your reaction, looking for approval and acceptance. If their ideas disturb you or put you off, try to view from their perspective — ask questions about their fantasies and learn more about why they are drawn to trying new things. This may help you understand your partner’s wants and needs better than ever.

Alternatively, expressing your own desires and fantasies can take some courage, especially if you have never discussed them with your partner or anyone else before. You may be surprised at how interested  and  engaged  your  partner  is  in  trying  something new,

 

even if just to indulge your fantasy and give you an opportunity to feel the sensation.

Understanding the Fundamentals of BDSM

BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, submission/sadism, and masochism. It has become a popular topic in recent years with mainstream TV and films depicting aspects of this practice that are often unrealistic and inaccurate. There are many misconceptions about BDSM and whether it is harmful or pleasurable. In general, it is a practice that can be experimented with on an occasional basis, but it can be extended into a regular event or full lifestyle. Many people from all backgrounds in life enjoy  healthy,  long-term relationships that incorporate BDSM in one or more forms. Whether it is light bondage and spanking or more elaborate role-playing scenarios with specific demands and desires being met, there are many  variations to customize for pleasure.

To better understand the value and enjoyment that BDSM can bring into your sex life, let us consider some facts to debunk the most common myths about this practice.

All acts performed within the context of BDSM are consensual and fully discussed at length prior to engagement. There must be full agreement and explicit consent so that all parties, whether it is a couple, or more than two people involved, can experience the maximum pleasure possible.

The submissive is the person in a relationship or BDSM role who assumes the role of being dominated and submits to a master or dominant. Someone who takes on this position often enjoys or finds the  act  of  submission  to  be  sexually  arousing  and  satisfying, as

 

opposed to suppressing or oppressive, as some people may assume. The submissive can actually experience a  sense of freedom in releasing themselves from control, allowing someone else, a trusted dominant, to relinquish that power.

The dominant is the person in a BDSM relationship or arrangement who plays the role of making orders or commands for their own pleasure or sexual gratification, as well as for the benefit of their “sub” or submissive. They are attentive and keen on the best interests of the submissive, even during the most intense activities, as everything is agreed upon and discussed beforehand.

A switch is a person who plays both the dominant and submissive roles, switching from one to another based on the scenario.

BDSM is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. Without these key ingredients, there is no basis for a healthy BDSM relationship. In an ideal situation, the submissive signals when the session begins, when to take a break (if needed), and when they finish. A “safe word” is one way a submissive can signal to their dominant that they need a break or need to stop.

Consent is one of the most important aspects of BDSM. It must be explicit, and all parties involved must be enthusiastically willing to participate. Any sign of hesitation should be considered non-consent for the safety of the individual expressing it.

Most people who practice BDSM lead full, happy lives with families, careers and long-term marriages. It is often a misunderstood lifestyle that is wrongfully equated with abuse and mistreatment when the exact opposite is true (Wheeler, 2019).

Role-Playing and Beginning Your Journey into BDSM

 

Role-playing is one popular aspect of BDSM that allows partners to play the role of a dominant or submissive and as a more specific character or person. This could be as simple as dressing in a fancy dress with high heels or a tailored suit and tie. For some people, wearing a more elaborate costume to resemble a fictional character or concept is another option. Trying new roles and ideas does not have to be complex or difficult, as this would only take away from the pleasure and enjoyment of the experience. If you are looking for ideas or suggestions to begin a journey into the world of BDSM, try one of these simple recommendations:

1. Buy a beginner’s kit or guide to BDSM. These are usually found in adult stores and include a few items to get you and your partner started. The items or toys are easy to use. For example, handcuffs and ties are fastened with Velcro, making it easier to remove if you don’t feel comfortable at first. These kits are designed to make the transition into the lifestyle easy.

2. Start with one technique at a time. Get your partner involved in a dialogue about which sensations you enjoy and why. For example, you might enjoy wearing tight, restrictive garments, or perhaps you would like to experiment with a paddle or crop for spanking. If bondage is an interest, try this on its own first, and only progress once you feel comfortable doing so.

3. Set limits and communicate often. If you want to restrict or expand boundaries within a session, make it clear to your partner, and encourage them to do the same. Do not expect your  partner to guess what you want, as this can lead to misinterpretation and may result in crossing the line.

 

4. Never feel coerced. Do not force yourself into trying a technique or practice that makes you feel uneasy or unsafe. Some people have a high threshold for pain and enjoy the sensation of a hard strike, while others are sensitive to touch and would rather scale back the intensity of a spanking or avoid it completely.

5. Keep it light at first. Only try more involving techniques later when you both have a basic understanding and comfort level established. BDSM is based on trust and communication, and both of these elements are required to make it work successfully.

6. Join a group or forum. If you and your partner want to become acquainted with other people who practice BDSM, join a group or forum and ask questions. Explore and make new friends.

Communication is the heart and centre of BDSM. Only engage in this practice with someone that you can trust and explore with safety.

Exploring Fetishes and Kinks with Your Partner

Within the world of BDSM are many variations that go beyond the common images of bondage, whips, and blindfolds. Some people are satisfied with these activities on a mild or more progressive level, while others deviate into more niche or specific fetishes that may seem unusual or strange to the mainstream.

The most important aspect of exploring different kinks and fetishes is to ensure full and explicit consent before trying anything new. As long as the practice is among enthusiastic, willing adults, almost anything goes and can be incorporated into play. The following fetishes go beyond the common role-play of dominant-submissive scenarios and focus entirely on objects, body parts, fashions, or other ideas that can be explored with your partner.

 

What is a fetish? It is a non-sexual object or concept that becomes sexualized for some people. Below are some of the most popular fetishes.

Foot Fetish

This involves a great deal of attention and care of the feet, which becomes central to the sexual experience. The mere sight of a foot or well-manicured toes can cause an immediate sexual response from someone who has a fetish for feet. Men tend to be fans of this fetish more than women. This fetish can involve many activities, from giving pedicures and massaging feet to sucking on toes and being “stepped” on as part of a dominance-submission role-playing.

Gagging or Light Choking

This is a kink that should be approached carefully to ensure that there is no harm done. Gagging should be light and easily reversed or stopped immediately if there is any discomfort at any time. Some people enjoy the sensation of being choked or gagged, which can often be done in conjunction with other forms of bondages where legs, arms, and/or the torso are confined with ties or other restraints.

Enema Play

Giving and receiving enemas is a form of pleasure for some people, and it is often used to prepare for anal play as well. The sensation of squirting water into your rectum may seem unusual if you have never tried it, as it is something only done if medically necessary. If this is something you and your partner would like to attempt, enemas can be easily found in most drug stores or pharmacies. They are sold alongside suppositories or related treatments. Following instructions is key to prevent discomfort, and the end result can be satisfying,

 

especially for people who enjoy administering and receiving an enema. One important thing to remember is staying close to the washroom, as enemas clear out the bowels within 5–10 minutes following administering them.

Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

These two kinks play well together and involve the enjoyment of watching (voyeurism) and being watched (exhibitionism). Voyeurism can be explored by watching your partner masturbate or by watching another couple or person engage in sexual pleasure, either in person or on film. It is important that the person or people being observed accept and consent to it, as some people are completely turned off by the idea of being watched while others will truly enjoy putting on a performance. Exhibitionism is the other side of this kink. It refers to people who are not afraid to show public displays of affection, and they go beyond when the opportunity presents itself.

Cuckolding

This fetish or kink refers to a man (or a woman) experiencing pleasure from watching their partner engage sexually with someone else, often while they observe. This can also be coupled with exhibitionism and voyeurism, as a person with the cuckolding fetish also enjoys watching their partner perform sexual acts or they enjoy being watched. Couples who are interested in this activity should ensure that condoms are used, and safety precautions are taken to ensure everyone is comfortable and enthusiastic about it.

Spanking or Impact Play

Spanking or impact play is a common practice for many people involved in BDSM. They use crops, whips, or paddles to spank or

 

“hit” their partners as part of mutual enjoyment. There is a thrill some people experience when they feel the impact of a strike to the  point of sexual arousal. In some cases, striking the bottom can bring some people close to orgasm or a high level of arousal. The most common areas of striking include the upper thighs and bottom, especially the cheeks, which can withstand a lot of striking. Even with full, explicit consent, it is best to avoid areas that can cause injury (such as the face) or anywhere there is the potential for permanent or long-term harm. Some people who practice impact play expect there to be bruises and redness. A variety of objects can be used, from light whips and floggers to canes and paddles, for a more intense impact.

Hair and Grooming Fetish

While this is not the most common fetish, it is popular in certain circles of the fetish community where hair is seen as erotic. This kink can develop in several ways, from arousal through hair cutting or shaving to long hair worship and grooming. Some people fantasize about elaborate grooming rituals that involve more than hairstyling, and it can include washing, body shaving, manicures, pedicures and specific looks or styles with hair and makeup. The idea of involving hair as a fetish is similar to foot fetish, where regular attention is given to hair, such as brushing, playing, and tugging on it to spark arousal. This works best with a couple who enjoy this activity together. However, oftentimes one person is more engaged, while the other indulges. Scenarios may include hair salons and barbershops, capes, hairdryers, and other hair-related objects that increase arousal.

Sweater and Fur Fetish

 

People who become aroused by the touch or sensation of fur and soft knits or sweaters may have a fur or sweater fetish. This can be a fun experience for people who enjoy wearing such garments to turn on their partner. Some people with this fetish simply feel pleasure from watching others wear furry clothes, while others want to wear a fur coat or sweater when making love. This can be a relaxing and enjoyable fetish, as furry garments are soft and have a pleasurable texture. It is not as common as other fetishes, but it can be a fun option to explore.

Latex and Nylon

Often used with bondage, latex and nylon are materials that restrict movement when worn as garments. People who explore the sensation of nylon enjoy the sensation that this restriction involves, and they may use them on their own while pleasuring themselves or with a partner. Some people enjoy wearing garments, while others like watching other people wear certain outfits made from these garments.

There are many other kinks and fetishes to discover and explore. Some may seem more outlandish than others, but if you choose to indulge or try any of them with your partner, the key is to keep it consensual and fun (Jones, 2018).

Creating Your Own Sex Video

Sex tapes are often associated with famous celebrities and their wild sexual adventures before or during their careers. It is often the source of harsh criticism and judgment, but it is also a  popular activity that many couples of all ages and backgrounds engage in.  If

 

you think the idea of a sex video is risky or taboo, there are some key items to consider before getting involved in this practice.

You will want to evaluate and consider a number of factors first. Making a video is an exciting part of a full and adventurous sex life, though it should be done with some conditions and guidelines. It is not recommended for new couples or people who do not know each other well, as there is no establishment of trust and communication may be limited or underdeveloped in the beginning. Below are some tips for couples who are considering having sex videos:

1. Discuss your ideas with your partner and indicate that making a sex tape or video is one of them. Be direct. Let them know and find out if they are interested in participating as well.

2. Do not force your partner. If your partner is hesitant, even for a minute, about the idea of creating a sex tape, do not push or try to convince them otherwise.

3. Think it over. If your partner approaches you about making a sex tape, explore your own internal thoughts and reactions. Consider any and all reasons for and against the making of a tape. Ask your partner their reasons as well. Don’t rush into filming or decide to create your sex tape on a whim. Without some thought and consideration, you may find yourself regretting a hasty decision. It is definitely not for everyone, and it should not be regarded lightly.

4. Establish your limits. So, let’s say you and your partner have discussed the idea of making a sex tape in-depth, and you are excited to give it a try. There are a lot of fun and creative ways to make a sex tape while keeping some important points in mind: Some people are comfortable filming their entire body without concern,

 

while others are self-conscious or simply uncomfortable with a full face and body view. Is there a compromise? You might want to discuss filming parts of your body or your partner’s and only within a certain part within the sexual activities. For example, you both might want to focus on recording oral sex but not anal or vaginal.

5. Choose your scene and location. Are you more relaxed at home in a standard bedroom setting, or would you rather try filming some action outdoors in a secluded area, such as a forest or the beach? Before you set out to find a fun outdoor space, ensure that it is a safe place to shoot, and avoid any problems, such as using a private property or a space that is not as safe (or private) as you may think.

6. Do not forget to keep it fun and light. Do not stress about how you or your partner look and focus on the fun you will have off and on camera. This is a film for both of you to enjoy, and as long as you both want to enjoy it, it should be a positive experience.

 

hapter 10.   The Best Sexual Positions

The sex spectrum is very broad and very complex. Some people like to do things simple but basic, and they want to get things cool and refreshing at all times without being afraid of throwing out during sophisticated sexual movements. These are the ones who  don't want to spice up their long-term relationship, but those couples who live and breathe unconventional sex and are grateful that they have found each other. You should name these kinds of sexual soulmates comfortably.

Your soulmate is more interested in your orgasm than their own orgasm. Each time you have sex, your partner wishes to experience and know all that pleases you. As the relationship progresses, you grow closer together to each other and make it easier to understand one another's needs more intuitively. The nice thing about it is that your partner just does not have to negotiate what you may need.

Sex can be the best way to build a couple's intimacy because it explores the physical and emotional dimensions of the relationship. Skin-to-skin  touches  help  to  trigger  the  'bonding'   hormone called oxytocin that builds trust -a major part of intimacy. Emotionally, sex can help you to open up with your partner and become vulnerable by being willing to try out new things and talk about sensitive sexuality topics.

Happy and healthy sex life also needs experimentation and new things. Even if you are not ready to leave your comfort zone, experimenting with new sex positions-especially those which    make

 

both you and your partner happier-can be a great start. They are guaranteed to satisfy both of you nine sex positions.

CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)

The Coital Alignment Technique (also known as the CAT position) can be the one for women with difficulties reaching orgasm by intercourse alone. And which man won't be the one who's bringing her in here?

Start in the missionary and slide your pelvic after penetration a few inches higher than normal to close the CAT position. Keep your body flat and think up and down instead of going in or out, so that the base of your penis can stimulate the clitoris for your partner. She should either keep her hips still or rotate them for more friction around you. Try placing the pillow under the bulb or making a circular movement on your hips if you have problems hitting the spot. Using the headboard and mixing pulls with hip thrusts help to achieve your goal and encourages you to penetrate it more deeply. In order to unlock the potential of that position, ensure that it has constant rocking motion that keeps you in contact with your pelvic bone, both at a strong climax. Go further, rock her universe.

The Sitting V

Although the Sitting V is a very simple place for men, your partner needs a certain degree of flexibility. How much flexibility? Let me put this way: it may not be the right choice if she can't touch her toes in a forward curl. Adjust the distance to the point where your pelvis is aligned with hers before her ankles  are  placed  over  your shoulders, making sure her body shape is like a "V" against you. You can then lean back and wrap your arms around your nose with   your

 

wall or your arms as a support or pull closer to you. Try to support the body with your hands around the back if you want to help make her comfortable.

The position allows you to reach the speed and depth of your movements deeply and to control the pace and the climax of your motions. The powerful impetus will make this an incredibly stimulating role, coupled with ease of execution.

The Scissors

Not only for action between girls but also for hetero couples, scissors will really hit the spot too. Start to sit on a soft surface, the legs folded in an upside-down "V," while your lower half should be almost right-angled, and the legs are spread, and the knees are slightly bent. Place the upper leg under it, over its lower leg, and under it, and then step close enough to reach it. While finding the perfect location at first is tricky, once you get it, your lover and you will come back for more laidback but intense stimulation.

Maybe the Scissors does not allow a lot of movement, but don't let go of it–there is plenty of fun for everyone! Your partner can be continuously stimulated by positioning your crossed legs, whilst the shallow thrusts stimulating the nerve endings on your penis head enable an electrifying orgasm.

Face-Sitting

You don't need an excuse, but sitting on the face is a convenient, cheap way of providing pure happiness for your lady. If you need a moment to stretch your legs between positions, or feel overstimulated, rest and concentrate on what is important to her pleasure. Until she sits down, and you go down, have your partner

 

straddle your head and you must leave a few inches of a breathing room. Occasionally, she will have to hold on to something because you will do such good work to writhe her pleasurably.

This pose is ideal for those who still master the language technique as it helps the person sitting on his back to monitor the posture and strength more exactly.

Doggy Style

On all fours, your partner must enter you with either their penis or a sex toy from behind while you are on your knees. You can fall to your elbows and forearms to aid you if you have fragile wrists. The deeper the penetration, the more you arch in that position.

First of all, the position in doggy style is still a favourite throughout. People with penises love it because they can penetrate this position very deeply. For those with vaginas, the style of doggy is ideally in the G-spot, and even if you don't have a vaginal orgasm, you can feel fantastic.

Cowgirl

With your partner plopping on their back, mount them. Then go ahead and, well, riding against each other, grinding your bodies.

When an individual with a vagina is on top, they have complete control over their orgasm which can help them orgasm with the clitoral stimulation by grinding against the pubic bone of their partner. This is pleasurable for people with penises because they know how well their partner is going to orgasm, while they just lie down and enjoy themselves.

Doggy Style with A Vibrator

 

Just enter the traditional doggy style and add a vibrator to the clitoris. But if you're the one to hold a vibrator, you definitely want to comfort your upper body, as it can be difficult for some to hang up with just one hand.

For both partners, this particular position is a true winner. The person with the vulva is not only stimulated by its clitoris and G-spot, which increases their chances of the elusive mixing orgasm, but also the vibrations that their partner is able to experience when he or she trickles down on them.

69 Position

When one of you stands on the top and one faces upwards, turn your face into the genitals of the other and start oral stimulation in the opposite directions. On your sides, you can also do that. It's about choosing the most convenient thing for you both.

As long as both partners like receiving and giving oral, 69 can be incredible because you enjoy it all at once. Ultimately, 69 is so huge that they call it a win-win in the business world. No losses in 69 position.

Reverse Cowgirl

Just straddle your partner with him flat on the back. It's just liked a cowgirl, but you’re going in the other direction. Like traditional cowgirls, they are responsible for their orgasms with the vulva, so you can know that it's a great place when this is part of a sex scenario.

For the penis buddy, they should sit there again, relax, have a view, and concentrate on their partner's sensation of being intensely (or slowly and easily) stimulated, similar to traditional cowgirl.

 

X Marks the Spot

As you lie on your back, cross your legs and put them in the air, your partner will penetrate you in this position while standing.

You create tightness with your crossed legs and also create a feeling that both of you will enjoy. In fact, this tightness is why this is great for people with tiny penises. Nevertheless, in addition to the near feeling, the G-spot stimulation is perfect for people who have vaginas, and if they want to do so, they can either manually or by a vibrator stimulate their clitoris, while their partner tweaks her legs for more leverage.

Sideways Straddle

With your spouse seated behind and a hip bent, straddle your leg. Next, when facing them, you want to lower yourself to their penis level. You can also use this role to rub on your vulva if your partner has a vulva, to provide clitoral stimulation for both of you.

In the first instance, this one is at the top of the list when it comes to sex positions for the stimulation of the clitoris because you can quickly rub your pubic bone and clit against your partners to guarantee orgasm. Second, if a penis is involved, it will allow the rear entry of the penis into the vagina, which ensures that the penis penetrates deeper and will produce more sensation.

Sofa Brace

Draw yourself on the back or side of the sofa while on your knees. Then your partner will penetrate you like they would in doggy style while also on their knees. It's basically a style of doggy, but you've got to do less with a sofa in your mid-region.

 

The warmth of this particular position is the most rewarding thing. Both of you are on the sofa, and you are bent over it, so your arms and hands are not under pressure and your partner is bent on the sofa and you are all cozy.

Modified Doggy

You can either start lying on your stomach when your partner goes up and enters you from behind, or you can begin in traditional doggy style and go down together.

Again, for both partners, rear-vaginal penetration always is a winner. In comparison to putting pressure and weight on your wrists and knees and on your partner's feet, you have the protection of the bed around yourself similarly to the sofa brace. You or your partner have easy access to stimulate your clitoris as well as the phenomenal permeation because your bodies are on top of each other.

Sideways 69

It's as though I've always said, you sometimes have offered a little to get a little. But you can't give and get at the same time for absolutely no reason. Therefore, 69 is an enthusiast in the bedroom because it enables us to give a partner continuous enjoyment without compromising our own  minute.  And  if  you  transform  the  69  on its side, you can go on and on for as long as possible.

Start by laying your partner on your side, going towards her feet and vice versa. Fold your top leg into a triangle, pointing your knee to the ceiling, putting your top foot flat on your bed, and backing your elbows to balance. You may need to change your partner's distance to maximize access to your private parts based upon your height and size. While much less common than conventional 69, this variant  on

 

the side removes potential neck aches and lets your own hands indulge in pleasure, plus sometimes, for a longer period, it is more relaxed and less difficult to maintain.

Waterfall

You really don't want to get out of the bed if you're like most couples-

-several nights are there–so why not try to get on the couch? The waterfall is a variant on the prominent Cowgirl position, but it packs a great climate punch. Begin by sleeping on the couch or bed and your girl on top of you, and she needs to lean back and move her weight to her feet instead of riding you from her knees. When she has the position down, push her to the edge of the bed or couch, allowing her and her hips to rest on the ground. Draw your legs over the back of the sitting area if you're on a couch or simply let your knees fall open. From here, the speed, depth, and intensity of your partner's turns are controlled completely, not to mention an empty hand she wants to use–clitoral stimulation, anybody?

You can either use it as a buffer as you create an orgasm or step into it before the grand finale. It is possible, in reality, for example. In any case, this will lead to an explosive climax of your blood to rush to your brain (and other organs).

Standing Doggy- Style

When you're lustful, but you don't have a soft surface around, take the opportunity to go for the standing doggy. This one is great for the tub, the patio, the wardrobe or anywhere else you end up if you can't find a place to lie. Although flexibility can comfortably keep your spouse, she does not need to be a yoga deity to carry this one off successfully.  She  bends  over  and  attaches  herself  to  her  neck,

 

calves, or thighs with her hands, depending on what feels best; she can plant her hands to the floor if she is super bendy.

Once in a stable position, enter from behind her, grab her hips to stabilize and support her balance. To change your input angle, you can bend your knees or spread your legs further apart and do not miss using this replenished hand to stimulate the clitoris. This pose feels great and, like any variation of "doggie," allows you to go deep and become a best friend between man and woman.

The Sit 'N' Spin

The fact that subtle vibrations can improve most sexual experiences is no secret, but the "Sit' N' Spin" makes this a step forward. There is not much strength, equilibrium or flexibility required. In fact, just one thing is needed to pull it off: a stand-alone washing machine or a dryer.

Sit down with your feet hanging over the rim on the side of the washing machine. Next, let your partner straddle you in Cowgirl position, on either side of your hips, with her knees. She can wrap her legs around your waist to make it even more intimate feeling while keeping it tight to your chest - don't let go of anything you do. Then the spin cycle has to begin!

Although the laundry machine will certainly not give you magical vibrations at wall level, deep roars and shakes will make your body feel happy. These rumbles may even pulsate through you depending on the strength of your spin cycle to make you feel the vibrations too. Never again will you feel the same about cleaning anyway.

The Cradle

 

The Cradle is a perfect option to add to your repertoire since it's intimate and meaningful but doesn’t need much strength or stamina to perform. Start by sitting face-to-face with your partner; wrap your legs around her body as her legs are tucked around your waist. Support her to move her butt until you can get in and then start moving slowly together. You won't get much impetus in this role, but The Cradle can achieve its true orgasmic power through slow and climaxing construction.

It also has a lot of close physique touch, so that you can move to the perfect position to feel romantic (or you could take a break from hard thrusts). You're going to like it because the slow, sensual movement helps you to enjoy the pleasure longer. She will love to see the seated posture puts her in a perfect angle for direct clitoral stimulation and see each other's eyes together as you climax.

The Superhero

Although this position does not need a cape, you absolutely deserve one if you do it across the finish line. To pull out the Hero you'll have to bend your partner through a desk, bed, or counter–just make sure she leans on in a height and supports her weight comfortably. Stand behind her, put your hands under her hip, and lift her up until her feet are off the ground; it may help to get her legs wrapped around your waist for equilibrium. The idea is to hold her up while you go in and out and keep her hanging as long as you can. Once your super-limit is reached, ensure that your partner is slowly taken out and slowed down gently.

For this step, the power it takes is more a transitional role than the grand finale, but as you reach the climax it can provide a massive

 

rush of adrenaline. She likes how the pose explicitly triggers the G- spot in a similar way to doggy style, but she feels intense. The Superhero helps you to fully control your thrusting strength and speed... That's until you give up your weapons.

Basically, sex roles that make both partners comfortable will not be set into stone because we are all different beings. However, these positions are an excellent starting point.

 

hapter 11.    The History and Origins of Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is a type of sexual practice that stresses the spirituality of the union between a man and a woman as a sacred act. Tantric sex is about getting in touch with your sexual energy which is considered the essence of life and creation and using that energy. When you are able to tap into the energy you can have better sex and you can have sex for longer periods of time, but that energy will also give you more energy in other areas of your life. It will deepen the relationship that you have with your partner because the two of you will be bonded in a spiritual and sacred way.

Tantric sex focuses on building sexual energy and then releasing it at the right time so that both of you are energized as a result. The more aware you are during sex the better the sex will be. That’s why many Tantric sex rituals focus on things like touching and eye contact that are designed to make you more aware of your own energy and your partner’s energy. The more deeply you can connect with your partner during Tantric sex the deeper your bond will be.

Some Tantric rituals might seem strange or awkward to you at first but once you start to practice them more you will realize that the rituals are helping you get more in touch with your own sexuality and your partner’s sexuality. The rituals will help you both explore deeper and more meaningful sexual practices together which will make the relationship between you stronger.

If you have been married for a long time or if you have been with your current partner a long time and the romance has fizzled in the relationship because of kids, stress, work or other common factors

 

exploring these Tantric sex rituals together will remind you both of why you got together in the first place. That spark between you isn’t gone, it’s just gotten dimmer. Tantric sex can make that spark a full burning flame of passion again.

History

Tantra the root word of tantric, means a technique to broaden consciousness. It is not a religion or philosophy. While it is based on metaphysical concepts, it is an empirical tool for those looking to create additional meaning in their lives. Furthermore, it  is a technique that is based on experience, in the context of concrete life. The practice of the tantric practices is to broaden awareness in the many aspects of one’s life and precisely to broaden awareness during the sexual act. In Tantra there is a joining between what often seems like opposite dimensions of pleasure and liberation. In this practice, it is the hedonistic desires that allows a person to reach a mystical experience and widen their awareness. In the Guhyasamaja Tantra it states that, "no one can achieve liberation if he engages in difficult and tormenting practices; liberation can only be achieved through the conscious fulfilment of all desires."

In addition to Tantra’s creation of a bridge between sexuality and spirit, the Tantra seeks to join the concepts of both control and ecstasy. For example, in yoga the goal is to learn both self-control and discipline by removing the self through meditation.  For Christians it is important to abandon oneself through self-denial and suffering, for the divine. However, in tantra both the self and the divine join each other by embracing the fulfilment of one’s desires.

 

To briefly discuss the history of the Tantrism it is important to understand that this is a brief overview and there are many more in- depth books on the history and development of the practice. Additionally, there are many books that seek to interpret Tantric texts from an ethnological, historical, cultural, religious, metaphysical and other points of view.

Around 2000 BC the Harappan populated the Hindu valley region. During this time the population, known as the Harappan society, a matriarchy, was enamoured with the arts. The main concern of their society was for the well-being and each of their homes had at least one bathroom which was practically unheard of in ancient peoples of that time.

The society had a major building in their capital Mohenjo-Daro. What is unique about their major building is that it was not a centre of commerce or government but a swimming pool. What else is unique about this culture was that women maintained a place of honour both in their religion and secular life. She is commonly depicted with her arms open and her legs spread apart, offering herself to adoration.

It is also worth noting the use of the Harappan, to lay a large bed in the main room of the houses. It was the bed of the landlady, and there – in the main room, in the living room – the act of love was celebrated.

In this society religion was a daily practice. It was not just a system of dogmatic doctrine but an experience where the divine was personal to the practitioner. For the Harrapan religion was closely connected with the body, pleasure, and sexuality. This is in contrast to more patriarchal societies where the divine was far away from  the

 

practitioners. For patriarchal religious communities there became a need to bridge the space between man and their god or gods which required the use of rituals and holy people. When their society eventually transitioned to becoming more male centred the religious beliefs undertook a change.

For those that practice Tantra they know that there is a wide range of female representation. This is in contrast to the Christian centred culture where being female is broken and a woman is both clean and chaste or a dirty whore. However, in Tantrism female representations can both sexual and spiritual, ecstatic and intelligent, fierce and peaceful. They can be spiritual without denying who they are as women.

Tantrism enjoyed a great increase in followers in the period between 10th and 12th centuries AD. However, it was later suppressed with the introduction of Islam to the region. During this time there were secret schools of Tantrism that survived in places like Bengal and Assam where they had good relationships with China. Part of this was because of the beliefs on sexuality that Taoists had. In contrast, in places like Tibet where they were sheltered from the influence of other societies Tantrism flourished and married with the ideas espoused in Buddhism and Bon. Bon is an ancient shamanic religion.

The Spread of Tantrism

In 8th century AD, the Guru Padmasambhava, a famous Indian tantric, travelled to Tibet. In the 11th century, Tibetan translator Marpa travelled to India to study Tantra da Naropa, a disciple of Tilopa. When Marpa returned to Tibet he translated and taught the

 

Tantric principles to his famous disciple Milarepa. From this period began the widespread dissemination of Tantra in Tibet. It is because of Milarepa that in women are revered and considered wise after to males.

Over time there began a distancing of the sexual practices of Tantrism to a different form. This form of less sexually charged Tantrism is called Red Tantra or Tantra of the Left Hand. It is about studying the union of men and women on the level of their energy. There is also a more metaphysical concept of Tantrism that is called White Tantra or Tantra of the Right Hand.

These newer forms of Tantra lend to the Buddhist mantra that is loosely translated as “the jewel in the lot.” For them the jewel is the male organ and the lot is the lotus flower or the female sexual organ. They can come together in both the physical and mystical sense.

After this followed a series of years of decline for Tantra in India. However, it was with the start of the sexual revolution of the 1970s and the women’s liberation movement that there was a  rediscovery of the Tantric arts. It was during this time that many of the Tibetan llamas and Hindu yogis opened their teachings to Westerners.  Two of the many yogis and llamas charged with the spread of White Tantra to the west are Llama Yesce and Yogi Bhajan who gave Westerners more up-to-date and understandable texts.

Teaching these old techniques to a new audience did not happen easily. One of the major problems was translating the texts and reading the instructions without breaking up the energy. However, after much efforts were made these problems much easier to deal with. However, there were things like sayings in the text that were left

 

up for interpretation. Another barrier to its adoption in the west were the learning of the many different poses that could be used in the practice of Tantra.

However, with the increase of sexuality in both men and women and the liberation of women from the traditional female roles sex has become more enjoyable for the masses and has allowed many to understand the Tantric arts. However, it is important to understand that the adoption of Tantra has had nothing to do with this liberation and more to do with the enjoyment and pleasure of sex seen in many today. People in today’s culture now see sex as an obligation and it must always be good sex. However, Tantra reminds us that it is not the same as Tantric sex. Tantric sex seeks to find ecstasy and liberation in the sexual act and not as the end means of all sexual contact.

The purpose of Tantric sex is not to find enjoyment in the sex act in and of itself but to find a spiritual experience in the joining of the male and female.

For those in Western society the use of Tantra is two-fold. It is used to first, draw a spiritual map that connects us with the larger dimensions of the self in a very practical and experiential sense; and second to create a culture of love. In the West’s culture of love the traditions are scarce and experiences have to be made up by the practitioner themselves. However, there are some cultural events like red-light districts in European areas and gentlemen’s or strip clubs that are part of the culture of eroticism. However, for these red-light districts and strip clubs the feeling generated is mostly depressing and not seen as a highlight to the sexual experience.

 

In the West, there tends to be an overload of sexual messages of every kind both images and words. However, while it seems that everything is permissible it has not yet extended to the real-life bedrooms of the men and women that are living in the society. All of the sexual needs and energy, in the West, is reserved for the fantasy realm and not real life. This is in contrast to those practitioners of the tantric arts who create concrete situations with a high erotic charge. These practitioners are doing so based on the belief that this is a spiritual ritual that happens to involve sex. The sex is part of the spiritual experience and is not reserved solely for the mind and a hidden drawer of the room.

In tantra the sexual ritual is called pancha-makara. Also known as the five “M” s. The five Mems are madya or drink wine, mamsa or eat meat, matsya eat fish, mudra or eat an aphrodisiac cereal, and maithuna or join sexually. However, in vegetarian societies these “M” s was modified to be considerate of the values espoused in that society. However, these other five M rituals do not seem to have the same value in a culture where meat, fish, and wine are available at the push of an app or in any corner store or supermarket at a moment’s notice. However, the idea is clearly to enjoy life and the sustenance that surrounds it including the sexual act which is just as important for Tantric followers as eating or drinking. It is important to remember that at the time of the Tantra’s original writing  those things, meat, fish, wine, and even sex were not easily taken for granted and were seen in a scarcity and something to savour and enjoy as part of the enjoyment of a life.

It is with this that many of the Tantric schools have started to re- emphasize the importance of the other four “M” s not just the one

 

that involves sex. They have done this because of the age of indulgence that we live in to help people become more serene and pleased in what they may see as the doldrums of food and beverage in a society overflowing with sustenance. They have  developed many of the rituals to be more sustainable by modern practitioners in a more modern world. They want the practitioners to understand that Tantra is not a hedonistic orgy of food, wine and sex but a ritual that uses sex and food as a way to reach deep into the heart and find a spirituality in it.

Origins

Now, that you know the basic etymology of ‘Tantra’ let us dive right in and get more information as to the origins and the history of this rather misunderstood and misinterpreted system of thought. Tantra can be believed to be the weaving of the ‘sutras’ of Siva and that of Shakti to achieve the divine and transcend beyond human senses.

There were multiple oral traditions that were imbibed into the Tantra of weaving together of Siva and Shakti. These traditions were most likely derived from Dravidian matriarchal societies that honoured and respected the female aspect of life. In these traditions, women were very powerful influencers and great teachers too.

There were highly powerful and meaningful rituals to mark transition points. These rituals were all centred upon nature and were very important connecting lines to nature. Most importantly, these female- oriented traditions rarely separated these rituals from routine life. They did not have priestly class or any kind of monastic order which controlled the other parts of the society or tradition.

 

These teachings or the Tantra thoughts found a lot of popularity among the burgeoning middle class in India, which was becoming wealthier and more powerful than before the time we are talking about (around the 6th century). This emerging middle class was more or less unaffected by the caste-consciousness of the Vedic nature and also by the monastic male-dominated Buddhist philosophy of the times.

Additionally, these shamanic-like traditions taught that enlightenment was possible right here, right now. These traditions were practical and easy to follow unlike the scholarly and monastic teachings of the conventional religions in force at that time. These traditions were very immediate and very vibrant too.

The immediacy of the outcomes was very attractive as people did not have the compulsion to wait for reincarnations and rebirths for salvation. Divinity was not described in any abstract and distant form consisting of a collection of confusing deities. On the other hand, divinity was explained as something that is all-pervasive and that which each of us is a part of. In fact, divinity is not something that we are a part of, but it was the whole of the Universe.

Nothingness, as described in Buddhism, this was not an easy concept to understand for the average person. The concept of nothingness was changed into a form that was easier to interpret and comprehend; that nothingness became an all-pervading, omnipresent, and universal consciousness.

The physical world which was considered a deception to the traditional view became an illusion in this middle-class accepted new tradition.  Everything  and  everyone  in  this  universe  became       a

 

differently projected part of the universal consciousness. As we get better at understanding, the awareness of the non-duality concept, we slowly began to understand the illusionary aspect of what our five senses project to us until finally, we can now visualize and accept the entire Universe including us, the world around us, and the Divine, as one and the same.

All these teachings together were referred to as  Tantra and continued through the entire Classical Era, which lasted for about 400-500 years. Multiple individual and independent teachers created many lineages that had among them a few diversities but mostly commonalities.

Kashmir Shaivism was one such lineage created and remained highly prevalent for a few centuries. However, the Tantra lineage highly influenced both the then prevalent Hinduism and Buddhism. The Hinduism as we know it today is particularly influenced by the Tantra tradition. Buddhism created an entirely new sub-sect called Vajrayana Buddhism that still survives in the Himalayas even today.

 

hapter 12.   The Tantric Psychology

For the common person, ancient tantric texts are quite difficult to understand because they were written using a code philological or jargon which is also best clarified orally by a professional mentor. Most people misinterpreted what Tantra actually stand for, and what the teachings were supposed to convey, for this reason alone.

Therefore, it is important to choose and choose a credible school and/or guru to provide the most accurate and knowledgeable understanding, ideally one in line with numerous other ancient and old yogic teachings. Therefore, the characteristics that make  Tantra a comfortable and rewarding field of repetition for anyone who pursues spiritual enlightenment and methods of using their intrinsic energy (in this case, sexual energy) to maintain optimum health can be genuinely increased in value.

Tantra can be considered a path that can be used to achieve the highest consciousness state called Samadhi., using sex as a means of going "beyond sex" rather than merely enhancing sexual pleasures. It is also very important to improve intimate relationships and health. Many Tantric schools are based on the direction to the left of the Tantra. A person who seeks to maintain continence without having to abstain completely from sex (one of five yanas in the Eight Stages of Yoga).

Instead, the right-hand path, which for the majority is not possible, focuses solely on symbolic and meditative solutions to  sexual energy, without intervening in the activity itself. Both of these forms

 

are deemed "right”, and none is better than the others, despite admonition efforts.

Through Tantraism, we come to know that the energies  from sexuality originates inside the lower chakras (svadhisthana. Muladhaara, and Manipuura, and they are found at the region of the abdomen and below it) they may move or be transferred through the body to the upper chakras, namely anja (third eye),  visuddha (throat), Anahata (heart chakra), and Sahasrara (crown chakra).

The mechanism through which energy is transmitted towards up is called sublimation. It leads to a completely dissimilar spiritual / sexual experience, which is more satisfying and lasts longer. This practice not only offers a range of fitness reimbursements, although they also create feelings of happiness that one seeks to achieve by sexual union and love, both in human form as well as the symbolic joining of the male and female forces also known as  Shiva and Shakti in tantrical educations.

Contrariwise, most couples will agree that there is often a sense of frustration, disconnection and tiredness caused by the height of their sexual experience in everyday sexual encounters. This loss of energy is not only simply declining, but it can also spill over into other facets of life where this persistent lack of energy or prana (life force) contributes to health imbalances and ultimately to a loss of interest from the act itself.

Nevertheless, the couple can maintain and surrender their sexual dynamism inside by using some of the procedures and asanas / yoga structures taught at Tantra, waking every cell in the body.

 

From a devotional point of view Tantra teaches a method, called transfiguration. The pair sits opposite one another in this exercise.

Through motion it stares deep into another's eyes. The aim is not to smile at your friend, but to be honest with him and sincere. By so doing, a lot of stories show what's behind the eyes, rather than the individual themselves. What they believe is an indescribable quality that cannot be called into question, weighed or rejected.

After all, the term itself -- derived from the ancient Sanskrit – means “web” or “to weave energy.”

It’s about getting to know your own body Like yoga, tantra is about physical and spiritual awareness.

With your complete body, what provides it pleasure, and how it feels bliss? This permits you to pay better attention to your body’s needs and needs and make sure they’re fulfilled.

And if you have a spouse, getting to know their body, too. Tantra is not just focused on reaching the maximum state of mind-body consciousness. It is also about developing a deeper, more harmonious bond with your partner.

Physically aware and spiritually present, feeding each additional energy that continues to grow well after you’ve finished having sex. Tantra also allows you to explore and expand all aspects of your characters, so that you start to truly understand the other person inside and out.

Try not to overwhelm your spouse with information. Instead, explain to them what you like about your sex life and how you can lead to enhancing the experience. Actively listen to what they have to actually say. Your partner might give you an enthusiastic yes or a

 

definite no. Or they might be somewhere in the middle. No matter their reaction, listen to and respect what they have to say.

It awakens the emotional state of deep feelings that may be a characteristic of the totality we contain and surrenders the demands and restrictions that we usually apply to attach with another. Mostly known of the observable and physical health benefits documented by women who practice Tantra on a regular basis due to the vital flow of energy over and done with the body and increased blood rotation are as:

1. Ameliorated tone of the muscle

2. Fat-deposit loss

3. Reduced back pain, and regeneration of the spinal cord

4. Toxin-release

5. Youth Maintenance and Vitality

6. Enhanced Teint

7. Corporal breasts

8. Toning Abdominal and hip muscles

9. Regeneration

10. Augment

11. Mentions of menstrual secretions decreased.

The act of keeping water will improve the health of people, contributing to far more creative energy and a healthy body inside and outside. Tantra also suggests a lifestyle regime using a reduced protein  macrobiotic  diet  system  that  balances  the  food's  yin and

 

yang energies exactly the same way male and feminine complement each other.

The same principle applies to all levels of division as maintaining a healthy body, like any ability to achieve a heightened state of consciousness and perception, is of utmost importance if you follow the vegetarian diet plan or a replacement approach to eat healthy.

Tantric Sex and Good Sex-Health

Frequent plus potent orgasms will increase the level of oxytocin, this pleasure hormone. The level of oxytocin is linked to character, desire, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), all influencing job, family, emotions, and social life. Orgasms improve our  pituitary (brain function) because they are incredibly beneficial for sexual health.

It needs to hit the CNS and Brainiac, the hypothalamus and pituitary’s glands endocrine control centre to monitor the changes that will most likely help our sexual health.

Tantric Sexual Energy

Scientific studies have shown that tantric sex leads to a massive improvement in sexual health amongst those involved. Spurring blood circulation, aerobic body detoxification, stimulating digestive, endocrine / immune and nervous systems, resulting in increased sexual well-being, rejuvenation and longevity; This increases the lifespan, enhances the immune system and improves overall sexual health through the liberation of our body and mind by tantric sex.

Loss of interest can result from being overly busy, overworked and having an insensitive lover that doesn't understand how to make you happy. The concept of guilt and shame is deeply embedded in our

 

western civilization, which is largely perpetuated by religion and our upbringing.

Sex has the power to help you get rid of depression and anxiety altogether. In the West, the overall body and all of its functions are assumed to be attractive and natural.

Frequent, sustained orgasms can greatly benefit women's sexual health. The difference between having an ordinary orgasm and using a tantric orgasm is nevertheless huge. Natural orgasms, which are the norm, are isolated from short-lived sex organs.

It is widely believed that women are capable of having three climax types— clitoral, vaginal, and blended — and men experience a single, more general orgasm class. Tantra presents another kind of orgasm that is available to both males and females— the "power" or the "heart" orgasms. Tantra speaks of being "in your heart" at all times, meaning you are mindful of the positivity and sensual energy within you.

The teachings suggest that these blissful sensations can be converted into a complete-body orgasmic state of being. Originally, after prolonged periods of tantric lovemaking Tantrikas experienced this sort of orgasm. However, with practice, they can only breathe and concentrate to get themselves to the situation.

For this Orgasmic condition, also referred to as "believing," there is no need for physical touch or ejaculation.

One for beginners is the Maithuna which aligns both partners  ' energy chakras. The woman shifts in this position onto the lap of the guy sitting down and facing him. The woman then places the   man's

 

right hand between her shoulder blades, while the buttocks are supported by his left hand.

The woman puts her left hand between the shoulder blade on the back of the guy and sits on the sacrum to her right, thereby completing the energy chakras alignment.

Using Tantra to Boost Your Love Life

Many people now turn to lifestyle practice of tantric sex. But beyond Tantric being a code word that Sting jokingly vowed to enjoy for some sex marathon, what exactly is it? Also, is it something you would like and look forward to having it evolve in different ways?

Within the contents of its heart, tantric sex can be seen practically as the sexual intercourse that incorporates breathing, movements, meditation, and sounds in order to help start the Chakraic vitality systems inside the human body. These openings give room or allow for the latent force, known as or referred to as Kundaliini, in order to move up along the backbone from the pelvis.

A method of untightening the compressions inside the  human system which may sometimes possess formed in one’s living, a movement revolving around this life-force vitality will allow you to cure. The energy body's development also enhances one's feeling, clairvoyance and ability to connect with others.

It has this increased opportunity for a lot of people to interact around some sexual partners that attracts all of them into Tantra sex. Also, in addition to the distinct benefits of uplifting one’s sexual life, the body energy can also be expanded by Tantra practices towards achieving a major goal— one’s major aim.

 

In general, doing Tantra along with the side benefit of intense orgasms (by yourself or with your spouse) makes you feel great to keep people coming back for more.

But when you start a Tantra session you don't actually jump right into the ecstatic orgasms and that's OK. Each new skill begins tiny, with all of the basics! Qigong and Tantra Yoga's gentle movement and breathing techniques are enjoyable alone, as you walk along the tantric path.

Even essential as these are meditations that help you move energy up and down the backbone and extend your body's energy centres.

Tantra is suitable for all physical skills with only five minutes  of normal practice each day, and steadily putting time together as you step forward. A lot of individuals who sincerely want to dedicate time to input these acts into their everyday habit. They just have to find the space to input these factors into their everyday habits.

Through Tantra various strategies or meditations are created. Many apply to sexual energy (conversion of) On the pair's  meditation, there are more general strategies from the series.

Gender and tantric sex have explained that' heart and awareness' is the main difference between sex and tantric sex. The key tantric sex methods are consciousness making love, and lovemaking out and in about love constantly.

Lust will, obviously and definitely, even participate full, instead the leadership is consistently away from the passion for romance. It all happens out of passion.

Tantra sex has no intention besides being lovingly together in a wonderful  (extended)  way.  Therefore,  there  is  absolutely  no pain,

 

there is no fear of failure. MAKING IT ALL SPECIAL

Tantra Sex takes yourself off the autopilot. Consciously having sex and doing something amazing out of this. That is totally adorable having sex! Then make it an exceptional event, something different and at any time. Establish a specific area and create a beautiful Tantra temple. Or choose a pretty spot in nature. That's not just fun, but what sexuality is like is also personal with true: natural. Carry along the stuff of romance. Consider it a holy spot, sort of.

SET THE TONE-JOYFUL ANTICIPATION

Not only arrangements are fantastic. Therefore, it is worth living up to. Enjoy the SMS messages, foreplays, chats, emails, and let them be aware that you enjoy it. In a way like that, you will have pre-fun moments. Plus, that same day. Make sure to take it slow, plan, examples are to not slap, boom, or a bath together or take a shower together and, ready. Love.

FOR EACH OTHER

For the form of one another, this is what it is all about. Make a happy game of getting dressed up again and getting undressed. Give yourself a godly / paradisiacal sound. Carry lovely sexy clothes on. Instead, for example, do a religious strip tease — display the deities of gods and goddesses inside you, plus watch a goddess or goddesses inside that of your partner. You may set up some music which will awaken your sensuality.

FALL TIME!

 

Tantric sex needs time, that's straightforward tantric sex techniques! That couldn't be done every day and it's not  necessary. Nevertheless, every now and then. Know thy goals! Stick to the energy of your intention: You need an experience with love (orgasmic/ecstatic). The first bone of contention or priority is therefore Quality Time! Move into 1 1/2— 2 hours max. Ensure no interruption occurs. Kids and your phones are off somewhere / at the babysitter— a devotional matter.

KNOW YOUR SEXUAL (HEART) DESIRES

In tantric sex, all the hidden aspects or sections of your totality as human or as a being may be displayed or come forward and be illuminated. Communications over your sexual (heart) urges with each other. Speak up at least once on your sexual fantasies. Hmm... Hmm... Awe-inspiring! There are just a few or no limitations and/or taboos variables in tantric sex. It's about your thoughts, and the confidence that you may / can be as honest as you are— even in sexual activity. And look at personal or very much restricting beliefs regarding sexual intercourse. Find out about the hidden desires you have for sex and learn them. There is nothing more mandatory that allow all your desire to offer your love making input / direction.

WHAT SEX IS TO YOU

This is one great way to do that. Specific question:' what's great sex for you, for example? Sharing is more appropriate for this is more of penetrating topics. In short, the distinction is that you can talk about the info / insights that come from an investigation (afterwards) publicly. These gives tremendous amount of confidence/trust and space to address any potential problem.

 

FOREPLAY IN THE STANCE OF TENTRA MASSAGE

Sex with tantra has no purpose, no aim. One great, widespread foreplay is tantric sex. Tantric sex is much more than mere orgasm and piercing. And, as a foreplay, it can do a lot. Basically Ok? It could be a romantic dinner, a cuddle on the sofa. It can be a fun contact and it's something everyone wants to touch. You wouldn't want your partner to feel this way? So, give them a great tantric massage to each other. No sex (penetration or oral sex), it's nice to just get into the mood and warm up. Relax, get in, locate erogenous zones and create excitement.

AWAKENING YOUR INNER MIND AND LEARN HOW TO MAKE USE OF IT- YUR INNER MIND (YOUR STRENGTH)

Like no other, Tantra uses the body and the senses as a perfect way to get deeper into your soul, your true self. Tantra aren't forming patterns. Transform the tantric sex into an explorative game. Train and practice in sex using your senses, and train with them  to connect your heart.

Seeing for the first time everything like before but now with consciousness! Wasn't that ecstatic, when you saw your first sunset? Your first orgasm might not have been so successful but what about another one! Don't put back any of the things from your past. Emotionalize the way all is currently

INTROSPECT ALSO

Link all the thoughts to the world inside. Introspect (look inside) and have the total feeling of your body but how can your partner make sense of touch? Would you feel like hearing your own pleasure? What's turning you on? There is so much to play with. Use your

 

imaginations, Children! BE Innovative plus, naturally: be innovative. Use your own body (corps to bodies). Using devices if that's what you want: silk scarves, sounds, instruments, wonderful things. Looking? Sampling? Feeling? Sentiment? Listening?

 

hapter 13.   The Basis of Tantric Sex

When you begin to follow the path of tantric sex, you begin to find a change in yourself. You find yourself changing how you view yourself and how you view the world. You find yourself looking at relationships that will last a lifetime. Through your journey, you will learn that every man and woman have a certain level of divinity in them. You will start to view sex as a sacred act instead of just a physical act. You will also learn to love deeper and find that you are soaring to different levels of bliss.

You will only have a successful journey when you relieve yourself from any preconceived notions. You should not think of what you need to do and what your lover must do to please you. You will be able to identify new ideas about yourself and also embrace new ideas about yourself. You will also learn how to have great sex!

You will learn the basic concepts of tantric sex and identify new exciting ways to life and love.

The Yin and the Yang: Which is male, and which is female?

You must be familiar with the stereotypes that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This implies that men are assertive and extremely powerful while women are soft and fragile who are only fit for nurturing. There are other stereotypes that men do not show any feelings whatsoever, while women have a plethora of emotion that is ready to unleash itself in a second. It has also been said that women do not take credit for the work that they do, since being outgoing is something only men are familiar with. Over the last few years there has been a drastic change in the way men and women think.

 

Tantric sex is a firm follower of the fact that men and women do have opposite characteristics. This is the elementary principle of the Tantra. The eastern theories claim that the Yin represents feminism while the Yang represents masculinity. But there is no concrete proof that a woman cannot have Yang characteristics or that a man cannot have Yin characteristics. Rather than viewing men and woman as two entities, you should begin to focus on the energies. The Tantra believes in the amalgamation of these two energies.

Shiva and Shakti

The most common image of the Yin and the Yang is the Hindu divine couple Lord Shiva and Goddess Shakti. Lord Shiva represents the entire universe since he is considered the creator and Goddess Shakti represents the root of all energy. The union of the two deities creates a longing in you and every other human being to be treated as a god or a goddess. You will learn to worship your partner as a god or a goddess.

The male energy that is found in Lord Shiva  represents ecstasy while the energy in Goddess Shakti represents wisdom. This magical combination is what helps a person attain enlightenment.  This perfect couple is always represented in numerous entwined positions

– either dancing or embracing or standing together. There are other positions where Goddess Shakti is wrapped around Lord Shiva with her legs propped around his hips. The dancing position by far is the most sacred since they are able to free their spirit, giving them a chance to attain enlightenment.

Understanding the opposites

 

You may have made divisions amongst you and your partner. You have to first identify and understand these divisions to strike a balance between the opposite energies. There are quite a few stereotypical characteristics that you may relate to. You will have to identify those characteristics and make note of them. You have to go from one extreme to the next. You should ask your partner to do this too. You will then have to see how you can embrace the extreme characteristics that you and your partner have. You have to identify how you can strike a balance between the polarities that exist between you and your partner. You will have to identify the Yin to your partner’s Yang and vice versa.

You might now wonder if it is true that opposites attract. Sit back and think for yourself. You will be able to answer this question on your own. Try analysing your past relationships. See how you and your partner were different from each other. Identify whether the differences were complemented by each other. This will help you analyse your future relationships as well.

My partner is my beloved

Tantra is not mad love but sacred love. You are honouring your partner and cherishing your partner while making love. You will shower unconditional love on your partner. When you are talking to your partner, use loving words like ‘darling’ or ‘beloved’. You will find that those little words have aroused feelings of love within your partner. Call your partner with the aforementioned loving words when talking about him or her in public. You might find it terribly strange to do so but you will be sending out a message of love to the person you are speaking to.

 

The Desire Spectrum

You will find yourself with new views of desire. You may feel a desire every time you think of someone. You may comment on how you want a guy or how hot a girl is when you see them passing. You only feel these desires when you feel incomplete. Since you feel incomplete, you always want another person. You find yourself feeling needy and feeling wanted. But when you do get the person you want; you begin to want something more. You want someone prettier, more interesting and sometimes someone richer. Through tantric sex, you will be able to detach yourself from superficial needs. This will help you create a healthier relationship with your partner.

You feel empowered to say what you want!

When you find yourself empowered, you are able to set boundaries both during sex and in life in general. You find yourself with a new level of self – esteem. In tantric sex, you OWN your body and your soul. When your partner wants you to enter you, he must ask for your permission. You should not be afraid and have to say yes or no as the situation demands. You have to step and say that you do not want to be touched in a way that is not comfortable with. You empower your partner when you speak the truth this way. You will be giving your partner the methods to use to please you. You have to be okay with how you are touched and how you feel.

Benefits of Tantric Sex

Tantric sex helps bring two people together and attain a spiritual high, from way of conscious physical coupling. We highlight the various benefits of tantric sex and how it helps couples in  garnering a new level of pleasure.

 

Individual growth

Tantric sex helps couples grow individually. The process helps unify two souls, no doubt, but it also contributes towards the growth of the individual. A person grows mentally, physically and emotionally and betters the overall being of a person. For women, the Kundalini is ignited, which allows for a stronger feminine quality to shine through. She starts to glow and emits a positive attitude. The male energy or Shiva helps a man harness peace and strengthens his masculine features.

Exploring the limits

With quickies and self-pleasure techniques becoming all the more pertinent, people are missing out on the goodness of meaningful sex and often end up with not exploring their true sexual limits. That is where tantric sex steps in. Tantric sex helps individuals explore the absolute limits of their sexuality. When a couple engages in tantric sex, a very deep sort of connection is made, which allows each person to reach the ultimate limits of sexual experience. It turns  into a team effort where each individual helps the other person reel in maximum physical, emotional and spiritual pleasure.

Heightened orgasms

With tantric sex, the level of orgasm is heightened. The positions that are specified under this form of sex help people get into various positions, which help in invigorating all the right spots. There is widespread belief that women attain a higher level of orgasm as compared to men but that is not true. With tantric sex, both men and women reach a high level of orgasm and the various benefits of the process are availed by both the parties.

 

Knowing what works best

Once people get a hang of it, the process of tantric sex starts to become more enjoyable. With each successive session, people become aware of their own pleasure points and also understand as to where their partner’s “feel good” points lie. Once the pleasure points are identified, people automatically start to stimulate them and help bring about a great experience every single time. The physical and mental bond only deepens over time to a stage where the two people become dependent on each other’s sexual energy.

Timed bliss

When it comes to tantric sex, both individuals can time  their orgasms. Once people gain a control over their minds and bodies, they automatically tune into attaining mutual bliss. When two people have timed orgasms, a new form of energy flows  through each, which amplifies the experience. Tantric sex also advises staying connected after the act in order to continue creating a bond. Most practices end with stimulating other parts of the body such as the neck and shoulders, which helps bring the two people even closer.

Monogamy

It is widely believed that tantric sex can help a couple remain together for the rest of their lives. When two individuals connect on a deep level basis, they start becoming dependent. That dependency and connection cannot be mimicked, and so individuals  prefer having the same sexual partner. The frequency of sessions starts to increase, which helps deepen the bond each time and allows the individuals to remain loyal to each other.

Health benefits

 

Tantric sex helps bring about good health.

Women benefit as their monthly cycles become more regular, which helps their bodies remain in good shape.

Tantric sex can further the tendency of becoming pregnant, as the male hormones help produce stronger and healthier sperms.

Immunity is increased as the orgasms fuel body cells and help in the combating of diseases.

Both men and women start to appear younger as sex can take away stress, which can cause wrinkles to appear. It also helps to add a new glow to the face.

Apart from the physical benefits, tantric sex can help eliminate depression as orgasms help release a lot of serotonin. The serotonin keeps the cortisol at bay thus resulting in elevated moods.

Inhibitions

With tantric sex, people become more comfortable with their own bodies. Many people are extremely conscious about their bodies and more often than not end up having mediocre sessions owing to the fear of being judged. But with tantric sex, people start to embrace their own bodies and start to look at it as a vessel that will help them grow closer to god.

People start to let go and allow their bodies to experience physical pleasure. Various taboos and religious constraints are tackled, as  it is a known fact that tantric sex is a branch of meditation and various gods are invoked through the process.

Power struggle

 

Now people who watch the series “The Game of Thrones” will be aware of how Daenerys Targaryen (Khaleesi) breaks the rules and decides to pleasure her alpha-male husband by taking charge. Khal Drogo objects at first but gives in once he realizes as to how pleasurable the experience really is.

When it comes to sex, most people face a power struggle. Both men and women like to show that they are in power and often end up either upsetting the other or getting upset themselves. But  with tantric sex, that problem is eliminated as both parties have an equal control over the other and themselves. The positions allow both parties to be in charge and pleasure each other equally.

Happiness

Tantric sex can channel all the right forms of energy and help people lead extremely happy lives. Growing close to god can help satisfy people’s need to have a connection with the divine spirit.

Increase Love

Every person has a mind that is always busy thinking about some person or the other. These people may not be their partners. They may break off the relationship with their partner on the pretext of not feeling the love any longer. When you follow the path of tantric sex, you realize that you are able to love yourself, your partner and are able to nurture each other!

Empowers both men and women

Most women suffer low self – esteem. They feel that they do not have a body that is perfect. They may not have the power to say no to their partner when they are making love. They may not want to have sex but are forced into it because they cannot say no. They

 

may not tell their partner what they truly want which reduces the pleasure that they receive. However, in tantric sex, women are treated as goddesses and are honoured. They are  always given what they desire and what they deserve.

Men always worry about the size of their penis. They also worry about whether or not they are able to give their partners pleasure. Most often, they do not know how to commit to their partners and always worry about how long they can last while making love. When they follow the path of tantric sex, they feel empowered since they are honoured as god. They tend to become confident and are open to a relationship. They also become caring and shower their partner with immense love.

Immense Satisfaction

There are times when you have made love and have felt that there is something that was missing. You may feel that you are not finished with the sex. This happens often since sex does not go beyond intercourse. Sex alone does not touch a person’s heart. In tantric sex, you find that you are able to reach that state where you find yourself nurtured. You find that every cell in your body has found its mate in your partner’s body. When you have had sex that touches the heart, you find that you have a content mind and body.

Alleviates Depression

Tantric sex is your personal psychiatrist. It helps you overcome anxiety and depression. You may be tired and also find it difficult to eat or sleep. Tantric sex works wonders when it comes to the aforementioned problems. It helps in eradicating the problem. You

 

find yourself with an immense amount of energy that helps spread a peace and calm throughout your body and mind.

It helps in healing past wounds. You may have had experiences where you would have felt betrayed or even traumatized. Tantric sex helps in healing you since you are honoured and respected while making love and also in life. It also helps in deepening your connection with others relieving you from the depression that one has when they are alone. You will be able to create strong bonds that will last a lifetime.

Elevate sex

Tantric sex ensures that sex is not meaningless. You are able to ensure that there is sanctity in what you do during sex. Tantric sex makes sure that sex is not just a physical act but is an act that creates a strong connection between the partners. Tantric sex helps in increasing your pleasure. You find that you have techniques that help you feel a glow within yourself after sex. You will be able to direct your energy and manifest it in both the physical and spiritual world.

Create a positive effect on the world

Since you are gaining from the sex, you will create a positive approach towards the world. You will extend your positivity to every person you come across. These people could be altering the energy that exists within the different levels in the planet.

 

hapter 14.   How to Practice This Discipline

Tantra has some wonderful components to it, and a lot of people should consider using this. But there are a few considerations that you should have in mind before beginning the tantra path, and we’ll highlight a few of the different factors that go along with it, and a few considerations worth mentioning.

You Might not Get it Right the First Time

This is a big one because a lot of people think you’re just going to have hours and hours of mind-blowing sex, but the truth is, you might not even go ten minutes with the other person. It’s a type of practice that requires patience, and you should always set aside the time you spend with your partner for tantra. But, always understand that it might not be done right the first time, and you might not even get it right the second or third time. This is like anything else, you need to realize that it takes a bit for you to really get the right feelings that come from this, and that, with tantric sex, it takes a bit of time to really feel this type of connection.

Remember to Get Rid of Having Plans

This is something I always forewarn everyone with tantric sex. You need to have a plan in order to get into tantric sex. Having plans when you’re doing tantra is both good, and not so good. You need to realize and understand, and you have to realize that, with the right mindset you’ll get more out of this.

Our lives are very ingrained in making sure we get to X, Y, and Z, but we need to experience the fun of the moment, and you need to realize that while plans are good and all, get rid of the obsession with

 

having them, and you’ll realize that, with each passing moment it will make everything better. Having plans is nice, but it’s also good to make sure to have a realistic, understanding mindset of what it is that you need to do, and everything that’s in place. If you go into this obsessing over the goal, it won’t work.

It’s a Powerful Technique

While you’re probably doing this for sexual fulfilment, one of the biggest things to remember is that tantra does work with strong energy. The sexual energy that’s exuded with this is usually sublimated which means it creates a higher level of consciousness, but it is very strong, and it can do a lot of things.

Tantra is powerful, and you should make sure that you do meditate before you consider this action.

It is oftentimes a practice that most people don’t realize isn’t something that you should be jumping into. That’s why  we encourage you to do yoga, detox and purify the mind before you continue. Sometimes, when people engage in tantra, their sexual energies increase too soon, and so do their negative qualities. Sometimes, with tantra you might feel angrier sometimes, and sometimes, you need to understand that, if your mind isn’t clear and you’re not just focused on the other partner, it can manifest things you might not be ready for.

While this is more with the ritualistic path of tantra, that doesn’t mean it may not happen to you. Sometimes, people don’t realize how powerful this technique is, and that, the energy that you’re working with is very potent.

Work together

 

When it comes to tantra this isn’t a one-person party unless you’re doing tantric masturbation. The goal of tantra is to be able to work with your partner together to achieve the ultimate pleasure and make the other person feel good. But you don’t want orgasm as the goal. You should work together in order to make yourself both happy and satisfied. This is something a lot of couples miss at times. They go in only thinking about their goals of trying to get the other person off or giving them the tantric orgasm when it’s the process that means a lot more than anything else. So, don’t be afraid to make this a mutual thing, and don’t be afraid to make this work, and try to create a synergy behind it. That way, it will help with the pathway that you take, and you should always make sure that you’re willing to do that.

Make Sure you’re in Good Physical Health

While tantra doesn’t focus as much on the health of a person, it’s good to be in good physical, and mental health before you try this. That’s because, it can take a bit of time before the results come about, and if you’re not both on the same page with this, it can pose problems.

Don’t think you have to be some star athlete though when doing this. The idea behind good physical health is that you at least have some sexual stamina and health, and you feel physically good. That way, you’re happier and better than before. This is the way you should compose yourself when doing tantra, since physical and mental health are both very important, and you should always make sure that you can handle the effects of tantric sex before you begin.

If you’ve been at risk for illness and injury before, make sure to see your doctor before you begin with tantra, and if there are any medical

 

conditions, get clearance before you start with this. It is a bit of an important thing since most don’t realize the sheer impact of tantra on the body. It’s very powerful, so make sure you’re ready too.

No Distractions During Tantra

Finally, try not being distracted during tantra. Of course, this is again easier said than done. But you should treat tantra as a sacred moment, which means that you’re going to experience a lot of calmness of the mind, and a lot of racing throughs disappear.

His can be scary for those of us who are always  worried about things, always stressed, and unsure about this.

Oftentimes, if we’re overstimulated, it can affect the way your tantric experience goes. For a lot of people, the right tantric experience will change the way things go, and you have to, with tantra especially, understand that this energy isn’t a toy, and it’s not something to lay around with.

The distractions should be minimized. Keep electronics and other distractions out of the room during tantric sex, and you should go into it with a peaceful, calm mind. That’s why we encourage you to do breathing meditation before you begin since if you’re breathing evenly and calmly, it can help with keeping you grounded, especially when dealing with the energies, since they’re strong, and it’s better if you take the time to properly understand and fortify your own personal wellness with your energies, and the tensions that are there.

Tantra is a very fun thing to do, and it’s a wonderful way to bolster the connection between you and your partner but you must understand the effects of it, and the cautions you must take with

 

tantra. The right mindset will change your life, and you should, with tantra especially, understand the impact of it over time, and the effects of it as well.

 

hapter 15.   Techniques to Learn How to Do Tantric Massage

Massage is defined as a succession of strokes performed to promote muscular relaxation. However, tantric massage is more  than that. The tantric touch stimulates, nurtures, and heals the body, the mind, the emotions, and the spirit.

When done on its own, tantric massage can be an erotic experience. It can also turn into a therapeutic journey. When done prior to sex, tantric massage is a means of prolonging and building pleasure. When used as foreplay, the tantric touch relaxes your mind and your body, so it becomes more receptive to your partner’s gifts. It enables your sexual arousal to mount before it reaches its pinnacle. This way, your orgasms can become longer and more intense.

Tantric sex is safe and healthy lovemaking. In the early dating phase, some couples may feel pressured to engage in intercourse before they’re emotionally attached or psychologically prepared. Using tantric massage as a pleasurable alternative for intercourse relieves them of this pressure. Tantric massage can be a fun and sexy way of getting to know each other deeper so that you’ll have ample time to emotionally connect with each other. This way, once you finally decide to have sex, it becomes more meaningful  and more satisfying.

What Are the Benefits of Tantric Massage?

The busy and hectic life that we lead these days affects both men and women, and it causes several physical, emotional, and even sexual disorders. Stress doesn’t discriminate, and it could trouble a person belonging to any age group, sex, or age. People need   some

 

relief if they want to enjoy their life to the fullest and they also have to replenish their strength to keep up with their hectic lifestyle. Massage can help in providing the much-needed comfort and help you relax.

Among all the different types of massages that exist, tantric massage is gaining popularity. The main aim of a tantric massage is to provide you with a sensual experience that will also help in improving your health. Even though it is erotic, it helps the whole body to relax and has got several benefits.

Stress Buster

Tantric massage can help you clear your mind, make your body feel light, and help you relax. You can let go of all the tension and stress. Therefore, a session of tantric massage is recommended whenever you feel stressed. Stress is something that is capable of making you feel miserable, and if it isn't handled properly, it can cause several health problems as well.

Sex education

In many cultures around the world, sex education isn't adequate, and this leaves both the genders unprepared for any sexual interaction or even sensuality. A tantric massage is the best way in which you can learn about your body. It provides you with a serial interaction that will help you to understand how your body works. It provides you with an insight into how your body works and the different parts that will make you feel different sensations. When you do interact with your partner, it will be helpful to know beforehand itself what excites and pleases you both.

Premature ejaculation

 

Premature ejaculation usually tends to occur due to the pressure of performance. In most of the societies and cultures, men are considered to be the “doers,” and this does put an added pressure of performance of them and causes them to ejaculate prematurely. Tantric massage helps in taking this pressure off them and lets them just enjoy the sexual act. When there isn't an expectation of them to perform well and without any specific goal in mind, men can perform well sexually. This will help in rectifying the problem of premature ejaculation. Tantric massage will help in teaching you to enjoy the moment, and during intercourse, it would also improve a man’s ability to hold off his climax for a while longer. It is all about drawing out the pleasure to make the experience more intense.

Orgasm in older men

As the time passes by, and while the body starts aging, the hormone levels in the body tend to decline and because of this older man feel little or even no sexual arousal and this means that they aren’t capable of reaching an orgasm. Tantric massage can be beneficial for older men. This sensual massage helps in stimulating their senses and also helps in the production of the sex hormones and thereby helping them deal with problems like erectile dysfunction and the lack of achieving an orgasm.

Women and sex

In most of the cases, women don’t enjoy intercourse. This could be caused due to various reasons ranging from their lover’s inability to please them or even their lack of knowledge about their body. Women are sensual creatures, and it takes them a while longer to achieve an orgasm. Most might not even be aware of their bodies  or

 

what they like and dislike. Tantric massage will help them in understanding their bodies and their needs better. It will help them in deriving greater pleasure and even sensuality during any form of sexual activity.

Tantric massage helps in awakening your senses. It is sensual, we tend to perceive the world around us through our senses, and the awakening of the senses sharpens this perception of ours. Tantric massage is a therapeutic massage that has various health  benefits. It can help in relieving body pains and aches, stimulating your immune system, and increasing your fertility as well. Many women can’t orgasm, and tantric massage helps in integrating your mind and body thereby facilitating their ability to reach an orgasm. Tantric massage tends to be empowering on various levels regardless of the characteristics of an individual. Tantric massage also helps in providing the greatest form of relaxation and pleasure for your mind, body, and soul without having to reciprocate.

Tantric massage involves the massaging of all the parts of the body. Having one’s genitals massaged is quite a fulfilling experience. It also helps in creating a conscious connection between all the areas of a person’s life. A massage without any expectations is quite a liberating experience. Tantric massage helps in letting go of the illusion of separation that exists and remedies this divide that exists in every individual’s life. It can also pave the way for a full-body orgasm.

For a person who is shy or who has gone through a lot of suffering, tantric massage might be more therapeutic than a regular massage. When their receptiveness and confidence start to grow, they  might be open for a complete tantric experience. Tantric massage is all

 

about celebrating an individual, their strengths and remedying their weaknesses. Since it is a full body massage, it requires the individuals to let go of their fears as well as inhibitions for a pleasurable experience. Tantra is all about celebrating  and cherishing one’s body. There is nothing sinful about it. Tantra followers believes that the body is a temple within which the soul lives.

Tantric massage has got various benefits to offer. The benefits slightly vary from men to women. Women experience sex and sexual energy in a way that is different from men. Men are usually considered to be sexual creatures, and women are usually sensual creatures. Tantric massage has got the power to change the way an individual would approach sex. It is quite an amazing experience.

Tantric massage will help men learn to enjoy and understand the manner in which they can experience sexual  pleurae throughout their whole body instead of simply focusing on the lingam. There’s more to sexuality than just their penis. The different movements with sexual energy that is quite phenomenal. Also, this pattern can help men to experience a full-body orgasm or go through a multi- orgasmic state. Yes, you read it right. Multiple orgasms  aren’t a myth. Like men, women will also be able to attain multiple orgasms provided they let go of control and let go of themselves. There are no expectations; there are no rules. It is all about enjoying one’s sexuality without any restrictions. Pleasure isn’t restricted to the female or male genitalia. and the techniques used in tantric massage will help men to create a connection between their penis and the rest of their body. In this manner, their whole body would be vibrating

 

Like women, even men tend to store their traumas and other negative emotions and experiences around their genitals. This could be due to any traumatic event or occurrence like childhood abuse. Most of the time this remains unknown, or any critical self-image may be caused due to excessive self-judgment due to any emotional stress. Regardless of the reason of origin of these negative feelings, they do exist. Tantric massage will help in getting rid of these blocks and will help men get confident about their sexuality. The loving and the safe environment, coupled with a caring partner, make this massage exceptional.

Men will also learn about receiving pleasure without having to touch or give anything back in return. During a tantric massage, men simply need to take a step back and relax, while their partner does the massage. On a psychological level, most men are not used to giving up control, and they are more likely to be expected to be “performing.” They tend to receive most of their pleasure  by touching, grabbing, looking and even giving. They only need to let go and relax for enjoying this kind of massage. Well, relinquishing their control and placing their trust wholly in their partner can be quite a turn-on for the partner as well. In giving, they indeed are receiving as well. Relinquishing control can be quite erotic. Being aware that you are the reason for all the pleasure that your partner is experiencing is quite a rush, and it holds true for both men and women.

In continuation of the above point, men do understand women better after a tantric massage. By relinquishing control and being submissive, they will be able to understand what it feels like to be receptive and this will make them more sensitive. Let someone else lead them for a change. Women, this is your chance to take  control.

 

The same applies to women as well. If the receiver is a woman, then her partner gets to have unrestricted and unbridled access to his partner’s body. Perhaps, being vulnerable wouldn’t have ever felt this good.

Men will also be able to experience high levels of pleasure without this pleasure being coupled with an ejaculation. This will make them excellent lovers. This particular massage technique will help them in harnessing their sexual energy. To put it simply, it will allow them to hold off for longer. They will be able to engage in sex for a longer time without the need to ejaculate, and they control their sexual energy that will help them do so. For women, an orgasm is simply a bonus of a tantric massage. Their bodies are designed in such a manner that they can keep going even while experiencing an orgasm.

Men and women will also benefit from tantric massage because it allows them to deepen their spiritual bond with their partner as well. They will get to understand the manner in which they should use their sexual energy and then channel it towards higher levels of their being, something that goes beyond sex. They will learn to open their hearts and love fully, bare their souls to their partners and it will obviously let them get more creative about with their sexual acts as well. It will help men form a bond with their partner that surpasses any physical bond that they might previously have had. A bond that goes beyond physicality is quite strong, and it will deepen the relationship.

Bottom line: To sum it up, tantric massage is not just a sensual massage that helps in providing sensual pleasure. It also has many other health benefits. Tantric massage can improve your sex life    as

 

well, regardless of your gender. Both men and women can derive great pleasure from it.

 

hapter 16.   Tantric Sex Positions

Tantric sex is meant to be a pleasurable experience that is enjoyed by both partners. Enjoy yourself as you explore your body and your flexibility together with your partner, and don’t worry too much about getting the techniques entirely right. What’s more important is that you savour this intimate moment together, pleasuring each other and renewing your love and respect for each other’s bodies.

The Butterfly

Tantric sex allows lovers to explore many new and different positions which they may not have before. With each new exploration comes the possibility of new heights of pleasure. Like with The Butterfly. This position allows both partners to look at each other during the movement, maintaining eye contact. The woman will be in control of the movements here, and she can choose to start off nice and slow, alternating between slightly more vigorous movements in between (but still maintaining control of her muscles and movement).

To start, the man would sit in a comfortable armchair. His legs would be spread wide open. The woman would then sit on top of him, facing him and looking into his eyes as she slowly initiates the penetration. The woman’s feet will be rested firmly on the armchair for support throughout this movement, while her arms will be wrapped around her lover’s shoulders. Once in a while, the woman can place her hand against her partner’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart. The man is also free to use his hands to stimulate the woman for added pleasure by stroking her breasts and her body, showering her with light kisses.

 

The Mermaid

A variation of The Butterfly pose, this one offers more comfort and a better grip as the movement is performed. The man, however, will only be able to play with his lover’s feet in this position. Which is a good thing, since feet are considered one the most erogenous and sensitive parts of a woman’s body.

In this position, the woman assumes the same pose she did with The Butterfly, but this time there will be a pillow under her buttocks to elevate it slightly. The woman’s legs should be positioned at a 90- degree angle, allowing the man to penetrate her.

The Bow

This position helps to amplify the sexual energy that flows between both partners, and the woman can achieve what is known as a cervical-uterine orgasm when she is in this position. This position will allow the man to love at his own pace, setting his own rhythm. It helps to create a very deep and intimate position because here is where the man can penetrate a woman enough to reach her cervix.

In this position, the woman will be lying down on her back, while her lover is between her legs. The woman will then cross her calves and place her feet upon her partner’s chest, which allows for deeper penetration to happen.

The G-Force

This one is an extremely sexy pose and for the man, offers complete control over the pleasure he exudes on his lover’s body. When performed correctly, extreme pleasure can be derived from this pose for both the man and the woman. The woman will be lying down on her back in this position as the man kneels between her legs. The

 

man will then lift the woman’s torso off the bed. He can then either stretch her legs out to a 90-degree angle or place her feet below his chest and penetrate her.

The Splitting Bamboo

This is one of the Kama Sutra’s many postures, which induces great levels of pleasure for both the man and the woman.

In this position, the woman starts off by lying on her back, with one leg raised in the air as if she was doing “the split.” The woman’s leg would be rested on her partner’s shoulder while he is positioned between her legs. An alternative to this move would be where the woman is tilted sideways slightly, supporting herself on one arm, raising her upper body slightly so she can look into her partner’s eyes while he is thrusting against her.

The Apes

The full name of this movement is called Apes in the Third Spring Month, which can seem like a rather unusual name until you witness the position and understand why. If you’re looking for an excellent way to stimulate a woman’s G- spot, this move is one way to do it. In fact, this move is beneficial for both lovers, as they will be experiencing sublime levels of pleasure together as their energies rise, leading towards an orgasm.

Beginning in a standing position, the woman will bend over, with her legs slightly apart. The woman will either place her hands on the ground to support her (depending on her flexibility) or on a chair or the edge of the bed. The man will embrace the woman from behind, placing his hands on her hips as he penetrates her from behind with deep,   controlled   movements.   The   man   can   alternate between

 

holding the woman’s hips during this movement or using his fingers to stimulate her clitoris while he continues to thrust against her. Holding onto the woman’s thighs will allow for deeper penetration, depending on your comfort level and flexibility.

The Sock Fitting

This position is suitable for couples who are still working on their flexibility at the beginning of this tantric practice. The benefits that this position will bring is that it allows the man to reach a woman’s G- spot. It also allows the couple to maintain eye contact with each other throughout the movement while having their hands free to stimulate and pleasure each other.

In this position, the woman will be lying down on her back (you may use a pillow to support your head if you wish). The man will position himself between the woman’s legs, straddling her legs with  his hands as he penetrates her. When the woman is in this position, she can arch her pelvis upwards so she can match her partner’s rhythmic movements.

The Embrace

This position allows the woman to have good control of her vaginal muscles, and she able to move in rhythm with her partner, matching his tempo. It also allows for deeper penetration for both partners. It is also an extremely erotic position, as both partners will be able to look at each other, communicating their love with their eyes  throughout the movement.

In this position, the woman will be lying down on her back with her legs in the air, crossed at the ankles. The man will position himself standing above her, holding onto her calves as he penetrates her.

 

The Grip

Similar to the regular missionary style, but with a little twist to it. If you’re not feeling too energetic on a particular day, this move is a good one to use because it allows you to move at a slower pace. The Grip allows the woman to rock her pelvis from side to side in a slow, even tempo to match her partner’s movements.

In this position, the woman will be lying down on her back, with her hips raised slightly (you may place a pillow or cushion underneath your bottom for added support). The man will position himself between the woman’s legs, and she would wrap her legs around his pelvis. The woman would cross her legs at the ankles around the man. If the woman is really flexible, she can choose to have her knees and feet bent on the bed or surface too.

The Turned Dragon

When done correctly, this position is thought to be able to bring great happiness, contentment, and complete fulfilment for the woman. The man is thought to be able to achieve a flourished state of health with this position because of the happiness that is associated with The Turned Dragon if it is practiced with sexual continence.

The woman begins by lying down on her back. The man will lie down on top of her, using the bed to support his knees during the movement. The woman then slowly lifts her pelvis to meet her lovers as he enters her, looking deep into her eyes as he does. The man also has the option of caressing other parts of the woman’s body during this move - such as her arms or breasts - during this movement for added pleasure. The man should move with force and

 

strength during this movement, while still maintaining complete control throughout this movement.

The Dog

Also referred to as the doggy style in regular sex. This is another good position that allows your deep penetration. This position is especially beneficial for the woman because it allows for the stimulation of her G-spot. This position also allows the man to be able to do several things. For example, he could lean forward and hold or massage the woman’s breasts, use his fingers to stimulate her clitoris, of simple hold her from behind for deeper penetration.

In this position, the woman would kneel on all fours, with her buttocks facing her

Partner. The man can either be standing or kneeling behind the woman. Both partners should move in sync to each other’s movements. Remember, there is no need to go at a rapid pace.

The Elephant

The man gets to control his pace and adjust as needed to deepen his movements in this position. The woman is also able to entice her partner by moving seductively in this position, arching her back with each movement that he makes.

To get things started, the woman will be lying down on her side, with one arm stretched above her head, supporting her head as she lay down on her arm. The man will hold onto the woman’s waist as he slowly penetrates her. The woman can arch one leg during this movement, which will allow the man to penetrate even deeper during the movement.

 

The Padlock

Both partners will get a good view of each other’s faces in this very sexy position. To get this pose started, the woman will have to be seated on a high surface, like a table or a chair. Maybe even the kitchen counter, if you’re feeling adventurous. The woman will then lean back, balancing her upper torso and head by supporting herself on her elbows. The man positions himself between her legs and prepares for penetration as both partners find their rhythm and rock back and forth, gazing into each other’s eyes.

The Double Decker

The Kama Sutra even recommends that women sometimes take on the more active role every now and then during intercourse. This position provides the woman with the freedom to have full control.

In this position, the man will be lying down on his back while the woman sits atop him in a vertical position. The woman can place her feet on the ground for additional support as she moves in a slow rhythm and pace together with her partner. The man can place his hands on her buttocks as moves forwards and backward, or up and down on his erect penis.

What to Keep in Mind During Tantric Sex?

Let’s reiterate again that orgasm is not the goal of tantric sex, although if you’re doing it right, that is where it will eventually lead to. The aim is always to deepen the profound connection which exists between you and your partner. If this is your first time attempting tantric sex, keep your movements slow and controlled, there is no need for speed. This is not a race to the finish line, but rather a pleasurable moment to be savoured as long as possible.

 

Don’t forget to control and regulate your breathing. The breaths should come from your diaphragm instead of your lungs. Pace yourself to increase the length of your lovemaking sessions. Let the energy gradually build itself up, embrace it, and don’t resist it. Maintain eye contact whenever possible. Engage all your senses for maximum pleasure.

 

hapter 17.   Attainment of Ecstasy

Since you have set the stage and have tried to take your partner  on a journey of bliss, it is wise to follow the next natural thing- lovemaking. But we are still in a tantric moment and ought to follow the way things are done. You still need to follow the  ritualistic process to ensure you and your partner enjoy the pleasure that comes with it.

Here, you will enjoy some of those things. But first, you need to understand that bliss is being happy to a state of disbelieve. This is a state where you are in deep delight in such euphoria  that supersedes the regular type of joy. It is regarded as the highest form of happiness.

You can only truly enjoy your bliss by being present in the moment. You can also enjoy it when you breath and channel your energy towards injuring your partner is enjoying every bit of pleasure. It is when you are accepting and giving out love.

This is when you magically activate your body and make the mind still. You channel your sexual energy to get to a higher state of consciousness. The method prescribed here would enable you to get the highest form of delight you will ever want.

Synchronize Your Energy: Everyone knows that life is stressful. So, you won't always assume you and your partner will forever have a static mood. You must truly understand this before you go into the beauty of this wonderful experience.

Since this knowledge is there for you, the next thing to do is to seek ways to synchronize your energy. If not, it will be only one of you

 

trying to make it work, and that's not what you want at this point. Synchronizing your energy can be done through breathing.

You can check that out. It doesn't matter the position available for your breathing. You also sit with your backs against one another. That way, you are feeling your partner from the back. Ensure you both chants together as you try the breathing synchronization.

Eye Gazing: This is one of the essential practices that can't be overlooked, especially as it is the most important you will learn from any tantra teacher. It helps in getting intense experience when you are both together and doing everything right.

Looking into your partner's eyes can be very difficult. Looking deeply into their eyes can arouse intimacy, and that's why many people have always run from it. But when you are deliberate about it, you will easily connect better with them on every level. It will make you feel vulnerable, self-conscious, or even embarrassed. These are the normal things you will see with looking into your partner's eyes. The aim primarily is to cause intimacy and openness.

With it, you are going deeper into them. This time, you easily see their eye colour, lashes, and expression. You can look into their soul. It might take a deeper breath.

Mix Eye Gazing with Deep Breath: This is something you might find hard to do, but it is worth it for various reasons:

It helps you still your mind as you focus on a single thing. With this method, your mind is not distracted from what you are  doing. Instead, you are kept in the present.

It emits a feeling of attention. When you stare at your partner while controlling  your  breath,  you  make  them  know  you  are      paying

 

attention to them. This gives off a good feeling.

You can confront your fear of deep connection. Many are afraid of releasing themselves to their beloved, but with this, you are ready to go deep into the feeling with your partner.

You are able to go deep beyond mere pettiness into each other's space. You both will easily overlook distraction.

Pick the Left Eye: You will need to look predominantly into their left eyes because it that receives most of the sexual signals. You have to be as relaxed as possible, and don't be afraid to blink.

If you are ever distracted, you don't have to worry much because you can start all over. After all, it is not a staring competition. Be receptive. Watch out for their body's reaction like  squinting, coughing, shifting, and lips tightening. Don't worry. You  will eventually become still.

Heart Hold: This is when you send signals from your hand to your partner's heart. To do this:

- Place your right over their heart.

- Let your partner do the same.

- Now, imagine sending out love energy into them.

With both of your hands as the channel, imagine receiving more profound love from them.

All that matters is that you are experimenting with different places of your body. Be as slow as you can to feel every energy emitting from your bodies- you and your partner.

STIMULATE THEIR SENSES

 

In tantric lovemaking, you have to honour every part of their body. In other words, the implication of all this is that every aspect of your body is involved. Thus, for you to create a better connection with your partner, you need to try some of the following:

Mouth and Face Trace: There are places around your eyes and lips that are so sensitive to touches. You simply to gently find them. The woman's lip is somehow connected to their genitals, and thus licking or sucking them would give your partner the same sexual feelings they would have usually gotten when you touch their genital.

For them to enjoy it, giving you the pleasure of continuing, press your lips to those of your partner, and make moves. This is not the kissing aspect. Now, use your fingertips to make a motion.

Then, continue to the other area of their mouth and cheeks. You can then blindfold them, afterwards, and give them different morsels, especially strawberries, cherries covered in chocolate, a scoop of ice cream, and so many other things.

Eyes: Let your fingers roam around their eyes because the eyes are the windows to the soul. Be gentle as you touch their eye socket and make circles around the corner, tracing. Explore this part and stare in wonder as you do this.

Note: This is a tantric spot that will be useful in taking in the right scent. At this point, they will almost enjoy any scent coming from you. Thus, it is wise to give them something memorable.

Try stimulating their sense of smell by blindfolding them and passing scents, including scented oils, oranges and wine under their noses.

Sniff out the different parts of their body like animals would do. Let your nose take the role of your finger in stimulating your partner.

 

Kisses: As you understand that kisses are of different types. We have the peck on the cheek and the soul-shaking experiencing kiss. With tantra in play, you are here to stir up their Chakra and also make them release energy from the different parts of their body.

Kissing is one way you can go through every part of your partner's body. You have the chance to use a firm or soft method. Some can even be light or with more pressure in place, while others  are shallow kisses while others are deep ones.

To enjoy your kissing segment, understand the types available.

Lipping: This is the type of kissing that involves being soft on the kiss. It is enjoying the moist side of each other's lips as well as the dry parts. This way, you are connecting on every level.

Tonguing: This technique is such that you use your tongue to lip their lips and touch the inner parts of their cheeks. You can use it to touch the upper palate of their mouth. This is the roof of the mouth. You can even use it to caress their tongues.

Love Bite: This should be gentle kisses that should be used  to arouse one another. This should be done in a better means than any other.

Suck and Blow: These two are together because they are sampling the opposite of one another. It is more like an inhaling and exhaling each other's lips.

When you kiss each other, you should take turns in doing the five steps. It shouldn't be done in quick succession; instead, take as many times as you can. Remember, you have scheduled a lot of time for this.

 

Hand Touch: This is one known for its healing capability. For this to be enjoyed, you might consider massaging them. Take a turn in massaging each other. Start by touching their hands

Remember Their Ears Too: Don't neglect their ears. Touching or kissing the ear is one erotic thing to do.

 

hapter 18.   Female Orgasm, Multiple Orgasm

There are some important fundamental differences which tie in with the way the Taoists look at the energy of the different sexes. According to Taoist theory, women's yin energy is darker, cooler and deeper. It is capable of 'feeding' male energy without being depleted because there is simply so much of it. But a woman's yin energy does need the spark of fire of the male yang energy sometimes to 'kick start' it into life. That's the wonderful thing about tantric sex: both sides of the couple are needed - the male and the female - the yin and the yang. Without the other both are less, but together, (and it is more than just the combined power of two energy systems) they combine into the power of the universe - the Tao itself - the Supreme Ultimate. In the tantric texts there is no restriction put on the number, frequency or intensity of female orgasms, unlike the male. There is no 'seed' for women to retain, therefore they can feel free to enjoy, explore and experiment with their sexuality as much as possible.

Knowing you own sexuality

Firstly, a woman has to know what that sexuality means. She should know her own body, how it responds, what it is capable of, how to train it, what that training consists of, what to expect for her sexuality and, most importantly, how she can channel that sexuality towards a higher purpose - that of spirituality, which is what tantric sex is all about.

Liberated lovers

Because of the way most Western women are brought up, their sexual nurturing has been less than that of the East where women

 

are taught from an early age how to improve and enjoy their lovemaking. In the West there can often be a barrier, either mental or moral, that women experience when it comes to enjoying their sexuality. This barrier has to be removed before women can take their true and rightful place as liberated, fully sexual, empowered and satisfied lovers. The practice of tantric sex is a great help  in removing that barrier. If enjoying sex was only about enjoying sex then it would not be so helpful; but when you give it a spiritual purpose then it somehow becomes acceptable – you are not just a lover but also a lover of God, a Shakti, a living representation of the female deity on Earth, and that's a powerful responsibility - don't let Her down.

The different types of orgasm

The tantric texts have always recognised that women play an important part in sex and that they are 'special' by nature of the fact that they can have several different types of orgasm. In the next exercise we will explore those different types and how to achieve them.

Exercise 1

Self-exploration

For a lot of women in the West an intimate knowledge of their own bodies is something frowned on - it's just not nice. But how can you be the consort of Shiva if you are shy or coy? By exploring our own bodies, we learn how they work, when we know how they work we can use that information to help our over please us and to please him as well.

The clitoral orgasm

 

The clitoris is located just in front of and above the vaginal opening. The tantras call it by various names including the 'lotus bud' and the 'jade pearl'. When stroked and caressed by you or your lover it will bring you to orgasm. Feel that orgasm – how does it manifest throughout your body? Just as you orgasm try panting vigorously, does it delay or enhance your orgasm? Can you always achieve a clitoral orgasm? Do you need a special time of day? Is your libido lower in the mornings? Where do you go in your mind when you are masturbating? Can you masturbate freely in front of your lover? There are no right or wrong answers.

The vaginal orgasm

As its name implies it is brought about by internal stimulation but how does it feel to you? Is it different from your clitoral orgasm? Can you achieve the vaginal orgasm? Most research suggests that a  lot of women need a much longer period of internal stimulation than their male lovers are capable of for them to experience the vaginal orgasm. This is why it's important for men to learn the techniques, and to be more considerate of their partner's cooler, slower-to-rouse energy.

The G-Spot orgasm

Most people think the G-spot is a recent invention or discovery - but it's not. The tantric texts talk about the 'hidden jade moon' or the 'heart of the lotus bud'. The G-spot is to be found about an inch or two inside the vulva on the top wall; it's a small area with a slightly rougher feel to it. Perhaps a good way to find it is to think of it as the underside of the clitoris - the yin or hidden side of the yang or external clitoris. Some women report no extra sensation here    while

 

others recommend it as an area to be stimulated for orgasm. And the orgasm induced by G-spot stimulation is different from the other two types. If a woman's lover is considerate and skilful, he may be able to stimulate the G-spot with the head of his penis. This is why a lot of the techniques you will find and involve the man making turning or twisting movements with his penis; it affords extra stimulation above and beyond the normal thrusting that most men seem to think is their only option.

All three

Some women, and again it may depend on the patience and skill of their lovers, claim that it is possible to have three orgasms simultaneously: one in each of the three areas. You may like to try this, although it's best not to be 'goal oriented' or you may miss the journey. Once we start setting 'targets' we open ourselves up to disappointment and false expectations. However, as an exercise it's useful to know what sort of ultimate is possible; this lets us know what we are capable of. If the male lover is skilful, he may be able to use his penis to stimulate the vaginal orgasm and, at the same time, using his thumb and index finger stimulate both the clitoris and G- spot. Some women also report an anal orgasm if their sphincter muscles are stimulated gently.

Nectar of the moon

The Taoist texts also suggest that a woman is capable of a sort of internal ejaculation. This seems to be a very moist flow from the vulva at the point of orgasm. Some women produce copious fluid at that moment while others don't. The Taoists called this the 'nectar of the moon' and regarded it as most beneficial for men to taste as it

 

was the most highly charged yin essence that they could absorb. The Taoists called saliva the 'jade spring' and also recommended that men could taste that and absorb the yin essence from it.

The PC muscles

For the woman, development of the PC muscle (pubococcygeus muscle) will be most useful. To first find it and experience it the woman should insert one finger into the vagina and grip that finger with her vaginal muscles. That muscle action is the PC muscle being used. Once you have felt it, it should be easy to tighten and relax it with practice. The tantric texts recommend flexing it at least seventy- five times a day both to strengthen it and to learn to control it. Once it has developed it should be capable of gripping quite strongly. Your lover will benefit from the stimulating effect it can have; by tightening it and relaxing it you should be able to squeeze him to orgasm without moving any other parts of you. Strengthening the PC muscle is especially beneficial to women after childbirth. Some women who have practised tantric sex for a long time claim to be able to set up a series of 'ripple' actions in their vaginas that can be most stimulating for their partner; the same ripple action that a woman can perform with her mouth and throat when she is stimulating her partner orally.

Communication

Some women find it quite hard to orgasm during intercourse and need stimulating by hand or orally. This should be incorporated into your lovemaking so that your lover doesn't feel he's 'letting  you down' or not 'good enough', we talked about tantric sex being about communication. If you don't tell your partner what you  want and need, he will not be able to read your mind. There are some tantric

 

lovers who seem to know instinctively what a woman requires but they are usually very experienced in Eastern love techniques and have worked with the energy of sex for years. You and your partner may well be just starting out. If you are new to this form of sex, then it's only fair to give him some encouragement and help. You will have to go slowly and explain clearly what you need and want, and then he will get more skilled and that will benefit both of you. You have to remember that Western sexual technique education for both men and women is usually non-existent. Most men are hot impulsive lovers who have to work hard to become considerate patient partners; that's not because they are ill-mannered or rude or selfish - it's merely that they don't know any different; they've never been shown or taught that there is an alternative. Once shown they will never go back to their old way of loving. But you have to tell them what is needed.

Oral Loving

When a man loves your vulva with his lips, mouth and tongue he is worshipping the female deity - you are the Shakti and you are feeding his energy. Good oral sex takes time and patience - you will have to communicate again: tell him what pressure you like, where and how to move his tongue, which bits to suck on, where to blow softly. Teach him how to use his fingers inside you at the same time as licking your clitoris. And if you want really long sessions of oral sex then just hold his penis while he loves you; most men get to feel remote and cut off if there is no penile stimulation while they are loving you. If you hold them the energy is completing a circuit.

Bear in mind that during sex you have a role to play - as does your partner. Your role is to feed his energy so he can go on loving you for

 

as long as you need. If he has an orgasm, he may find that the energy dissipates completely for a while and he will need to rest, perhaps even to sleep, to recover that energy. His role is to orchestrate and be active; your role is to participate and be creative. He worships your Shakti; you feed his Shiva. Without one the  other is lessened; together you are a powerful force. You will be able to maintain your levels of energy better if you are aware of your partner's need to orgasm and you should delay this as long as possible. If he is learning the lock method or the squeeze technique outlined and then it's in your own best interests to help him as much as possible. Women often, quite rightly, complain that their lover is too quick, or doesn't spend enough time on foreplay, then they do everything in their power to make their lover orgasm quickly.  It makes sense to help them delay the male orgasm. You will be able to have as many orgasms as you like and, each time you do, you are feeding your lover's energy. Once he has ejaculated, his energy level plummets. If he is learning and practising the ejaculate-less orgasm you will together be able to reach new heights of pleasure.

One of the most significant parts of Tantric sex is that it separates between climaxing during sex and discharging. If you feel that you aren't completely fulfilled significantly in the wake of having discharging, which is because you probably won't have encountered a climax. Accordingly, it isn't fundamental for a man to discharge to have a climax. By using the various techniques for controlling a climax that has been referenced in the way of thinking of Tantra, you will have the option to encounter different climaxes and climaxes that will keep going for longer than the ones that you are typically used

 

to. Doesn't this sound awesome? Who said ladies alone are fit for encountering various climaxes?

There's a specific Tantric method that you can use, and it will permit you to have different climaxes. However, before getting yourself familiar with this specific degree of sexual ability, you should accomplish power over your climaxes. There are three distinct procedures that you can use for dealing with your climaxes.

Keep your cool

This may sound bizarre, yet the most ideal manner by which you can delay your intercourse is by keeping your cool. If you feel that your climax is quick drawing nearer, and afterward you will essentially need to quiet down, hinder your breathing and your pushing movements also. Remember this may likewise prompt some ponderousness with your partner if you don't convey about it. Try not to feel ungainly and tell your partner your explanation behind easing back down.

Go slowly

When you begin engaging in sexual relations with your partner, ensure that you are taking things gradually during the underlying stage. The slower the sex is, the more exceptional your climax would be a direct result of all the development. Ensure that your breathing is standard and when you feel that, your climax is drawing nearer; follow the means referenced in the past points. Quiet yourself, hinder your breathing, and grasp your pelvic muscles.

When you feel that your climax is dying down, and afterward you can continue your pushing movement by and by. Continue rehashing this procedure  for  whatever  length  of  time  that  you  can  hold       off.

 

Construct your energy and continue going. This development will make your climax last more, and it will be all the more impressive. When you feel that you are near climax, attempt and grip your pubic muscles while it is going on. This won't just keep you from discharging, yet it will let you experience the delight of a climax and not lose your erection. This implies you can prop up considerably in the wake of encountering a climax, doesn't that sound great? After a little practice, you will have the option to hold off  for  some time longer and engage in sexual relations for quite a long time together.

 

hapter 19.   Improve Your Performance Thanks to These Tips

The principle motivation behind Tantra is to assist you with accomplishing splendid climaxes that you have been precluded in light of the fact that from securing your standard sexual practices. Notwithstanding, this doesn't imply that Tantra ought to be dealt with daintily. Consider Tantra an erotic exercise. Tantric sex is viewed as more charming than going through hours together at the rec centre, yet the measure of physical effort that your body encounters can be contrasted with that you may understanding while at the same time playing out any overwhelming activities.

Additionally, there are various degrees of Tantric sex. Essentially bouncing into Tantra with no experience or primer practice may improve your sexual coexistence, yet it is so much better when you participate in some type of pre-sex warm up practice that will help in setting the mind-set and working up some expectation concerning what is yet to come. There are a few manners by which you can heat up, however perhaps the most ideal way that could be available is give your partner a back rub and have your partner give you one also. This will extricate up your muscles, which is significant in  light of the fact that solid muscles can hinder a full body climax.

The back rub that you are providing for set up your darling for tantric sex has some particular standards that are joined to it, alongside a system that is intended to uplift the sexual affectability and make the body progressively open to assist sexual incitement. Additionally, this back rub can be combined with a procedure that can be used on a lady  to  cause  her  to  accomplish  a  climax.  This  will     contribute

 

extraordinarily to the nature of tantric sex in light of the fact that accepting one climax makes an individual patient for the following one, and this furnishes you with the fundamental open door to coax your partner and draw out the sex.

The Use of Oil

The main thing that you need before you can give your sweetheart a pre-sex knead is oil. Oil is an incredible instrument that can be used if you need your back rub to be increasingly compelling. It helps in extricating the skin up and giving grease to your hands. If your hands can slide and coast easily over your darling's body all the more adequately, then it will likewise help in making the back rub increasingly sexy and causes in paving the way to the real sex!

The best oil that you can use in a pre-sex rub is grape seed oil. This is because grape seed oil has minimal number of individuals that are oversensitive to it and can be incredible for your skin. In this manner, by giving your sweetheart a grape seed oil rub you will be helping him, or her get milder skin too, and isn't this a fantastic special reward? You can generally include a couple of drops of your preferred scented or basic oil to make the experience far and away superior. Distinctive fundamental oils can be used relying on the specific explanation behind which it is being used. For example, lavender can be used for unwinding and alleviating muscles; rose can be used for giving an increasingly erotic feel to the back rub.

If grape seed oil isn't accessible, go for whatever other oil that has been made with the end goal of back rubs.

The Technique

 

The primary thing that you should do is clearly begin spreading the oil over your sweetheart's body. Ensure that the oil is conveyed uniformly everywhere throughout the body and remember that too little oil won't give sufficient oil and result in teasing. In any case, using an excess of would simply wind up getting chaotic, and this can be irritating. Attempt to locate the fair compromise! While you are spreading the oil over your partner's body, you will find that the skin ingests the oil rapidly. Thus, you should keep habitually spreading more oil over their body, if the grease quits being adequate.

When the oil has been spread over your partner's body, the back rub can appropriately start. At first, it would be a smart thought to begin with essential pressure of the entirety of the significant muscles. The muscle you ought to go for while applying wide and vague pressure are the thigh muscles since this zone is normally under the most strain for the duration of the day.

When the muscles have been relaxed up in your partner's legs, you can move their back, the second-most tense region of the normal body. Simply apply pressure with your straightened palm, and make sure to speak with your partner as much as you can about what feels better and what is excruciating.

Attempt gently slapping territories that you feel are as of now free to invigorate blood course in these zones. Recollect not to slap so hard that it harms except if your partner needs you to obviously!

When you have finished this back rub and released up the significant muscle gatherings, the time has come to start centred pressure with the tips of your fingers and your clench hands. There are explicit

 

territories that you ought to focus during centred pressure, and these zones are determined in the following segment.

Territories to Target

Bosoms: The bosoms are one specific territory of the human life systems that will in general draw in a great deal of consideration, and it so occurs, that they are additionally an astounding  wellspring of sexual incitement for some individuals. They likewise will in general have exceptionally thought purposes of strain that, when discharged, wind up causing the individual to feel fantastically loose and quiet.

Along these lines, bosoms are clearly going to be one of the most significant zones of the body that you should target. Purposes of pressure here are most likely going to be on the lower half of the bosoms. It is significant that you search, attempting to discover the zone where the pressure exists.

This little wad of strain can be discovered right beneath the areola, and your partner may likely shout out when you hit this specific spot. In any case, don't confound this torment and stop the back rub. This torment is entirely charming, with numerous individuals contrasting it with the inclination once gets while scratching a tingle.

Something imperative to note while performing such a back rub is the source of these little wads of strain that are available in the body. They are not just strong pressure. Their root is more mystical than physical in nature.

You are as of now acquainted with the different chakras present in the body. In any case, you most likely don't know that these chakras are the significant stops in an immense system of energy that is

 

streaming inside your body, vortices through which energy continually streams. However, there are sure circumstances where the progression of energy can get disturbed.

Therefore, when you apply profound strain to these points  the energy begins to get discharged, consequently expelling the impediment that was formerly hindering the progression of energy in your body.

Discharging energy is agonizing and yet very charming in light of the fact that the progression of energy gives essentialness  and expanded sexual affectability to your body. This implies when you knead these points, your partner is going to feel an extraordinary tingling vibe that will regress into a stimulating sensation as the blockage is expelled from the energy pathways in the body.

The most ideal manner by which you can apply strain to this specific point is by pushing down using the tips of your fingers. Start by applying pressure and moving your hands in a round movement. This will discharge the energy blockage in a mellow and proficient manner. The round movement extricates up stuck energy and afterward permits your hand to move away to an alternate piece of the blockage, permitting the relaxed-up energy to stream into the energy pathway without being impeded by the pressure of your fingers.

You can likewise apply serious strain to this point. This is exceptionally valuable since it will discharge energy from the blockage in a very serious way, and this will wind up opening your partner up for extraordinary sexual incitement.

 

Butt: This is another zone of the body that a great many people are stirred by. For reasons unknown, the butt is similarly as inclined to blockages in energy as bosoms seem to be, most likely in view of the extraordinary sum strain they experience when the individuals they are appended to spend by far most of their day sitting in an office. With the measure of sitting that we do, it is no big surprise that the pathways of energy in our derrieres wind up getting sponsored up.

The significant thing here is to feel your way around the territory. Blockages can happen in a few distinct pieces of the butt, so you should look around a little to discover where precisely the blockage has happened. An odd little fortuitous event is that the energy blockage is likely going to happen in a similar spot on the two cheeks, so if you discover the spot on one cheek basically begin squeezing a similar spot on the other cheek also.

Apply a similar round movement with the tips of your fingers that you used on your partner's bosom. These energy blockages may require some more pressure, notwithstanding, so if your partner can't feel anything when you are rubbing that person, simply having a go at using your thumb.

You may confront trouble finding the pressure point right now the body, particularly if your partner has been skilled with a breath-taking posterior. This is because the energy pathways are covered underneath a great deal of substance. Bosoms once in a while ever posture such an issue, regardless of whether the bosoms being referred to are very huge.

 

This is because the pressure points situated in bosoms are not as profound as the ones in the rear. Henceforth, if you are confronting troublesome finding your partner's pressure point, use your thumb, and it will work. If your thumb is as yet not adequate, have a go at using something inflexible like a pen to apply pressure,  simply ensure you use the backside of the pen and not the pointy end!

Using such a device will assist you with providing unimaginably engaged pressure onto the energy blockage, encouraging a speedy scattering of energy and in the process most likely turning your partner on a lot.

Internal thighs: Finding the blockage in energy right now your body may end up being significantly more troublesome than discovering it on different pieces of the body. This is the reason a cursory back rub of the thighs is important before you start to test for pressure points.

The muscle rub is useful in light of the fact that it will expel a great deal of interruptions from that general region. A great deal of the time, you may be examining for the pressure point and would as far as anyone knows think that its rapidly, just to find that it was simply fundamental muscle torment and not the agony that originates  from a blocked energy pathway.

However, if you have loosened up the muscles in your partner's thighs, the procedure ought to be significantly simpler. One great tip that you ought to follow is to search for the pressure point in the upper internal thigh, which implies the territory of your thigh that is legitimately beneath your partner's groin.

Attempt to crush this zone for the most part to locate a general area of the pressure point, and afterward slender it somewhere near using

 

the tips of your fingers. When you discover the pressure point, begin applying a similar roundabout pressure that you used to both the past body parts.

Be careful while applying strain to the internal thighs. The pressure point here is significantly more sensitive than the pressure points in the butt or even the bosoms. Delicate pressure will take care of business and apply an excess of pressure will simply wind up causing pointless agony that will likely power your partner out of the temperament.

If the round movement strategy ends up being unreasonably extraordinary for your partner, have a go at pushing your fingers ahead as you delicately knead the point. This will help by applying a lot gentler pressure than the roundabout movement, and the way that it is significantly more arousing absolutely doesn't hurt either!

Lower back: This territory of the body is totally different from the three zones talked about beforehand, thus will handle in a way  that is totally unique to how that the past body parts were handled

What makes the lower back so one of a kind is that it doesn't have a solitary purpose of energy blockage that you should concentrate on. Or maybe, your partner will have one of two potential energy blockage circumstances, every one of which has its  particular system that you can use to handle it.

The principal circumstance would be that there are a few dozen separate purposes of energy blockage that are peppering over your whole lower back, being centred explicitly around the segment of your lower back legitimately before your butt alongside the region of your lower back that is straightforwardly along your spine.

 

The subsequent circumstance would be that the energy blockage would be spread out over the aggregate of your lower back, with the energy nexuses interconnecting to shape a system of blockages like the genuine system of energy pathways that your body has.

The subsequent circumstance is regularly found in ladies with huge bosoms and individuals who do a great deal of physical work. This is because such individuals will in general put a great deal of strain on their lower back, compelling the energy pathways to get blocked in light of the fact that these strenuous exercises would intrude on their flow.

By and large, the lower back is continually going to be an intense spot of energy blockage except if your partner gets customary back rubs, and the advantage of this is even the scarcest back rub right now significantly invigorate your partner and will bring about practically moment excitement whenever done right.

 

hapter 20.   Intense and Prolonged Coitus

Thrusting away as hard as we can you know the harder we thrust the faster it's going to come the more intense it's going to be but that's not the value or guess and you cannot get there by force you have to open to it you have to surrender to it.

All the different orgasms can basically be classified into these two types of orgasm the first type is a peak orgasm and this is the only type of orgasm that's most men that most men have experienced the peak orgasm has this sharp upward slope you know the arousal the pleasure builds it builds very quickly and then you come to this sharp point that's you know the point of ejaculation for men typically and so you've hit the sharp point and there's this you know it lasts only about five to 10 seconds that orgasmic point there's pulsations and then it completely drops off right so this is P a sharp climb up this definite Plateau and then a drop back down this is a very limited orgasm because it only lasts five to ten seconds.

It's very pleasurable in those five to ten seconds but that sharp drop- off it's very unfortunate and you actually tend to feel very drained and very tired after this type of orgasm this is a very often a very force based orgasm you know you're forcefully thrusting and the energy builds up very quickly and then releases very quickly so  the energetic quality of this orgasm is that the energy is flowing down and outward the energy is flowing out of your body and it's very intense sensation when it's happening but after it's over you feel depleted there's no more energy to build up to another orgasm you have to rest you have to recover that energy because you've lost it

 

so this is the type of orgasm that most men completely associated with and they've never experienced anything else and again relaxation is a major key here you know we typically she sex as being this you know what Mike she just calls it sports sex friction sex where you're just thrusting as hard as you can and you know it's very pleasurable but that builds tension.

Especially for men it builds up a tremendous amount of heat and then gentle so you need to take some periods of time where you are very relaxed very passively exchanging this allows for the deeper movement of energy between you and this is what gives you into the deeper orgasmic States and I'm not saying you can't have you know rough passionate sets no it's great to have that as well it's like dancing you know you want to have all these different moves you want to be these dynamics you know being very fast and hard and rough sometimes and then being completely relaxed gentle completely passive you know having this dynamic will make your sex very incredible very powerful and you'll build these much higher deeper more powerful orgasmic states and then the other type of orgasm is the valley orgasm.

So this orgasm it's much different it's a much different experience and it can be very subtle in the beginning but it's much more in my opinion much more fulfilling much more pleasurable and it can even be more powerful than the ejaculatory orgasm so the valley orgasm you know the name comes from you know it's like a valleys just this wide open level orgasm it's this constant steady state it's more of a state than like you know the peak orgasms like this sharp obvious point but the value orgasm it's much more elusive in that it doesn't really have a definite beginning or an end and so it's much harder  to

 

quantify it can become difficult for men to open to this new type of orgasm because they expect orgasm as this very in-your-face obvious you know bam it's here then BAM it's gone type of experience you know it's a very peak experience but again it's very short-lived it doesn't last very long and so the value orgasm is it's this deep full-body very deep powerful experience and what's happening is that again is it's more of a state than like this you know orgasm we often experience as just this very short-lived thing.

So it's like you know high intensity then it's over where is the value orgasm is it's this cost state of just orgasmic pulsation throughout the body you go to an altered state and you're very open to this this waves of pleasure it starts very subtle but it builds and it builds and energetically what's typically happening during the valley orgasm is that the energy is moving upward through the body so the all the standard bill is open genitals during sex and you know the peak orgasm.

It just explodes downward and outward and the value orgasm it's moving upward it's moving up to the higher centres of the body it's nourishing the brain asserting the glands the pineal gland it's nourishing the organs you can circulate it through the body so it's this internal circulation of energy which means that there's no discharge the energy is not shooting out of you and you  feel depleted no it's building internally it's recycling it's moving within yourself therefore it can keep building and keep building and so it's a very fulfilling experience in that there's no loss of energy from it you build up energy with the value orgasm.

You can exchange this with a partner you can enter into this orgasm together and you're constantly exchanging this orgasmic energy with

 

each other it's very powerful but again there's no there's no sharp intense you know physical contractions that are happening during the peak orgasm.

Which is why most men have can't have difficulty experiencing it in the beginning because they're expecting this you know sharp in- your-face intense experience with the beginning and an end but it's much certain that that's more of a state of an unfolding state and so the valley orgasm it's not something you can force your way into like you know the peak orgasm we're used to just thrusting away as hard as we can you know the harder we thrust the faster it's going to come the more intense it's going to be but that's not the value or guess and you cannot get there by force you have to open to it you have to surrender to it and I think this is another reason why men often have trouble experiencing this type of orgasms because they're unable to surrender we in our ask on culture we associate you know surrenders being submissive.

We associated with you know being this feminine quality that we don't want to you know we don't want to lose our masculinity but it's all about balance here this type of orgasm in itself is inherently a Amorian feminine experience in that it's an inward it's this implosion versus this you know explosion of the peak orgasm of your energies exploding outward and the value orgasm your energies imploding within your body so it is a Yin type of orgasm.

So you need to be able to surrender to that Yin type of experience so and you know this doesn't make you any less of a man you know so as men you know we can be young you know in the external world we're out we're asserting our destiny we're asserting our mission we're doing what needs to be done we're making things happen   but

 

at the same time we need to be able to surrender into this deeper orgasmic experience during sex it's about surrendering to your partner about entering this deep connection with your partner.

Lots of men are afraid to do this you know because they think that they'll lose themselves or that they'll be weak from it but it's all about balance you must have this Yin yang balance in your life you know we're none of this is 100% male or 100% female we have these different qualities of the male and female within us this is what a yin and Yong is for example you sleep every night you know or at least you should if you're if you're alive you're it's very likely you're sleeping every night this is the ultimate act of surrendering of surrendering to the darkness surrendering to the yin we must sleep it keeps us balanced we go crazy and we'll die if we don't sleep so you have to have this Yin young dynamic in your life so being able to surrender to the sexual experience to let go of the force stop trying to force your way into orgasm and just surrender just open yourself to your partner open yourself to this deeper experience you know and it's about removing all expectations so many guys when  they're trying to learn to have these deeper orgasms there's so much expectation and again there's a lot of force like okay.

I need to force my own chest I need to force this energy through my body and your results are going to be very limited when you're when you have all these expectations and you're trying to use all this force again it's about letting go of that and just surrendering yourself into the experience so how do we start to experience this valley orgasm basically it requires having open energy channels in your body.

So there's all these different energy channels all these energy meridians you know the acupuncturist work with these   acupuncture

 

meridians and you need these need to be open to assert or at least you know the microcosmic orbit is the mainland going up the back of the body down the front and when these channels are open then you have space for the sexual energy to move upward so it can be circulated internally which is why I always encourage people to practice Qigong to practice meditation because these practices open up these channels then when you go to have sex you have this pathway for the sexual energy to move in so having open energy channels is very important.

Also having a connection to your partner being able to trust your partner and being able to feel connected with your partner this is not a purely physical you know animalistic thrusting away and then ejaculate a new type of experience this is much more evolved we'll say it's much more human this heart-to-heart connection this soul connection and then you know the physical connection is just another layer to that.

So when you have all these things in place it becomes very powerful so it's really about being able to connect to deeper layers of yourself being able to connect with your partner on deeper layers and allow not expect not trying to force your way to this point of orgasm it's about surrendering to the experience and letting the sexual energy move through your body being able to breathe you know fill your breath have you're having as you're having sex that's one of the best ways to move energies breathing deep.

So I hope you find that helpful again I hope that this sort of broadens your definition of what sex can be because the valley orgasm is so healing it's so nurturing you build up energy and you can store it you know instead of losing this sexual charge when you ejaculate you

 

hold on to that charge you store it in your body and if fuels your body feels your creativity it's very healing so if you're interested in learning more about how to experience this type of orgasm I've created a six- week course multi-orgasmic man which has all the foundations you need to open up the body and prepare for this higher sexual experience.

Tactically speaking you want to stay on the edge of orgasm facts so you don't want to go over the edge and of course you know it's not hot to be at a place of just you know comfort in equilibrium you always do want to be on the edge and to make and to maintain that edge what what's wrong with having multiple orgasms a lot  of women can multiply orgasm pretty easily but orgasms for a man In Tantra they are not necessarily too attractive orgasms they're not peak orgasms they're valuable gasps what about the non-ejaculatory orgasms that men can train themselves to have through Tantra practices are those peak orgasms when you have none their value orgasms really so it's only when you eat Jack you late you have the full-body orgasms the full-body orgasms are valid orgasms oh yeah but yeah the peak orgasms which are you know ejaculatory orgasms yes or clitoral orgasm for them they are contractile orgasms like they happen because of the contraction right.

So a vaginal orgasm which is like more full-body that is not that's a valley orgasm it's deeper I've never experienced that personally you know maybe in past lifetimes I don't remember but the orgasms like when I have tons of orgasms they happen because of the intensity of the relaxation rather the intensity of the contraction yeah and they are yeah they're definitely full their full body they happen and they happen in my heart they happen to my forehead in my throat oh they

 

happen all over the place they could be vague like they  could happen in my hands like this it happens it is very pleasurable and it has because of a rhythmic relaxation rather than a rhythmic contraction Wow yeah so would you say it's like Paris they're sympathetic nervous system mediates people organize orgasms the value of orgasms are mediated by the calming state of the nervous system oh yeah yes going to talk about today is my favourite topic semen retention.

We're going to dive deeply into what it means in a relationship because you gotta understand my experience of semen retention I didn't even know that it was called semen retention or no.5 I had no idea about that 15 years ago 15 years ago I was 18 years old at that moment in time I had decided who I was going to marry I did not marry her by the way but I knew that I needed to get something done and that was to go to Africa for two years and do my missionary labour to come back and then married the girl of my dreams and so I decided to become completely pure I was heavily religiously involved and at this moment in time I practiced semen retention completely from 18 to 21 years old and I had like maybe 3 or 4 mishaps during that entire time frame I was practicing semen retention but I had no idea about it I was just doing it because I thought it was a sin and I was going to be prepared and ready to get married at age 21 well that girl dumped me.

She was up fantastic and then a 21 years old I now was on the quest to find someone to marry and in the next two years basically I  dated a girl Oh guess what she dumped me I dated another girl she dumped me and then there was another girl and I was so fired up about actually you know getting married to this girl and we were so

 

close and at that moment in time my future wife came into my life and then she basically convinced me because she was so beautiful I forgot about the other girl and I was like let's see how this works out we got married I got married as a virgin at this moment in time.

I had now practiced semen retention for five flippin years guys while you guys have been like masturbating those teenage years I was practicing semen retention during my teenage years I was wasting my sperm as well but between eighteen and twenty three I was serious about it I got married and then we started having sex and I completely wasted my power on the continual basis all the time losing my power was that a good idea no I completely lost myself fortunately though within two or three years I discovered semen retention because at this moment in time she was pregnant with the second child and that this we were having sex and she wasn't really that into it so I was like I'm not going to be labour it more so I'll just pull out and I pulled out and I still had an erection that was like man I feel good like.

I feel powerful like man this is so much better than actually ejaculating while having sex and this is where I started studying coitus interruptus that's the title of this video I'm going to explain coitus interruptus and I'm going to explain coitus reser Vegas this is when you're in a relationship a sexual relationship and I recommend it to be a long-term committed partner there is no use for you to have sex with anyone who is not your long-term committed partner seriously okay all the things that can go wrong in those relationships that are short-lived and no strings attached it's not worth it guys okay set your life up first and then find your long-term committed partners and that's it okay so what is coitus interruptus.

 

hapter 21.   The Importance of Your Breath

In Tantra art, your breath is very vital to the success and outcome of a tantric sex practice. When you breathe properly, the necessary oxygen your cells require to function well will be supplied. A proper breathing helps you free your emotions and sensuality. The breath is a main factor affecting the life and length of your sex. Euphoria, organisms, deep intimacy are all hinged on how you control your breath while having sex.

Controlling your breath sounds simple, but in reality, it isn't. This is due to the fact that we hold our breath too much and engage more in shallow breathing. This is not healthy and bad for our sex life. There are three vital practices that you can do to improve your breathing and your sexual energy. The first practice is called the Source of Life. To do this, identify the place where your breath is coming, in your body. It may be from your chest, stomach area or throat. After locating it, ensure that the breath is firmly rooted within your body. Locate the breath and make it come as low down as your sexual organs.

You have to be sitting to carry out the second practice known as "Egg to Eagle". On a sitting position, breath out as you try to form a ball, with your elbows close to your body and hands places on the back of your head. Breathe in, while rising gradually and placing your elbows as far back as you can. Can you feel the stretch in your body now? Push your chest out and arch your back. You will feel air rushing into your lungs. Repeat till your breathing is normal.

 

The last exercise helps you take in as much air as you can get. It is called the bellows, because you are going to imagine your lungs are a bellows as air rush into them. To start it, make sure your arms are by your side then blow out all your hair in a forceful way. Then, take in as much air as possible. Blowing out and taking in air will come with a lot of noise, but don't be afraid, it is part of the process. Do this repetitively and you will find your breath getting better.

In conclusion it is advisable to engage in breathing practices then and now because they are cogent in helping you direct  sexual energy to other parts of the

body. Good breath during sex will give perks such as deep connection with the partner, achievement of high bliss and ecstasy and overall maintenance of health.

TANTRIC SEX AND THE CHAKRA WHEELS

Everything in our world today is controlled by energy. Human beings also have energy within them. The feeling you have when you are attracted to a person, or you feel an electricity like jolt when you are around the person you love is caused by energy within you.

Tantric philosophy holds that the energy centres in a human body known as Chakras pass an imaginary axis, from the bottom of our pelvis to top of our head, down to the core of our physical body. Although physical body parts are illustrated but these energy fields aren't physical, rather they are associated with  different features. The energy forces spin in a wheellike motion from the seven different centres in your body. The seven chakras throughout the body are associated with colours, sounds, and issues.

 

It is important to know and understand the workings of the chakras, because they are integral to tantric sex practices. With Tantric sex practices however, you will be able to attain your desired sex goals and establish that deep connection with your partner.

Perhaps of all the seven, the second chakra can be said to be the most vital, because it is located in your genitals area. It controls the force and energy distributed to the other centres of the body. As a matter of fact, most of the tantric sex practices are best learnt and carried out using the energy from the second chakra.

BREATHING WITHIN THE CHAKRAS

Your breathing is very important to tantric sex. Proper breathing assists you by creating a channel in your body through which air can get to your chakras. The air will work with your chakras to energize you, cleanse and heal you.

When air passes through a clear channel in your body, it will make a flutelike sound. This sound signifies that the air is properly coursing through the channels and going past your chakras. When you exhale, you can send your breath to your partner. After feeling it, and going through his/her chakras, he/she can return it to you, and you will both be empowered. There are two popular exercises that helps your air flow properly through the chakras. They have been explained in detail below.

The first exercise is known as the complete breath. Its purpose is mainly for relaxation. To do this, breathe in deeply into your lower belly or chest. This will make your belly pop out, giving your belly an extra fat look, but it is only temporary. This practice can be carried out alone or with your partner. It is however a good breath practice to

 

do in the middle of a sex. It helps create a deep connection and mutual ease.

The second breath exercise is meant to increase your energy and excite you. Commonly known as "fire breath", it works by you inhaling and breathing out of the nose rapidly. This will make your stomach produce a regular throbbing sensation or sound in line with the rapid breaths. Raising and lowering your arms will help increase the energy level of this exercise.

It is important to practice breathing exercises with your partner because it can greatly benefit your sexual life and achieve a lasting love connection.

THE THIRD EYE BELIEF IN TANTRA

There is a popular phrase about the eyes being the window to the soul. Tantra ascribes to this phrase, however not your physical eyes. The eye that Tantra considers leading to your soul is not your real eyes, but the significant eye called the third eye.

In practical terms, this third eye can be found behind your real eyes, in the middle of your brain. Tantra believes that opening your third eye, will help you observe more, and understand  yourself better. Also, there is a higher level of connection and enlightenment with your partner that can only be achieved with the third eye.

To utilize your third eye better, you can practice this third eye exercise. Put your finger on a spot on your forehead to connect with the third eye and imagine yourself breathing into it to get deeper understanding and relaxation. To make it more effective, you might need to close your eyes.

THE INNER SMILE

 

The benefits of smiling in an individual's life cannot be overemphasized. It is perfect for expressing happiness and bliss. It increases your confidence and makes you look younger and more attractive. Smiling is beneficial to the society, since it makes you and everybody that comes in contact with you happier. According to research, when you smile, you trigger the limbic system in the brain. An important function of the limbic system is to send  pleasure signals to the brain. The smile that is being talked about in the above lines is the outward visible smile that everybody sees.

However, tantra also teaches another type of smile known as the inner smile. The inner smile is imagined. You picture of happening in the primitive brain (which is believed to be at the back of your brain, near the nape of your neck).

Imagining this smile will help create a positive feeling and attitude and will also reach a higher state of bliss which is the goal of tantra. Putting on the outer and inner smile is the key to ultimate happiness. While showing others your pretty smile, imagine yourself smiling beautifully within too. Not only will this boost your self-esteem and confidence, good vibes and energy will radiate from you inside out.

PLAY THE ROLE OF A PARTICIPANT AND OBSERVER

A vital technique to keep your mind in shape for tantra is by putting yourself in a mental state where you are able to play the role of a participant and observer. It means you are actively doing a thing and yet, you are observing yourself while carrying out this activity. Watching yourself act is called being the witness in common terms. This practice is good for every aspects of your life that can get better with  tantra  especially  sex.  Sometimes,  sex  is  affected  by      the

 

distracting thoughts that course through the minds of the man and woman while in the act. The man might be worrying about how long he will last or if he would be able to please the lady. The lady on the hand might be having doubts about the man's genuine feeling for her. These thoughts reduce the chances of having good  sex. Fighting these thoughts or trying to conceal them is not the solution. Tantra advocates that you notice or witness yourself having these thoughts (observe) then simply redirect your attention on your breath and sensational feelings in your body.

 

Conclusion

It’s an exact series of steps that allow and provide to others the wellness and understanding that you should have wit yourself, and with others. Tantric sex is one of the best ways to bolster the relationship that you have with the person that you love, and if you feel like you could benefit from tantric sex, then try it.

This is a beginner’s guide to understanding the power of tantra, what it is, and some of the important factors associated with this, and some of the different factors that go into tantra. The right mindset for tantra will change the way your body handles all of the different aspects of tantra, and you should understand that, with tantra, you’ll feel amazing, but you should also understand that it is a powerful technique, and it can change you.

With that being said, the next step for you to take is simple. That is to try out tantric sex with your partner. You can start out small by trying out breathing and going for about ten minutes or so and work up to it. Try using tantric sex in the bedroom with some of the small techniques that are there or the positions that are associated with this. With tantra, anyone can do it, and we provided the steps for you to get started on the pathway to pleasure though this type of sex.

The subject of love is indeed a very sensitive one. It is very simple, fun and benefitting to be in love. But as simple and fun falling in love appears to be, there are some essential ingredients in finding it and keeping it. The path to finding love starts from when we are single. You need to project enough confidence in yourself, so you can find yourself in a peaceful relationship, devoid of insecurities.

 

Sex is an important part of life and crucial for being in a fulfilling relationship. Whether you have a great sex life and just want to keep experimenting, or you’re just starting to explore what makes you and your partner feel good, By opening up communication with your partner about sex, you can both continue to explore and grow sexually, figuring out how to have the most satisfying sexual relationship possible. Sex is for everyone, from flexible yogis to couch potatoes, so wink at your partner, shimmy out of your clothes, and start having fun!

There is so much to explore, so many parts of our human psyche that are still untapped, waiting for the right key to come unlock  them. I believe that almost anyone can be consumed by the allure sex poses. It becomes a challenge to reach certain milestones – losing your virginity, receiving your first oral sex, giving your first oral sex, having sex in public for the first time, trying your first sex toy, making love for the first time. It’s fun. There’s also a certain amount of ego involved. It feels good to be doing this stuff, and I do think that sex is a fundamental need we have as human beings.

 

 

Introduction

The word Kama is one that means pleasure but can also be translated as desire or longing. There is a sexual connotation associated with the word, meaning it is more to do with sexual pleasure and desire than with the pleasures of life or desire for material goods, but that doesn’t mean that the Kama Sutra as a whole is limited to only sexual pleasure. Sutra, on the other hand, translates to verse or scripture. When you put these words together, you get the translation of “Scripture of Pleasure”, but there are many variations on how you can literally translate this.

It is unlikely that you have never heard of the Kama Sutra before, but you may be unfamiliar with what exactly it is. Some may think of it as simply a book of sex positions, while others may know a bit more of the history and how it came to be. Discussing the literal meaning of the words, as well as what it teaches us, and how it is meant to be used. Since the Kama Sutra originated in India, there are also many terms and words used throughout that you may not be familiar with, so we will make sure to breakdown some of the most commonly

seen ones and provide their definitions.

With such a rich history behind it, there is so much to learn about the Kama Sutra. It is an expansive work of literature that was created to be more than just a guide on different ways in which you can have sex. Instead, it permeates all aspects of life and brings together both sexual and non-sexual ways in which you interact with a lover, a partner, or a spouse. But what exactly does “Kama Sutra” mean?

 

Delving deeper into the meaning behind the name, the pleasure that is Kama is one that is of all five senses, and this is very important.

While many thinks of the Kama Sutra as a sex book, it is actually a book that focuses on pleasing all of the senses and is meant to be a guide on how to live a good life and enjoy yourself. From the physical enjoyment of sex to the pleasure that is derived from being in love, the Kama Sutra is filled with different verses that cover a wide range of different activities and pleasures.

While we did mention that Kama often has a sexual connotation, like with all translations there are different meanings depending on how it is being used. Kama can also be used when referencing love or affection, and in this sense, it is used in a non-sexual way. This is why the Kama Sutra needs to be viewed as a whole, since it was not intended to simply be a sexual book, but more so an erotic manual on life.

We know that the Kama Sutra extends beyond just the physical pleasures, as the book touches on the four different virtues of life. Those four are:

Dharma – How to live a virtuous life

Kama – How to enjoy the pleasures of the senses

Moksha – How to be liberated from the cycle of reincarnation Artha – How to gain material wealth

These four virtues are tenants of Hinduism, which is applicable since the Kama Sutra originates in India where Hinduism is one of the predominant religions. This historical context allows us to understand the book better, as we need to approach it from the mindset of the author, who would have most likely been a practicing Hindu. The

 

author saw sexual pleasure as one of the main virtues of life, and it was both a necessary and spiritual pursuit that was important both from a non-sexual and sexual avenue. These virtues are almost instructions on how a person should live in order to be fulfilled both in this life as well as in the afterlife. Regardless of what your

personal religion is, all the points are still applicable, as basic human nature dictates that we are all attempting to be the best version of ourselves and to accomplish everything we set out to gain.

Some other words that you may encounter within the Kama Sutra, and their translations, are:

Devi – Goddess

Gandharva – A form of marriage in which everyone is consenting to it

Lingam – Penis

Nayika – A woman who is desired by someone Prahanana – Striking or slapping someone during sex Raja – King

Vatsala – A married woman who has children Vikrant – A brave and beloved man

Yoni – Vagina

Within this book, we will try and use as much of the original language as possible, so having a glossary of terms will be beneficial. With

that said, however, there will always be translations available throughout so that you can follow along with ease.

So why does the literal meaning of the name even matter?

 

Well, understanding what an author is trying to convey is important as it allows us to enter the book and adjust our personal views so that we do not bring in our biases and preconceived notions. If you come into the Kama Sutra thinking it should only include some sex positions and nothing more, then you miss out on the richness that is contained within. Likewise, if you ignore the historical significance behind the text, you fail to grasp many of the concepts located

within. In order to gain as much as you can from the Kama Sutra, you need to know what the author intended with it, and why they felt the need to create this work of literature.

History of the Kama Sutra

The exact date that the Kama Sutra was written is not known, but estimates place it anywhere between 400 BCE and 300 CE. What we do know, however, is that it was officially compiled and turned into the book that we know today in the 2nd century, otherwise known as 2 CE. This does not mean though that the book has not undergone revisions since then, and some scholars believe that the

version we have is actually closely linked to the 3rd century, as some of the references throughout would not have been applicable to the 2nd century. With the text being so old, exact dating is virtually impossible, nevertheless, there is a lot of information we do know about it.

We do know that the text originates from India, although the exact location is unknown. Historians have been able to narrow down the location to somewhere within the north, or northwest, region but beyond that, it is a guess as to where the author was from. As for the author himself, we do know it was written by a man named Vatsyayana Mallanaga, as his name is engraved into the beginning

 

of the text. Who this man was is unclear, but we do have information as to why he wrote the Kama Sutra?

Since it’s compilation in the 2nd-3rd century, the Kama Sutra has undergone numerous translations and there are versions in almost every language. It was originally written in Sanskrit, an ancient

Indian language, and this is the language that many Hindu scriptures were written in. While some translations are quite accurate, it is important to note that some translators did place their own bias into their work and that can be seen in the discrepancies that were later found. One of the key examples of this was in the 19th century, when the Kama Sutra was translated into English. The translator at that time wanted to ensure that the role of women in the sexual realm

was not as prominent, as that was not the culture of the times. In order to maintain that societal understanding of sex and women, the Kama Sutra was altered so that women were significantly downplayed throughout. This has since been corrected, but it is important to be aware of this if you ever decide to pick up a copy for yourself as you want to be sure you are getting a purer translation.

The foundations of the Kama Sutra are rooted within the Vedic Era of literature, which is based on the word Vedas. Vedas were historical texts written in India around this time that dealt with lifestyle and how one should conduct themselves on a daily basis. All works of this time period were verbally passed down, and traditions were later adapted into many of the Hindu beliefs that are now practiced today. In the Vedic Era, there were distinct classes and castes within society, and a lot of that is reflected within the Kama Sutra. Many references are made to those who are in differing classes, and how relationships between individuals of different castes cannot work out.

 

While this type of information is not apparently meaningful in today’s culture, it does cross over when we look at socio-economic statuses and how the rich and poor interact even today.

These foundations are incredibly important because they shape the mind frame of the author of the Kama Sutra.

It is with this in mind that we can start to see that the Kama Sutra is a religious text by some accounts. We may not associate sex and religion as being intertwined, but in fact, Vatsyayana saw sex as

being a religious experience as well as a requirement to live a proper life. The basis of the entire viewpoint stems from certain religious beliefs, and the foundation for the entire book comes from his personal, religious beliefs. It is a celebration of human sexuality and the most carnal of pleasures, which are gifts from the gods and ultimately a necessity in life.

Philosophy of the Kama Sutra

As we said, we do know a bit about why Vatsyayana wrote the Kama Sutra. Looking at ancient Hindu texts, we know that the four virtues were commonly talked about and written at length about. Many of

the texts focused on the two important virtues of Dharma (morality), and Athra (prosperity), while few really delved into the importance of Kama (pleasure). Vatsyayana meditated upon this reality and came to the conclusion that Kama was just as important as all of the other virtues, and so it was only proper to have a guide written solely about how to obtain Kama.

The four virtues can be looked at more as goals that each person much work towards within their lifetime in order to lead a complete and fulfilled life. Within the Kama Sutra, there are many references

 

to the other virtues as they are all tied together and must be achieved in order to succeed. One cannot simply focus on the physical pleasures and ignore the need for morality or prosperity, so you may notice throughout that sex and morality are often combined, as well as sex and finding a partner that brings about monetary prosperity.

To understand the philosophy behind the Kama Sutra, it is vital that you understand what it was intended to be. The sex acts that are described throughout are little more than theatrics, with an emphasis on outrageous and yoga-inspired poses. The goal was unlikely to be used as a literal manual, but instead to be used as a way to understand both society and the individual. It can be seen as almost a screenplay, taking us on a journey of love within ancient Indian times. There is talk of love, intimacy, and mundane tasks such as bathing and grooming. The Kama Sutra is a manual on all aspects of pleasure, both in the sexual sense and in the day to day realm.

Kama is so often seen as something that is less important than other aspects of human pursuit. We are told to work hard, earn money, find a spouse, have children, and live a moral and righteous life. But rarely are advised on how to let loose and enjoy we, or how

important of a role sex plays in the human experience. The Kama Sutra is the bridge over that gap, intended to lift up the importance of pleasure and sex, and place it in as high of regard as all the other aspects we are expected to work towards.

Some have questioned whether or not the Kama Sutra really is a female positive as it may appear, but if you approach it from the idea of the times, then it can actually be seen as more of a feminist work of art than the surface would suggest.

 

Try bringing up the topic of female masturbation and see the sudden puritanical viewpoint that many people rush to. Movies are quick to showcase men in a sexual manner, but female sexuality is much more often subdued or removed completely from the narrative. To have a book that explores the different facets of a woman’s sexuality is unique both historically as well as in the current climate. Given that the Kama Sutra talks almost nothing of procreation, it truly highlights the idea that this is a guide for pleasure and nothing more. So, by its own very nature, it is also a book dedicated to a woman’s pleasure, both by herself and that which is given to her by her partner. Beyond just sex, the Kama Sutra also discusses how to treat a woman properly so that she is nurtured and cared for in all aspects of life. It discusses showering her with affection and gifts and giving her absolute power when it comes to the home’s finances.

From a philosophical standpoint, the Kama Sutra opens our minds to the needs of both men and women, and it does a good job of including women in the discussion, especially for the times. Not only does it take a more liberal and open-minded approach to women, but that same approach is extended to homosexuality and bisexuality as well. There are many references and discussions about men

sleeping with men, and women pleasuring other women, as well as advice on having threesomes and even orgies. Whatever the sexual desire is of the individual is both encouraged and celebrated, and there is no judgment cast upon those who may differ from what is considered the norm.

The Kama Sutra makes us think by challenging our conceptions and internalized beliefs when it comes to sex. Whether it is something we partake in or not, it opens our eyes to the different forms of

 

relationships that can exist both romantically and sexually and offers up advice on how to succeed in achieving absolute pleasure. It removes the idea that sex should be for procreating and instead emphasizes the pleasure that can be found within a sexual encounter. On a deeper level, it challenges the notion that physical pleasure should take a backseat to otherworldly pursuits, and that pleasure is just as important in life as everything else. For a life without pleasure, it isn’t truly a life worth living at all.

What Does it Teach Us?

The Kama Sutra teaches us many things, from how to take care of ourselves, to how to take care of our partner. Everything begins with you, and how you groom yourself and carry yourself in this world. It is an extremely practical guide, that mixes real-world advice with philosophical ideas and concepts. It is meant to make us sit back

and think about why we do what we do, and how we can live a better life overall. But all of that begins with the individual person.

Even if we only look at the sexual aspect of the Kama Sutra, we can see exactly what the author is attempting to teach us about physical pleasure. None of us would exist without sex, so why do we diminish its role in our lives? The pleasure of the senses is literally necessary for life, so why not enjoy that and learn how to act upon those desires in both a free and moral way.

Beyond the sexual nature of the Kama Sutra, it also is a guide that teaches us how to live a good life in general. It goes in-depth on topics such as the arts, music, and literature, as well as how to be a good husband or wife. It discusses financial matters, matters of the home, and even how to properly select a spouse that is balanced

 

with you. It goes into great detail about how you should bathe and groom yourself, where you can meet people, and how to enjoy your day and please your spouse.

 

Chapter 1. Compatibility

One of the most powerful features of a good relationship is sexual compatibility. At first, you could assume it is all about how much you and your partner want the same things in bed. Possibly, how your partner has body features like tits, backsides, dick or straight shoulders the way you have always wanted. This is not completely off the mark, but sexual compatibility goes way beyond such thinking.

Imagine a relationship where your partner has the exact things you want. The height, the eyeballs, the body fitness and the smile you always adore, but you cannot understand each other. You cannot tell if they are having a good or bad time. She doesn't know when to let things go with you. He couldn't tell when you are angry, tired, happy or feigning your emotions too, do you think you could be a good fit for such a person? Do you think you would relish having sex with him? It is applicable to both men and women. Sometimes, he wants to talk and not have sex, but you have no idea and you pressed for

it. You both had sex, but it definitely won’t be one she enjoyed.

Women put on a show sometimes. A woman would frown and scream about everything in the house as if she hated you. But all she wants is you. She wants you to drag her into your arms and kiss

her. She wants to melt in your arms and passionately make love with you. If you are sexually compatible, you would fully understand her when she falls into a mood like this, and you know exactly what to do. But if you are not sexually compatible, you might flare up at her

 

weird behaviors. Label her all sorts and storm out of the house in anger.

Men have their styles of attracting you without saying a word too. Each person has a different style of communicating with their partner and they frantically hope you could understand without waiting for them to explain in words.

Unquestionably, sexual compatibility goes beyond having the same taste in bed. These additional factors can determine how you well you would get along in the bedroom and beyond. So, you should recognize them all so you can tell whether if you are compatible with your partner or not yet.

Discover Compatibility:

What are the features that you should look out for when you need to determine whether your you are compatible with your partner or not?

You both have the same urge for sex: The urge for sex should be considered paramount in sexual compatibility. Your partner has to have the same definition of sex as you. For instance, 'do I consider anal, oral and so on as sex?' Whatever your answer is, she should have the same answers too. 'Do I feel a mad drive for sex at least 5 times in a week?' 'Can I go up to 5 rounds each time I have sex?' 'Is there a sex style, sex position that is so heavenly to me, and does my partner enjoy exploring that same style?' You can begin to relax if your partner has the same answer to these questions, your compatibility level is gaining some scale.

You know exactly what turns her on: If you and your partner can read each other like a book, you edge closer to sexual compatibility than you can imagine. You can tell when your partner is turned on and all

 

they need is a powerful fuck till they reach orgasm. You can also tell when you should just give a cuddle and ignore your sexual drive.

Your partner can tell the same about you too. You both possess the trick to get your partner up and very hard, you also know things that would instantly turn your partner off. Having this ability is crucial to your sexual compatibility with your partner. If your skills are not convincing in this regard, you probably have a lot to work on. But not to worry, I will take you through how to do it on the coming lines.

Sex environment: Quite strange but certainly true. We all love to have sex in different conditions. Do you enjoy having sex in a completely dark place? Do you prefer a mildly lit or a very bright room? Or are you the type who loved getting laid in quick silent places and not even rooms? Is your partner the same? Some people love a man who could slide into the kitchen quietly and turn them off while quinoa or steaks are still on fire. They loved having sex in a

quick spot like that, the bathroom, the walkway, the table and not just the bedroom. You need to find out the position of sex that thrills you more, and then analyze how much your spouse dazzle at such sex styles. It is completely 'okay' to prefer having sex in a bedroom, as long as it is how your partners loves it too. Otherwise, your sexual compatibility is uncertain.

How much of affection can you both displays outside? No hard feelings, but some persons would not even want to hold your hand in public. It is not to say they cannot take your breath away in the bedroom, but public display isn't just for them. If you are the contrary type, the person who loves to cuddle, hug, and even kiss in public, you might have a rough time getting along with a partner who

doesn't fancy that, and it might affect your bedroom relationship. It

 

doesn't get any better when you are both out in a garden or a cinema and you found couples doing exactly what your partner won't.

How about sex tech? Technology in Sex. Quite awkward, but it is another factor to consider. Your wife or husband might be electrified by the thoughts of recording your sex now and then. He might want you to share nudes, flirt on texts et cetera. Your love life would get a zillion times easier if you are the same type too. But if not, it's a complete breakdown that can lead you to marriage blanc.

Is she your crush? If the sight of your lover is enough to stir something in your spine or your trousers, she is definitely your crush. You are likely going to enjoy every moment of exploration with your lover if you both attract like magnets. Some couples watch porn or bring up another person's memory in their head before they could garner the passion to copulate with their lover, this speaks nothing of sexual compatibility.

You communicate: Have you ever spoken with a husband who would flatly declare that 'my wife would never agree to that' or 'this is just what my wife wants?' How does it feel when the wife shows up and it turns out that the husband was right? Spot on! Couples are expected to be just that. If you are the type who communicate intensely, you can complete whatever your wife was saying. You can correctly guess what she thinks, and you read her eyebrows better than a textbook. You would naturally find it easier to tell when their eyeballs sparkle for sexual exploration. You can tell when they soften at your signs and you know when they blare green lights on anything. Being compatible in this regard aids sexual compatibility too.

 

If you can read between the lines and you give it some time, you would be able to establish the level of love and sexual compatibility that you share with your lover. Then, you can decide the areas you need to up your game with him or understand him more. When you seem different in a lot of regard. For instance, she wouldn't hug you in public and she would never have sex in the kitchen or bathroom. What can you do?

You need to ask yourself a couple of questions before taking a decision.

Is the difference a big deal? It is okay to get what you love from your lover. But you would naturally adjust to not getting some. Scroll up and list out the compatibility features your partner does not have and ask yourself if you can let go of them or you flatly can't. You may cross out those that don't seem 'a big deal'.

Can you adjust? No doubt, you have other reasons for staying in a relationship beyond sex. Though, sex is a crucial reason too. These other reasons may induce you to hang on in the relationship. They could be so strong that you would be willing to pay the price to keep it going, and that would include altering your sexual taste. If you are in a condition like this, then you could alter as much as possible

before calling your lover's attention to the areas you cannot adjust to.

Resolved the differences yet? If you still notice a few incompatibility problems that need to be ironed out after asking yourself questions and taking steps on your answers, then, proceed to the following.

Ways to Improve couple's health and sexual compatibility.

Communicate: Communication is key to understanding. You need to talk to each other as much as possible. Share your feelings,

 

thoughts and ideas. When you decide to share your thoughts on your sexual relationship with your partner, ensure they are in the best mood they could listen. Perhaps right after sex, before sex or while at a flirty dinner. Watch their unspoken expression as they weigh your suggestions and be ready to guide them through.

Adjust and make efforts: You need to understand your partner's tastes too. They have their own ideas and sexual preferences. They probably don't like the styles you were presenting, or they hadn't given them much thought earlier. Don't put a pressure on them. Also be willing to adjust and switch your taste with theirs. For instance, if your spouse loves sex in a dark place and you want a bright environment, be must be willing to adjust so you can both feel a satisfaction of lovemaking the way you always wanted it. If sex times or the difference in sexual urge is the problem, you still need to talk to them and see how you can both compromises to strike a balance.

Be realistic: If your partner has a much lower sexual drive than you, or some differences that are so vast that they cannot be easily overlooked, you need to be realistic with yourself. Do not expect magic and recognize that we have differences that may never be bridged. This way, you can determine whether the circumstances are within what you can stand, or you would walk away.

Get a professional help: if you flawlessly love each other and you realize that the differences are too vast than you can easily fill, it is highly recommended that you get a professional help. Talk to a sex or marital counsellor. There are always opinions you could use to strike a balance.

 

With all of these measures in place, you would definitely strike a satisfactory compatibility level with your lover, and you could lead a fulfilled sexual affair. Another entity that can spice your sexual compatibility is romance.

What is Romance?

Like sex, romance is a term that has personal definitions. We all have our different styles of defining it. What looks like romance to you may seem completely absurd to another person. However, you choose to view it, women want it more and there are different ways you can express it. I listed the most practicable ways in the lines below:

Being romantic is not about spraying your cash on her every time, it is more of spraying her your time, than your cash.

Romance means display of tenderness or affection. Treat your husband like the King of Jupiter and let be sure your wife glows in happiness like the Queen of the moon. Help her into bed. Lift her in your arms. Put on his shoes and tuck him.

Having affection for your lover and showing it is the true meaning of romance. Laugh, and share their worries with them. Listen as your wife tells you about her boring job or your husband tells you about his lousy secretary.

Gain each other's trust that you would be the first to know anything in her life. You can attain that point by being open to each other, completely.

Dance for her, dance with him, drop love notes where she can find them when she wakes, send him letters at work, and play surprise games on each other.

 

Be absolutely comfortable with each other, cuddle even in front of others.

Help each other and dedicate yourself to each other.

Being romantic has broader definitions to each person. It extends to the bedroom where you should never rush into sex, give yourself time to foreplay and explore each other before intercourse. Have you tried to be romantic? It can boost your sexual compatibility in multiples.

 

Chapter 2. Things to Know and Best Positions for Your First Time

We all have to start somewhere when we start to become aware of our own sexuality. It is a fact that no one is naturally adept at sex. Even the best guy or girl you know who seems to know it all began like everybody else.

Young couples, first timers, or even those who just want to go back to the very basics will look into the following sex positions just to have that good old raunchy good time. Don’t get it all wrong. Sex is fun and it is meant to be enjoyed by anyone who participates in it.

Of course, it will feel awkward at first especially for those who are exploring all the possibilities for the very first time. But don’t worry. We’ll outline each of the most basic sex positions that you can try.

You can think of them as the most basic forms. Everyone starts from the said positions when they first tried to have sex. Young couples who are still learning the rudiments of this shared experience may feel awkward at first.

Everybody thinks that they don’t know what they’re doing the first time. So, don’t sweat it. Remember to just ease into it. Allow your partner to tell you if you’re doing the right thing. The tips and information below will also be a big help to you.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It takes time and practice especially if you’re trying to learn the body language and the other signals that your partner is showing. However, beginners should also note that turn-ons or even kinks can develop at different rates – some faster than others.

 

Give yourself some time and keep practicing. Being a newbie at sex isn’t a really bad thing. In fact, you’re exploring and learning a lot of wonderful things about your partner’s body as well as your own. You will one day know how to understand your partner’s desires and communicate your own – even without words.

The Missionary Position

The missionary position almost comes naturally to anyone – even to total beginners. It’s the most basic sex position of all. You can say that everyone starts with this position. Note that it is a no-frills and a no holds barred position.

Now if you’re new to sex and your partner is the one that has more experience, this position is a very good introduction to the act of making love. In fact, some lovers would try different positions at first but end up finishing the act in the mish – so to speak.

How to Do It

This position allows the man to be in a superior position over the woman. The woman lies on her back spreading her legs open to allow the guy some entry. The man positions himself on top in between her legs and penetrates her. His arms will usually be holding up his weight.

Woman on Top (Cowgirl Position)

This is the woman’s superior position or the antithesis of the missionary position. Simply put, the man and the woman will maintain the same posture except that the woman will be on top and the man will be at the bottom.

How to Do It

 

The man lies on his back. The woman straddles him spreading her legs. It will then allow the man to enter her. The woman can hold the man’s penis and lower herself on him slowly during entry.

Doggy Style

The doggie style is an easy favorite among the guys. It’s a great position if the man wants to stimulate the woman’s elusive G-spot for a more explosive orgasm. It’s also very easy to do.

Spoons

This position is also known as spooning. This position allows partners to cuddle, which makes it quite intimate. The name of this position comes from the way two spoons are placed side by side. Notice how the bowls of the spoons are perfectly aligned with one another.

How to Do It

The woman lies on her side with her knees bent. The man lies on his side too, but he positions himself behind her. His front will then be pressed against her back as he enters her from behind.

Pros

● Allows more intimacy between partners – note the cuddling position

● Both partners get full body contact

● Both partners will have control. The man and the woman can work together on the angle of penetration and their pace

● Since this position tends to take on a slow pace, both partners last longer in bed

Cons

 

● Very little visual contact – you just have to be a bit more imaginative

● The guy’s penis can easily slip out, which can be a bit annoying especially when you have already zoned in

The Suspended Congress

The name of this sex position is lifted right off the Kama Sutra. This is actually the basic standing position. This position is great for both vaginal and anal sex. Note that adjustments can be made in case one partner is taller than the other.

How to Do It

The man and the woman will be standing in front of one another. And in that position the man will enter her. One partner can stand on a chair to compensate for differences in height.

When facing one another the couple can have vaginal sex. If the woman turns around then they can have anal sex. When doing it anal, the man can caress the woman’s frontal parts and kiss her neck. The woman on the other hand can reach out behind her to her man and caress his neck and pull his hair to show him the intense sensations she’s getting.

Sex and love are two different things, but many people who make good sex with their partners are convinced that they are making love and this misunderstanding leads to believe that they are the right person. Making love unlike having sex with me there is no longer a "you" and an "I" but an unlimited unity without division: the "we".

Love is an active power of man; a power that cancels the walls that separate him from his peers, which makes him overcome the sense

 

of separation and separation and allows himself to preserve his integrity. It seems a paradox, but in love two beings become one, yet two remain.

What Is It Like Making Love?

Rubbing, touching, stroking, kissing, sucking, biting and of course, sexual intercourse , as a realization of the desire for physical contact, are all sexual activities that change meaning when you surrender to the other, when you get lost in the other, when you

become one with the other even if you keep your identity: this is what making love is like . Do you have to be in love to make love? No, you don't have to be in love to build a sexual relationship of love from which you can start but also create a romantic relationship that goes beyond the bed.

How to Make Love Well: Start from The Preliminaries?

If the goal is to make love better, then the basis for pleasure is the atmosphere and the excitement to the stars.

Science of the hormonal picture changes: in the case of the most famous sex hormones are dopamine, noradrenaline and phenylethylamine cardiac, increased body temperature, hypersensitivity of the erogenous zones (such as the areas of the body to sexual stimulation) such as nipples, clitoris and vagina. The latter, the vagina, under the effect of hormones, gets longer and starts to lubricate itself.

Male arousal, as is known, is much simpler and is dominated by the primary hormone: testosterone. When testosterone enters the body, the body of the man warms up. The voice in a tone, and the heart

 

beats faster, the muscles fill with blood - especially one: the penis, which goes into an erection.

Why Make Love

For yourself, first of all. For your couple, second. A woman who knows how to make love is a happy woman, satisfied even if she can't reach orgasm every time, she practices sex.

How to make love the first time

If you are making love for the first time, or if you are a virgin, ask yourself if you are ready and if you want the person to share your experience with.

It does not matter that you have never made love before, you are looking for advice for the first time or that you have only a vague idea on how to do it: relax and enjoy the moment, because the first time is always something a bit strange, imperfect but, at the same time, unforgettable.

And remember that it is not said that with the breaking of the hymen, you will experience some pain or discomfort because it varies a lot from woman to woman.

When he makes love for the first time

If instead, the first time concerns your partner, do not believe that for him it will not be so strange or that he already knows how to make love or that he has enough experience to make you crazy with pleasure.

On the contrary: the first sexual relationship is something extraordinarily new to both, so there is no problem if one of them does not know how to make the other enjoy 100%.

 

Making Love for The First Time with A New Partner

If instead, you make love for the first time with a new partner it means that there is already enough affinity between you two, even if some doubts could arise on how to do it the first time because you don't know him enough.

Even in this case, relax you both want it and it will be beautiful just for this.

How to make love well

As you gain experience or get to know your partner better, you will begin to ask yourself how to make love well and in the best way. This is also an indication of the couple's health: asking how to give pleasure to the partner is the secret of a relationship that works and

a sign of generosity that arises under the sheets and soon moves into everyday life outside the sexual sphere.

Inserting in the repertoire an assorted range of foreplay is the starting point for reinvigorating sexual desire, refining the art of oral sex (both fellatio and cunnilingus) is the next step.

To make good love, it is really necessary to share the other's emotions and feelings and what's better than a love letter? Of course, there are emails, text messages, WhatsApp messages, and even Skype calls, but a love letter is immensely more romantic and will help you to write down all the feelings that the partner arouses in you. And expressing to him how beautiful it is to make love with him will be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Do something spontaneous. The planned romantic ideas are fabulous. But sometimes even a little spontaneous romanticism can

 

be very aphrodisiac: sometimes even a spontaneous quickie can be just as fantastic, don't you think?

Making love is not just having sex so limiting oneself to simple vaginal penetration means condemning oneself to a boring and unsatisfactory sex life for both: here the ancient book of Kamasutra comes to your aid making you discover new very romantic sexual positions to experiment with the partner.

The fifth step to keep the agreement with the partner high passes from the experimentation of intense and pleasant erotic games for couples , during which you and your partner can reveal your sexual desires that have remained hidden until now: making love in secret, or doing outdoor love at the risk of being discovered will give you knew and strong emotions. The erotic affinity and the satisfaction in bed will benefit enormously and you will have many more secrets of the couple to keep hidden from your friends. On the other hand, it is not written anywhere that one must necessarily make love in bed.

Hot lingerie and sex toys are the next steps towards sexual pleasure and mutual satisfaction. Experimenting together, taking off the whims creates complicity and intimacy because your secrets will be yours and vice versa. But beware of timing, especially with regard to erotic toys, it's always better to talk about it first rather than take them out

of the nightstand drawer all of a sudden: not necessarily of interest to either, some people might feel disgusted.

Like making love all night long. Here you find the answer in tantric sex because, as we have said: in all couples, to make good love is essential to cultivate sexual intimacy, as important as emotional intimacy. And tantric sex can lead to a very intimate and intimate

 

relationship and trying this experience with your partner will lead you to reach the heights of ecstasy.

Finally, but not the last point to consider, there is the question of contraceptives: whether you choose the pill, the diaphragm, or a condom, it is important that you take care of your health by avoiding even unwanted conceptions.

Things Not to Do After Making Love

Making love is an act of fusion and love between two people who love each other, it requires delicacy and a lot of attention, especially after the report. Indeed, many people do not think to lead a sex life fulfilled because of certain habits of their partners who come to spoil their pleasure after the sexual act. So, to help you know them and specially to avoid them, here are things not to do after making love!

Do Not Sleep Separately After Sex

Men often want to sleep after having sex, but women may be ready for another round after 10 to 20 minutes. Try to synchronize your sleep schedules so that you can sleep together after having sex.

Leave Instantly After Sex

Getting up and leaving the bed or bedroom after having sex with your partner is the ultimate sign of a lack of delicacy. The latter will see that you are distant and cold, which is bad for your relationship especially if you want to have a serious and lasting relationship.

Take Selfies During the Sex Act

Selfies are the trend today, and some even take them during their intimate moments with their partners. Avoid being part of it especially if your partner is not ready for this kind of photography.

 

Use Your Phone While Being Together

It's not at all appropriate to do this during or after sex, it's a lack of consideration for your partner to be on the phone for a long time during or after making love. This is a lack of respect for the person and for the moment that you share together.

Work After Sex

Working or studying can be bad if done immediately after the end of intercourse. Cuddle and have fun after the reports. Then you can go to work or study, it will be much better for both of you. What happens after intercourse is crucial for the future of your relationship. Try not to forget it.

Sleeping After Sex

According to several studies, the human brain is inclined to fall asleep after an orgasm, due to the feeling of fullness and relaxation after pleasure. Whether for the man or the woman, it is quite natural, needless to blame your partner, although it is possible to make efforts on it.

Go to The Kitchen

if you are hungry after sex, invite at least your partner to the kitchen or ask him if he wants something, so that you can eat together, instead of doing it separately.

Watch TV or Read

Reading is a good activity that makes you more intelligent and cultured. This does not give you an excuse to leave your partner behind after having sex together. Stay together for another half an

 

hour or an hour after sex, then go about your business. Do not make a sudden cut.

Avoid Raising Your Pelvis Unless You Want to Conceive A Baby

According to the researchers, raising your pelvis while keeping your back low increases the chances of conceiving a baby. This may be a good or a bad thing depending on your intentions for the next nine months, but it's good to keep in mind.

Clean Sex Toys after Use

Just because sex is over, does not mean that the toys are ready to be tidied up. Always remember to thoroughly clean sex toys after you have finished using them to protect yourself and your partner

from undesirable diseases and infections. But this could wait an hour or two after enjoying a moment of tenderness with your partner after your sexual intercourse.

 

Chapter 3.  Sex Toys for Beginners

Some people view sex toys as something that is for those who have wild kinks or those who cannot perform without assistance of some sort. In reality, though, sex toys are designed to increase and enhance pleasure for anyone. By using sex toys, you do not have to engage in anything wild or anything that you are uncomfortable with. You are also not admitting that you have a sexual problem by using a sex toy.

One of the ways in which sex toys can improve your sex life is that they allow you to focus on one area of the body while the sex toy takes care of pleasure in another. For example, a sex toy that is designed to pleasure a woman’s clitoris will do so while you can focus on her nipples or her vagina.

Solo

When you are masturbating, sex toys can improve your sex life as well. Sex toys are able to give you the type of pleasure that you experience when someone else’s hands are touching you while you are alone. That way, you can enjoy the pleasure of a great orgasm without having your hands become too tired or without doing too much physical work.

With a Partner

When with a partner, sex toys are beneficial in that they allow you both to achieve pleasure at the same time. It is more difficult for women to achieve orgasm, especially during penetration. By using a sex toy, it can level the playing field so that you are able to reach

 

orgasm together. This depends on the sex toys you use, but for the most part, this is a great benefit that they are able to provide.

Best Sex Toys for Beginners

In order to choose the right sex toy for yourself, there are a couple of questions that you would need to answer first.

Is this toy to be used alone during masturbation? Is it to be used with a partner?

Is it to be used with multiple partners?

Is it to be used for all of the above or two of the above? Do you want it to have a vibrating function?

An insertion functions. Will you use it anally? Vaginally?

Both?

Do you want it to be customizable (depending on your mood or the partner you are with)?

Once you establish this, you will be able to narrow down your search. Answering all of these questions will help you to determine which type of sex toy is right for you (and your partner). Once you

have done this, you will be able to then look specifically at the type of sex toy you want, for example, vibrators with no insertion option. You can then examine all of the available brands, shapes, and sizes of these types of sex toys and make your selection based on your personal preference.

 

If you are unsure of the answers to any or all of these questions, that is okay too. Feel free to do some research before you visit a store by browsing around on an online store to see what options are available to you. Below you can find descriptions of toys that are best for female pleasure, for male pleasure and toys that are great for couples too.

If you want something that you can begin using with no sex toy experience and you want it to be versatile enough to work for multiple uses, I will present some examples of the best sex toys for beginners below.

The Vibrator

A vibrator is probably the most common sex toy available for female pleasure. Vibrators are the best choice for women who are new to sex toys and are unsure of what they may be looking for. A vibrator is a nice and easy place to start, and it can be used in a variety of ways. They can be used by a woman alone during masturbation, by a woman with a partner. They can be used during penetration and during foreplay. Vibrators are such a versatile sex toy as they come in so many different shapes, sizes and materials.

1. Clitoral Vibrator

The first type of vibrator we will discuss is the clitoral vibrator. This type of vibrator is small and compact, portable, and easy to use. This type can be turned on with the push of a button and is then held to the clitoris by a woman or her partner for quick and intense clitoral pleasure. This type of vibration on the clitoris leads to pleasure like nothing else. This is because it can vibrate at speeds much higher than your hands could ever move. It will be quite a new sensation if

 

you have never used one before, but a sensation that you won’t soon forget.

2. Rabbit Vibrators

There is another type of vibrator which is a little bigger than a clitoral vibrator, and that is used by inserting it into the vagina. This can allow the woman to receive G-Spot stimulation. The vibration

happens on the part that remains outside of the vagina, which makes contact with the clitoris. This allows the woman to receive both types of stimulation at exactly the same time! This will be a new world of pleasure for the woman as she may never have had both her clitoris and her G-Spot stimulated at the same time. These vibrators are called rabbit vibrators as the part that is designed to vibrate on the clitoris is said to look like bunny ears. The entire vibrator will vibrate so that you will also feel some of this vibration on your G-Spot for maximum pleasure.

3. Vibrating Cock Ring

This type of vibrator is used by a man. This can be used by a man alone during masturbation or by a man with a partner. A cock ring without the vibration function was originally designed to keep a man’s penis erect for a longer period of time, as it is a ring made of metal that sits at the base of a man’s penis in order to keep the blood flow inside of his penis. The cock ring is a little different these days, as it is common to have a cock ring that is also a vibrator. A cock ring like this works in much the same way as the original type, but it is usually made of a softer material like silicone. It begins vibrating with the push of a button, just like any other type of vibrator.

 

While wearing this, it will not only keep the man erect for longer, but it will also vibrate on the base of his penis. This can be worn during

masturbation for added pleasure and endurance, or while having sex with a partner. When used with a partner, it leads to increased endurance, which is beneficial for the woman and the man. Another benefit of wearing one of these while you are having penetrative sex with a partner is that the vibration of the ring on the base of the penis can also vibrate on the woman’s clitoris. In specific positions, the woman’s clitoris could touch the base of the man’s penis, which would then act as a clitoral vibrator for her.

The Dildo

A dildo is a penis-like object that provides pleasure by being inserted into the vagina or the anus, and that works in much the same way as a penis does. Dildos can be made of a variety of different materials such as glass, stainless steel, or silicone, and they come in a wide variety of colors and shapes from realistic-looking penises to pink and purple banana-shaped ones. The world of dildos is vast and encompasses any kind of penetrative device you could possibly dream of.

Dildos can be used by a woman or a man on their own while masturbating or with a partner. A woman can use a dildo by inserting it into her vagina to stimulate her G-Spot and a man can use it to stimulate his prostate during masturbation. Dildos can be used with a partner, as well. Your partner can use a dildo on you by inserting it into the vagina or the anus in order to please you. Most dildos can

be taken into the bathtub or shower as well, so you can have shower sex with it if you wish. A dildo can be used in the vagina or the anus,

 

whichever you prefer, and you can use the same dildo for both of these places, so you don’t need to buy two.

Things to Know About Using Sex Toys

There are some things to note regarding sex toys so that you ensure that you are using them safely and sanitarily.

1. Cleaning Sex Toys

Sex toys require regular cleaning since they are going to be coming in contact with bodily fluids and parts of the body that are connected to the inside environment of your body. If you fail to clean them properly, they may end up having a buildup of residue on them, which is not so safe to put inside yourself or inside someone else, especially in sensitive areas like the vagina or the anus. You can

clean many sex toys with gentle soap and water, and some can even go in the dishwasher for a quick and thoroughly clean!

2. Sharing Sex Toys

When it comes to sharing sex toys, it can be okay to do so if you keep a few things in mind. Cleaning is important even if you are the only person that has ever used the sex toy, but this becomes even more important when you are going to be sharing sex toys. If you have multiple partners and you share sex toys among them, or if you sleep with someone that may have other partners, ensure that you clean them well before you use them.

Depending on the material that they are made of, you may need to clean them in different ways, but generally using a gentle soap and hot water is a good way to clean them. This is so that you can kill bacteria and prevent the possible spread of any sex-related diseases or viruses that could be transmitted through the sharing of sex toys.

 

Another option for protecting yourself from this to put a condom on the toy if it is penis-shaped or if it is a dildo. This will prevent the spread of many diseases, especially if you and your partner have multiple partners.

3. Don’t Make Your Own Sex Toys

What it comes to insertion and penetration, it is important to only use sex toys that are intended to be used as sex toys. If you use makeshift sex toys, like things you would find in the kitchen or in the garage, you could end up hurting yourself or your partner. It may seem like a good alternative since many objects are penis-shaped, but this is not a safe option. Sex toys have been designed with specific amounts of flexibility, compressibility, specific materials, and specific textures designed for the most sensitive parts of our bodies. For this reason, we do not want to try to make our own sex toys, as none of these factors will have been considered. Please ensure that you are not inserting things into yourself that were made for any other purpose than to be inserted into yourself in those specific

areas and in those specific ways. Lubricants

There are many different types of lubricants that you can use to make your sex glide easier and feel more pleasurable. I will go into more detail about the different types of lubrication below, but first, we will look at the benefits of using any lubrication during sex in general. Lubrication has been shown to have sex better in many ways, the first of which is that it makes all body parts glide better and slide easier, which means no painful dry skin-on-dry skin friction.

Lubrication has also been shown to increase the intensity of both

 

male and female orgasms. As I mentioned earlier, in order to have an orgasm vaginally for women or anally for either sex, constant rhythmic penetration is required. Lubrication makes this possible because of the ease of movement, which it allows for, which helps maintain a rhythm.

Lubrication can also be used for masturbation both with sex toys or with hands and fingers alone. This can be done for both men and women because it will make toys or fingers move and glide easier, which will lead to more pleasure. Lubrication will make both clitoral stimulation and penile stroking more pleasant because it will eliminate any skin-on-skin friction that would occur due to a lack of a lubricated condom, or in the case of male masturbation- the lack of a female’s natural vaginal lubrication to act as a lubricant on the penis.

Synthetic Lubricants

The first type we will talk about are synthetic lubricants. There are different types of these- water-based and silicone-based lubricants. The type of lubricant you choose will depend on what type of sex toy you are using and what your intended placement is.

Silicone-Based Lubricant

Silicone-based lube is the type of lube you will want to use if you want to have sex in the bathtub, shower, or any environment involving water since it won’t rinse off when it becomes wet. If you are not using it to have sex in a wet environment, the other benefit about it is that it will usually only need to be applied once and will stay thick and doing its job for the duration of your session. This makes silicone-based lube a great choice for activities involving anal sex because it is thicker and longer-lasting than other forms of

 

lubrication. When having anal sex of any sort, ample lubrication is required and choosing the longer-lasting sort of lube will be best.

The drawback, though, is that this type of lubrication is not very easy to clean. This is because it cannot be rinsed off by only using water. This variety of lubrication requires you to use soap and scrub it off of whatever you are cleaning it off of, like a penis or your vaginal area. Silicone-based lubricants aren’t ideal on a silicone-based sex toy because it can cause the toy to break down quickly over time than it normally would.

Water-Based Lubricant

Water-based lubricant is very easy to clean as it can be rinsed off of your body or your sex toys with water alone. The drawback, though, is that if you enjoy shower sex, bathtub sex, pool sex, or any sex involving the water, it will wash away immediately and will not provide any lubrication as soon as it gets wet. This is also why this type of lubrication may need to be reapplied a few times in a session. If you do not have much, shower, or bathtub sex and you use silicone sex toys, then water-based lube would be good for you.

Natural Lubricants

There are also natural lubricants that you can use if you prefer not to use something unnatural inside of your body. I will outline the natural lubricant options available to you.

Oils

As an alternative to synthetic lubrication, you can use natural oils as a lubricant. Oil is beneficial because it is so versatile in its uses. Oil can be used as a massage aid for some sensual foreplay massaging; it can be used without being washed off before oral sex

 

because of its natural roots and its flavor that would not be terrible in your mouth. If you prefer something natural as a lubricant, then oil will likely be your choice. Many people will use coconut oil for this purpose. It can be used as an edible lubricant as it is often seen in cooking and smoothies. The one drawback to oil-based lubricants, though, is that they can’t be used with condoms because they will deteriorate the condom and cause it to break.

Gels

There are some gels that are made for sexual encounters that are also a great option due to their versatility. For example, a popular option is Aloe Vera gel that can be used both as a massage gel during foreplay and as a lubricant during penetrative sex. If you live in a hot environment or take this gel with you on vacation, it can also be used as an after-sun gel for burnt skin. This way, soothing your partner’s sunburn could turn into quite a sensual and maybe even sexual experience.

 

Chapter 4.  Mind and Body Intimacy

Physical intimacy isn't simply bouncing into bed with somebody. Here's the meaning of physical intimacy just as hindrances to physical intimacy and approaches to beat them. Physical intimacy involves both exotic and sexual action ordinarily between two people and the sharing of responses, contemplations, and feelings that are engaged with these exercises.

It is conceivable to be physically intimate with somebody without really touching the person in question; in any case, a specific nearness is important. For example, nearness and supported eye to eye connection is a type of physical intimacy. When there is nakedness, yet at the same time no contact, the level of physical intimacy is elevated.

For example, there is a game where a couple may attempt to perceive how close they can get to one another without really contacting. Another game includes running hands along the shapes of an individual's body without contacting the person in question.

These methods regularly raise sexual excitement. At the point when an individual enters another person's personal space to be cozy, it is physical intimacy, paying little heed to the absence of genuine physical contact.

There is the general subject of a personal relationship. There is an understanding that every one of these things can be joined in the intimacy between two individuals the further their relationship develops. Physical associations like sex and passionate associations likewise involve love and relational interactions.

 

Genital connections exist between two individuals with physical or passionate intimacy. While the term genital relationship generally suggests the consideration of sexual movement, the term is likewise used to demonstrate an association with something beyond sexual action. Genital connections keep up a key job in the general human experience since they include passionate associations with others.

This might be sentiment, physical or sexual fascination, sexual movement, or enthusiastic help, while additionally helping individuals create solid relational associations.

All in all, the inquiry exists, "Are sex and intimacy different things?" We may likewise ask, "Would you be able to have one without the other? Or on the other hand, does one lead to another?" There are many clashing conclusions on the roles of sex and intimacy inside and outside of connections. Since no two individuals have similar thoughts on sex, there is no limited response to any of these issues. In a customary structure, sex involves long-term duty or marriage, trailed by enthusiastic intimacy and reproduction. Be that as it may, in an inexorably indiscriminate society, the association among sex and intimacy can be a shaky one.

Physical intimacy is portrayed by companionship, non-romantic love, sentimental love, or sexual action. While there are a few distinct sorts of intimacy, physical intimacy is just one of those. It is frequently about sex, however substantially more. Association and correspondence with others around us manufacture physical intimacy and frequently, fascination in somebody of the opposite sex is the key pointer of physical intimacy.

The incorporation of physical intimacy in human sexuality is another factor that requires thought. It is accounted for that the vast majority

 

want physical intimacy or something to that affect at any rate sporadically, being that it is a characteristic piece of human sexuality. Since this is frequently exotic contacting of any kind, it requires a passageway into another's personal space, while it might be a passionate or sexual act anything from an embrace to a kiss or sex. Enthusiastic or erotic contacting of this sort helps bring about the arrival of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which diminishes

stress. Likewise, without physical intimacy, there are expanded sentiments of depression or disappointment.

There are essential definitions accommodating the meaning of physical intimacy, particularly including the meanings of different words that are part of the physical demonstrations of intimacy. While a significant number of the ones that are essential definitions are not actual sex, they are as yet contacting and physical communication.

It could be a few factors or action words; most regularly stroke or caress. There are additionally equivalent words that mean the same thing, including rub, nestle, cuddle, grasp, embrace, snuggle, pet or pat. It appears to differ to and for, particularly since there can be the incorporation of physical and enthusiastic intimacy as a part of a sexual relationship, making it not really an inclination or activity of its own.

While the different meanings of physical intimacy appear to reference sexual activities or enthusiastic cooperation or the like, that has all the earmarks of being increasingly explicit of "physical." This is considerably more about contacting, regardless of whether it be passionate or arousing, suggesting that "physical intimacy," in general, concentrates substantially more on the first of these two words.

 

Meaning of Sexual Passion

Presently, this might be as basic as solace with individual warmth or with open presentations of fondness as a result of the degree of intimacy being created between two individuals. There is likewise the topic of whether there is sex or sexual passion without feeling or love, and whether it very well may be kept up.

Curiously enough, when searching for the meaning of sexual interest, a significant number of indistinguishable references from physical intimacy show up in various lexicon areas. One extra notice is that of "friendship," something that is additional to the physical contacting and intimacy that accompanies the feelings being communicated. While "friendship" and "love" are not totally the same, this shows there might be something more enthusiastic in the energetic side of this word mix.

Contingent upon the relationship, open expressions of friendship may differ dependent on the social standard in which they get themselves. These expressions can run from straightforward motions like a kiss or embrace to a handshake or holding hands. While this might be a basic welcome, there might be long-term contact or friendly handshake kept up in the open space when these two individuals are very comfortable with one another.

At that point, there are strategies for contact that are seen as sexual in a progressively cozy relationship. As two individuals become more like each other they are calm and can show types of affections when together including:

• Cuddling

 

• Caressing

• Tickling

• Massage

•

Touching or interweaving of legs

These occasions don't require sexual action to have excitement or intimacy, however this would almost certainly demonstrate that it's anything but an explicitly lively relationship. In the event that two individuals are hoping to keep up a relationship, it is more probable they will adhere to an embrace or kiss on the cheek to show care or friendship that isn't explicitly passionate.

Along these lines, physical sexual intimacy can fluctuate in the definition. Some people are more explicitly enthusiastic than others and can bring that degree of intimacy into a sentimental relationship considerably more effectively. There is additionally the way that every individual see sex in any event in a marginally extraordinary way, and usually people address sexual intimacy and enthusiasm in an unexpected way.

Is There A Difference Between Sex and Intimacy, Or One Without the Other?

Sex without love or intimacy is an inquiry that exists at the center of any solid relationship. Since there is the estimation of sex between two individuals who have a physical or loving relationship, there is

 

additionally the significance of characterizing every single distinctive bit of the relationship. General intimacy includes knowing somebody profoundly and the capacity to feel totally open, free and genuine with them. This is something that is normally just felt or experienced with one individual, as this close intimacy is too hard to even consider having with numerous individuals.

In this way, sex in an adoring or intimate relationship will in general be the physical epitome of those emotions. The perfect hypothesis is that this physical intimacy is to be a loving association between the two individuals in a relationship. Both of them inside a relationship are along these lines interconnected: physical intimacy produces sexual enthusiasm, and sexual energy creates sexual intimacy.

There is the capacity to isolate sexual enthusiasm from physical intimacy also. This is if sex is only a physical demonstration, particularly when it happens outside of a relationship. Inside a relationship, sex is the most personal act, yet there are various times when this demonstration can happen. It very well may be a physical demonstration that happens without consent (assault), a demonstration that is paid for (prostitution), or a straightforward physical trade or one-night stand, which is when a person takes another person home after a night of drinking or other celebration with companions, and has sex with them just that one time.

Any man or lady can appreciate a night of sex without love or intimacy, as a rule when there is physical fascination or a desire for happiness in the form of sex. It is regularly a mental question of the distinction between these two, and the general intimate and vulnerable demonstration of offering yourself to another in sex, which would be associated with both sex and intimacy once more.

 

When the assurance of sexual energy or physical intimacy is made, there then comes the subject of sex or having intercourse. With this having been a solid discussion for significant stretches of time, there is the possibility to comprehend this is an autonomous choice to be made. Or if nothing else this would be the chosen term between the two partners who have set up their intimate, sexual relationship.

Since regardless of the term utilized, sex is always a physical demonstration and should be possible without intimacy. In any case, there is the potential for love or intimacy engaged with this demonstration depending on the degree or level of association related between the two partners and if it is something that turns out to be increasingly physical or progressively a type of lovemaking as their relationship develops after some time.

It is likewise essential to recall that loving and intimate couples sometimes can't engage in sexual relations or decide not to do so. There can be ailments that counteract sex, making the physical intimacy in their relationship something of a milder level. This doesn't dispose of the passion or attraction they feel for each other. It likewise doesn't expel different types of physical intimacy and contacting, or quality time spent together to express their affection and feelings for each other.

Instructions to Build Physical Intimacy with Your Partner

At the point when a relationship is all gleaming and new, it's just normal to feel like you can't keep your hands off one another — however, in case you're planning to take care of business with your partner, it's beneficial to make sense of how to create physical

 

intimacy in your relationship that will last past that underlying science.

For a relationship to really flourish, it's so imperative to remain associated with your partner (both explicitly and inwardly) and that is something that will require dynamic exertion from the two partners.

The result? Rather than in the long run failing out, couples who work to create a common feeling of intimacy will be happy and horny long after the sun sets on their special first night stage.

A couple's physical intimacy doesn't remain consistent over the span of their relationship. Indeed, it diminishes once the 'special night stage' is finished and the relationship gets more comfortable and agreeable, and after that returns to rise and fall. Despite the fact that this may not sound hot or fabulous, it is the characteristic course of relationships. Keeping up physical intimacy takes work and won't simply happen naturally. In the event that couples disregard effectively working on their personal lives, it will diminish in time.

Indeed, it takes "work" to keep up a solid, dynamic sexual coexistence — however, what could be more enjoyable to work on? In the event you need to become considerably nearer to your partner (and raise the stakes in the room while you're busy), here are eight exercises you can attempt with your partner to create physical intimacy.

D Relax Your Bodies with Yoga

You don't need to be a certified yogi to receive the rewards of doing yoga or meditating with your partner. Both are a simple method to get to know each other and relate while you loosen up your bodies and get profoundly and physically closer. As far as I can tell yoga

 

can be a magnificent method to be active together. Because of its moderate pace and reflective nature, yoga permits you both to interface with your very own bodies and with one another.

D Try Mutual Masturbation

There's nothing more personal than watching a partner delight themselves, which is the reason common masturbation is something each couple should attempt, as well as it being an increasingly intimate practice that I prescribe to numerous customers. One partner makes themselves comfortable on the bed/loveseat/floor, and the other partner sits close by to watch them... The component of seeing is entirely important here, on the grounds that as individuals we ache for to be found in our most crude and

unadulterated position - in our pleasure... As you're seeing them, see how they're touching themselves, where they touch, what sort of weight they use and whether they use oil. This will give you brilliant bits of knowledge into how to delight them better.

D Join

A Team Sport

In case you're a functioning couple, one fun approach to create physical intimacy is to combine a group activity — it'll get your blood pimping and help you bond. Combining a group activity... enables you as a team to progress in the direction of a shared objective as you are getting a workout. It is a bonding experience to be in a situation where you can express forceful emotions with another person. Also, this opportunity, to demonstrate your natural driving forces, can convert into more energy in the room."

D Take Late-Night Walks Together

 

Physical intimacy doesn't need to be unmistakably sexual: in any event, something as basic as going for a walk together each night can enable you to feel progressively close to your partner. End the day together, strolling outside, hand in hand. Allow yourself to use up your abundance of energy by the day's end, and associate with the outside and one another. Numerous couples find that they have significant, concentrated dialogs on their walk or simply appreciate being quiet together. These strolls bring about a more profound passionate association which assumes a focal job in sexual desire.

D Discussion About Your Turn-Ons

One straightforward approach to improve physical intimacy in your relationship. Plunk down outside the room and converse with your partner about your sexual cohabitation: what turns you on, what wrinkles do you need to investigate together, and what sexual encounters you find super-hot.

"Discussing sex can be troublesome; it's not something the vast majority of us grow up talking about straightforwardly," Fisher says. "Discussing sex during sexual intimacy can be significantly all the scarier. So pick a day during the week... what's more, talk about three things: something you liked that your partner did sexually; something you'd like to see done differently (this can be sharing something you did together that you didn't care for, something new you might want to attempt, or something you might want to do more, or to do somewhat differently); and something that you acknowledge or appreciate about your partner."

D Practice "Body Worship"

 

One significant part of building physical intimacy with your partner. Becoming acquainted with and effectively indicating thankfulness for one another's bodies (both inside and outside the room).

In view of tantric practices, this includes one partner effectively concentrating on giving joy, while the other partner works on getting attention and delight. The dynamic supplier first sets up a comfortable, supported position in a sheltered situation for the beneficiary. The provider at that point explores an assortment of touch, beginning in non-erogenous zones, and later blending in and rotating erogenous touch and non-erogenous touch. This enables partners to find out about one another's bodies.

D Give Each Other Massages

You most likely don't require a reason to ask for backrubs more often, however it's as yet incredible news that you can utilize erotic massage to improve your sexual harmony and physical relationship with your partner.

Intimate erotic massage is a magnificent way to unwind and get in a state of peace with one another. It's a simple erotic massage that couples can alternate doing that can significantly expand their relationship and sexual harmony. For the individual giving the erotic massage it lets them increase their capacity to detect how their partner reacts to various sorts of touch. It likewise helps the individual accepting the erotic massage to enhance their capacity to feel while being touched.

If exotic erotic massages are a touch outside your customary range of familiarity, that is OK: every couple will have different inclinations

 

with regards to how they handle their physical intimacy. At last, the only thing that is in any way important is that you and your partner are both ready to demonstrate your love for one another — both in- and outside of the room.

 

Chapter 5.  Oral Sex Techniques

Oral sex can be instrumental in improving an individual's or a couple's sex life. In the case of women, oral sex before intercourse helps in loosening the vaginal muscles as well as increasing lubrication whereas, for men, it helps in having stronger erections by increasing the flow of blood to the penis. However, finding the oral sex position that works for you is a game of trial and error.

The sexual act of having your partner's genitals in your mouth, on your tongue or in between your lips rather than putting their genital in your mouth or gunning to fill their hole all the time. Now, you understand that you may perform oral sex on your male or female partner.

From all angles, you may choose to analyze it; standard medical research across the world have endorsed oral sex. It has been interpreted as 'safe' for anyone to try when they feel the desire to. There are always precautions to take as you would expect; there are also valuable lessons to learn in each instance.

How would it taste like?

Quite frankly, there is no way to generalize the experience of oral sex. Some enjoy it a lot, and others, the other way. It can heighten the excitement in your bodies during sex. It can also be grouped as a healthy seduction foreplay that could turn your partner on. All that is apart from its role as a direct substitute to penile-vagina penetration. In case you are still wondering what, it tastes likes, it is fantastic!

Every human has got a personal taste down there, you shouldn't hope to meet a garden rose smell too but be sure it is fantastic.

 

When your partner uses their mouth to pleasure your genitals, that's oral sex. The correct terms for this are fellatio (blow jobs) and cunnilingus (going down). A popular misconception is that oral sex is not sex, but it is. No intercourse may be involved, but make no mistake, this is still classified as sex. You might say that oral sex is like the entree leading up to the main event.

The kneeling oral sex position

The kneeling oral sex position is considered as the standard oral sex position for administering oral sex to a man. To perform the kneeling oral sex position on your man, he as to be in a situation where he is facing you after which you go ahead and get on to your knees as your man maintains his position standing upright. On your knees, your head will be pretty much in line with his pelvic region, thus making it easier to administer the oral sex.

How to do it?

Just from the name, you can already create a vivid picture of what it is. The man stands in an almost upright posture and then the woman shows submission by kneeling on the ground and pleasuring him.

Another crucial point is that if the partners have agreed on it, he can make use of his hand to hold the back the woman's head and consequently thrust her head gently towards his groin. These thrusts might get intense when he is overwhelmed by the sensation of the woman's tongue and lips working on his member. Take that not everybody likes the thrusting idea, therefore make sure that you ask them whether they are comfortable with you doing that.

The man could also use the hand placed behind his partner's head to gently pull her closer as she takes in the man's manhood into the

 

mouth. These slow and gentle thrusts help the man to determine the depth and speed in which the courage goes in and out of the mouth.

In case the woman has long hair that flows to her face, he could make use of the free hand to hold her hair for her to prevent them from being an obstruction to the process of oral sex. Besides, if the hair keeps on bothering her, her mind might wander off the oral sex so that she could concentrate on the nose.

Why should you love the kneeling oral sex position?

As we mentioned earlier, a lot of people consider the kneeling oral sex position as the standard oral sex position, whereas, in some instances, others find it annoying. Nonetheless, over the years, it has maintained its title the excellent oral sex position because it has numerous variations to it, and you do not have to be flexible to execute it necessarily.

Another advantage is that getting into a Kneeling position is something that can be done almost instantly. Therefore, it comes in handy in cases where you and your partner get overwhelmed with the heat of the moment. All you have to do is kneel and get down to business.

Taking into consideration that the oral sex position can be carried out on several places like the couch, the bed, and on a chair, you and your partner are spoilt for choice. Therefore, you have to discuss

with him so that you carry out a little bit of an experiment to figure out what works for both of you.

This type of oral sex position is great because it gives the woman enough room to move back and forth as well as up and down as she administers the oral sex

 

Additional tips on the kneeling oral sex position

Make sure that you incorporate a lot of eye contact to improve the intimacy and pleasure of oral sex.

Ensure that your knees are protected -In some cases the ground on which you are kneeling might be rough and you might end up getting bruises or even cuts. Therefore, consider using pillows or any other comfortable materials.

Where should you do it? – Just like regular sexual intercourse, the best place to give your man oral sex is in the bedroom. However, try to be adventurous or creative and try new areas like the bathroom or the living room.

Squatting or kneeling? - In some instances, you might be in situations where you do not feel like kneeling on the hard floor. Squatting can be an excellent replacement for this.

Reach around- When you are on your knees, do not just kneel, there are several things you could do to spice up the whole thing. For example, you could use your hand to caress and fondle him to give him maximum pleasure.

Boss' Chair oral sex position

This oral sex position derives its name from the simple reason that your man will feel special because he is comfortably seated as you submissively kneel to please him. Therefore, it is an oral sex position where your man sits comfortably and in a relaxed posture as you administer oral sex on him.

How to do it?

 

Make sure that your man sits somewhere he feels comfortable and relaxed. He should sit in such a way that the spreads his legs, leaving enough space in between the legs where his you can fit comfortably. The woman can then move into space between his legs and get down to businesses of pleasing him.

You might be forced to support your arms by placing them on the man's laps. You can choose to either squat or kneel depending on what works for boss chair

When to use the boss' chair oral sex position?

If your man is in the bedroom with you, it is effortless to try this position, mainly if he is seated in the same way he sits on the couch, with his feet dangling slightly above the floor or on the floor. Another appropriate place to administer oral sex using the boss chair position would be in the living room area watching TV or when he is on the computer doing something.

Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Do not openly show him that you intend to administer oral sex because ambushes will yield more results. For instance, if he is seated like a "boss" on the couch watching TV with his legs widespread, just walk up to him and get into position and go-ahead to give him oral sex. It will catch him off- guard, and he will like it.

Extra tips for the Boss Chair Oral Sex Position

Role-play-A very excellent way to catapult the Boss' chair position to an entirely new level would be by bringing up an element of role- playing or fantasy. For instance, you could start by putting on a sexy dress so that you look like a model and then go over to where he is and play that fantasy role as you administer oral sex to him.

 

A surprise at half time-Whenever you and your man are having alone time at home, and you are probably watching your favorite team play on TV, be patient until the half period and then go into the bedroom and change into something he will find hard to resist. Perhaps lingerie, and then go back to where he is and make sure you do not say a word, just get into the boss 'chair position and get into action right away. It is a guarantee that your man will feel extremely pleasured.

Tie down-If you are of the idea of being a little bit dominant, and you are sure he is okay with it, you could try to tie his hands and legs onto the chair before administering the oral sex.

Regular Oral Sex Position

The proper oral sex position is arguably the only oral sex technique that majority of girls employ on their men during sex in the bedroom.

The regular oral sex position is probably one of the most uncomplicated techniques for administering oral sex. Here, the man has to lie on his back on the bed or any other comfortable surface with his legs spread widely. After that, you have to lie down on either side of your man and make sure that your head is positioned close to his pelvic region. Whenever you are comfortable and ready, all that you have to do is get down to business.

Extra tips on how to do the regular oral sex position

Switch off the lights- If you have ever administered oral sex before, then you must have realized that sometimes you might feel anxious or even nervous. The best way to solve this problem and do away with the nervousness would be to switch off the lights before going down to give him oral sex. If the first option does not work for you,

 

the second option would be to administer the oral sex underneath the beddings. It is usual for some people to act shy whenever they give their man oral sex because they know the man is looking at them, or maybe they have the fear that they are not doing it the right way whereas others are merely shy. If you match any of the descriptions above, try out the solutions mentioned above. They might be a game-changer for you.

Incorporate your hands- Whenever you go down on your man for quite some time, you might find out that jaw and mouthy start to feel fatigued. The best way to give the jaws and mouth a break as you continue satisfying your man would be by using your hands as a substitute for the mouth.

Foreplay- Just like intercourse, for oral sex also to be pleasurable, you have to prepare your man psychologically Set the mood before getting down to business. You have to make a smooth transition from the foreplay to going down on him. You can begin by straddling him, caressing him, kissing him from his lips followed by his neck, then chest and stomach so that by the team you get to the crotch he will be extremely ready for the oral sex.

Caressing the stomach-When you are down to the business of giving him oral sex, attempt to touch his stomach or chest. Doing this cultivates so much intimacy in comparison to performing oral sex alone.

Tie your hair or request that he holds it for you- If your hair is long and you have a feeling that it will get into your way, make an effort to tie it before the auction begins. However, or if you get caught up in the moment, you can simply ask him to hold it for you.

 

Cinema Oral Sex Position

The cinema oral sex position is where both the man and the woman are sitting next to each other, side-by-side just the same way they sit in cinemas. In this position, all you have to do is lean over, unzip your man's fly and get down to business. As you do so, your man remains seated the same way he was sitting.

It is important to note that the Cinema Oral Sex Position does not have to be necessarily performed in a cinema. As long as you are seated side-by-side in a comfortable place, you can play this position.

If you have never performed oral sex before, I am sure you are curious, and you want to try it out. However, it is essential to come to the realization that most men appreciate if you systematically build- up to the main event. Therefore, rather than just jumping onto your man's zip, it would be better if you started gradually.

To begin with, you could caress him using your hands with a particular focus on his testicles and penis. Do it gently for some time in a way that will arouse him. After that reach for his pants and gently but steadily tease his penis and testicles. This should go on for a few minutes so that the sexual urge in him keeps growing. After this, you can now take the big step and go-ahead to perform oral sex.

Extra Tips for Cinema Oral Sex Position

Give your man some control- The most excellent way to make that moment worthwhile, mainly if you are the kind of woman that likes a man who is always in control, give him the mantle of controlling the depth as well as the pace. He can do this by placing his hand at the back of your head so that he controls the back and forth movements.

 

However, if you are not for the idea, then you tell him that you do not like it that way.

Make use of your hands –The cinema oral sex position does not require you to use your hand to support yourself. Therefore, this means that you can use it to massage his testicles and stroke his penis in turns.

The Thigh Pillow Position

This oral sex position is ideal for those lazy days because it is relaxed more than the other positions like the cinema position.

How is the Thigh Pillow Oral Sex Position performed?

Performing this oral sex position on your man requires that you make use of his thigh as a pillow. Here, your man has to first position himself properly by lying on his side; then he should place his legs in such a way that leg that is on the mattress is in front whereas the other leg is stretched out at the back. He should also make sure that the leg at the back stays exactly where it is. Now, move in and take up your position by laying down on your side and then proceed to place your head on the thigh of the leg that is in front. In this position, your head will be directly linked with your crotch. Therefore, all you have to do is give him oral sex.

Additional Tips for the Thigh Pillow Oral Sex Position

You can wrap around- You can opt to be more comfortable by holding by firmly holding your man's other thigh or even his waist to draw him closer to you.

The thigh pillow position enables you to lie down in opposite directions with your man, where your head is where his feet are and

 

vice versa. This position can allow you to perform oral sex on your man efficiently. All you have to do is pull or push yourself to a place where your head is lined up with his pelvic region. On the other end, your man could also return the favor by performing oral sex on you as well.

Explore Other Places other than the Bedroom- Something else that is fascinating about the thigh pillow position is that you do not have to do it in bed necessarily. Be creative and try other options like performing it on a large couch or a floor that has been carpeted.

 

Chapter 6.  Anal Sex

a. Guide to anal sex

Lubrication

The key to anal sex is lubrication! You will need to make sure that both the penis (and dildo) and the anus are well-lubricated in order for anal sex to be pleasurable for everyone involved. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself like the vagina does, so you have to make sure you do it yourselves before having anal sex.

Relaxation

The next point to keep in mind is relaxation. The anus will open gradually as you start to play around and inside of it a little bit. As you slide something into it, it will respond by opening up and relaxing, but this may take a few minutes. Having the person be relaxed and comfortable is very important. Remember to let it do its thing, and just slowly enjoy the process without rushing it. If the person is too nervous, it will take longer for their anus to

relax. Removal

The next thing to note is that if you are going to remove something like a toy or a penis from the anus, it is important to make sure the person is relaxed and lubricated (as stated above). More importantly, they must be expecting the removal of whatever was inserted into their anus to happen. If you try to quickly remove it without the person expecting it, their body will reflexively tense the anus, and it will lead to a painful experience, possibly for both people if it was a penis inserted.

 

Remembering these three points will help you to have a positive and enjoyable anal sex experience for your first time. There are a few more things to note in order to ensure that you have safe anal sex.

These points are related to hygiene and sex toys and will likely become more relevant when you are more experienced with anal sex. You are not required to buy two different toys- one for anal and one for vaginal use, but it is important to remember that if something was in your anus or anyone else’s, you want to wash it thoroughly before you insert it near or into your vagina or near or into anyone else’s vagina. The reason for this is because there are bacteria in the anus that when brought into the vagina or near the urethra can lead to an infection of the bladder. In order to avoid this, after using

an anal sex toy or after inserting a penis into the anus with a condom on it, wash the sex toy thoroughly with soap and hot water, or

change the condom. If you used a toy anally- say a dildo, and you want to use it vaginally in the same session, make sure to either put a condom on it both times but switch the condom in between, put a condom on it for anal sex and take it off for vaginal sex or use it for anal sex, wash it and then put a condom on it for vaginal sex.

Finally, when using any sort of toys anally, make sure that they are either long enough so that they cannot be inserted all the way in, or if they are not as long as this, (like anal beads or a butt plug), ensure that they have a ring or a handle on the end so that you can easily remove them when you are ready to take them out. If they do not have a ring or a handle or some means of being removed, do not insert them into your anus. This is because it would be easy to get something stuck in your anus. The reason this can happen is that when trying to remove something from the anus with your fingers,

 

the anus will use a reflex that closes the sphincter and will make it very, very difficult to retrieve anything. If you are trying to use your fingers to get it out and the anus closes up on you reflexively, there will not be enough space inside for you to grab onto the toy, and you will just end up pushing it farther into the anus. This will end up causing more of a problem.

The anal sex position to try Rear entry

In this position, the couple has more skin to skin contact, and as a result, it aids intimacy. The receiving partner lies on their belly and spreads their legs apart. The giving partner, usually the man, gets on top, facing the same direction as the receiving partner. He props himself on by placing his hands by the sides of his partner. He enters his partner.

Similar to the spooning position, the rear-entry position supports closeness, body contact, and intimacy. Its downside, however, is that it can be uncomfortable for the receiving partner if the giving partner on top is overweight or has a big stomach. The weight will put pressure on the back of the receiving partner, and this can have sex not so enjoyable. To curb this, the giving partner has to be careful

not to lean down so much on his partner. Highchair

This is a rare anal sex position for couples who love to explore. Couples who try the highchair position understand that normal is boring, and they are willing to put in the effort to have mind-blowing sex.

 

In this position, the receiving partner sits on a high stool or chair with their butt sticking out of the chair. This is so the asshole can be accessible to the giving partner. The man stands behind her, grabs her waist, hips or shoulders for leverage, and penetrates. Depending on the height of the chair, the receiving partner is sitting on, the man might have to squat or kneel. Whether he stands, squats, or kneels, the goal is to have his penis at the same level as the butt of the receiving partner. However, it’d be more flexible, and he’d be more in control if he stands.

This position is adventurous and cool. The man can also extend his hands and grab on to the boobs of his partner. He can also reach below and stimulate her vagina while thrusting in and out of her from the rear. In this position, the man is totally in charge, and the receiving partner only has to try to stay in place and maintain her balance. This limitation of the part of the receiving partner can be a downside for many, especially those who want to get involved. A remedy to this is performing this position in front of a high table, kitchen counter, or wall. In this case, the receiving partner can push back against the man, thus getting involved.

Leapfrog

The leapfrog anal sex position is similar to the turtle position. The difference here is that the woman leans out instead of closer to herself.

The woman gets on her kneel like she would in doggy position. She leans down till her chest is on the bed, and her back is arched. She props herself up on her elbows and spreads out her hands in front of

 

her. The man gets on his knees behind her and penetrates her from the rear.

This variant of the doggy anal sex position is just as exciting and pleasurable. A downside of this position is that if the couple stays in it for so long, the woman’s elbow can begin to hurt. She can, however, remedy it by placing them on a very soft object like the sheets or pillow.

Turtle position

The turtle sex position enhances the thrill of anal sex. In this rear entry kneeling position, the receiving partner gets on her knees and leans down to the floor. If done well, her butt is raised high, and her head is on the floor. To further get into this position, she should wrap her hands around her thigh.

The man gets on his knee behind her, grabs her hips for leverage, and enters her. The animalistic nature of this position is its thrill.

Also, it is good for couples who want a mild feel of BDSM. In this position, the receiving partner is totally submissive to the giving partner. The giving partner is totally in charge and decides the pace, rhythm, and angle of thrusting.

The downside of the turtle anal sex position is the receiving partner can easily get tired and uncomfortable. Also, the position requires a lot of flexibility on the part of the receiving partner. As you may tell already, this style does not foster intimacy. It’s more about sexual satisfaction than intimacy and connection.

Burning man

In this position, the woman stands in front of a table or sofa and leans on top of it. The man stands behind her, grabs on to her waist

 

or hip, and enters her. In this position, there is enough balance, so the man can go as vigorous and rough as they want.

There may not be room for intimacy in the burning man position, but there is room for rough, wild sex.

Pearly gates

This woman on top position is a good position for body contact and intimacy for the lovers. It also allows the man to run his hands through the upper body of the receiving partner and caress her boobs.

To get into this position, the man lies on his back, spreads his legs slightly apart, and places his on the bed. If done well, the man’s legs are not entirely stretched out. His feet placed on the bed props up his knee slightly. The woman sits on top of his and slides his penis into her anus. When the penis is safely and comfortably in, she lies

back on him. If done well, she is lying on top of him facing upward, in the same direction as him. She places her feet on the bed, outside his thighs.

This position is good for slow and sensual thrusting. So, it can be said that its downside is that it is not a good position for rough sex. It, however, fosters intimacy as a result of the skin to skin position of

the couple. Also, the man can wrap his hands around the woman and caress her nipples and breasts.

Another downside of the pearly gates anal sex position is that it requires the woman to be light-weighted. Because a big part of her weight is resting on the man, it can become very uncomfortable for him if she is a bigger size.

Jockey sex

 

The Jockey sex position is a man on top position that gives the man total control.

In this position, the man is in total control. He can decide to go hard or slow, and he also decides the rhythm and angle of penetration.

However, the woman can alter the angle of penetration by placing a pillow under her pelvis. Not only will this change the angle of penetration, it will raise her buttocks slightly higher and closer to him.

In this position, the woman relaxes and enjoys all that the man is doing to her. Also, the man can thrust with whatever rhythm and pace they both like. This is because he is in a steady and balanced position. There is little or no intimacy in this position.

 

Chapter 7.  Best Kama Sutra Position

The Kama Sutra has different positions a couple can try during lovemaking. These range from being complex muscle movements to soft, sexy postures, which means there is something to accommodate every one of widely varying body types and physical capabilities.

The wide variety of poses listed in the Kama Sutra ensures that everyone is going to find something they are intrigued by and want to try. There are poses that include lying down, standing up, sitting,

man on top, woman on top, facing one another and the list goes on and on.

From a technical standpoint, sex is a strange and peculiar act with two people engaged in positions that seem to defy gravitational law, breathing heavily, and moving rapidly as bodily fluids are exchanged between them. This aside, sex can be a fatiguing and somewhat unpleasant act just as equally as it can be a pleasurable, satisfying, and beneficial experience. The more creative you get and the more you work to create a positive atmosphere in bed, the better you will feel and the more capable you will be at communicating positive feelings towards your partner.

The following is a listing of some of the sexual positions described in the Kama Sutra:

When both the male and female stretch their legs out over each other, this is called the “clasping position’,” and once congress has begun in this position and the woman presses her lover with her thighs, it is the “pressing position.”

 

The “rising position” is achieved when the woman raises both of her thighs straight up, and when only one of her legs remains stretched out, it is called the “half pressed position.”

The “erotic V” is a position that requires some flexibility. The woman wraps her arms around his neck while sitting on a table edge with her legs up and her bottom at the edge of the table. The man stands directly in front of her and bends his legs if necessary, to achieve the best entry point.

The “splitting bamboo” is when the woman places her leg over her lover’s shoulder, then stretches out her other leg and places this upon his shoulder and continues to do so alternately.

The “x rated” is a position where the male partner lays face up on the bed, and the female partner straddles her partner with her back to

his face. She lowers her hips for penetration and after penetration, she lowers her upper body between his legs and extends her own legs out straight. His and her legs create the letter x. She slides her body forward and backward, up and down.

The “thigh master” is a position in which the male lies down on his back, but instead of stretching his legs in the outward direction, he bends the legs at the knees. With her back facing the partner, the female straddles him. After that, she lowers onto his penis and places her knees on the bed. Her right knee is on the outside of his right thigh, and her left knee is placed between his legs on the bed.

The “star” is a position in which the female lies down on her back with one of the legs outstretched and the other leg bent at her knee. While the female is in this position, her outstretched leg is straddled by the male partner who gently nudges one of his knees under his

 

partner’s bottom. Then, he leans back, holding his body weight on his arms placed behind him. The male controls penetration, but the female is free to get pleasure from this.

The “doggy style” is a position in which the female is on her hands and knees with her legs spread wide to let her partner do the process of penetration from behind. The male partner kneels down and enters from behind while grabbing on to her hips or thighs. The female keeps shifting her weight forward and backward as required during the process to attain maximum pleasure. Both partners have the ability to control the rhythm, speed and depth of penetration during doggy style sex.

The “curled angel” is a position in which both the male and female lie on their sides while the male remains embraced to the back side of the female. The female draws her legs towards her chest which allows for easy penetration from behind. This position can also be used during pregnancy with the exception that the female’s legs will not rest that close to her chest. The male can either stretch his legs out straight or spoon them into his partner's legs depending upon the comfort level of both the partners.

The “hound” is a position in which the female gets on all fours, but her upper body weight is rested on the forearms instead of the hands. Her thighs are pressed together to make easy for the male partner to place one of his knees on the outside of each of her legs. He penetrates from the rear side and then bends his upper body over her bottom. He can also hold on to her body or breasts while controlling penetration and rhythm during the process.

 

The “visitor” is a position which the male and female stand facing each other with her arms wrapped around his back and his hands holding on to her hips and bottom. After using his penis to stimulate her, he enters from the front. She can lift her leg slightly to the outside of his thighs to ease penetration.

The “standing wheelbarrow” is a position in which the female starts the position with knees and hands on the floor in Doggy Style. Her partner comes from behind while kneeling slightly. He grasps her legs from the ankle lifting them a little off the ground as he penetrates from behind.

The “eagle” is a position in which the female lies on her back and lifts her legs while her feet are pointed towards the ceiling. She then spreads her legs as wide apart as comfortable while her partner kneels with knees spread for penetration. The male partner can hold on to her legs for support and to penetrate deeper.

The “side saddle” is a position in which the man lies back on the bed with his head propped up on a pillow and legs outstretched. The female partner crouches in a squatting position on his lap keeping her feet at his right thigh. After penetration, she leans back while placing her hands on the bed beside his left thigh. She uses her arms for balance and her legs to move her hips up and down while he keeps using his free hands for a little play.

The “slide” is a position in which the male partner lies flat on his back with his legs stretched out and thighs pressed together. The female partner lies on top of him with her legs stretched out over his. For enjoying a deep penetration, she can wrap her hands around his neck and slide her body up and down.

 

The “Hollywood” is a position in which the male and female face each other directly. While his back leans on the wall for support, he bends down and lifts her up to get into a standing sexual position. After the penetration is done, she presses her feet against the wall while he lies back onto the wall. With this, he supports her body weight by placing his hands under her bottom.

The “tominagi” is a position in which the female's head is propped up on a pillow while she lies on her back. She pulls her knees towards her chest while her partner approaches her on his knees and places her feet on his chest. After that, he grabs her knees for leverage while penetrating. During this, he can also lift her legs a little to change the angle of penetration and enhance the enjoyment.

The “slip” is a position in which the female lies on her back, head on a pillow but back flat on the bed. She bends her knees and pulls her legs up, spreading the legs enough to allow her partner to approach from the front. He slides in between her legs as she lifts her bottom allowing his knees to slide under.

The “kneel” is a position in which the male and female partner faces each other, both on their knees. His thighs are pressed together so she can straddle him for penetration. She can hold on to his neck for support, and he can wrap his arms around her waist to pull her close and support some of her weight.

The “fold” is a position in which the female lies on her back on the ground. While bending her knees slightly, she spreads her legs wide. The male sits down on the bed with his legs outstretched. He slowly slides his legs on either side of her body while pulling his whole body between her thighs. She needs to lift her feet a little off the ground

 

during the time he takes to position himself in the correct spot. As he bends forward, she lifts her bottom to allow penetration while her partner wraps his arms around her midsection.

The “spider” is a position in which the male sits on the bed with his legs stretched out. The female partner sits on his lap in a position which allows the penis to penetrate. One of her legs is placed on either side of his chest to make the female feel comfortable. She leans nearly all of her body weight back onto her hands, placed on either side of his legs.

The “glowing triangle” is a position in which the female lies down on her back with legs enough apart for her partner to nestle close to her body. He places his knees down on the bed, and his hands are on either side of his partner's head. The female partner then lifts her hips by pushing up with her feet.

The “seduction” is a gratifying position in which the female lies back on the bed with her feet tucked under her bottom. She places her hands above her head, and the male approaches the female from the top with his legs stretched out straight. He holds his body weight on his forearms, which are placed on the bed.

The “squat” is a position in which the female stands on a low table. She stands facing away from her partner, who's standing on the floor. He approaches her from behind but stops just short of penetration. She squats down to sit on his penis. In this position, the male partner must be able to support his partner's weight by placing his hands under her bottom.

The “Super 8” is a position in which the female lies back on the bed with legs spread just far enough to allow her partner for penetration.

 

Her feet remain on the bed during the Super 8. The male comes on top of his partner while holding his weight comfortably on his outstretched arms. For enjoying maximum pleasure, the female lifts her hips to meet the flow of the male partner.

The “frog” is a position in which the male sits on the corner of the bed while the female squats down in front with her back towards his face. He penetrates from behind while she controls the rhythm and depth of penetration. In order to reduce any kind of strain on the muscles of the female partner, the male places his hands on his partner’s hips.

The “shoulder stand” is a position in which the female lies on her back on the floor. While placing her arms on the floor, she presses up and lifts her legs towards the ceiling. On his knees, the male

partner grabs her bottom and enters from behind. In this position, the weight of the female partner should be centered on her upper shoulders. Due to this, it's called the shoulder stand position. In case the female requires help, the male can pull up on her bottom slightly to shift her weight to her shoulders.

The “seated ball” is a position in which the male sits on the bed. The female sits on his lap with her back towards his chest. Penetration occurs from this position. The male lifts his knees slightly, grabs on to his partner’s midsection and curls over as he pulls her in towards him. During this, the female can move a little forward and hold her partner’s feet or legs for getting the optimal support required for performing this step.

The “suspended scissors” is a position in which the female lies down on the bed. In fact, only the lower portion of her body remains on the

 

bed while her left arm is suspended in air. The male then enters through her legs while straddling them closest to the floor. He holds on to her other leg with one arm and her midsection with the other, creating the scissor position.

The “toad” is a position in which the female lies on the bed with her knees pulled in towards her chest and legs spread far apart. Her body looks like a toad in a sitting position. Her partner lies down on top of her and places his arms around her neck to pull her close towards him. He penetrates from the front while she places her feet on the back of his legs just below his bottom to help in a deeper level of enjoyment.

The “hinge” is a position in which the female in on all fours, but her weight is on her forearms rather than her hands. Her legs are spread apart side. Her partner approaches from behind on his knees. One knee slide between her legs and the other is outstretched. She is in control of movement with the Hinge. She moves forward and backward, shifting her weight to rock the position after penetration.

The “Stairmaster” is a position in which the female partner squats down slightly on one stair, leans forward placing her knees on the next stair up and finishes the kneel by placing her hands on the next stair. He comes from behind while placing his knees on the stairs where her feet are located. He grabs her hips, enters from behind and uses the hip hold as leverage.

The “galley” is a position in which the male is sitting on the bed. His legs are stretched out straight, and the female straddles his hips and her bottom faces his chest. In this position, she uses her upper arms to support her weight. Then, she slowly moves her bottom back and

 

down, allowing the penis to penetrate. She controls movement, rhythm and depth. His hands are completely free to massage and explore her body.

The “fan” is a position in which both the male and female stand upright while the female's back faces his front side. The female bends over a small table or chair while supporting her weight with the help of her forearms. The male approaches from behind, grabs onto her hips and does the penetration. In this position, all the movements are controlled by the male while giving good penetration depth, speed, and rhythm.

The “deckchair” the male sits with legs outstretched. He leans back slightly, holding his weight on his arms, slightly bending the elbows to create the shape of a deckchair. The female places a pillow at her partner’s feet and lays down face up. She lifts her legs onto his shoulders and slides her hips down for penetration. She controls movement and rhythm.

 

Chapter 8.  How to Be Free from Anxiety and Insecurity

What is performance anxiety? It is what happens when you become nervous or a little bit tensed about the sex you are about having with your partner. It is what happens when you are sure you would like to have sex with this partner, but you are bothered and unsure about something. Sometimes, you are worried how they would see you or how well you will perform with them. This doesn’t happen to man alone. A man might be anxious over the length of his penis, unsure about his erection strength, worried about what went wrong the last time he tried, et cetera. In the case of a woman, you may be bothered about your inability to get quick arousal, you think some of your organs are not responding as they should and they would probably not respond again, you are worried about your inability to reach orgasm, timid about your partner’s personality et cetera.

This problem can happen to any class of people. The old, young, rich, poor, et cetera. Subject to the cause, people who have had sex a lot of times earlier can develop sexual performance at some point. So, it should not come as an unbelievable surprise that you are battling one at the moment.

How would you know that you have got sexual anxiety issues? Some symptoms are.

A disturbed state of mind

Inability to produce vagina lubes. Weak erection (erectile dysfunction) Quick ejaculation

 

Inability to reach orgasm.

What are probable causes of sexual anxiety?

➢ Past experience: More often than not, people who experience sexual anxiety owe some of it to their past experience. You have probably had sex with someone with whom things went bad. She probably slammed with denigrating words about your dick size. It could also be that you have had sex with someone, and he complained all the while. You were unresponsive, dumb in bed, et cetera. On a different note, it may have aroused from your past health conditions, state of the mind, et cetera.

➢ Doubts about yourself: Quite possibly, your past experiences can result in your lack of esteem and self-confidence. But sometimes, it has nothing to do with your past. There was no gruesome past, or awkward experience. You were just timid about the personality of your partner or you were not sure you can perform as much as you’d like.

➢ Your self-depiction: If you are asking me, it has quite a lot to do with yourself. How you perceive yourself can tell a lot on your chances of a possible sexual anxiety. You don’t have the sort of chests that everyone is talking about. You think you are the short of fat. You don’t look sexy, you think you are ugly, et cetera. The more the negative attributes you give yourself, the more they heighten your sexual nervousness.

➢ Tales you have heard: It is noteworthy that things you have heard may have some impacts on your sexual anxiety. You have heard people talk about how ‘a standard erection’ should look, how orgasm should happen. How long a great guy should last, and so

 

forth. The moment you get overly bothered about them; you have a high tendency to be affected by sexual anxiety. You would keep thinking of ways to get better and meet the fallacious standards you heard them talk about.

How then can you get yourself out of this?

Find yourself: I consider it a number one priority that you find yourself, explore yourself before exploring anyone else or giving them the license to explore you. If things had got messy at some point, clambering over them is no use at all. Get up and find yourself. Understand what works for you and what doesn’t. If you think there are some averages; for instance, you should last ten minutes in bed, then work towards improving it. When you have problems you

cannot change however, tell yourself there is someone out there who wants you just the way you are. You are in fact, the perfect shape that person is in search of. Give your self-confidence a lot of morale. Stand in the mirror and tell yourself you are proud of it. Doing these things can help you to discover a spectacular version of yourself. It can even attract the best sexual partner (s) you can have.

Communicate: It is important to talk to your partner about it. Tell your partner your exact fears so there would be no surprises if it happens. Often, your partner would offer assuring words that can help you boost your self-esteem. If you have awkward demands that make you feel uncomfortable too, it is much better to communicate them to your partner, after all, they may agree.

Distract yourself: If you are worried because you have just had issues or fights with your partner, and you are getting into each other’s bed again after a long while. It makes perfect sense to

 

distract yourself. Actually, it can work in other cases. Stand up and dance for your partner, force them to dance with you, comment on things that are not directly connected to how much you would

perform in bed that day. It can help you overcome your anxiety. Many times, the simple cure to anxiety is to drop it. Deliberately doing that may be hard, but if you got carried away by other talks, you really may.

Talk to a pro: I cannot overestimate the importance of talking to a professional. Remember they are trained to see right through you in cases like these, and it might just be the best thing to know what they think of your circumstance and what can help you out.

There is no reason to be anxious in bed. It is where all the fun happens, find yourself the right remedy and enjoy it!

Sex and Monthly Periods:

One of the major talks that bother young people in relationship is monthly periods. While it is possible that many adults are not sure about the chemistry either, youths or teenagers are the most confused. We have heard tales and ethical hesitations about having sex during monthly period. Can we?

From the root, the monthly period is a woman’s monthly flow of blood from the uterus after her eggs were not hatched by a semen.

Usually, it spans for some days, anything between 3 to 7. There is no other string attached to the nature of your period. This means there

is nothing out of the ordinary about it. Go on and have sex during menstruation if you would love to.

Contrary to the old maxim you were scared of, having sex during menstruation might do you a lot better than you figure.

 

Some of the benefits are:

Faster periods: The first reason your menstruation lasts as long as it does is that your body releases your uterus content in bits. If you can open your uterus and wash it all off, you can have your monthly menstruation in just a few hours. But since that is impossible (now, at least), you had to go on for as long as nature wants. This could be slightly different if you had sex during menstruation. The contractions of your uterus and vagina during sex can help you open things up a bit more, pouring out the uterus content at a faster pace. The result

is a shorter menstruation period.

Ample lubrication: The blood flow can serve as lube for your sex. There is enough to keep the penis moving in and out smoothly, and you might a kind of delightful sex you hadn’t imagined possible.

Pain reliefs: Just as you expected, women feel some sort of pain during sex. It is migraine for some, it is stomach disorder in others. A recent research shows that having sex during menstruation can reduce if not completely remove the pains women feel during menstruation. How? There is ongoing research about that, but you can hold on to the fact that endorphins, the chemicals which make one feel good are released during sex. Many respondents also confirm to getting better when they had sex during menstruation.

Otherwise, there are speculations that your libido can be spurred by sex during menstruation too. If you feel the urge to have sex with your partner during mensuration, walk up to him and tell him about it. You should bear some precautions, however. They are:

Blood would naturally squeak when you have sex during menstruation. You should expect it, so you don’t get embarrassed

 

when it happens. You should also remind your partner about it. Then, prepare for it by having sex in the bathroom rather than the bed, or getting water nylons on the bed before sex. So, whatever mess spurts out remains on the nylon, it doesn’t get the bed splattered with blood.

STIs: You should understand that the blood released from the body carries an atom of every virus, infection or health conditions of your partner. There is a high chance of contracting them all, especially STIs. This is exactly why you should use a strong condom during sex, and do not forget there is some chance of pregnancy.

Don’t leave you tampon in your vagina before sex. You definitely don’t want a doctor to remove it for you in a surgery, a situation that could happen if penetration pushes it in by accident.

Sex and Pregnancy:

Another troubling talk among couples is grounded on sex and pregnancy. Should you have sex during pregnancy? Is it safe for the mother and the fetus?

Without mincing words, having sex is one of the safest activities for a pregnant woman. It is so safe that should a doctor or midwife instruct you not to have sex, you might want to stop her for a second and ask what type she is talking about. This is because sex is completely ideal for a pregnant woman. Not only is sex healthy, it is also favorable in a lot of ways. Yeah! You read that correctly. These are some of the proven ways that regular sex can help a pregnant woman

Calming hormones and regular blood flow: reaching an orgasm during sex can lead to release or various hormones in a woman’s

 

body. Happiness, Calmness and so on. This will not only affect a woman positively; the fetus can also feel the effect of these chemicals.

Increased sexual activeness: Naturally, getting pregnant will lead to some changes in a woman. This includes increase in breast size, belly and so forth. But the most notable increase which may

influence sexual performance is cardiovascular blood flow. Increased blood flow can help a woman to reach her orgasm easily. Even if she had had no orgasm ever. A woman may have wet nights too, ‘they are days she would sleep only to wake and realize she’s had an orgasm. You should not be surprised to learn that you won’t need lube in sex all through. Your body produces enough of it.

Penetration eases the woman’s opening: during childbirth, it is often easier for woman’s whose vagina hasn’t been closed all through the 9 months than one who has had no sex ever since.

However, there are a few precautions you must keep in mind to avoid complicated situations. Go through them in the next few lines:

➢ It is always advised that you use dental dam or condoms. This is to prevent STIs and potential infections from affecting you and your baby.

➢ Avoid anal sex as much as you can. In particular, ensure your partner clearly understands that he is not to blow air into your anus or vagina. This can cause a complex situation for you and your baby, one that may result in death.

➢ Do not have sex if you are not feeling up to it. Rather than increase in libido like some people, your body may have prompted a

 

different attitude to sex. You become suddenly uninterested and uneasy. Hardly a good mood for sex.

➢ You cannot try all positions in sex. Retain only the positions that place you on top, or at least prevent you from adding weights to your belly. You shouldn’t lie on your stomach too.

➢ Whenever you feel hurt, bleed or become uneasy, it is best to reach a doctor immediately. You must clearly understand that this has nothing to do with the sex you had though.

➢ Your doctor, midwife or any health specialist in care of you must be obeyed, to the letter.

Tantra is an old Hindu practice that believe in binding a strong love between lovers. They must be made to understand and appreciate each other such that having a sexual intercourse does not become a priority, only an interesting addition in their lives. If you ask them, Tantra posits that before having sex, you may spend up to a couple of hours getting to know each other, getting familiar, discussing secret and sharing the experiences of each of them. Tantra strongly recommends trying seduction foreplay before having sex. Caress each other, fondle each other and get to know each other better to sex. Talk to each other, rely and explain things to each other. This can keep you both in a true relationship beyond your sexual alliance.

How to Overcome Insecurities in the Bedroom

There are many reasons why a person may feel insecure in the bedroom. This can be because of their body image, their performance, or their ability to please their partner. Below are some ways to deal with these insecurities.

 

Communication is the key to a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life. Knowing what you and your partner like and dislike allow you to focus on the things you enjoy and leave the things you don’t behind. Knowing this will help to greatly reduce your anxiety surrounding performance or being able to please tour partner adequately. With so many options for ways to pleasure each other, you don’t want to waste time on the things that don’t make you scream out in pleasure, and communication is the way!

During sex is an important time to check in with your partner to see how they are feeling, what they are liking, and what they want more of. While you are having sex, it is easiest to communicate using dirty talk so that you don’t ruin the mood by coming off too serious or too concerned. In order to properly communicate while also playing into the mood of the moment, you can do so in a sexy way, using sexy language. You should tell each other what you like by saying, “oh yes, I like that” or “I like when you touch me like that” This lets the person know to do more of the same because this is what will get you to orgasm. By being aware of these things and being able to talk about them in the moment, it will help with your confidence in the bedroom and reduce your insecurities.

Cardiovascular exercise has been shown to increase blood flow, which in turn increases your positive feelings during sex as well as the sensations your partner will feel on his penis when he slides it into your engorged vagina. Improving your aerobic capacity makes it so that blood will have an easier time flowing to the genitals, as your body becomes more efficient at dispersing it. This means positive things for your orgasm as well as your partner’s! In terms of sex drive, doing weight training has been shown to increase your sex

 

drive, which is another factor that will positively affect your ability to orgasm. Another one of the countless benefits of exercise on your sex life is that it will make you feel more confident and positive about your body. This, in turn, will make you feel more confident in the bedroom, which will improve your mood, reduce your stress and anxiety, and make it so that you are more likely to reach orgasm.

How to Overcome Anxiety in the Bedroom

It is very common for people to have anxiety in the bedroom, especially around things like orgasm and performance. There are some ways that you can reduce your orgasm and performance anxiety in the bedroom.

Your choice of environment can make a big difference when it comes to whether or not you can reach orgasm. If you tend to be someone who has trouble reaching orgasm for whatever reason, these details of the environment, the location, and the time will be important for your experience. They will determine whether or not you will be able to get concentrated enough to orgasm. We will discuss several factors that contribute to whether or not your environment is conducive to your pleasure and your orgasm. The reason why the environment, time and location are of such importance is that being comfortable with all of these factors will allow you to focus on yourself, your pleasure and your orgasm without distraction.

The ambiance, the mood, and the lighting must be selected so that they are simple enough to allow for sex to be the focus while being special enough to evoke a sense of sexy mystery. The environment can be based on your personal preference, but the main factor to keep in mind is that it is free of distractions and comfortable enough

 

for you to feel relaxed. This leads us to the choice of location. The location choice is important for getting you in the mood and allowing you to stay in the mood. There are some things to keep in mind when selecting a location. You will want to select a location that allows both of you to relax, move around freely, and that will be free of concerns such as cleanliness, temperature, and physical comfortability.

 

Chapter 9.  Erotic Massages and Sexual Fantasies

The Kama Sutra talks about massages and the best places to give massages. Some massages will lead to sex and some will not. A massage can also be a relaxing gesture of love for your partner, who is spending time with you at the end of the day. If you have massage oil, this will be a great addition, but if not, that’s okay too. Use something like lotion to lubricate your hands and avoid skin to skin friction. Warm your hands before you start so that it makes them feel nice and doesn’t send a chill down their spine when you first make contact.

When they are lying in a comfortable position, and you have lubricated your hands, begin to massage them gently. The touch of a massage gives a person a sense of being cared for, and it is even better from the person they love. A massage is a great way to show your partner that you care about making them feel good. After you have massaged their upper body or their feet, begin kissing their body where you just massaged it and then progress to kissing them on the lips. You can gradually move into touching each other’s genitals or massaging them there. This is when it becomes an erotic massage. you can give a woman or a man to lead them to immense pleasure and enjoy a very sensual experience with them. An erotic massage is a way to show love to a partner, a way to be sexually intimate together and a way to make a person feel great without having a penis and vagina meet. Knowing these techniques is great for anyone who is looking to try new ways of pleasuring your partner in the bedroom.

 

Tips to Give an Erotic Massage to Him

A sort of erotic massage that you can try giving to a male partner is the prostate massage. As you know now, the prostate is a small gland located inside a man’s body between the base of his penis and his anus. It is accessed through the anus. This type of massage is similar to anal play, but it is not the same, as the goals are different and so is the technique. The reason why it is better to give a man an erotic message here instead of on his penis is that he will be able to last much longer without reaching orgasm.

Performing this type of massage requires lots of lube for maximum comfortability. Once your fingers are well-lubricated, you can slide a finger or two inside of the man’s anus very slowly. You will have to go slow so as not to shock the anus into closing tightly. You will need to work your way in gradually. Once in, you will be able to find the prostate by feeling around on the upper (front) wall of the rectum for a small lump that is rough in texture a few inches deep. Once you have found it, you can begin to gently massage it. You can move

your fingers in circles and apply light pressure to it. This massage has the potential to feel quite pleasurable for the man. Communicate while the massage is occurring in order to give him the most pleasure possible.

You can perform this type of massage in a number of different positions. The man could by lying down while you straddle his legs, he could be on his hands and knees while you sit or kneel behind him, he could lie across your lap while you sit on a bed, or you could do any position that is comfortable for you.

 

This massage does not need to lead to orgasm; at least that is not the goal. If it happens, that is fine; however, the aim of this massage is just to provide a relaxing and pleasurable experience for him.

Tips to Give an Erotic Massage to Her

Next is the erotic massage for a woman. This massage involves the entire vaginal area, which is called the vulva. A Yoni Massage is a vaginal massage that is intended to open up the woman to her sexuality, her pleasure, and her sexual desires. As a partner, you can perform this type of massage for your woman to unlock her repressed sexual energy and help her to get in touch with it.

This can be done in a variety of ways, but the position we are going to discuss is a hot water Yoni Massage. Begin by setting the ambiance, either in the bathroom with a bathtub, or around your jacuzzi. Set up some candles, some flowers, or anything that will make the surroundings relaxing and calm. Begin by having her breathe deeply and focus on her body and its sensations. You can get into the water with her for added intimacy. Begin by slowly and gently massaging around her entire vulva and her clitoral area. The key to this type of massage is to do everything very slowly. Begin to massage her clitoris slowly and not with the intention of making her come. When ready, and with lots of waterproof lube, slide one finger inside of her vagina and gently begin massaging the upper wall.

Here is where her G-spot is located. Encourage her to express and release any sounds she naturally makes. Move your finger in a circular motion slowly and with your other hand, massage her pelvic area and clitoris. This connects the inner with the outer. Continue to do this and let the experience unfold with no end goal in mind. If she reaches orgasm, she can do so, but if she doesn’t, she can just

 

enjoy the pleasures that she is getting from your massage. This massage is intended to reconnect a woman with her pleasure and allow her to focus on herself and her body.

After this massage, she will feel more in touch with her body, and if penetrative sex ensues, both of you will feel even more pleasure and intensity of orgasms because of how engorged and activated her vagina and clitoris will be.

A sexual fantasy is something that a person imagines or dreams of doing or taking part in, in a sexual context. This fantasy is something that, when imagined, leads the person to become sexually aroused. A sexual fantasy will commonly involve something that you would not regularly have the chance to do. For example, it could be something like having sex with a jail guard as their inmate. In this case, this is not something that you would likely do, but you fantasize about doing it as it arouses you.

Common Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies often come in the form of role play. Like the example above, a sexual fantasy often needs to be acted out, such as one person playing the role of the jail guard and the other playing the part of the inmate. This is a common sexual fantasy, and this brings us to the first category of sexual fantasies.

Power Dynamic Fantasies

Many fantasies and role plays involve some type of power dynamic, where one person has control over the other or is in an authoritative role, while their partner is submissive to them.

Kink

 

Another common type of sexual fantasy involves kink. This can include things like restricted movement from being tied up, being spanked or spanking their partner, or having sex wearing specific things like leather or fur.

Fetishes

The final category that we will look at involves fetishes. This can be something like fantasizing about having someone suck on your toes, fantasizing about peeing on someone or having them pee on you, wishing to have sex in a large group, or wanting to have sex with a mask on.

As I’m sure you can see, the different categories of sexual fantasies involve a lot of overlap, which. Is why they are most often referred to as the general umbrella of “sexual fantasies?”

Best Sexual Fantasies for Beginners Who Want to Try New Things

Now that you understand sexual fantasies, I am going to share some common sexual fantasies that are great for beginners who are looking to spice up their sex life a little bit.

The Photo Shoot

The first example of a sexual fantasy comes in the form of a role play.  This role play is The Photo Shoot role play. In this role play, one person will play the model, and one person will play the photographer. You can begin acting out how a regular photoshoot would go, with one person posing for photos clothed in front of the camera. The photographer can tell the model what poses they want to see. As it progresses, the photographer can tell the model to take off some items of clothing, or the model can do this on their own. As they take more layers of clothing off, the photographer can ask them

 

to do more and more sensual positions for the camera. Eventually, the photographer can go in to help them get undressed, or when they are fully naked, the photographer can step in to help the model move their body into poses they want to see. With the touch barrier broken, they can then continue to touch each other. The model can position themselves in positions with their legs spread, their but out their breasts towards the camera, anything. This will eventually progress to the photographer touching the model, and sex ensues.

Public Sex

Some sexual fantasies involve having sex in new or nerve-wracking locations. One example of this is public sex. This can involve having sex in a movie theatre, in an alleyway, in a boardroom of the office, and so on. Maybe you fantasize about this while having sex at home in your bedroom, or maybe you take it to the actual place that you fantasize about and try it for real!

Handcuffs/Tying Up

Handcuffs are a sexy and simple introduction to the world of restraint and domination that you have probably heard of before. This is a great place to start because the person being restricted can still express their desires and wishes for pleasure, but the other person

is ultimately in charge of what they choose to agree to and what they do not. Because both partners can still see and talk to each other, they can communicate throughout, telling the other person how to touch them and what they like. The fact that one partner is in control will be the thing that makes both of you go wild with desire.

 

Chapter 10.  Sex During the Menstrual Cycle

For some there is nothing strange in having sex during the menstrual cycle, others prefer to avoid ... in the middle, many "undecideds" or doubtful couples, between die-hard false myths, fears and sensibilities to understand and respect. When it comes to sexuality, there are many topics still taboo, but is the cycle really an invincible enemy of intimacy? Let's try to look at the issue from different points of view, to clarify and give you the tools you need to consciously decide what to do about sex and menstruation.

Let's start from the false beliefs still in circulation, first of all the (dangerous) one by which having sex with the cycle you cannot get pregnant. It is false, because on no day of the month can female fertility be considered zero: ovulation can occur earlier or later than the central days of the cycle, and in some months, there may even be a double ovulation so fertile days are also more. And then, it must be considered that the spermatozoa emitted by the man during sexual intercourse can live in the woman's body for a time that varies from 3 to 5 days, during which ovulation could occur and therefore the meeting between sperm and egg mature that gives rise to conception.

Another misconception is that the woman who has sex during the cycle cannot enjoy it: just as there are no physical impediments to the relationship itself, there are none even to reaching orgasm. On the contrary, hormonal "upheavals" (which for some women increase desire) and the lubricating effect of the flow could also facilitate it.

 

From a purely physiological point of view, you can safely have sex with the cycle: it does not hurt and does not affect the rhythm of the menstrual cycle in any way nor the internal balance of the female body. At the most it could accelerate its end, simply because the contractions caused by the relationship cause the body to push the blood out faster, and therefore the flow could end earlier than expected.

Sex with the cycle for her

Why, for some women, are those days of the cycle considered "off limits" for intimacy? Sometimes it simply depends on the physiological malaise that menstruation brings, while in other cases the resistances are more rooted in the emotional or psychological sphere. These may be related to the fact that while we are used to protecting ourselves using sanitary napkins, having sex with the cycle instead means letting the menstrual blood flow freely, which could be a problem especially for women who claim to feel "dirty" when they have menstruation.

If you feel "unpleasant" because you are afraid of giving off a different smell than usual, you feel swollen, your face is filled with pimples and the hair is unmanageable, not to mention irritability, it is right to respect the messages of the body and avoid forcing. But it is also worth asking if it is not the partner, perhaps a little too critical on certain aspects, to amplify these feelings of inadequacy, and find the right times and ways to talk about it together. Making love (also) with the cycle, in fact, can represent an important element in building the intimacy of a couple.

 

When instead you stop menstrual pain, consider that the uterine contractions that occur during orgasm cause the release of endorphins, neurotransmitters with high analgesic power. In short, having sex during the cycle could also be a pleasant natural pain reliever.

Sex with the cycle for him

It does not always depend on women, sometimes it is men who avoid intimacy when she is in those days of the cycle. Most often it depends on the repulsion for menstrual blood, with which they prefer not to come into contact. In their imagery, then, blood and sperm evoke totally different situations that should not be mixed with each other. They are absolutely normal sensations, which should not be experienced as a rejection of the partner but only of the specific situation. You can still try to overcome by reflecting on the fact that these are natural secretions that are part of the female body, not too dissimilar from the blood flowing in the veins, and that immediately afterwards it is sufficient to wash with water and soap to return clean as before.

Practical tips for sex during the cycle

If both partners are likely to experience sex with the cycle, there are a few small tricks to keep in mind to make the situation even easier and more comfortable.

First, choose the place where you feel most comfortable and spread towels or towels, preferably dark and above all thick enough not to allow stains to pass on sheets etc. If that is not enough, do not panic: as long as the blood stains are fresh, they are eliminated simply by soaking the fabric in cold water; if you notice it after a few hours,

 

instead, use hydrogen peroxide and then a little soap. Keep a good supply of paper tissues on hand, with which you can dab yourself immediately (but also if you feel the need): they will avoid stains and embarrassments.

To feel more comfortable, pay particular attention to intimate hygiene. You can avoid or limit the problem of bad smell, which is due to the oxidation of menstrual blood in contact with the air, often changing the absorbent and washing yourself every time you do it. But be careful not to overdo it with too aggressive detergents or with products that contain fragrances that may not be very respectful of the intimate environment: use only specific detergents, with neutral or slightly acidic pH (therefore between 3.5 and 5.5). If, on the other hand, you are using an internal absorbent, remember to remove it before starting the relationship so as not to risk it being pushed too far (and maybe then forgotten ...).

With regards to sexually transmitted diseases: we have already clarified that menstruation does not act as a contraceptive and you can get pregnant even during the cycle, but we add that you must not let your guard down on this front either. On the contrary, menstrual blood is a vehicle of bacteria as much as other vaginal secretions, so the possibility of contracting any venereal diseases remains high and you must always protect yourself, so the use of condoms is highly recommended.

At this point, it is appropriate to say that in love there are no rules! Although there are no physical impediments to sex with the cycle, feelings and inclinations remain that are completely intimate and personal. Dialogue within the couple is also fundamental in this area, to avoid the creation of misunderstandings and negative feelings that

 

can ruin the understanding. If on the one hand there is the woman who could feel rejected, or in any case not fully accepted by the partner, on the other there is the man who risks feeling "excluded" and not able to make her feel at ease. it’s her. Making love in the days of the cycle does not necessarily have to become a habit or the rule of all the months, but breaking these taboos together, or at least trying, could lead the couple to reach a new and more intense degree of intimacy.

 

Chapter 11.  How Exciting It Is to Talk Dirty

Aside from enjoying the pleasures of sex, what other things do you stand to gain from dirty talk? There are quite a lot of benefits that come with talking dirty that may not be obvious to those who do not practice it.

First of all, understand that a sexual relationship between two consenting adults has its ups and downs. For example, marriage is meant to be the happy union of two adults who love and support each other. However, many marriages are either not as the individuals expected them to be or are on the verge of a divorce.

One of the major reasons for the unhappiness and misunderstandings in marriages is the communication gap between couples. And nothing widens the communication gap in marriages more than a lack of physical and emotional intimacy. And often those intimacies are connected as the quality of emotional intimacy can quickly deteriorate if physical intimacy is always a boring routine.

The closer couples get physically, the easier they can communicate their concerns, fears, worries, doubts, and hopes to each other. Sex is one of the natural ways physical intimacy can be greatly improved between couples. If you have sex great, exciting, and a fun activity you and your partner look forward to you both automatically improving your physical and emotional closeness. You also improve the quality of your communication. If you can freely tell your partner how you want to be pleasured and what you want to do to them sexually, it will be a lot easier to share with them whatever other concerns you have in life and in the relationship.

 

Now that you get the general idea of it, let’s go into a bit more detail about all the reasons you should consider including dirty talk into your sexual relationship.

1. It allows you to communicate what you want: Saying what you want during sex is vital for your enjoyment. Telling your partner how much you enjoy what they are doing when they are doing it will encourage them to do it more. “I love it when you do that,” tells your partner to keep doing whatever it is they are doing. Sitting down to discuss or have a conversation about what your sexual preferences are can take away the fun and spontaneity from sex. But dirty talk can communicate the same preferences without making as big of an issue out of it as it would be in a normal conversation.

2. It helps your partner to know what’s on your mind: Not many people can read minds. Your partner may be giving their all but doing all the wrong things and still thinking they are giving you pleasure. If you don’t speak up, they probably won’t know. Sex, for many people, is a riddle that they can’t solve. What does he mean by that facial expression? Is that moaning a good sign or a bad one? Does she want me to continue doing that or what? Instead of enjoying the act, many people spend time guessing what the other person wants because they are not saying what’s on their mind. You can start with things like, “Come up a bit. No, to the left. Apply a bit more

pressure.” These may not be dirty talks but it’s a start. If you can break the silence and tell each other what you’ll prefer and exactly how you want it, saying how good it makes you feel can easily follow. For example, “No, to the left. That’s the spot! It feels so good when you stroke it like that.”

 

3. It strengthens your connection: Vocalizing your sexual fantasies and desires requires a lot of trust in the other person. Sharing something that can be potentially embarrassing is letting your partner know that you are not afraid to be vulnerable with them. It shows them that you trust them enough to share your intimate thoughts with them. Doing this can make your connection to your partner stronger.

4. Its great foreplay: Foreplay is essential for arousal especially in women. It takes a comparatively long time for women to get sexually turned on than it does for men. As a result, the more varied you can make foreplay, the sexier a woman feels, and the wilder the sex. Dirty talk is another level of foreplay that can turn women (and men) on even before making any physical contact.

5. it’s foreplay for anywhere and anytime: You can talk dirty all day even when you are miles apart. Texts, phone calls, and photos can be used to keep the mind stimulated and ready for physical sex throughout the day. A short text such as “Can’t wait to get a feel of your sexy body,” can keep your partner in the mood throughout the day.

6. It reignites your passion: If you have been in a relationship with someone for a while, it is unrealistic to think that the level of lust you once had for them will continue to remain unwaveringly strong throughout your relationship. Love and lust in a sexual relationship can last forever but not without some work. Those feelings can decline with time, but you can reignite them with dirty talk. So, if it feels like your sex life has become one dreary, predictable script, spice it up with some dirty talks.

 

7. It keeps your juices flowing: Yes, both your sexual juices and creative juices flow better with dirty talk. Instead of being stuck in your sexual imaginations, you can vocalize the pictures in your head.

The more you describe what you want to do, the better your creativity gets. Who knows, you may even act out those fantasies.

8. It improves your self-confidence: Attempting something as challenging as dirty talk can help to boost your self-confidence. And your confidence will not just be limited to the bedroom, but it will also rub off on other aspects of your life. Try to remember the first time you fell deeply in love with someone new. Your whole body felt lighter, there was an invisible spring that carried you effortlessly when you walked, and you approached almost all your tasks as if they were all easy. You were not afraid to face anything because of how you felt inwardly. That is the power of self-confidence. And you can get a good dose of it by overcoming your shyness in the bedroom.

9. Lessens performance pressure: Leaving your partner clueless during sex can lead to the annoying and self-conscious question, “Am I doing it right?” Your partner may retort in their head, “Just shut up and get this over with!” There is nothing wrong if your partner checks in to know if you are comfortable with something they are doing. But when it becomes too frequent, it is usually an indication of performance pressure. It shows that your partner doesn’t know whether they are doing what you want or not. It also shows that they are trying to please you instead of enjoying themselves while pleasuring you. But when both of you learn to vocalize your desires and are willing to understand each other’s sexual preferences, it

 

takes away the pressure of performance and makes you both relax into the moment.

10. It creates better sex and new experiences: Of course, with all the benefits listed above, it is only logical that talking dirty leads to better sex. Since there are hardly any secrets between the couple (at least regarding sex), it is easier to let go and enjoy better sex. But besides the great intercourse, it can also lead to trying out new things such as toys, new sex positions, role-playing, and fun things you never imagined you were capable of. Of course, not everyone wants to switch into kinky sex, but regardless of how modest you are, talking dirty gives you more room to vary your sexual experiences to make them wilder and more mind-blowing.

Hush! Turn off the lights, go under the sheets, hump for a few minutes, muffle the moans, and climax (mostly for the man). That is the experience of sex for many people. Worst still, this experience is repeated over and over again for the better part of their adult lives.

So, when they think of sex, they imagine an unexciting activity that is mostly one-sided. They have sex out of necessity instead of from the sheer pleasure of exploring their sensuality and that of their partner.

But all this can change by tweaking one aspect of sex: talking dirty! The idea of introducing dirty talk into sex encounters can be difficult for people who approach sex as a solemn or formal activity. The reason for this is obvious: Their upbringing or set of beliefs about sex does not permit them to think it is okay to engage in dirty talking.

However, no matter how restrictive an individual’s set of beliefs are, if they want to engage in pleasurable sex, it is necessary to let their guard down. Dirty talk is one way to let loose and enjoy all the pleasures that you can get from sex and sexual activities.

 

To some extent, many people engage in what I like to call, “default one-line” dirty talk. And that is announcing when they are about to climax, “I’m coming!” It’s okay if that is your go-to line for now. But I’d like you to recall the brief moments that you say those words and the reaction of your partner. If your partner is like most people, they will hold you tight, tense their muscles, or move their body in ways that suggest they are a bit more sexually excited than before. Now, imagine what their reactions would be if you go beyond the default on-line dirty talk. And better still, picture what height of pleasure both of you can experience if you both talk dirty before, during, and after sex.

By the end of this book, you will have learned everything you need to know about increasing sexual enjoyment. You will have learned what it takes to let out the words that ring in your head during sex.

Why People Like It

Silent sex is boring! There is hardly any sexual activity without words and images popping into the mind. Vocalizing what goes on in the mind creates more excitement than keeping mute. Without words, it is like being physically present with your partner but mentally absent.

Why both men and women like dirty talk has a lot to do with how the human brain functions. Everyone who engages in sex likes to be pleasured in a way that deeply satisfies their bodily needs. Being able to say exactly how that need should be satisfied and hearing how your partner wants theirs to be met can turn both of you on.

Besides, there is a part of us that silently seeks some teeny-tiny bit of “sexual taboo” so to speak. Irrespective of our decent outward behavior, it is human nature to crave something that is considered

 

inappropriate. I am not suggesting that you act in ways that are against your personal values. I am only stating the obvious: Humans have so-called “dark” sides that need attention once in a while.

Society tends to classify wild sex as dark, evil, and immoral, yet we inherently seek that experience even if our upbringing and environment go against it.

Generally, a woman prefers a man who can at least tell her how desirous her body is during intercourse than a man who talks only in his head. She prefers to hear words that describe how great her actions make the man feel to hearing only heavy breaths and grunts that signify ejaculation.

Some people, mostly women, become so self-conscious that they find it difficult to remain mentally present during sex. They are worried about their nakedness or the shape of their body parts.

Talking dirty keeps their attention rooted in the moment. When the man says, “I love kissing your hard nipples,” for example, it automatically draws the woman’s attention to her nipples and makes her feel the sensation in that part of her body.

On the other hand, a man is generally turned on by a confident woman. A woman who can boldly say what she’s going to do to him, or who wants to know how he prefers to be treated sexually, is confident. When a woman begs during sex, it boosts the man’s ego and can make him last longer, perform more passionately, and do what she wants and desires.

Curse words and profanity may be viewed as offensive and an uncultured way of communication. But inside the bedroom and in the

 

context of sexual relations, it could be a turn on depending on what the individuals prefer.

The idea that dirty talk is for perverts is absolutely incorrect. There is nothing wrong with wanting a heightened sexual experience or vocalizing what’s on your mind. Men love to hear women please and tease them verbally, and women love to hear men appreciate their bodies and sexuality. These are all perfectly healthy things to desire and practice. Talking dirty is all about sex – and there’s nothing wrong with sex between two consenting adults. In any case, sex is supposed to be erotic, dirty, and even filthy, but most importantly, sex is meant to be fun. There is no reason that sex talks should be limited to only “appropriate” and “morally correct” words or phrases.

Talking dirty is about filling in the blanks by two people engaged in sex or foreplay. For example, one person says, “I like it when you (….)” and the other person says, “I love your (….)” When two people do the dirty talking, it gets crazier with each exchange and their sex experience intensifies accordingly.

The bottom line is this: If the only sounds you can hear during sex are the creak of the bed, the sound of your bodies rubbing against each other, and deep breaths, you are leaving out a vital piece of the fun. You should be hearing words of appreciation, commands, pleas, and so on, coupled with those moans and sighs of deep satisfaction.

 

Chapter 12.  The Best Things to Say to Your Partner

There are on the whole various types of things that you can say to your partner, a few more manageable than others, alluded to as softcore and no-nonsense dirty talk. Softcore dirty talk is not so much indecent, but rather broader, while no-nonsense is progressively express. The following are 131 unique things that can be said to your accomplice previously, during, or on the other hand, after sex. They are in no specific request. When to state the state

relies upon how the expression ought to be stated, and it is essential to tailor the expression to the current circumstance (like utilizing past tense sometime later, future tense previously, and current state during; recall, terrible language structure can turn a sexy expression into something unbalanced, and this is tied in with dodging any ponderousness while as yet having a generally excellent time).

The sort of dirty talk you use with your darling will rely upon the individual, what they like, and how agreeable you are expressing sure words or expressions, however just talking isn't everything, groans, coos, cries, and wheezes play a part too. The fact of the matter is to give them that you are into them, with each word, articulation, sound, and development. (In case you're not 100% into it, the odds are that you shouldn't be there in any case.) If you are too anxious about saying something for all to hear straight away, work on saying it to yourself when nobody else is around until you are never again made awkward by it, or uncertain of doing so.

Tweaking Your Bedroom Talk

 

You've assembled closeness outside the room, and you've made your contemplations on dirty talk clear by presently. You've gotten innovative with love notes, and you've made some sexy calls. You've both been cleared away by the prodding and insinuation now and again, and now you are both strolling with a little skip in your progression. You've even taken a stab at perusing erotica to him and prevailing in getting you both turned on with the words. In any case, those were another person's words. Presently it's an ideal opportunity to begin making your own. Don't have the foggiest idea of where to start? You're not the only one. In any case, by this point, you ought to have a truly smart thought of what works for your accomplice. Better, however, you have a smart thought of what works for you. You realize what turns you on, and you realize what works for both of you. Remember that as you choose what you're going to state to your accomplice to break that dirty talk ice.

Start with portrayals of his body.

Keep in mind that it doesn't need to be no-nonsense! Here are a couple of recommendations on where to start: Reveal to him how solid he is. Disclose to him the amount it turns you on when you take a gander at his solid arms, or his trim abdomen, or his long, sexy legs. Does he have a bristly chest? Tell him the amount you like to tangle your fingers in it. Does he have long hair? Let him know the amount you love to watch it fall around his face when he has intercourse with you.

Does he have expansive shoulders? Portray how it feels to hold onto them while he's moving above you, how he makes you have a sense of security and secure, or how his size causes you to feel compliant.

 

Inform him concerning looking down at him when you're on top, and the amount you love to see the joy in his eyes.

You ought to have no issue finding those things you love about your lover's body. There's an explanation you love to hit the hay with him, and a reason you need to make your sex life much more sizzling - you have a serious fellow! So, reveal to him that, and everything else that comes to mind about how great he is.

Get somewhat more unequivocal as things heat up. Presently is the point at which you can point out progressively personal things about him, also, use them to fuel your dirty talk. Here are a couple of increasingly unequivocal proposals:

Reveal to him the amount you love to feel him inside you. Groan about how thick he is, or to what extent, or how he fits you just right. Disclose to him the amount you love it when he does something amazing with his fingers – between your legs, over your areolas, anyplace on your body.

Disclose to him how hard your areolas are. Inquire as to whether he can feel how wet you are. Advise him that he's the one you've been fantasizing pretty much all day. Request that he converse with you, as well. What does he like to feel when he's sleeping with you? What is his top pick position?

What does he like to see you do? What is his definitive dream? What was his preferred minute out of all the occasions you have had intercourse?

What made it so exceptional? Brief him a piece if he's modest, and he will begin to respond with his contemplations. On the off chance that he's truly into talking dirty with you at this point, this is when

 

things could begin to get more in-your-face. What fun! Here are a couple of inquiries to get you begun. Murmur them into his ear at a suitable time and let nature follow all the way through:

Do you like it when I jump on top? Do you ever consider being tied up? Would you rather do it with the lights on or off? Disclose to me why you prefer it as such. What's the one thing we've never attempted that you truly need to do? What do you need me to do? What's your preferred activity for me? When do you come more earnestly? At the point when you're standing up, or sitting up, or lying down? Do you like it when I do this?

What do you need me to wear this evening? Another definite fire approach to begin the dirty talk is to portray what he's doing to you. On the off chance that he slips his hand between your legs, that is a decent time to murmur the amount you like it. "I love it when you touch me there" is acceptable; however, "I love it when you touch my pussy" may be better. Measure his responses to your words and change them appropriately.

If "pussy" turns him on, and you're not offended by the word, take a stab at utilizing "cunt." If that gets him going, use it once more, just with more accentuation. This is the ideal opportunity to utilize your new jargon! Include more. Maybe he loves to hear "cunt," and possibly you like it, as well. So, take a stab at something to portray it more. "Tight cunt" or "wet cunt" or "tricky cunt" may be beneficial things to attempt. At that point, put it into a sentence. "I love it when you contact my hot, wet cunt."

Depict what you're doing to him, as well. Keep in mind, taking pictures is what dirty talk does best, and you need him to see the

 

dream before you make it a reality. "I'm going to taste you" is a decent method to let him realize you will perform oral. "I will go down on you" is better. "I'm going to suck your rooster" is shockingly better than that.

Is it true that he is hard? Is it true that he is throbbing? "I'm going to suck your hard, throbbing rooster" is the dull, fair truth. At that point, do it! The dream is as of now in his head, and feeling you do what you said you would be going to be an enormous turn-on. Other than that, the next time you speak profanely to him, he will recall that you did what you said you would - and that will fuel his dreams whenever you're talking to him with that mischievous mouth of yours.

The greater part of all, be certain. You, as of now, realize he loves it when you do certain things. Possibly he loves the way you go down on him. You don't need to inquire as to whether he enjoys it – you as of now realize he does. "You like how I suck your dick don't you?" can be a provoking test. "Better believe it, I know you like that." What different things may you say to turn him on much more?

How about Phone Sex

In the event that you have ever been in a circumstance where your lover was a thousand miles from you - or even just down the road - and you were as well horny to think straight, you can get a handle on the intrigue of telephone sex. Engaging in sexual relations on the telephone is the first type of dirty talk!

Talking dirty on the telephone is a fabulous method to have some good times with your better half on the telephone or even to move into full-scale telephone sex with your lover. You may feel somewhat senseless or threatened at the idea of talking dirty on the telephone,

 

yet once you alter your outlook and let free, you'll be enroute to making your telephone accomplice powerless with joy. In the event that you need to realize how to do it, follow these means.

Preparing to Talk Dirty

Pick the correct time to speak profanely. On the off chance that you need to have a perfect dirty talk telephone date, at that point, you need to ensure that both you and your accomplice are separated from everyone else and prepared to begin having a sexy discussion. Your dirty talk won't go far in case you're prepared in bed while your accomplice is eating with his mother. Plan your dirty talk date ahead of time so both of you are free and alone at home or in your rooms.

Look and feel sexy. Clean up and put on some sexy unmentionables and a hot outfit. Regardless of whether your accomplice won't have the option to perceive what you're wearing; you'll be all the more effectively turned on if you look prepared for some activity. Would you engage in sexual relations with your dirty clothes all over your room and void takeout holders all over your work area? Ideally not.

You shouldn't speak profanely until you're in a sentimental environment, either. Tidy up your space, diminish the lights and light a few candles, and lie in your clean, inviting bed. Do whatever you would do to plan to get it on for real.

Don't overthink it. Before you get the telephone or begin getting turned on, don't gaze at yourself in the mirror or dissect each and everything you'll state to your lover. Regardless of whether you're a dirty talk virgin, the procedure will feel progressively normal on the

off chance that you sit back, unwind, and prepare for what's to come. Begin getting turned on. This doesn't mean you should contact

 

yourself - except if you need to - yet it means that you should begin getting in a sexy mental space. Close your eyes and think about your most unlawful sexual dream or recollect the last time it got extremely hot and substantial among you and your lover.

If it causes, you can daintily stroke your body to get in the state of mind. In any case, you should spare the majority of that for your telephone discussion.

Begin Talking Dirty

Locate your "dirty talk" voice. It should, in any case, sound like you - however, like a sexier, more slow-talking adaptation of you. Don't utilize a similar voice you would use to ask your nectar how his day went. Rather, talk a piece lower and all the more gradually - you can even speak with a softer tone to a close murmur on the off chance that you need to. Ensure it still seems like you to a degree. Offer your lover a couple of praises. You don't need to state anything X- appraised immediately. Start with a couple of fundamental commendations. Tell your uncommon somebody the amount you've

missed him, and how astonishing his body is. You can even help him to remember the last time you had intercourse and how hot it was.

Simply begin saying decent things to your lover to get into the mood. Here are a few things you can say: "I've been pondering your conditioned arms throughout the day."

"I miss you and your body so much; wishes I can have you every day."

"I love hearing your voice."

 

Discussion about what you're wearing. Mention to your lover what you're wearing and depict it in extraordinary detail. Discussion about how your body glances in your garments and notice any parts that is uncovered. Ask your lover what the person is wearing and close your eyes and envision that person in those garments. Here are a few approaches to depicting what you're wearing:

For ladies:

"I'm wearing your preferred bra." "I'm not wearing any clothing."

"My dress is extremely tight around my chest." For men:

"My shirt is tight around my biceps."

"I'm wearing that belt you love to take off."

"I'm wearing a catch out shirt. It comes off pretty no problem at all."

Discussion about what you would do if your lover were there. Start moderate. Express a couple of things that you wish would occur if your lover were there. You can get as realistic as you need, yet you can begin with the essentials as you work toward your progressively intricate dreams. Here are a few things you can say:

"I wish your arms were around me at this moment." "I wish I could kiss your neck at this moment."

"If only you were here, I'd begin snacking on your ear. You wouldn't have the option to stop me."

Get Hot and Heavy

 

Contact yourself - and portray how it feels. You can do this anytime while you're talking dirty. Be that as it may, the prior you do it, the more turned on you'll be. Start tenderly stroking your own body and let your lover comprehend what you're doing. At that point, request that the person in question touch their own body and be nitty-gritty about what you need him to do. Much the same as genuine foreplay, you don't need to contact yourselves anyplace excessively untoward

- start with a light touch that turns you on.

As you continue talking, you can begin contacting yourself in your erogenous zones. Tell your lover precisely what you're doing to your body. In case you're touching your bosoms or stomach, let him know. Depict the entirety of the sensations you feel to your lover. Should you begin to feel a sexy shudder after gently touching your neck, portray it. Tell your lover how you'd need him to contact you. Begin talking pretty much everything you wish your lover would do to your body until you're both overflowing with fervor. Alternate disclosing to one another what you wishes you could do to one another. This can get more realistic than trying to say what you need to do to your lover.

Discussions about what you need to do to your lover.

Tell your lover precisely what you would do to his or then again her body in the event that you were there; Since you're beginning to get energized and to contact your own body, you can kick it up a score and state anything you desire to do to his body, regardless of how dirty it is. Discussion about how turned on you are. Try not to be modest - tell your lover how diverted on you are simply from talking to him and contemplating him alongside you. Tell him that you're

 

energized and that you feel it all over your body. In case you're so turned on that you feel it in your toes, tell your lover.

Uncover your most noteworthy dreams. When you're truly energized, share your dream with your lover, no matter how dirty it might be.

He'll cooperate and discuss it with you, helping you get increasingly turned on as you envision yourselves establishing the dream together. Try not to be hesitant to put it full scale on the telephone line - close your eyes and begin talking.

Remove your garments - and talk about it. Don't simply begin stripping - let your lover in on the peep appear, button by button. In case you're removing your shirt, let him realize that it's sliding over your head. If you're removing your belt, let your woman realize that you're dropping your belt to the floor; Portray your body that will turn on your lover significantly more. You can likewise request that your lover remove his garments. Bossing that person around will be extra hot. You can state, "Presently remove your shirt" or, "I need you to pull down your skirt." At the point when you begin removing your garments, you can approach your lover for approval. As you're removing your shirt, you can ask, "Are you certain you need me to remove my shirt?" This will help paint a visual picture for your lover.

 

Chapter 13.  Sexual Tension Increases with Dirty Talk

Having fun and playing dirty can bring an unimaginable color to your sexual life. Have you ever wondered how glamorous your sex will look if you add more fun to it? Imagine you and your partner having a very hot intercourse, laughing and playing hard before and after. Do you think anyone would even a pain that may have generated from the sex? If you ask me, the difference between consensual sex and rape is fun.

Sex itself is fun, but it could be more fun when you add a bit to it. it can also stick you with your partner forever. They would imagine how it was always fun with you, how it would be very hard to get

someone else to understand them or start the fun with them. Naturally, using a sexual style like this is excellent for a partner you are trying to win their heart.

Fair warning, if you just get into each other’s flesh and stand up every time, it becomes less fun and your partner may shock you by walking away. To whom? Anyone who bursts their brain with fun. In bed, outside, everywhere. You don’t want that to happen to the woman you love. So, adding fun is not an option. It is an unwritten rule.

How can you add fun? First before anything else, you must make sure that if your partner would ever a favorite porn star. Now, talk them into playing willful love games with you. Here are three things you can try for the fun of it:

Role playing: What is that? It is the deliberate act of pretending, and doing silly thigs like you are someone else just to spice up the

 

sensational relationship between you and your partner. From my empirical studies, I can argue anywhere that every person on earth wanted to be like someone else at some point. You do not just want to be like someone else, you want to be like a lot of persons.

Today, you want to be like the kind policeman, tomorrow it is the brilliant lawyer. Other times, it is the impeccable journalist or immaculate lawyer. But to state things correctly, you wanted to be bad too. This isn’t superman fantasies or the big robbers’ hunts; this is about digging into the world hidden in other people’s thighs. Do you remember who you wanted to be as bad as? Do you remember an erotic book you have read, and you really wish it was happening to you? How about your old fantasies about your love life?

You can bring everything to life, with role playing. You may have the fantasy of meeting your lover in a club, but you ended up meeting at work. Among other things, you may even craft one right away, just to spice things with your lover. Your role play may involve going down to a bar, mountain, skiing, hiking and so forth. It may also be practicable in the room. Let’s say it’s about the old teacher who finds her hot student irresistible and lures him to bed. It could be the female student whose skimpy skirts drove her teacher to bed with her, et cetera. You only need to tell your partner what your thoughts are. You could spin your relationship with any of these scenes you choose.

Walk to a bar differently; meet each other as in the rehearsed scripts and go on to bond with each other. Till, as I would expect, you end in each other’s flesh, in your bedroom, according to the script. You can be more creative. As long as it only succeeds in rousing your sexual organs towards loving each other and expecting each other more.

 

For instance, you have had sex regularly, but the thought of going down to bed with this classroom teacher would wet your body in a different way, leaving you high with anticipation. In the same vein, the teacher would keep getting hard in waiting.

Sex toys: If you weren’t role playing before sex, another idea you may consider is the use of sex toys. Sometimes, you may require a lot more stimulation to get yourself aroused. You may also face some health problems that would require you to introduce some sort of gyration. Sex toys are handy in cases like that. They can be used to stimulate a man. They can also be used to arouse all the sensual organs of a woman. It depends on your pick; they can give your oral, vaginal and anal sex a huge boost. What are some you can try?

➢ Straps-on for vaginal penetration

➢ Rabbit vibrators for the clit and G-spot stimulation

➢ thrusting dildos for vaginal and anal penetration too.

➢ Vibrating panties: Put this in your panties and watch yourself blast with thrill.

➢ double ended Dildos: This can penetrate two lesbians at once. Double moaning in the house.

➢ Penis rings: Penis ring helps a man to last longer in sex

➢ Hands-free vibrator: This is a vagina explorer. Its hands sort-of that explores all the holes for it. It includes the clit too.

➢ Nipple clamps: Your guess? You are right. This is meant for the nipples.

Would you want the list to continue? You certainly don’t. You should just reach an adult shop and get the stuffs you feel you need. On the

 

advice of a sexologist of course. Oh! Remember to get real costume for your role play too. Use what fits best in your room, otherwise, call at an adult store.

Lastly Dirty things: did you ever imagine how effective talking is? Naturally, you can win anyone’s heart by talking to them. What if you are at the center of the bedroom? Talking has more values here than elsewhere. Not just talks, dirty ones. Your partner needs you to say dirty things to her as much as you need her to do the same to you.

Saying dirty thins can help you to express exactly what you want. You can boost the spirit of your lover and drive those nuts when you say dirty things to them in bed. Sometimes, your ‘yes!’ is enough to make your partner drive faster, harder, thrusting deeper and wanting to do just what you want. Want ideas of some dirty words:

‘yeah baby, fuck me!’ That’s it!

Harder!

Make me cum baby, fuck my ass! Ouch, yeah!

Faster!

Shoot my mouth up baby, spoil my face with your cum! Pull me like a dog baby; fuck me like it’s the last!

Pound me honey, do it like you have never done!

No kidding, using these words can double your partner’s strength. It is one of the best stimulations to keep driving your partner into urge of sexual fits.

 

Chapter 14.  Unleash Inhibitory Restraints

You’ll never know what it’s like to free your sexual inhibitions until you’ve dirty talked your way to sex so mind-blowing it leaves you both panting and gasping after it’s done. There’s an inner sexual animal within all of us that is waiting to be released, and when we let go of the taboos and the mental chains that weigh us down, there’s an indescribable sexual experience that awaits.

But I’ve never tried dirty talk before. Where would I even begin? Let’s start at the beginning with the types of dirty talk options you have

and how to work your way past the shy, uncomfortable phase so it starts to feel natural. After all, the whole point is to kick your sex drive up a few notches, and the last thing you want is to feel like it is nothing but a painful, cringe-worthy encounter.

The Different Types of Dirty Talk

Sex positions are not the only thing that comes with options. As it turns out, dirty talk does too. Well, you’ve got two options to work with at least:

•Softcore Dirty Talk - Otherwise known as the “sweet nothings” you sometimes whisper in your partner’s ear. The language used in this variation is not exactly what you would call “dirty”. In fact, softcore dirty talk actually sounds warm, affectionate, and even encouraging at times. The purpose of this type of talk is to try and entice your partner’s feelings and play on their affection for you to get them in the mood. If you’re just starting out in the dirty talk arena, then softcore is the way to go when you’re trying to gauge the way your partner feels about it. This is an experience you’ve probably never

 

attempted before, and as with introducing anything new, it’s best to go slow and test the waters instead of coming in full force with the X- rated talk and catch your partner off guard. Some examples of what this type of dirty talk would sound like include: You’re the sexiest thing I’ve never seen. I want you so badly right now. You have no idea what I want to do to you with my tongue and fingers. Don’t be fooled by how lukewarm they sound though, the secret to making it work is in the way that you say it. Say it passionately, say it aggressively, say it with lust, desire, through clenched teeth like you can’t control your urges any longer, and say it in a low, gruff voice that shows your partner you’re having a hard time trying to control yourself from ravaging them. To amp it up, softcore talk sounds even sexier when you’re looking at your partner’s body or genitals instead of their face.

•Hardcore Dirty Talk - These can be quite intimidating if you’ve never attempted to use them before since hardcore talk tends to be direct and sometimes even vulgar. Hardcore dirty talk is best used when you’re trying to trigger a physical response out of your partner instead of an emotional one. This type of talk is meant to appeal to our innermost primal, animal instinct. Think hardcore, full-on, bed- shaking sex since this talk is meant to encourage the animal within us to come out. Partner’s need to drop their inhibitions with hardcore talk and let it all go so they can completely surrender to the pleasure that awaits. In the hardcore talk, expect the use of swear words

every now and again. Profanity and sexy are probably two words you would never think of using in the same sentence, but when swear words slip out during your lovemaking, it gives the impression that you’re losing control and indicates to your partner that the sex is so

 

incredible you’re at a loss for words how to describe it. Some couples use hardcore dirty talk to push their boundaries as they attempt to recreate their sexual fantasies and make the role play appear more realistic. Imagine you were playing the role of the “innocent” next-door neighbor for example. In this role, you’re supposedly naive and innocent, and the thought of any kind of profanity escaping your lips is unheard of. Therefore, when it comes out during your vigorous lovemaking, it’s like your character is breaking all the rules and giving in to their animal lusts, which your partner could find an incredible turn on. One of the biggest advantages of this talk is how raw and honest it feels. Oh yes, you feel so hard inside me. I’m going to make your gorgeous tits bounce so hard when I’m pounding you. Put your cock inside me, baby, I want to scream as you fill me up. The key is hardcore talk is to use words that you and your partner are comfortable using. If using words like tits, pussy, fuck, or cock don’t feel right, you don’t have to force yourself to use it. This is supposed to feel natural, so say whatever comes to mind in the heat of the moment.

Types of Dirty Talk

Getting Over the Awkward Hump

The best sexual conversations happen when we keep it simple, honest, and straightforward. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be difficult, not unless you wanted it to be. You know what you want. You tell your partner what you want. You know what you would like to do. You tell your partner what you’re going to do. That’s all there is to that dynamic. Honest. Straightforward. To the point. Yet, despite the simplicity, many people still freeze and find themselves stuck when

 

it’s ShowTime. It’s not that they don’t want to do it. They just feel weird about it and they don’t know how to get past that.

If it feels weird and uncomfortable, you might be wondering why should I bother dirty talking at all? Isn’t it better to just keep things the way they are? You could, but if there was even the slightest possibility that you could skyrocket your sexual pleasure, wouldn’t you want to give it a go at least? Once you’ve experienced game- changing sex, it is never going to be the same again. Sex is an overall mind and body experience, and if your body is feeling something but your mind is disengaged, no matter how hard you or your partner tries, you’re still going to fall short of sexual nirvana.

Dirty talk is one way of coaxing yourself and your partner out of your own heads. Anything new is always going to feel strange in the beginning, but once you get past the initial awkward stage, it’s only going to be smooth sailing from that point onwards. Yes, it is possible to dirty talk without feeling foolish, and here’s how you do it:

•Keep It Simple - You don’t need to go all out right from the start, despite what the porn videos you might have watch tried to tell you. You and your partner have a rhythm and a dynamic between you that works, and that’s the strength you should capitalize on. Instead of trying too hard to make it perfect, start slow and keep it simple by going with what feels the most natural at the time. There’s no need to construct an over-the-top, elaborate sex script before you hit the sheets. Dirty talk isn’t supposed to sound rehearse; it should stem from the emotions you feel in the heat of the moment. If starting with something simple like I can’t wait to rip your clothes off and feel how hard you are inside me is good enough to get the momentum going. Don’t feel pressured right away to use words you haven’t used

 

before, it’s okay if you need time to work up to it. Keep it simple and playful in the beginning.

•Be the Coach - There are two ways you can approach your dirty talk encounter. The first is to use it to build anticipation. The second is to take on the role of the “coach” or “director” who instructs your partner what to do. If you’re used to giving instructions in your job, this one is a pretty easy concept to transfer into the bedroom. The right amount of instruction can be something your partner may find a turn on. An example of what this might look like is: Put on that sexy black

lingerie of yours that I like tonight and lie down on the bed. I’m going to do things to you that will make you scream.

•Talk Dirty when you’re Not Having Sex - Practice makes perfect, and if you’re struggling with getting over “how weird” dirty talk feels, this might help with that. Couples who are comfortable talking about their sex lives tend to have greater satisfaction in that department.

Most of the time, people feel intimidated by the idea of dirty talk because they have no idea what to say or how to say it. They feel tongue-tied when it’s time to step up and do it. Which is where the practice bit comes in handy. When you’re comfortable talking about sex in everyday conversation, you eventually get comfortable with the terminology and the sexual innuendos involved so it doesn’t seem to awkward anymore when it’s time to turn the conversation “dirty”.

•Learn to Talk about it - Expect a few bumps and slip-ups along the way when you’re new to this whole experience. There could be a time or two when you say something that rubs your partner the wrong way, even if they might not say it out loud, you can sense a shift in the mood. Should you feel like you may have taken things a

 

step too far, it is important to communicate and talk to each other about it. For example, some couples might get turned on calling their partner “daddy” in bed because of the sexual dominance associated with it. But that might not be something your partner is comfortable with. To them, it might have incestuous connotations and that ends up ruining the moment. Talk to your partner about what works and what doesn’t. Ask them what words trigger their fantasies and let them know what yours are. It’s important that you learn to talk about the difficult parts of the process together so you’re both on the same page about it.

•Talk About What You’re Doing - Say what you’re doing, what you want to do, and how you’re going to do it. That’s the easiest way to start dirty talking if you’re struggling to know where to begin. Tell your partner what you want to do to them, or what you’ve been waiting to do to them all day. When they walk through the door, grab them in your arms and say, “I’ve been waiting all day to kiss you all over”, that’ll take them by surprise. As you start kissing them all over (like you said you would), say things like “You taste so good you have no idea”. The dirty talk can even continue after the sex is over by saying “Your tits felt incredible in my mouth just now” or “Your cock felt so hard inside me just now, I loved it!”. That should send shivers up

their spine.

•Think About the Timing- Good timing is everything. A single word uttered at the wrong time can quickly kill the arousal you worked so hard to build. As you test the waters, ideally you want to wait until both of you are sufficiently aroused and “hot for each other” before you progress towards the hardcore dirty talk lingo. It’s much easier to

 

drop some lustful remarks into the lovemaking session after you’re panting and can hardly hold off your lust for each other any longer.

•Figure Out Their Triggers - Everyone’s got a trigger, even if they have never dirty talked before. Trigger words are those special key phrases that turn your partner from a tame lover into a wild stallion. This is where communication once more plays a crucial role as you talk to each other about it. The best way to figure out what your partner’s triggers words are is to ask them. Ask and ye shall receive.

•Try Role-Playing - Sexual fantasies can be extremely arousing. There’s nothing like seeing the naughty seen you’ve tucked away in your mind all this time come to life in front of you. It’s like the Disneyland of lovemaking and it’s a great excuse to start talking in a way you never have before (i.e. dirty talk). There should be no judgment happening here, respect what your partner’s fantasies are. Couples should work together to create an environment where both feel safe enough to reveal their secrets. Maybe your fantasy involves being rescued by a man in uniform as he sweeps you up in his arms and carries you into the bedroom to have his way with you. Maybe in your fantasy, you’re the director of an adult movie and you’re “directing” your lover about what they need to do onscreen. Tell them how to slowly peel their clothes off in front of the camera, or how to use sex toys to tease their genitals. Your fantasies are only limited by your imagination and if your partner is up for it, anything goes. Role- playing is the perfect opportunity to slip in some dirty lingo, and because you’re pretending to be someone else at the time, there’s less awkwardness involved.

How to Introduce Your Partner to Dirty Talk

 

What you like in bed is unique to you. Like your fingerprints, no two people are going to necessarily like the same thing. What kicks your sexual desire into overdrive might be something that makes your partner cringe at the very thought of it. For this endeavor to be a success, couples need to figure out what is going to work for both of them. Desire and pleasure can’t be a one-way street in this context. Both partners need to be fully committed to the experience if it is going to work. Admittedly, this can be tricky if you’re just getting to know your significant other and you haven’t been dating for very long. How do you tell someone you’re only starting to get intimate with that you want them to talk dirty to you in bed? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. But it doesn’t have to be if you play your cards right.

The easiest way to introduce your partner to the hidden pleasure of lustful lingo is to lead by example. Let’s say you were with a partner who is not quite as adventurous as you are. They might be taken aback or even shocked if you suddenly come at them full force telling them all the naughty things you would like to do and describing parts of their body using expletives. Introduce your partner to it by starting slow with less forceful language to start. Watch the way they react and respond to your verbal cues and any physical cues that might accompany your words. When it comes to dirty talk, not everyone wants the same delivery. Some couples may be into the sweet,

kinky, or romantic kind of dirty talk. Others are turned on by anything that relates to their fantasies. It does not have to be raunchy or hardcore all the time, it depends entirely on the couple and what works best.

 

How do you work up to it though, and casually bring it up in conversation without pushing against your partner’s boundaries too much? Well, opportunity knocks in different ways, one of which would be when you’re watching a movie together as an example of one such scenario. Wait for the opportune moment, and during a particularly steamy scene on screen, casually say “I think it’s incredibly sexy the way they used dirty talk there, what do you think?”. Another way to ease this topic into the conversation is when you’re kissing and cuddling each other. As your kisses intensify, whisper in their ear between kisses what they would like to hear in bed. Ask them to tell you what turns them on. In return, tell them what does it for you and what you would like to hear them say.

Sexual desires and fantasies are perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed about. You’ve got your secret fantasies and you can bet that your partner has them too.

What happens if your partner is still not a fan of dirty talk despite your best efforts? That’s okay, the important thing is that you don’t stress too much over this until it creates tension between you. It can be frustrating and disappointing to find out that you’re not on the same page, but there is always a solution to every conundrum. The solution in this case? Try to find a compromise. Talk to each other and work out what a happy medium could be, so you still get the dirty talking you’ve been craving but without making your partner too uncomfortable at the same time. If your partner is not keen on using profanities, work out a system where you whisper compliments to each other instead. Or you could ask if they would consider being more vocal in bed, not with their words, but with the sounds they

 

make. A few well-placed “mmms” and “aahhhs” could still get the job done.

 

Chapter 15.  Talking Dirty to Fulfill All Your Fantasies

This is the thought of a sexual fantasy or role-playing can be “out there.” It’s often more challenging to bring up in conversation. Also, talking through a fantasy (and playing it out) takes more practice than regular dirty talk. That being said, it can also be extremely invigorating for a relationship and unlock new feelings and passions between a couples. Most people have some kind of fantasy or kink, even if they’ve never tried it or spoken of it. Because of our backgrounds and other experiences, we’re often told our fantasies are gross or bad, so we repress them. However, surveys have shown that both men and women have some things they really want to try, so if you’re wondering about your partner, odds are they have a secret. By expressing your desires for a role-play, you are giving them permission to open up, too.

How to bring it up

Bringing up a sexual fantasy isn’t too different from bringing up dirty talk in general. Depending on the nature of the fantasy, however, you might be feeling more anxious. Maybe you anticipate your partner being very surprised by this idea and uncertain. This means you should only bring it up when it’s just you two, in private, and you are feeling emotionally close and safe. After sex is actually a very good time, because sexy stuff is on both your minds already and it won’t be as jarring for your partner. Another example of a good time:

you’re watching a TV show or movie, and a couple onscreen role-

 

plays. The idea is already floating in the air, so you are bringing it up won’t seem so random or startling. Once the time is right, what do you actually say? Here are some ideas:

(After watching a movie/show with role-play): Do you think that looks like it could be fun?

(After watching a movie/show with role-play): I’ve always wanted to try role-play. Is that something you would be interested in?

(After sex): Next time, there’s something new I want to try, if that’s okay. (Describe what you want.)

(After sex): Want to hear about my ultimate sexual fantasy?

(After sex): Can I tell you about something I’ve always wanted to try?

Refer to a movie or book

If you find it challenging to describe your fantasy in your own words, you can show your partner what you mean using porn (if they’re cool with it), reading erotic lit, or previewing a costume or toy. Many sexual fantasies come from porn, and there’s no clearer way of showing your partner what you like than by pointing them to a reenactment. If you’re both comfortable with it, watching the video

 

together can be a very intimate experience, or they can watch it by themselves. Maybe your fantasy originates from a book or there’s a book that simply demonstrates the fantasy really well. Read it out loud to your partner if you want, or if you feel awkward doing that, have them read it silently. Both porn and/or erotica are great ways to clarify what exactly your fantasy is and gives your partner a good idea of the kinds of words/phrases you respond to.

Show-and-tell some items related to your fantasy

If you know your partner responds best to visuals, you can show off an outfit or demonstrate a toy for them. If they aren’t into porn, this is an especially helpful idea, because they get to see you acting out what you want. Tell them to sit back and take it easy while you model your maid/cop/professor/astronaut/whatever costume. Talk to them as if you were that character, so they get a clear idea of what excites you. Show them the toy and explain (sensually, of course) how to

use it. If your fantasy doesn’t involve a costume or accessories - maybe you want to have sex in a certain location - set the scene with your words or even take them there, pointing out where exactly you would like to get busy.

Easing into role-play

Even if you feel comfortable with regular dirty talk, using it while role- playing can be tricky at first. You’re using your imagination a lot more

 

because you aren’t just describing what you’re feeling in the moment; you’re embodying a character or personality that might be very different than your own. As an example, being dominated is a common fantasy for women, and their partners might feel uncertain about how far they should go. Even if an extreme persona isn’t part of the fantasy, there’s still anxiety about being convincing enough or

just sounding dumb. Here are some ways to melt away anxieties and get comfortable with fantasy:

Talk it out

Before you dress up or break out the handcuffs or whatever it is, you’re into, it’s a good idea to just sit down and talk through the fantasy, play-by-play. Often times, the dirty talk is actually the most important part of the experience, especially if the fantasy is something the couple doesn’t actually want to do (say, a threesome in the basement of an Italian castle); they just want to imagine it. Get comfortable and set the scene. Say what you want to do and what you want your partner to do. Go back and forth describing the sex. If you are describing a scenario that you plan on actually acting out at some point, be sure to only describe what you would be comfortable doing or saying. If you’re narrating a more extreme scene you would never be a part of in real life, be sure your partner knows that. Ask questions to prompt your partner, like:

(Cop/criminal fantasy) “I’m holding the handcuffs and teasing you about arresting me. What do you do?”

 

(Dominating fantasy) “I’ve been a bad boy/girl. How are you going to punish me?”

(Cheating or threesome fantasy) “You see me across the room, whispering in a gorgeous woman/man’s ear and playing with their hair. What do you want to do?”

(School or workplace fantasy) “You’re seeing me for the first time ever; I’m a new student/coworker/professor/doctor/nurse/etc. What do you notice first, and what kind of dirty thoughts cross your mind?”

(Extreme environments/apocalypse fantasy) “It’s so hot here in the desert and I’m begging you for your canteen. What are you going to make me do to get it?”

(Extreme environments/snowed in fantasy) “We’re all alone here in this freezing cabin and no help can make it through the snow for hours. What should we do to keep warm?”

Keep it simple

Playing out your fantasies doesn’t need to be complicated. Sometimes just an outfit or a toy is all you need to create a sexy illusion. Your dirty talk can be the same as always, if that’s what you

 

want. If you want to spice it up a bit and get more specific, try saying just one dirty thing that’s relevant to the fantasy per sex session. As an example, let’s say you’re pretending you’re a virgin. Slip in “I can’t believe it feels this good my first time.” Maybe you’re a student seducing their professor, so say something like, “I bet I’m going to get an A on tomorrow’s test.” As you get more comfortable, you can start talking more.

Establish clear boundaries

If you’re getting into roleplay, you should have a safe word. That isn’t something limited to the pros. Since role-playing is all about pretend, this safe word will snap both of you back out of it, so you know when things are real, and you are yourselves again. Communicate beforehand about the words/phrases you don’t want at all included in your role play. Maybe you’re usually more refined and want to feel dirtier during sex, so words like “slut” and “whore” are welcome during the fantasy, but you draw the line at “cunt.” Maybe you are the partner being asked to call your lover a word you can’t bear to slip past your lips, even when you’re pretending to be someone else. Let your partner know beforehand. Boundaries might change over time, they might not - both are perfectly fine.

Dirty talk ideas for different fantasy scenarios

 

You’re playing out your fantasy in a way you’re comfortable with and want to amp things up with some dirty talk. As we mentioned before, you don’t have to say a lot or even say things specific to that roleplay, but odds are it will help really keep you in the moment and strengthen the fantasy. It would be impossible to cover every scenario, but here are some common fantasies and ideas on what to say:

Virgin + bad boy/girl

“I’ve been warned about guys/girls like you.”

“I know I shouldn’t do this, but I can’t help myself.” “I’m going to make your first time unforgettable.” “Be gentle, it’s my first time.”

“I’m not sure how to do this. Can you show me?”

“Don’t worry about anything; I’ll take good care of you.”

Cop + criminal

“I’ve been very bad, officer. What are you going to do to me?” “I’ve always had a thing for men/women in uniform.”

“That uniform looks awfully tight, officer. Maybe you could loosen up a little?”

“I’m going to need to perform a strip search.”

 

“I’m going to need to handcuff you.”

“If you do something for me, I may let you go with just a warning.”

Boss + employee

“Is there anything I can do to improve this performance review?” “If you’re not busy, I’d really like to talk about that raise.”

“I’m not so sure that skirt/blouse is appropriate for the workplace.”

“I keep getting fired because I can’t help sleeping with/fucking the boss.”

“I hope you’re not in the habit of fucking your employees, or I’m going to get jealous.”

Student + teacher

“I know you’re the professor, but I think there are a few things I could teach you.”

“I hope you’re a lot better at fucking/sucking/other sex acts than you are at math/English/science/subject of your choice.”

“If I don’t get an A on the next test, I think I’m going to need extra help.”

“You did very poorly on that last assignment, so I think you could benefit from a little one-on-one time.”

 

“That lecture was really interesting. Can we talk about it more alone in your office?”

“Congratulations on doing so well on that test. I have an idea about how we should celebrate.”

Doctor/nurse + patient

“It’s time for your physical.”

“I’m going to need to take a real close look at you.”

“Well, you look like you’re in perfect shape. Let’s make sure everything works.”

“I’m having trouble with this buttons/zipper. Can you help me?”

“I’ve been having trouble getting hard/getting wet/getting aroused. Any ideas on how to fix that?”

“When I touch you here, do you feel any pain or something else?”

“It’s time for your sponge bath. It looks like you’re going to need a lot of soaping up.”

Strangers/one-night stand

“You must be new in town; I would remember an ass/body/face like yours.”

“I’m only in the city for tonight. What’s something fun and exciting I could do to remember my visit?”

 

“I love that shirt/skirt/other article of clothing, but I’m curious about what’s underneath.”

“It’s still early - want to come back to my place?”

“I never do this, but you’re so sexy, I just can’t help myself.” “No names, just kiss/suck/fuck me.”

Royalty + servant

“I’ll do whatever you wish, my queen/king.” “I’m at your command.”

“I’m here to serve you.”

“Your queen/king requires your services.” “Strip for your queen/king.”

“Obey me.”

“Worship your queen/king.”

Masseuse + client

“You’ve got a lot of tension down here.”

“I think I know just how to end this massage.”

“I didn’t think a woman/man this beautiful/handsome/sexy/hot would ever have their hands all over me.”

“If you want an extra tip, I have an idea of how you could earn it.”

 

“I’m going to have to ask my assistant to cancel the rest of my appointments. I think we’re going to be here a while.”

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt a body this hard/muscled/sleek/smooth/perfect before.”

Escort + client

“Can you go over what services you’re offering tonight?”

“Kiss me like you mean, I want to feel like I’m getting my money’s worth.”

“It’s been a long time since someone really worked my body like that.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to like what I’m offering.” “You’re so hot; you’re making my job easy.”

“You’re going to get your money’s worth tonight.”

Dominatrix + client

“I’ve been really naughty, and I need my master/mistress to punish me.”

“I’ll do anything you want.”

“Don’t talk unless I say you can talk.” “Get on your knees.”

“I’m in charge now, so you better pay attention.”

 

“You can’t cum until I give you permission.”

Celebrity + roadie/groupie

“I brought the stuff you wanted from the van. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you. There’s this one thing I always promised myself I would do”

“You must be so lonely always on tour, but you don’t have to be alone tonight.”

“You’ve been so helpful on the road, and I know just how to thank you.”

“I saw you in the front row and knew right away that I had to have you.”

“This was my last show on this tour. Any ideas on how to make it the most memorable one ever?”

Lonely housewife/husband + delivery person

“My wife/husband isn’t home for hours; what am I going to do with all that time?”

“You must be so lonely with your wife/husband gone. Can I keep you company for a little while?”

“I’m so glad my delivery is here because I ordered something fun for myself. Want to see me try it out?”

 

“I’ve seen you staring at me through the window whenever I come up to the door, and I think it’s time we do something about it.”

Stripper/exotic dancer + client

“Would you be interested in a private dance?”

“You can look all you want, but you have to keep your hands to yourself.”

“I just started dancing here and I’m worried I’m not any good. Promise you’ll tell me if I’m doing a good job.”

“You’re not even touching me and I’m already wet/hard. You must be a pro.”

“Can I give you a ride after your last song? Back to my place?”

Main takeaways

Wanting sex that’s more fantasy or role-play driven is very common, and dirty talk can really spice up the experience.

The best time to bring up the idea of role-play/fantasy is when your partner is already thinking about sex. That might be during a movie with a sex scene or after sex. If you bring it up out of the blue after, say, a game night with parents, they’ll probably be too surprised to respond in a positive way.

 

Role-playing doesn’t need to be elaborate to be sexy. It can be as simple or complex as you want.

If you’re brand-new to this type of sex, it’s a good idea to talk it out first; emphasizing the words and phrases you want your partner to use and describing what you want to do. Sometimes, just talking out an extreme scenario that would never happen (and with actions you would never actually perform) is satisfying enough.

Clear boundaries are especially important in role-play. Having a safe word may be necessary.

Common role-play/fantasy scenarios include boss + employee, doctor + patient, royalty + servant, and escort + client.

 

Chapter 16.  Dirty Talk Phrases

b. Phrases to say during foreplay

Things to Say to Her:

During foreplay, use dirty talk to make your lover feel safe and relaxed.

Just lie back. Let daddy take care of you.

Women are generally sensitive about their bodies so make sure that you occasionally compliment whatever body part that you’re touching or kissing or licking at the moment.

Mmm I love burying my face in your breasts. They’re so warm and soft and beautiful.

Baby, you taste like strawberries down there.

Use bawdy talk to encourage your woman to assume a more active role in foreplay.

I want you to take my cock in that sexy, dirty mouth.

Use dirty words to reassure her that she’s doing a fantastic job. Fuck! Your tongue feels so good on my balls. Don’t stop, baby.

Use naughty words to tell her how eagerly you’ve been waiting for this moment.

 

Oh God, I’ve been dreaming of eating your cunt all day.

Use naughty language to describe what you just did.

The purpose of this is to encourage a shy partner to be more vocal during foreplay.

Ex: I just tied you up and ripped your panties off.

Such a statement prompts your woman to tell you what she wants you to do next.

When you’re acting out a role, exude confidence to become convincing.

She won’t care if you have a beer belly. If you say that you’re a stud and mean it, she’ll believe it!

I’m your master. You’re my sex slave. Now, kneel down and suck my cock.

Things to Say to Him:

Use naughty words to let him know how hot you think he is. Like women, men also like knowing that they are desired.

When I touch your muscular arms, it gives my lady bits a little twitch.

Fondle his ego. Use words that appeal to his masculinity.

 

I love how broad your shoulders are. When you’re on top of me, it makes me feel so small but safe and protected.

I love feeling your chest hair against my breasts. They’re so rich and manly.

Use dirty words to describe what your lover is doing to you. Ex:

While he’s fingering you, say:

It feels so good when you slip your finger and in and of my hungry cunt. I’m getting wetter and wetter by the second.

Yes, he’s already doing it but hearing the words from your lips will give him an extra, unexpected thrill.

Love what he’s doing? Use naughty words to let your man know he’s going the right route.

Mmm… That’s it. I love the slow, sensuous way you massage by breasts.

Don’t like what he’s doing? Use your dirty words to divert his attention elsewhere.

Ex: If he’s spending too much time sucking on one breast and it starts to feel raw, grab your other boob and say something like: This baby’s getting jealous.

Let him know what you’re about to do to him.

 

That brief moment where a fantasy is painted in his mind just before it becomes a reality is totally worth it.

Now, I’m going to sit on your face and let you eat me.

Use dirty talking as an opportunity to let him know what you want him to do next.

It feels so good when you nibble on my clit. And my hot, wet pussy is craving your tongue.

This way, he’ll know that you want more and that you’re ready for him to stick his tongue in.

The man is commonly more aggressive in bed so when a woman asserts herself with confidence, this becomes quite a turn on for him.

By the time I’m done playing with your cock, you’ll be begging for me to take it in my hot, juicy cunt.

c. Phrases to say during intercourse

Things to Say to Her:

Use dirty talk during intercourse to make her feel safe and loved and wanted.

While you’re in the missionary position, run your fingers through her hair. Then, grab her hair slightly behind her head. As you thrust in and out, whisper softly into her ear.

Use dirty talk while in a position that allows for direct eye contact. Look deep into her eyes to convey sincerity.

 

If you’re fucking her from behind, hold her close and whisper into her ear or against her neck. If possible, touch her face and turn her head so you can look into her eyes. Reassure her that you love and respect her even when you’re treating her like a whore.

Ex:

You’re my little slut. Your all mine and I love you.

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of having sex with you. I’d fuck you forever if I could.

While you’re deep inside her, describe the experience to her.

Of course, this involves telling her how nice being in her pussy feels. You’re so fucking tight and warm. Wish I could stay here forever.

Make her aware of the sexy stuff that’s going on with her body. See how wet I’ve made you?

Just hearing you pant like that… It makes me want to come soon.

If she’s on top, use dirty words to motivate her.

Seeing you dominating me like this… Fuck, it’s such a turn on!

Like what she’s doing? Use naughty words to urge her to keep going.

Ugh, that’s its baby, bounce that gorgeous ass.

 

If you want her to keep doing something, use the technique of repetition. This yields a trance-like effect and appeals to the subconscious.

Deep down, you’re a bad girl, aren’t you? You like feeling my cock inside you, you bad, bad girl… You’re so bad, I think I may have to punish you.

Let her know you’re hers. This cock is all yours.

Let her know she’s yours.

Bend over, woman. I’m going to fuck you from behind. Put your hands on your breasts and play with them.

Spread your legs wider. I want to take what’s mine.

When giving out commands, use powerful action words like suck, lick, swallow, etc.

Once you start getting good at giving out orders, stack a sequence of commands to get her to do what you want.

You like it when I fuck you hard. You’re a naughty girl who likes it hard. You love it when I push my cock hard and rough like this.

Afterwards, have your lover affirm this back to you. Go on, tell me you like it hard.

 

If you’re about to blow your wad on her, use your dirty mouth to give her a polite warning.

When I explode, I’m going to fill your cunt with so much cum. You’re thirsting for me cum, aren’t you, you dirty bitch?

Things to Say to Him:

As you let him in, let him know that he’s welcome. Oh yes, I need you deep inside me.

Finally! I’ve been thinking of your long, hard, throbbing cock all day long.

Flatter his ego by letting him know of the effect he has on you. Oh God, my whole body is trembling.

Let him know how much you’re enjoying it. Don’t you dare stop fucking me!

Describe in erotic detail the pleasurable things that you’re experiencing.

The way your balls rub against my cunt… it’s so sensual.

Use that dirty mouth of yours to make him feel in control. I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Punish me.

 

Use dirty talk to let him know that you can take it. That’s it, honey; fuck me hard ‘til my cunt hurts.

Let him know you’re his.

I’m you’re whore. Make love to me like you own me. I’m your sex slave. Possess me.

I’m your toy. Use me.

Use your skill in lustful language to let him know you’re ready to get rough.

Oh yeah, baby, pull my hair!

That’s it, honey, squeeze my tits harder.

While he’s deep inside you, use dirty words to compliment his cock. Oh yeah, baby, fill me up!

Is your lover’s pornographic speech making you feel uncomfortable? Use your own filthy words to cut it short.

Enough dirty talk, daddy. I’d rather you go dirty on me.

d. Phrases to say during orgasm

Things to Say to Her:

 

One way to send your woman to the brink of climax is to play to her vanity.

Let her know she’s beautiful. Let her know she’s sexy. In the dirtiest possible way, of course.

Damn, baby, I could come just by looking at your face. You’re so beautiful. You drive me fucking insane.

Your ass looks so hot when it’s up in the air like this. God, I can’t stop fucking it.

The taste of your cunt is addictive; do you know that?

If there’s anything more effective than the previous tip, it’s this: Use filthy words to tell your woman you love her.

I love the way you smell. I love the way you moan when I fuck you like this. I just love everything about you…

Show her how grateful you are.

When she feels appreciated, she’ll relax, and the climax will come so much easier.

You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, do you know that?

God, I wish I had met you sooner. We fit together perfectly.

Do you know how grateful I am that your pussy’s so tight? Fuck, it feels so amazing.

Say her name.

 

Insert her name in your fiery expressions of desire. This reassures your woman that you know exactly who you’re sleeping with. More than that, hearing her name from your lips makes the dirty talk more special and more intimate.

 

God,  

 

, something about you brings out the animal in me.

 

Another way to push her to orgasm is to let her know that you’re almost on the verge of climax.

Fuck, you’re so hot, I can barely hold it in.

God, I’m close to coming. When I do, I’m going to wash that filthy mouth of yours with my cum.

Encourage her to be vocal when she orgasms. I can’t wait to hear you moan when you come.

When you come, you’re going to call out my name.

Lastly, urge her to come just by telling her to come.

I want that juicy pussy to squirt love juice all over my cock. I want you to soak my cock with so much cum.

I want these sheets to be wet with your cum.

Things to Say to Him:

 

Use filthy words to encourage him to come. Oh yes, honey, come for me.

When you come, I want to hear you scream my name. I want every last drop of your cum.

Use dirty words to let him know where he can spill it.

Guys love ejaculating all over your body. It’s brought about by their primal instinct to “mark their territory.” Let your man know that you’re giving him your consent to spill his semen on your breasts, in your mouth, in your vagina, etc. Knowing that you’re craving his seed will make his release ten times more satisfying.

We’re not stopping until I taste your cum in my mouth. I want you’re cum all over my face.

When I get up tomorrow, I want you’re cum dripping down my leg.

When a man is on his way to the peak, there can be nothing more exciting than knowing that he’s free to spill his seed wherever he wants.

Tell me where you wanna come.

When you come, I want you to pour it wherever you like. I want you to cover me with your cum.

The right words uttered at the perfect moment can send your lover

off to an explosive, earth-shattering climax such as he/she has never had before. Make sure that you deliver these stimulating phrases

 

during your partner’s steady ascent to the peak of pleasure. You can do this by observing the telltale signs of climax such as rapid breathing, dilated pupils, and muscular contractions.

 

Chapter 17.  Sexual Communication and Erotic Massage

Everything is so sexy and transparent! Everyone else has to struggle for encounters in actual bedrooms that aren't so sexy: small penises, weak desire, premature ejaculation, vaginal pain, and many more!

You can't ignore those issues, but how do we talk about them? An erotic life is difficult, and it may be uncomfortable or frightful to think about it. Without the ability to communicate gender, a marriage would likely be detached, stressful, and even dull! Take a moment to explore a very private topic. Join us.

A couple called Suzanne and Sam went to therapy to resolve their gender differences in their early 50s. Sam found that his sex drive was small, a shift for him. Suzanne frequently learns several nuances about her and addresses the changes of menopause with her gynecologist. A vaginal hypothermic or hormone cream is prescribed by the nurse. Her libido begins to return, and she becomes more sexual.

Sam admitted he had erectile changes, which were very disheartening. He was afraid of trying to communicate, finding that his erection was not as stable as it was when he was younger. Sam and Suzanne were told by their psychologist about routine physical changes in men and women as they grew older. When they explored their shifting roles and desires and heard about it, Suzanne and Sam started to relax in terms of performance goals. They noticed it provided relaxation and a rekindled sexual relationship when they spoke frankly about the complexities of aging.

The Bridge to Sexual Awareness

 

Imagine the road for better communication around gender as a bridge. The trip starts with the desire to learn the extent of one's individuality. The route across the bridge comprises of many variables. Some refer to individual sexuality: perceptions of children's lives, sexual injuries, sexual uniqueness, and the challenges of life.

Others relate to a partner like communication, expectations, struggles with relationships, and desires. These personal components and interactions lead to sexual awareness. A person may allow him or herself to have his or her sexual voice heard about these things.

The Need to Talk About Sex

There appears to be a lot of talk shows on sex! Dr. Phil and Oprah, do it. Books about it are available. What, then, is all this emphasis on speech? They realize as counselors that some individuals aren't comfortable talking about it.

Women in general! The social habits, lectures, and personal relationships were disrupted by pain. We know that many important things continue to simmer on the back of the burner before things get to the point of boiling without someone raising the topic.

Sexual Healing

Why is it essential for me to get acquainted with gender? My sexual problems are not just my problem, and I don't think that it is only my problem. My partner also has issues!

Before you can move on this information to someone else, you must learn yourself. If you talk about sex, it's useful if speaking to someone else to consider where their thoughts and assumptions

 

come from. Without understanding where you come from and where you plan to go, you cannot have a discussion. It's an "our" issue for a couple. We understand. But first, you have to know about yourself.

How to Talk About Sex

In a marriage, interaction is a crucial part of it. It is also essential to get nearer, feel safer, and establish greater trust through communicating ideas and feelings correctly and experiencing compassion. Responding with regard creates an environment in which freedom of expression occurs. Slowly begin intimate discussions, remember to maintain a sense of humor, and to be aware of positive and negative reactions. Bear in mind that a secure space is needed for gender conversations, and a marriage is not always a haven. To get to a place where there is security, some wounds from the past may have to be corrected. When you consider a physical or emotional intimacy uncomfortable, you might need professional help to improve empathy, to feel happier and to develop a more satisfying sexual partnership.

Clear contact with sexual needs, anxieties, and expectations should be encouraged. It is safe to say there are other fields of contact which also have issues with sexual communication. Communication encourages conversation, but it can seem like your companion talks a foreign language if you're unconnected.

During their teens, Tyler and Tessa, a young couple, came to see a psychologist first with a few questions. Tessa challenged Tyler to clarify why they had looked for help, so she went over her head, sitting and talking to her friend. Tyler became upset as he explained that for the two years of his marriage, he had been struggling with

 

premature ejaculation. They could not talk about it at home without tears and struggles. Tyler blamed himself, and Tessa felt hopeless and angry.

The sexual problems of Tessa and Tyler have permeated their marriage in another way. The stress of the ongoing sexual issue has contributed to conflicts between them when trying to talk about money and time management. As they did not feel they were intimate partners in the house, also in the other facets of their

marriage, they did not feel near and connected. Tessa and Tyler both hated the confrontations and started avoiding time to talk, touch or plan. They were finally able to speak of their mutual issues after several months of practicing effective communication, which allowed them to become more related and comfortable.

Communication Tips with Your Partner

• Listening is a practical thing. Most of us find it challenging to understand the other party as we formulate our refutations.

• The gap is between you and your friend. Don't expect consensus. Don't anticipate compromise. Achieve inclusion. Expect complexity.

• It can make you feel better and stronger just by expressing your rage, yet it won't help the marriage. Try to speak but be polite and

not aggressive as well.

• Maintain

the claims to a minimum. The data your mate can't keep to is so big. It's getting awful.

•

 

If you need clarity, ask specific questions.

• Keep out of generalizations, like saying, "You stay away. "And'

You are never.' You never Time-out is an excellent tool as long as you and your companion adhere to the guidelines and return later to discuss the problem.

• Consider how to preserve

a private conversation. Is it all right to discuss your sexual issues with your best friend or brother?

• Seek to paraphrase the other person's words. Make sure that you always listen to your

partner.

• Show concern for

our partner’s emotions. Empathy implies you don't comply with your stance or view. Empathy demonstrates compassion, validation, and comprehension.

• Use the announcements, "I think." Don't think you know the mood of your

partner. Stop the claims of "you."

• Lecture works at a state fair only! Take a look at each other's things. Mind you

are not your partner's specialist. The Brain’s Role in Sex and Love

Despite differences in youth, singularity, and personal struggles, this book is aimed at helping people connect and think about sex. Yet our

 

chemical composition is what? Apart from some variations in sex, they seem to be biologically very identical.

Why do we want physical comfort and love? To explain shifts in our sexual relationships, it helps to examine the ebb and flow of passion. Knowing the psychology of "lovemaking" will help us understand the intense emotional and sexual drive in long-term relationships.

Three separate systems seem to play a part in what is referred to as love. For general, testosterone for both men and women is the first processor of motivation and desire. We are guided to search for sexual partners by hormones and chemicals in early brain structures.

The second method, romantic love, is explored in Helen Fisher's book Why We Love, which tells of experiments using neuroimaging in brain-related chemicals in which a few people focused exclusively and intensely on each other. The phase of romantic love usually lasts around six to 18 months. Scanning using FMRI has shown that people looking at a photograph of their loved ones have decreased their behavior substantially in the brain area called the ventral tissues field. Their presence is defined as the ventral tissue zone.

Cells in this region of the brain release dopamine, a neurotransmitter that causes us to look for food, water, and sex, for instance, which are all necessary for survival. Dopamine has been dispersed to numerous areas of the brain and helps us to focus on and concentrate on a goal, producing a lot of power and "feelings of pleasure." There is a sensation of intense, even massive, recognition, when the partner of interest is identified, which

motivates us to go on. The hormone testosterone is often boosted by dopamine and, therefore, causes desire for women.

 

The third system is called connection or corresponding love and consolidates the link. Neuroscience has shown people to be increasingly active in this process and it seems to be mostly stimulated by two receptors, oxytocin, and vasopressin, which are closely inundated in the brain. This response tends to affect dopamine and norepinephrine activity in the brain, which decreases the impact of romantic love and triggers an anticipation surge that first "harvested" to drop.

As described above, the romantic stage inevitably fades in any relationship. How often has this deep feeling of "joy" driven company appeared, only to find that it vanishes over time? Is it normal that when we think sexual attraction is gone, we get depressed?

Sexercises

Take the connection with sexual consciousness, think whether each statement is correct or incorrect while reading the following comments.

D Human contact is helpful to me. D

My body makes me feel good. D    I have faith in my friend. D       I'm sure.

D I feel good about myself. D

My religion has sent me encouraging sexual signals.

D I think the media shouldn't represent my sex life.

 

D I sound as though I am mindful of my physical injuries. D

The personal disorders (therapy or the partner) have been dealt with.

D I recognize that the personal expectations of my wife and I are different.

D I agree my mate may have different sexual likes and dislikes.

D I know that my sex life has problems (aging, birth, disease, sexual disturbance, emotional difficulties, etc.)

D

My wife and I effectively communicate on sex.

D I've got realistic sex dual standards.

D I know there's a lot of sexual stereotypes.

D

My wife and I can work on marriage combat (conflict, sex, energy battle, company, etc.).

D I know what's going on with me.

D I know what's going on with my wife.

D I am hunting for sexual spicing.

D I frequently

have hot dates with my wife.

 

D I can talk to my therapist easily about sex. D I

can speak to my healthcare provider quickly about sex.

You have picked the right book if you have replied "true" to some of those comments! Speak with your partner to create your guidelines, and you will feel more secure. You may want to talk outside your bedroom so that your bedroom is a safe zone. Write down your journal rules, and each time you sit down to discuss sex, read each other’s, if appropriate. Take into account the safety and what you want. Every spouse should discuss with him or she is healthy. Do you have to be reassured? Generally, do you reach a point where you think you are not understood when you have discussions?

Which causes could affect your partner's listening? Where should the talks take place? Is there a problem with interruptions? Try to discuss how to end the debate, so no partner feels like it's unresolved.

Try to consider as many sexual terms as you can if both you and your wife are in the right place. In your journal, write down the terms. When you were a kid, think of what you considered your body bits, the amusing words you may have learned during your lifespan, as well as the medicinal terminology. Be sure that during this argument, you maintain your sense of humor!

Start talking daily about sex! Test the schedule; concentrate on one question every week, like:

D

What is a film with a sex scene that turned you on?

 

D Where is the right spot other than a bed for lovemaking? D

What have you ever read that’s the best pornographic story? D

What kind of music "inspires" you? D

What did you think life would be like before you had children?

D Recall trying to keep the sexual activity pleasant and enjoyable!

There will be time to talk about more serious issues, but the goal here is to get you and your wife to talk about sex. Stay away from things that are psychologically laden. One good idea is to write down the queries, maybe put them in a bowl, and choose one every week to answer. So, you're always going to have to talk about something!

Erotic Massage

Saying "Absolutely" is strength in our society that we have acquired. Entertainment is generally not placed on our schedule every day. "Sounds nice, but I don't have time." Sadly, we do not do fun well.

We don't have room for enjoyment. During our everyday lives, how many of us are affected? We were carried, kissed, and stimulated

the whole day when we were children. Do we feel we no longer need it as adults? Do we hide a grave lack in our activity to feel appreciated, loved, and wanted?

How can a hard worker, who is tired, become a restful, touch-fed person? Do we need instruction from a physician? "You're feeling bizarre; you're going to go home, languish in the arms of your loved

 

one until revived." We all recall being "removed" for daydreaming like a baby and being reprimanded by a parent or teacher: "Quit day- dreaming; you're wasting time." But what was lost at that moment? "Sales are down: go back, take a more extended sensual bath, relax, and dream in the daytime.

Yet we do not seem to get around to being. We are a planet full of human characters. We're just human beings. And how much happiness in just independence do we find through our frenetic activity and achievements?

Our anxious, dualistic mentality always drives us to believe we have two sides to choose from. In this book, I want to tell you that between hard work existence and fun, you don't have to decide; instead, you can have both. Harmony enriches our worlds, and every day we celebrate the strength and happiness of our bodies.

Consent for Extra Pleasure

As a coach for sex and intimacy, my main task is to allow people to have more fun. I am an advocate for fun. "Choose nice, my mantras. Do this for you. Do it for you. Just have it your way. Have it your way. Say yes to wishes — please say it!" I encourage women to flirt, turn on, and praise. I help men turn off their rational minds to "go" to enjoy the moment and experience with their bodies. I see a smooth wash of my customers' eyes, animation, and hope come and play for

the overshadowed girl or boy. I have seen it, and it's something I love watching.

A place of fun, I like to picture. "Want to talk about the biggest experience I had last night?" You invite a pal excitedly. And, when I was playing in the laundry room this morning, "the funniest thing

 

happened." Or, teasingly, "Have I ever said anything about you in my dream...?"They are all people. We are all hearing. We are core boys. They are girls. How long have we stopped playing? When are we able to begin again?

Erotic massage can lift the game limit for you. I recommend a regular dose of touch if you feel fatigued or repetition in your life–sensual, no stress, and no-destination contact. I recommend you plan on exploring the erotic body with massage activities in the book for

some time— five, ten, and 20 minutes most days (and occasionally for longer). Pleasure is a matter of course. Put it on the schedule.

The Electric Body and Breathing

The secret to an erotic massage is the practice of basic breathing strategies.

Conscious breathing helps you to liberate your friend from the chatter and the need to "perform." Breath consciousness may push erotic energy forms into an electrifying sensation of the whole body in an environment, like genitals.

Conscious breathing slows down the mind, deepens feelings, and suspends the average time. We may undergo a warm, healthy rebirth by concentrating on the respiratory system. Our perception of alienation disappears, and self-destruction evaporates, and we feel energized and comfortable at the same time. The way to connect with your companion and the entire universe is to concentrate on your heart.

In the West, they missed the sensibility of the wind that many cultures have long exercised as an accessible yet profound tool of personal transformation. You might be shocked by how the deep

 

breathing exercises could bring about significant and dramatic improvements.

 

Chapter 18.  Importance of Communication

Communication is the secret to accomplishment in a relationship, but it is particularly important in sexual relationships. For a certain something, it's been scientifically demonstrated to expand satisfaction on both sides of the equation—various studies, including a recent investigation from the analysts at Temple University, have discovered that transparently communicating about sexual needs and health has all the earmarks of being a strong predictor of feeling satisfied in a relationship, both in bed and when all is said in done.

But the estimation of verbal intercourse goes past, making you two more joyful. Important though satisfaction is in any sexual relationship, talking about your wants and needs with each other has other important emotional benefits. It brings you closer, making you feel more secure and progressively secure in your relationship. It causes you both to feel progressively competent and, as a result, increasingly confident. You never again need to think about what the other individual wants and marvel whether or not you're doing it right

—and neither of you needs to "counterfeit it" and pretend to appreciate something rather than supporting apprehension that you will be scorned or hurt the other individual's emotions.

It's likewise vital, both for the health of your relationship and your very own prosperity, to have the option to talk about physical concerns, including scatters, disabilities, or other restorative worries that may affect your sexual function. It's much better to bring such

 

issues up as quickly as time permits to guarantee both your safety and your partner's. Regardless of whether neither of you currently has a particular medicinal or physical issue to consider, essentially having the option to communicate what feels better and what can’t go far towards preventing sex-related wounds and infections.

Being in agreement in terms of play styles and toys is important for emotional and physical health, too. If one of you is into increasingly in-your-face exotic play including beating and leather whips while the other doesn't care to get more adventurous than trying on a soft

satin blindfold on occasion, your solution ought not be to "suck it up" and pretend to make the most of your partner's wrinkles—nor should you try and power your partner to be into yours. Communication means being available to each other's interests and needs and discovering solutions to sexual problems that will help you both feel increasingly satisfied, all through the bedroom.

Step by step instructions to Communicate Effectively

Obviously, communication isn't just an issue of opening your mouth and talking. So as to have any effect, you need to realize how to articulate your sentiments unmistakably and affectionately—and how to listen and react to your partner's wants with attentiveness and compassion.

Introducing the Topic

 

The first stage in figuring out how to communicate effectively is making sense of how to start a conversation in the first spot. Realize that the timing may never be perfect—and trying to wait until it is may keep you procrastinating long past the perfect fateful opening. That being stated, trying to suggest a tricky bedroom topic during an unimaginably inopportune moment can be just as terrible.

• Don't start the conversation in an as of now emotionally charged discourse. In particular, trying to talk about a sensitive subject during a fight will undoubtedly leave an awful taste in both of your mouths, and once in a while (if at any point) results in an actual resolution.

• Do be available to communicate your needs in the bedroom—while you're sleeping. It's true that progressively genuine; in-depth conversations ought to presumably take place somewhere else—in case you're thinking of trying BDSM just because, for instance, it's important to talk about preferences and limits well early. But for increasingly straightforward or off the cuff requests, while you're together in bed may actually be the best spot to bring them up. Talking about sex can be sexy; don't stress over destroying the state of mind by requesting something different or new!

• Don't use sexy time as an excuse to manipulate your partner emotionally. It's alright to request what you want—it's not alright to try and extortion or force them into accomplishing something they unmistakably would prefer not to do.

 

• Do take the initiative. Your partner can't guess what you might be thinking anything else than you can peruse theirs. Don't expect them to realize something is up instinctively; it's dependent upon you to represent yourself.

Talking to Your Partner

• Keep quiet and stay positive. Rather than basically criticizing your partner's tastes or technique, outline your requests in a positive light at whatever point conceivable. For instance, in the event that they insist on similar old positions without fail, but you'd like to try utilizing a rooster ring or another couples' vibrator to zest things up, don't chastise them for being exhausting or traditional. Instead, tell them how you think another toy could be a reviving difference in pace.

• Don't let disgrace or dread of vulnerability keep you quiet. Don't be challenging for yourself in case you're not into utilizing toys for areola play like your partner is or you have A, dull, secret crimp you don't think they'll share. You may not generally concur on what's hot and so forth, but that's not so important as having the option to talk about these distinctions and find sexy solutions that work for you both. This is doubly true on the off chance that you've got a significant issue

that should be tended to; the more you wait to bring it up, mainly if it's a medicinal concern, the more regrettable it will get. Keep in

 

mind, maintaining your health and prosperity ought to consistently take priority overstaying away from unbalanced conversations or trying not to ruin the moment.

• Try not to overpower your partner. Making some noise isn't equivalent to talking over your partner and communicating doesn't mean blurting out everything that's at the forefront of your thoughts at the same time. Try to tackle just each issue in turn, and on the off chance that you've got a significantly extreme request as a primary concern, consider working up to it steadily. In case you're into S&M, and your partner is timid or saved, for instance, you most likely won't end up hopping into the deep end. Be eager to go moderate and take things slowly and carefully and be happy to stop if and when your partner asks you to, not just when you feel like it.

Listening to Your Partner

Just like your relationship, your conversations ought to be a two-way street. Make sure to let your partner realize you esteem their thoughts and sentiments as much as you want them to respect yours by remembering these three tips:

• Listen actively and respectfully. Regardless of how enormous or how little their requests, it's essential to let your partner realize that you're present in the conversation and ready not just to listen but to think about what they are stating, whether that implies acting on their

 

request or finding a mutually pleasant alternative. It's similarly critical to ensure you don't disgrace them for shouting out, regardless of whether you don't understand or concur with their inclinations— otherwise, they'll be significantly less prone to open up to you again in the future.

• Ask thoughtful questions. The secret to excellent communication isn't gesturing and concurring; it's creation certain you're both in agreement. The best method to do this is to ask your partner inquiries that assist them with making some noise or explain what they've just said. This additionally gives them that you're listening— and that you give it a second thought.

• Be available to suggestions, but clear on your limits. Be willing to at least think about trying your partner's requests, regardless of whether they appear to be a bit outlandish. Be that as it may, know your hard limits—things you absolutely cannot, or won't, try under any circumstances—and express them obviously and transparently with your partner—before things get hot and substantial.

 

Chapter 19.  The Psychology Behind the Language of Lust

The human mind has been pre-programmed to perceive sex as a sensitive act, which is only done and spoken of behind closed doors. This is something that we won’t be able to get rid of that easily. And so, despite our liberated front and our over-sexed culture, despite

the accessibility of pornographic materials, even talking or reading about sex is still enough to bring about a little tingle of excitement or stir a secret shame within.

From the time we were kids, we were taught by our parents that saying bad words is well… bad. But now we’re adults and somehow, breaking that rule with one’s partner while in bed feels oh-so-good.

It’s like saying: “Fuck yes! I’m a grown man/woman and I’m owning it. I can say whatever I want to and no one’s going to stop me or shame me for it.” Sadly, not all adults are as free. Some are still subconsciously bound by the same old rules. And so, they strive to be good girls and boys even in bed. It’s not to say that they’re

immature. Rather, it may be that the shackles of societal conventions bind them too heavily. But that’s all part of the fun in dirty talking! The fact that you get to say what you can’t in front of others makes the lovemaking more intimate, rawer and more real. The moment that bedroom door closes, and the first nasty word pass your lips, that’s the time you really strip in front of your lover.

In some ways, voicing out all the freaky things that’s on your mind is more revealing than taking your clothes off. After all, in the latter, you only bare your body while in the former, you bare your soul.

 

Sex is first conceived in the brain. In fact, 80% of the sexes we have in our lifetimes occur inside our heads. These comprise of the carnal memories, the build-up of desire, and the conscious and subconscious fantasies. These are the driving forces that influence all things that we do during the actual intimate act. By the time you slip into the sheets, your brain has been leading up to the erotic encounter. In other words, even before you start getting down and dirty with your lover, your mind has already fondled and fucked him/her a thousand times over.

Perhaps you’ve already read somewhere that the brain is the largest, most powerful sex organ that men and women commonly share.

After all, the brain has a boundless reserve of sensual stimuli and it’s where the sex drive originates. Each time you moan, scream, or whisper something into your lover’s ear, his/her brain’s hearing center processes it. It is also processed by the temporal, frontal, and occipital lobes. So, while this important sexual organ may not be touched physically, dirty talk before and during sex allows you to lick, caress, and fuck various parts of your lover’s brain all at one time and all while you’re pleasuring your partner’s body.

Dirty words are, in a way, the quickest, surest way to fuck your lover’s brains out.

True enough, the correct amount and type of carnal convo can titillate your lover’s mind. Yep, you read that right. There is such thing is the correct type and amount dirty talk. That’s because women’s and men’s brains are wired differently. There’s a huge difference in how male and female limbic systems work in the brain.

 

Scientific research reveals that the preoptic area, that is, which is concerned with mating behavior, is twice as large in males in comparison to females. Moreover, it is made up of twice more cells. In other words, the male gender has a larger hypothalamus. So, what does this mean? Since testosterone production is triggered by the gonadotropin-releasing hormone from the hypothalamus, this means that men have higher levels of circulating male sex hormone. This consequently triggers their desire for sex. Conversely, in the case of the female, which has a smaller hypothalamus, the testosterone, and thus, the sex drive, is not nearly as high in comparison.

Women link romance with emotions while men link romance with sexual affirmation. While sex for a man is about confirming his vitality and his manhood, sex for a woman is about reassurance that she is attractive, accepted, and adored. Therefore, if you’re a woman, a surefire way to bring your man to the brink of desire is to use dirty words that praise his manhood. Simply put, if you worship his cock, you worship him. Conversely, if you’re a man, a guaranteed way to get your woman in the mood for love is to compliment her body. In other words, make her feel like a goddess and she will indeed perform like a goddess in bed.

Dirty talk works by giving your partner exactly what he/she needs.

Per research, a lot of women who hold dominant positions in their careers prefer playing a more submissive role in the sheets. The woman may be the boss in the workplace. She may be the one giving all the orders. But in bed, in order to get excited, she needs to feel something that she doesn’t get to feel in her everyday life: She needs to feel that she’s vulnerable. When you command her in a

 

dominant tone, this stimulates the amygdala aka the fear center of her brain. This snatches the control away from her hands and that’s what makes it exciting for her. More importantly, you’re lifting the weight of the responsibility off her shoulders. This allows her to just let go. Because for once, it’s not her duty to be in control of everything.

In the heat of passion, it’s easy to just focus on oneself and forget what the other is feeling. This is why a lot of lovers make the mistake of neglecting their partner’s needs at a crucial moment in lovemaking. Dirty dialogue during sex enables us to be more open to our partner’s immediate needs and desires so we can take care of those needs. To put things more plainly, dirty talk allows us to become more sensitive, more generous lovers.

At the same time, dirty talking during sex permits us to voice out our own wants and desires without sounding too selfish or too demanding.

Many self-help books on the topic of sex will urge you to maintain open lines of communication in bed. They’ll tell you to be honest and informative and respectful. This way, you and your partner can both give each other what you want and need. However, what they fail to mention is that there is an art to it.

There are also some sex guidebooks that will tell you to just zip it. They’ll advise you to minimize talk during intercourse because this can distract your lover and possibly kill the mood.

So, which of these books are preaching the truth? Here’s a secret: Both are. While feedback is necessary for great sex, any words that come out of your lips can distract your and your lover’s thoughts

 

from the moment. Moreover, any spoken words during sex can easily be misunderstood.

Look at the example below:

“Honey, please don’t come before I do.” Politely put? Yes.

Honest? Surely. Instructive? Definitely. Sexy? Not quite.

Distracting? Very.

In fact, such a statement may end up embarrassing your lover. So instead of being helpful, instead of improving the quality of lovemaking, you end up making your partner feel that he’s selfish, or inadequate, or that his lovemaking style sucks. Moreover, such a statement will only reveal that you’re nowhere close to achieving orgasm. While this may be true, this is not necessarily something that your lover should hear while he’s figuratively (and literally) busting his balls trying to make you come.

Here you will realize that while dirty talk may be labeled by some as offensive, it is in fact, the most non-offensive way of communicating your wants and needs to your partner. Just take a look at this “filthified” version below:

“Oooh… That feels so good, hon. Keep doing that and I’m gonna come so hard!”

See? The thing about dirty talk is that it is completely congruent with your dirty deed. Thus, it allows you to instruct without having to distract. It enables you to honestly reveal that you’re not yet close to

 

climax without making your lover feel like a loser. Instead, it encourages your partner to perform better so he/she can reap the immeasurably gratifying reward of making you come… so hard.

Dirty talk allows you and your partner to be true to yourselves and to know each other in the most intimate sense of the word.

In daily life, there’s this constant pressure to conform to society’s standards. There are only certain things you can say. There are only certain things you can do. Dirty talk allows you and your lover to tap into your more primal, more creative natures. In other words, it brings out the animal within, all without fear or shame or guilt. This pertains to the wild and sensual part of us, which is oft lost, oft forgotten, and oft allowed to wither and die. This part is frequently suppressed by our fear of being judged, of being called a freak, or of

losing our partner’s love. However, lovemaking will never be so great until both your inner beasts can face and embrace each other

without anxiety and without embarrassment. When you and your partner can see through each other and accept what you see within, only then can you truly call yourselves intimate lovers. Only then can you truly call someone the mate of your soul.

You can stand naked in front of anyone. You can kiss, caress, and make love to anyone. But to allow someone to peek at your thoughts while you’re in a most vulnerable state? That entails trust. That entails a special kind of love.

If you’re not sure if your partner is ready for your idea of fun, a great way to test the waters is through some dirty talking. Think of it as a lube to smooth the way before fucking your lover in a way that he/she has never dreamed of being fucked before. For instance, if

 

your bedmate still cringes upon being called a slut, then chances

are, he/she is not ready to be treated like one. If, however, your lover seems to respond positively to the word, then chances are, he/she is open to the idea. And we all know how easily words can turn into deeds.

Naughty lingo gets the juices flowing. The creative juices, that is.

As mentioned, 80% of sexual activity takes place within the brain. Words, when spoken out loud, have a way of embedding themselves into the subconscious. Thus, if you inform your lover what you intend to do to him/her, the erotic scenario will play itself over and over in your mind until the opportunity arises that you’re able to get physical. At this point, the scenario will cease being just a dream.

For instance, if a man tells his woman: “I’m going to fuck you on your desk and show you who’s boss.”, the image of his woman bent over her desk, with her skirt hiked up and her panties around her ankles will be tattooed on his brain until it becomes so irresistibly vivid. He’ll dream up of ways on how to transform this fantasy into reality. Soon, he’ll be paying her a surprise visit in her office.

There are some sexual fantasies that we may be reluctant to turn into reality. Perhaps we’re not ready yet. Perhaps we’ll never be ready for them. Nevertheless, dirty talk can serve as a stepping- stone towards realizing those fantasies. If not, then at least it can allow us to partially live out those fantasies. For instance, while you may not really want to beat the shit out of your wife or husband, playing with rough words (ex: Stay down or I’m going to slap you, you filthy whore.) can serve as a satisfying and even a therapeutic alternative.

 

You’re probably wondering: Why? Why would a woman (or a man) who is naturally offended by being called a “whore” outside the bedroom be okay with-it during sex? The answer to that is simple: When the word “whore” or “slut” is used outside the bed, the term carries the definition which society has given it. That is, a person of loose morals who allows just about anyone and everyone to make free of his/her body. However, when used privately in bed, the woman/man is free to control the word, give it its own definition.

He/she can use it according to his/her own terms. A “whore” could be someone who’s super flexible in bed or someone with a body so

hot, there’s just no decent word for it. A “slut” could be someone who swallows cum. Or not. It could be someone who lets his/her partner fuck him/her up the ass. Or not. “Whore” doesn’t have to mean cheap. “Slut” doesn’t have to be unclean. That is, unless you want it to be.

Dirty talk enables you to be in tune with each other.

It makes sure that you and your lover are on the same page. Screams of pleasure are always a welcome sound but the thing about them is that they’re easy to misconstrue. One particularly frustrating yet surprisingly common scenario is when your partner stops the delightful thing that he/she is doing because he/she misinterprets your moans of pleasure for moans or pain. Indeed, there’s no surer way to kill a sexy mood. Situations like these can easily be prevented if only one has had the courage to speak what’s in his/her mind. Saying something like: “Oh, baby, don’t you dare stop!” is an easy way to tell your lover that he/she is on the right trajectory.

 

Dirty talk is about caressing the ego. The language of lust is about lifting each other up.

Most will agree that sex is more than just a physical release. It is an expression of love. It is an act of emotional bonding. But more than that, it is an act of healing. When done correctly, the act of lovemaking can help lovers process major and minor traumas together. Through sex, we help build up each other’s sense of self- worth. We help each other grow. Your words have the power to help a shy flower bloom into a voluptuous goddess. Your words have the magic to make a man feel indestructible. Women are especially self- conscious about their bodies. Despite appearances, men are constantly anxious about their performance in the sack. Saying something like: “God, your breasts are beautiful!” or “I love the way your cock really fills me up.” is a miraculous elixir against all the insecurities that have held your partner down for most of his/her

life.

At the end of lovemaking, dirty talk is an expression of appreciation and gratitude.

Naughty words are one way of saying: “I didn’t just fuck you. I loved it.” Sometimes, it’s also a way to say: “I didn’t just fuck you. I love you.” in a totally non-awkward way. It matters not whether your intention is to express your affection or to secure a second invitation into a lover’s bed. If you use dirty talk to build your lover’s confidence in a sincere manner, the more he/she will want to sleep with you again and again. By acknowledging your lover’s efforts with dirty sentences like: “God, I love coming deep in your throat.” or “My pussy feels so raw from riding your cock... I’d totally do it again.”, you are adding emotional gratification on top of their physical

 

satisfaction. In the end, this will make you the best, most thorough lover that he/she has ever had.

Examples

Let’s get down to business. While these lines can have a great positive impact on your partner and overall sex life, it is better to customize them to suit your particular situation. Your partner can tell if you are just recanting things you read off a book because it won’t sound real and it won’t be tailored to him or her.

You can use these examples as a guide for creating your own original lines. Talking dirty doesn’t mean blabbing away throughout sex. A few simple but well-timed naughty remarks are all that is required to take your sex experience up a notch. Remember to vary your lines so they won’t become boring. The best way to do that is to tune into the sensations you feel, the sexual desires you want to be fulfilled, and then vocalize them.

 

Chapter 20. Foreplay

Foreplay is a very important part of sex, but sometimes too neglected.  The world of sexual foreplay is varied, imaginative and so vast that there are usually many doubts that girls and boys have about this topic. In fact, the foreplay, also called petting, is still talked about too little or too vaguely, but there is nothing more wrong, since sexual foreplay is a fundamental part of sex and corresponds to all those exciting and fun acts, which can bring both him and her to orgasm, even before having a full intercourse.

What is foreplay?

The foreplay is all those forms of physical intimacy that generate pleasure in both women and men. In short, the foreplay is that which warms the atmosphere, which helps to create intimacy, which favors vaginal lubrication and male erection, making the relationship easier and above all they are those who, mixing excitement and fun, add the pepper needed to make a lively and colorful relationship.

Although many women are fascinated by the sex scenes of the movies, by the clothes that fly in the air and by the bodies that quickly end up between the sheets, it is precisely everything that happens before, in a slow and delicate way that we should crave. But let's try to understand what so-called sexual foreplay is and how it is done.

The first most common question is: "What are the acts of foreplay?". Acts of foreplay can be kisses, caresses, massages on the body and

 

in the private parts, stimulation of her clitoris and that of his penis, penetration with fingers and fellatio and all that touching, cuddling, whispering. Basically, all that can promote excitement and fun.

There is no precise rule for doing foreplay well, just as there is no precise rule for having good sex. We just have to let go, relax, not be blocked by inhibitions, doubts, fears, anxieties, expectations and put ourselves all in the sexual relationship, from the beginning, right from the preliminary.

It is also important to know that foreplay doesn't necessarily have to lead to sex. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, there is nothing wrong with stopping at petting, just as, even when a relationship has been stable and has been going on for years, sometimes, only petting can awaken the desire and desire to stay together.

Best ways to do foreplay

If you haven't petted with a guy yet and if you don't know where to start, here is a list of practical tips on how to make foreplay that might come in handy.

When you are still dressed, start by kissing your partner slowly, start from the side of the mouth, to get to the lips; continue on the neck, then remove the shirt and go down the body, until you get where you want. Play also with the tongue in his mouth, passes it on his lips

 

and then on his neck and ears, but remember to do everything very slowly and not hiding the passion and desire you have.

Do not forget to look your partner in the eyes with a sweet, but also sensual look, with that hint of malice that will particularly excite your partner. You can continue with a massage, perhaps done with the lights off, only with a few candles lit and with a scented diffuser for rooms that contributes to creating a special atmosphere. If you want a hot gem, undress each other and very slowly in front of the mirror, looking at you and smiling maliciously through the reflection.

If you are going to pave the way a little, especially if it is not long that you go out together, start warming up the atmosphere with some erotic messages. Start travel with the imagination, encourage your partner to do the same and you will see that when you meet that passion will explode.

To do foreplay there is no perfect place, on the contrary, the stranger the place, the more intriguing and exciting it will be. The bed, therefore, is not to be discarded, but it is not the option number 1.

The important thing is to be alone, to be able to create the right intimacy and be calm. If for example you are driving or on a completely deserted beach, foreplay could turn to be a very big.

How to make foreplay last long

Very often the foreplay is underestimated, it does not last long, and the aim is to get straight to the point of penetration. Yet, whatever the

 

partner say, petting should last much longer. But how do you extend the foreplay? There are several tricks: firstly carry on the foreplay throughout the day, this does not mean that you will have to spend the whole day in underwear, but that you can stimulate your partner with a message, with a whispered phrase in the ear, with a provocative dress, with a mischievous joke. To extend the foreplay, also start by giving your partner or having him do a relaxing massage, which will make the atmosphere warm. If he tends to get to the point, take control of the situation, dictate the pace, guide the relationship: you will see that your partner will not mind your initiative. And then talk, do not keep inside what goes on in your head, in sex you must not have modesty, the more you will give space to your fantasies and the more the petting and the whole sexual relationship will be satisfying for both.

Foreplay extended

For many (especially men) desire passes and grows through the eyes. When you start foreplay, don't turn off the light entirely. In the soft light of a lamp or some candle you watch your bodies playing. If you can, stand in front of a mirror and observe yourself: you will climb another step of the staircase of intimacy. Slowly increase your desire: with kisses and caresses, never go too quickly towards the erogenous zones. Keeping your partner waiting will increase erotic tension. Very often it is men who do not know how to do it.

Tease your partner with light hands, from feet to head, listening to his reactions. Do not forget the erogenous zones: the breasts or nipples

 

(even those of him are sensitive), the inside of the thighs, the buttocks, the back of the knees, the ears. Do not be fierce or offended if the partner shows impatience or remains insensitive to certain touches. Just try it another way.

The human being needs to kiss and be kissed. Especially before and during sex. Why? The frequency and intensity of contact between lovers' mouths is a thermometer to measure the degree of intimacy and health of the couple. With a French kiss, messages of sexual pleasure are sent to the brain through the nerve endings on the surface of the tongues. For this reason, psychologists consider language to be a psychological sexual organ, that is, a part of the body that plays a fundamental role in love affairs, even though it is not involved in reproduction.

The sexual organs can be stimulated with the hands, the mouth or by rubbing (masturbation). The most sensitive female point is the clitoris, an erectile body that has many nerve endings, between the folds of the labia minora, and which for a significant percentage of women represents the only viaticum for pleasure (clitoral orgasm). Many women, however, experience pain if at the beginning the stimulation is direct: therefore, it is advisable to start from the surrounding area, slowly, and always in a gentle way. Thousands of pleasure receptors are concentrated in the penis, the male genital

organ: for example, the crown, the skin circumference that separates the rod from the glans penis (the top of the penis), which is a very sensitive area, or the glans itself. The testicles are also an

 

erogenous zone. During foreplay some people prefer silence, others love to pronounce or hear words of love, and still others get excited with hard sentences.

Have fun and vary. Be bold, experiment, make requests to the partner and push your him or her to tell you what he prefers. One evening, focus on tenderness, the other, be stronger.

The magic of kissing

We spend an average of 20,000 minutes of our life kissing. There are passionate kisses, the shy ones of the first date, the everyday kisses and those to say goodbye. To celebrate them all in 1990, World Kiss Day was born in Great Britain, from the English World Kiss Day. It occurs every year on July 6th to celebrate all the emotions and sensations that a kiss is capable of unleashing within us.

Behind this gesture, which unites couples from all over the world and is synonymous with transport, sharing, contact and passion, many psychological, anthropological and scientific meanings are hidden.

From the hormones that it is capable of unleashing to why when we kiss, we tilt our heads to the right, find out everything there is to know about the kiss.

The kiss involves four of the seven cranial nerves and about 36 facial muscles, consuming from 2 to 3 calories per minute, setting in

 

motion the production of oxytocin, which increases the bond and the rapprochement. When a kiss is particularly engaging, some people feel that their hearts explode with emotion. The kiss is a fundamental part of the foreplay.

It's the fault of adrenaline and norepinephrine, two hormones that make the heartbeat faster, also causing an increase in redness on the face: we are not hot, we are just very, very excited. After all, whoever compares being in love with a hangover does not go too far from reality: the effects on the brain of oxytocin, the well-known love hormone, are completely similar to those induced by alcohol. The kiss is capable of allowing the body to release fundamental euphoric substances, such as dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins.

The frequency and intensity of contact between lovers' mouths is a thermometer to measure the degree of intimacy and health of the couple. With a French kiss, messages of sexual pleasure are sent to the brain through the nerve endings on the surface of the tongues.

For this reason, psychologists consider language to be a psychological sexual organ, that is, a part of the body that plays a fundamental role in love affairs, even though it is not involved in reproduction.

For many, kissing is a simple display of affection, but in reality, there is a complex science of kissing behind it. Have you ever wondered why we kiss? The act of kissing is characteristic of our species: mammals and other animals kiss each other smelling, man has a

 

less developed sense of smell and to make up for this impairment he created the gesture of kissing. On the biochemical level, then, it has a different meaning in the male and female. Testosterone is present in saliva in men, which excites the woman's desire by predisposing her to mating. In the woman's saliva, however, benzodiazepine is present, the anxiolytic molecule par excellence, a sort of natural valium that has the purpose of appeasing the male's innate performance anxiety.

Keep your eyes closed to get totally involved from the moment and not to have distractions. The most overwhelming kisses are those with eyes closed because by blocking the sense of sight, the brain is able to concentrate better on the information that comes to it from the touch.

How can a woman transmit the will to kiss him or want to be kissed to a man? The lips have a very strong seductive function because in the male unconscious they remember the big lips of the vagina.

Since the man has reached the upright position, he no longer shows signs related to fertility, and therefore, unconsciously, these messages are transmitted through makeup. Especially the outline of the lips, if accentuated, goes to push a button in the male brain of availability. The more the lips are enhanced, the more the seduction is enhanced: therefore, go-ahead to make-up, but without exaggerating. Lipsticks and lip glosses are beautiful to look at but not much to kiss. The important thing is to always have lips hydrated and

 

not chapped: natural lip balm and scrubs with oil and sugar are excellent for making them soft.

 

Chapter 21.  Building Your Carnal Confidence

Talking is supposed to be easy. After all, you’ve been doing it since you were a kid. But why on earth is dirty talking so darn hard? The truth is that even the most talkative individuals and even the most imaginative writers find playful pillow talk a bit challenging. Some words may seem erotic on print but might sound downright embarrassing when spoken out loud. Even the most sexually confident men and women will eventually come across a naughty word that would make them blush from head to toe. That’s because traditionally, sex has always been about the deed.

At first, dirty talking would make you feel like you’re somehow stripping your clothes off over and over again. With every word, it’s like a new layer comes off and you’ll wait anxiously as to how your partner will react. Will he like it? Will she get turned off?

So, how do you make sure that all that sexy talking won’t send your lover packing?

First, practice with yourself.

Your vulgar vocab may initially shock you but who cares? You’re the only one who’ll be able to hear it anyway. Begin by masturbating.

Then, start talking dirty to yourself. At this point, you don’t have to have a rich vocabulary. Just use simple words. Focus on the pleasure and think out loud. Blurting out an honest sentence like: “Oh yeah, that feels good.” is already a hundred times hotter than staying silent.

 

Next, imagine that you’re having sex with your lover. It’s what you do when you masturbate, anyway. If you’re a guy, as you slip your cock into your lubed-up fist, imagine that it’s her pussy. And so instead of saying: “Oh yeah, that feels good.”, say: “Oh yeah, your pussy feels good.”

If you’re a woman, imagine his cock as you slide your fingers in and out of you. And so instead of saying: “Oh yeah, that feels good.”, say: “Oh yeah, your cock feels so good.”

Still, words like “good” are way too broad. When it comes to sexy talk, the more specific you are, the greater the impact. As you continue imagining that you’re making love to your partner, describe the feelings in your head. Bring life to those sensations with adjectives.

Examples:

“Oh yeah, your pussy is so fucking tight!” “Oh yeah, your cock is so fucking thick!”

But then again, anyone’s cock can be thick. Anyone’s pussy can be tight. For dirty talk to be powerful, it must hit home. Moreover, when using adjectives, you must be careful and make sure you stick to the truth as much as possible. For instance, don’t describe a man’s cock as “thick” when you both know that it isn’t.

The next step, therefore, is to consider your partner. What’s he/she like? What do you think he/she would like to hear most? What do you think he/she needs to hear most?

Is he’s constantly worried about his size? Say something like: “Baby, I love how your cock fits me perfectly.”

 

Is she self-conscious about her heavy boobs? Tell her how burying your face in them feels like heaven.

See, you’re getting good at this already! As you get more comfortable and more talkative, masturbate and practice your dirty talk with a tape recorder. Listen to yourself. This way, you’ll know whether you need to talk more or to talk less, to speak louder or softer, or whether you need to take the naughtiness up or down a notch.

Form a positive attitude and an open mind.

The source of most people’s hang-ups is the idea that dirty talk somehow cheapens them, their partners, or their relationships. To become erotically eloquent, you need to get over the myth that dirty words makes the act of sex unclean. One thing you need to understand is that a person’s sexual persona is just one aspect of himself/herself. Who your lover is in the sack does not make up all of him/her? It is not who he/she is outside the bedroom. Your genitals are not dirty. Your partner’s genitals are not dirty. By using straightforward words to refer to them (ex: cunt, penis, pussy, cock, breasts, boobs, vagina, balls, etc.), you are asserting the fact that these body parts are not to be ashamed of but instead deserve to be appreciated and therefore, mentioned.

Try this activity:

Stand naked in front of a mirror. Look at your genitals and touch them. Observe them. Determine and describe what you like most about them.

Ex:

 

My breasts are a nice handful. My nipples are small and pretty. I love how sensitive they are!

or My breasts are big and generous. They’re soft and bouncy and I love playing with them!

Make sure that you concentrate on the positive things. And never, ever compare yourself with the airbrushed vaginas and surgically enhanced penises in porno films and magazines. Ex: If you’re conscious about how your labia minora is an outie, think about how awesome it is that your guy gets to have some flesh to nibble on during cunnilingus.

Talk to your lover about sex. It’s the healthy thing to do.

The more comfortable you are with discussing sex with your lover, the easier it is for you to transition to dirty talking. After having sex, move close to your partner and confess to him/her how you felt.

Mention the bedroom tricks and lovemaking positions that you liked the most. Tell your lover which things you want her/him to do again and again.

Ex: I went crazy when you put a vibrator on my clit while you went down on me. I can’t wait for you to do it again.

Be specific. Get graphic. Sure, it was hot when your lover did it to you but hearing the act narrated through your lips will make it even hotter. Observe your lover’s reaction. His/her response will help you gauge how he/she feels about smutty speech.

Never judge.

 

The bed should be a judgment-free zone. Just as you don’t criticize your partner when he/she shows you his/her body, refrain from criticizing your lover when he/she bares his/her thoughts.

Understand that to speak openly entails trust. To be vocal before, during, or after intercourse makes one more vulnerable. Therefore, during sexy talk, stifle the urge to laugh or to react indignantly. Don’t rebuke your lover for his/her poor choice of words during sex or foreplay. Talk about it at least a few hours later.

Ex: You know when we were making love and you called me a cum dumpster? Well, that was a little too dirty for me.”

Dirty talk is not a license to be disrespectful.

To stop dirty talk from being a tad too dirty for your tastes, create a set of rules with your partner. Talk about which words you’re okay and not okay with.

Example: “I’m fine with being called a gutter whore. Just don’t call me a bang hole.”

Great lovemaking is all about give and take. It’s easy enough for the more talkative partner to dominate the dirty dialogue. That said, view dirty talking as an opportunity to allow the more silent person to verbalize more. It’s one way to get to know your lover in a deeper sense. Don’t forget to take turns and to always be on the same page when acting out roles. If one is the slave, then the other must be the master. There can’t be two masters at one time. Moreover, being able to put yourself in the shoes of the listener and the talker will enable you to form a sensible perspective.

“Hey honey, let’s dance the chocolate cha cha.”

 

Does this colloquial term for anal sex conjure images of feces? If it does, then you don’t have to use it in your coital conversations. Feel free to make your own lust lingo that you’ll feel comfortable with.

Remember, the objective of dirty talk is to arouse you and not to gross you out. More than, making your own secret dirty dialect will serve to deepen the intimacy that you share with your lover.

Once you’ve already gathered up the courage to talk dirty, don’t make the mistake of going with the same old, same old stuff.

Refrain from using the same phrases over and over. For God’s sake, you’ve come so far, so don’t spoil it! Strive to make yourself unpredictable. After all, dirty talking is ten times more powerful when you can catch your partner unaware. Experiment with different voices and venture out of your comfort zone. Be Casanova at one time and then a caveman the next.

When it comes to mastering steamy bedroom talk, widening your lewd lexicon is a useful weapon. For some, penis and vagina may seem a bit too clinical. Instead of saying pussy or the commonly used cunt, experiment with other terms. (honeysuckle, juice box, Altar of Venus, etc.) Likewise, there are so many words you can use in place of cock (joystick, cum gun, fuck rod, etc.). Examine how you feel about incorporating these words into your lovemaking routine.

Are they too trashy? Too clean? Too medical? Too offensive? Get a list of modern sex-related jargons and read them with your partner. Pick the ones that you think are hot. Laugh at the funny ones. Roll your eyes at the corny ones. Make it a fun thing!

How many times can you use the words “great” and “hot” and “good” before it all goes stale? Enrich your vocabulary of carnal adjectives.

 

List down words you can use to describe your partner’s vagina. Wet and slippery and warm are all fine but how about luscious, plump, succulent, lip-smacking? In the same way, hard and long are all good, but the words iron and enormous and powerful can also be used to describe a dick.

The same truth applies to when you describe your lovemaking and your climaxes. Saying “That was amazing.” will sound wonderful the first, the second, and maybe even the third times but by the fourth time, the compliment is likely to seem more mechanical and less sincere. Use words like ground-shattering, out-of-this-earth, and spine-tingling to refer to a satisfying orgasm.

 

Conclusion

Having sex is a thrilling activity. It is a lot of fun and one of the strongest bonds that can exist between you and your lover. It can contribute to your health in ways you cannot imagine, and it has a lot to do with your self-esteem.

Having sex may be tied to a lot of problems, however. They range from orgasm, sexual anxiety, foreplay, sexual compatibility, sex styles and many others that I have mentioned in this e-book. I realized the urgent need to provide solutions to all of the sexual

problems people face, and after years of research and writing. I have done that in this book.

What problem did you encounter in your sexual life? How did you apply my suggestions to your love life? What was your partner’s reactions?

I will be glad to know how much I have influenced your family. I really hoped you enjoyed this, and I enjoin you to kindly leave some great comments down here. See you, have fun, have sex!

Perhaps things were difficult over the phone and you’d feel better if you could look him in the eye. Maybe you tried out a fantasy, but you got all tied up in all the wrong ways using the bondage equipment and, next time, you could stand to do a little more preparation. Or maybe you posed a new idea in a place that wasn’t as comfortable as you thought for him and he turned the color of beetroot.

Use every experience as a learning opportunity and allow it to guide you as you move forward. If you find that you’re losing confidence using certain words and sentences, by all means stop right there and

 

never use them again – you’ve found your comfort limits and there’s no need to break through them if you don’t want to.

Practice those dirty words in front of the mirror or build up to them slowly over time by aiming for some softer fantasy roleplay first.

Over time, you will begin to build a sexual repertoire that you never dreamed you’d be capable of. Your dirty talk has unlocked the door to all sorts of experiences you didn’t know how to ask for, and you’ll enjoy some a lot more than others.

Sex can be incredibly freeing and is definitely something that you should relish in and cherish with a partner — or even a one-night stand, we don’t judge here.

While the sex we often see on television is vanilla and the sex in pornography can be incredibly daring, the truth is that good sex lies somewhere in between the two. Humans have been practicing and denying their sexual natures for centuries, but the truth is that no matter how far back in history you go, or what religion you choose to follow, sex still makes up an important part of a healthy and intimate relationship, both with yourself and a partner.

There are very few wrong ways to enjoy yourself during sex, and as long as your partner is of age and the action is consensual then you have free reign to enjoy your sexual proclivities however you see fit.